Man, that was rough. If it weren't for the 6 boys 6 girls format, I don't think more than 4 guys would make it to the top 12. Only Ace and Taylor made any case for belonging on stage, while Bobby, Kevin, Will, Bucky, and David all belonged in the, "WTF are they doing on stage?" category. One of the boys will win? Randy is on something like crack, only the kind that doesn't make you thin. Unless he means Taylor, who is no boy.

Patrick - I told my wife, "this is a really bad choice for for him because it won't show off his range". Yup. And still, he decided to yell the song, you know, just to make things worse.

David - Constantine made sex faces last year, but David actually looks like he's climaxing (I know he's young, but typically you should only make this face once a song). I think "off-putting" is a bit understated. Also, no rhythm at all. He ambushed his notes left and right -- he should thank the band for keeping up with him. This kid sucks. And what's with the spasmodic head shaking?

Bucky - So much growling. So much pooping stance. Like he was taking a dump... off-key. Blecch.

Will - God, could his singing be any whiter? It's like he left the song out in the sun and all the soul evaporated from it.

Sway - I'm mixed about this. On one hand, some of the vocal stuff was impressive. On the other hand, it was shaky all over the place. It was like a figure skater with high technical marks but low artistic expression (yes, I know they did away with that).

Chris - Geez, you know he's a real rocker because he sings Bon Jovi. What's next, Nelson? Loverboy? He's better than Bucky, but I find his growly thing one note and uninteresting. I will admit he's a better singer than I thought he would be.

Kevin - Okay, first of all, Paris even called him Chicken Little. So it's totally sticking. He has a pronounced lisp when he sings, he furrows his brow so hard he looks like a Klingon, and he blinks incessantly like he has Tourettes. And his singing voice is so unappealing that you scratch your head wondering how he made it thus far. All signs point to him not making the top 12, but man, who's really standing in his way?

Gedeon - I think he's really good, but just picked the wrong song. I know it's fun to yell out songs, but it's a singing competition. Here's a hint -- if you can picture a group of drunken frat boys doing a sing along to your song choice, move on. Too many contestants make this egregious sin.

Elliot - "Potentially the best male singer in 5 years". Is "potentially" some sort of British slang for "definitely not", as in, "Elliot is potentially the best looking contestant in 5 years"? It's like DeNiro's Frankenstein got dermabrasion and moved to Amish country (yes, I know he played the Monster, but Frankenstein scans better). Sort of wavery and unappealing vocals.

Bobby - He looks like Jackie Gleason playing Charlie Chan. Also, he is not a singer. Did he get in on a dare or something?

Ace - Slight vocals, cheesy camera faces (I'm smoldering for you America), and... well, if Drew and his bro need a 98 Degrees reunion and one of the guys won't show up, they can call up Ace. Insubstantial.

Taylor - Didn't blow me away, but hands down the best of the night. I think he could sing pretty much anything and knock the cover off of it. Totally charming, although he was pretty giddy from the feedback.