Roseville, MN
Christmas, 1999
Dear Family and Friends,
1999 is drawing to a close now, and we have been Minnesotans for more than a year. This past year was (fortunately!) not nearly as eventful as 1998, but it was very satisfying, although also quite busy.
Our younger son, Thomas, is severely autistic. He has very little functional speech, a seizure disorder, and severe dietary restrictions. It is doubtful that he will ever be able to live anything like a normal life. He will need some kind of special care all his life. It was for his sake that we decided to move to Minnesota, because the possibilities for his care and therapy were vastly superior to those in Illinois.
So far we have been entirely satisfied with what we have found for Tom here. His school program is far superior to what we had in Evanston, and he is learning a lot. He is much more verbal and a lot easier and more enjoyable to be with. We have managed to find the right Mental Health Professionals to oversee his program, and to arrange for additional therapy for him outside of school. After a long wait we managed to find a wonderful PCA (Personal Care Aide) who comes to our house on weekday afternoons to work and play with Tom. This lets Mia spend more time with Jamie, or do any of the myriad of other things she may need or want to do.
Mia here. It took a long, long time to get things set up, but the services we have for both boys are nothing short of fantastic! Tom's school program is state-of-the art; in addition, he gets two hours each of speech and occupational therapy (OT; it helps to help integrate his nervous system) at a local facility specializing in cases like his. The therapists there are really first-rate. Possibly because of this, or because of his superior school program, or maybe because it was just time, he has really blossomed. He likes to look at books with us and say things from them. He can attend much better than he used to be able to, and sit calmly for longer periods. I don't know where he's going to end up, but he's going in a good direction right now.
Tom's PCA is Rick. He's 31, sports a natty goatee, and plays softball. When he isn't pretending to be a tough guy (something he does a lot just for fun) his real nature as a patient and caring person shows up in the way he handles Tom. He wrestles with him and has fun with him. I tried many aides from the agency I was using; Tom is a difficult case and, frankly, most of these people looked like they were doing this because they couldn't get a real job. Rick's different; he does the work because he thinks it's important. He's a huge blessing.
Jamie is now in 7th grade, at the Roseville Area Middle School. After extensive tests in January, his diagnosis was changed from ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) to Asperger's Syndrome. Asperger's is a high-functioning form of Autism, with many things in common with ADD. But it has some distinctive features, and the new diagnosis has helped us understand him better. It has also helped his school, and his therapists, work out better programs and therapies for him. For he is also getting a lot of support, and like Tom's, in both quality and quantity it is far beyond what we had in Evanston.
Jamie's doing quite well in middle school; he gets a lot of support but also is showing a lot of enthusiasm. He is also getting speech therapy at NovaCare now, and he'll be getting OT and also joining a therapeutic group of kids like himself. He loves fantasy and science fiction, Pokemon, and anything on the Cartoon Network.
Mia has thought about working outside the home, but so far nothing has seemed suitable. She spends a lot of time on scheduling and keeping appointments for the boys, and getting them off to school in the morning and greeting them in the afternoon. After that she really needs the rest of the day to do something else, such as work in the garden.
This property had no gardens when we bought the house, and I have enjoyed working on it. The bizarre weather we're having helps, just yesterday (December 9th!) I was spreading compost and planting grass seed. I have put in extensive flower beds, and I can't wait for spring!
I have now been working as a Database Architect at the Minneapolis Office of PowerCerv, a company that produces software for mid-sized manufacturing firms. Most of my work is on the design and development of the database changes for the new releases of the company software. I also do a variety of routine DBA tasks. Most of my work is done under Windows NT, using both Sybase and Microsoft SQL Server.
We continue to go to church at St. Christopher's, and feel warmly supported there. Glenn finds his work very satisfying; I like being there for the kids, and having the wonderful luxury of days to do what I want to!
Oddly enough, coming to Minnesota has also been deeply healing for us. Maybe it's because I don't have to go to work with people who keep talking about their recent/upcoming trips to Hawaii; maybe it's because the State itself recognizes and supports our needs (Yes, Minnesota pays for all the kids' therapy and the PCA). But, the toxic corrosive grief that I have carried for so many years about Tom is gone. He's still often difficult, he is still disabled, but it's OK now. He's Tom, and he's precious, and it's all going to be all right. We are richly rewarded for our act of faith in coming here. May God bless you as we have been blessed, in this Christmas and in the century to come.
Go to Glenn's home page, or to Mia's. See our 1998 or 2000 Christmas letters, or the index of letters.
©1999-2003 by Mia F. McDavid and Glenn T. McDavid.