The McDavid Family
Roseville, MN
December, 2006
Dear Friends and Family,
We wrote the first of these letters some 14 years ago when Tom was diagnosed with developmental delays; the prospect of writing individual notes to tell everyone this devastating news was just too painful. Over the years, we have come to treasure this oft-derided form of communication; it permits us to look back and take stock of our year; it is as much for our benefit as yours (though we love you dearly!)
This last year has been an important one. Life with Tom (our youngest at 16, autistic and nonverbal) had been increasingly difficult. He is now so large and strong that I cannot restrain him, if he comes at me full tilt, without risk that one of us will get hurt. When he was 15, he did send an aide to the hospital with a neck injury; we may never know the whole story about that, because she does not remember exactly what happened. All in all, it was impossible to keep him safely here at home, and our social worker finally succeeded in convincing the powers that be of this fact; in June, Tom moved into a group home.
Glenn here. The group home is located in a very nice neighborhood on the west side of Minneapolis, about a ˝ hour drive from our house under normal circumstances. This is actually quite manageable and, since we frequently have other reasons to visit that part of the Metro, is not really a hardship.
We had seen this coming for some time, so although our feelings were complex, we did have time to process them. We also worked with the group home some months before Tom moved in, so that they were able to meet him, and he them, and get to know each other a little. As a result, the move was really very smooth. There were a few visits, at first, where Tom thought he should pack up and leave with us; those were difficult and painful. Soon, though, he accepted the group home as his home; we can now take him, out, and even to our house for dinner, and he is cheerful about going back.
As a part of this, Tom started a new high school in the fall. This is also going very well. It is a lot of fun to hear his teacher talk about him, both the good and the bad. It is in Minneapolis, and is in fact the same high school his grandmother went to many years ago.
The rest of the year has been one long period of adjustment. Things that ordinary people take for granted, we can now do for the first time in years. Go away alone for the weekend; bake really good Christmas cookies; go out and cut down a tree. I don’t say we will, but we can.
We are still active in Clann Tartan, our 17th-century reenactment group. One thing I did, because I could, was to go to every event all year, and every school day of every event (school days are weekdays when kids come out on field trips. They are an important part of what we do, and are more difficult to get people for because of people’s jobs.) This was exciting, exhausting, and huge fun. I won’t do quite that much again; the fact that I was gone for half the day of October was a bit much.
One of the coolest things that I was involved with this year was the production of an arsaid—a woman’s shawl that traditionally is worn pleated into a belt. It goes from the crown of the head to the heels, and, if one is desperately poor, can serve as a sole garment (over a shift). I had been unable to find “pastel stripes on a cream or white ground” in a wool fabric, and finally decided that I would have to make my own. I wove three 4.5-yd lengths of fabric on a borrowed 32-in loom, and in October some of the Clann women and I waulked them at the Big Island Rendezvous. We sewed the cloth in a big circle, soaked it in hot ammonia, and sat around a table, beating the cloth as we passed it around and back into the tub. We sang traditional Gaelic songs to keep the beat of our work. It was hard and smelly and very cool; we did shrink, soften, and thicken the cloth as we had intended. Afterwards we strewed the length of cloth through the branches of a big oak and hung all of our own wet clothes around the edges of the tree!
I am also heavily involved in Clann Tartan, though my role is more behind the scenes. I am on the Board of Directors ("A board is long, hard, and narrow. It is made of wood."—Arthur C. Clarke) and serve as Secretary and co-editor of the newsletter. I also manage the organization’s web site and e-mail lists, but hope to shed some of the those responsibilities in the coming year.
I have learned to spin and become very interested in it. I am spinning various kinds of wool, and I have two spinning wheels, one that came to me because it was abandoned in a friend’s basement (I located the previous owner and paid her; it may be a valuable antique!), and one that a friend of a friend was getting rid of, not nearly as pretty but very easy for a beginner.
I continue to work in Database Support at Hennepin County and hope to stay there until retirement, although an internal transfer within the County organization is still a possibility. I have taken up the study of the Irish Language with a group that meets weekly in St. Paul. I have become increasingly interested in Irish and Scottish Gaelic culture and in looking beyond the many myths that have grown up around those subjects.
I also continue to practice traditional (non-electric) woodworking and am integrating it into some of our reenactment activities, as well as producing occasional gadgets to assist Mia’s fiber work.
James has been going to his Career Life Transitions program, and through them has been working part-time on an assembly line. He wants people to know that he has many detail-oriented tasks. He bags parts to a strict count (Accurate Component Sales). He types labels and ensures that they come off the printer correctly. He makes sure that no shreds of plastic get stuck in the sealer, which would make for a bad seal. Most importantly, he oversees the accurate work of his group; the boss knows that James will catch any mistakes!
We hope that your year has gone well and that God will bless your holiday and coming year.