Have You Chartered Your Course?
(Written in 1958)
Even though I took care of my invalid mother for over twenty years -- until her death
two and one-half years ago -- I would not be able to claim to have a basic capsule-like
plan that could be carried out for a better existence for the aged. The reason being
that it is so individual. Therefore, the solutions would be multiple and, in so many
cases, complicated.
I am now in my late forties and I am already thinking about the probable things that
lie in wake of me in the on-coming years. I am awakened to many truths because of those
years I took care of my mother.
Geriatrics is a tremendous subject and certainly a challenging one. I have come to
feel quite strongly against the giving of drugs to prolong a life that is merely
existing. I definitely agree that everything possible should be done for all patients
to keep them comfortable, but it seems unkind to inject a serum into a hopelessly-ill
person just to bring about mere existence. After having experienced a great deal of
illness myself, I feel if I survive to become elderly and would become hopelessly
incurable physically, I would not wish to have my misery prolonged -- not only for my
sake, but for the stress and strain on my family. Though I feel so right now, about
how I feel, I just hope that I am never called upon to make a decision of this kind
concerning another one's life.
One isn't able, from my viewpoint now, to prepare for the lingering years, for so much
of life seems to be inevitable as along the pathways in the eventide of life lurk many
annihilators -- and they are no respecter of persons. The elderly ones who retain full
control of their faculties are indeed most fortunate.
In theorizing and striving myself to live the Christian life, I would advise one to never
forsake the medium of prayer; for through this channel to God, one's life is enriched
immeasurably. Endeavoring to live the Christian life doesn't exempt one from hurtful
and harsh experiences, but it does supply one with an added strength to cope with
whatever life's problems are. Also, one is blessed with a better attitude toward just
about everything because spiritually one is able to stay calmer and more controlled
to solve problems when they arise or to accept that which you can't change.
Reading, I think, is a wonderful habit and very nerve setting. Books are like soft
velvet to me. I purposely leave books on tables and by chairs as they are an invitation
to take time out to read. I expressly leave my Bible open to choice passages. I find
that I cannot walk by without pausing to read a few morsels.
Cling to and exercise a hobby that you have the most talent for. God gave every one
at least one talent, and He meant for us to use them. If one becomes busily creative,
one is a much happier person.
Television and radio are wonderful mediums of entertainment, but I do feel that there
is a tendency to let them monopolize too much of one's time. However, since there is a
vast chasm in the lives of those chronically ill and those less ill, the amount of
viewing and listening time would depend on the kind of life a person was subjected to.
There are programs to suit everyone's taste and they are variable enough that one has
only to flick a dial to be appeased. Among the few programs I watch are the quiz
programs as I find they are wonderful brain stimulants and can add zest to an otherwise
dull moment.
Then there is letter writing -- one of the richest and most rewarding of all the arts!
My own mother could well have been called "a woman of letters!" I was so pleased that
she strove to keep up on this wonderful interest. Even though she was quite ill and
unable to cope with other things, she managed to keep up with her correspondence.
On her dresser were two letters ready to be mailed the morning she went away. I will
never forget how she anticipated mail delivery with such relish, and the disappointment
she felt when she didn't receive any mail -- which was seldom.
Some of her pen pals were school chums who lived in Pennsylvania where she was born and
raised. She had lost track of them for quite a number of years during the rearing of
her family, but through a bit of tracking down, she was able to retrieve some of these
dear ones who were just as elated as she was to renew acquaintances. Though their letters
were lengthy and frequent, I doubt very much if they ever ran out of happy reminiscing of
their "good ol' days."
Any penned visit is most rewarding and certainly not a triviality or a waste of time!
Those who can write at all should put forth the effort to write relatives and friends,
and, in so doing, you will not only enrich the lives of others, but your own life as
well. Those of us who are ill are not alone in our plight, but one of an army.
--by Elda Elizabeth (Routh) Eddleman (1910-1999)
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