So it was overall a good night, no real clunkers but nothing that really got me on my feet. I am starting to get really annoyed by Randy and Paula's lack of any sort of perspective, their tendency to heap praise on mediocrity, and their horrible double standards -- like if Kevin stays in key, he's great, but if Katherine doesn't hit all the notes perfectly she has stuff to work on. Simon's cheerleading for Kellie is also grating, basically saying, "you're not that great a singer but you're the one to beat" every time. Like, isn't this a singing competition? And it's not even her performance -- it's her whole "act" that has nothing to do with her song -- I mean why don't they get a firefighter, a marine, and someone with terminal cancer to root for? Because if Kellie is an example, they don't really have to sing or perform all that well, and I think that's sort of the beginning of the end for this show. When mascots like Kevin are even brought to this stage, then they really lose the integrity of the competition.

Mandisa - This was clearly her best performance, which was good for her since she was in the disadvantageous one hole. She actually had dynamics, modulation, and she was on her notes from start to finish (unlike last week's shaky start). My wife got goose bumps. I was less impressed, because when she goes big, it's gets out somewhat of control, as if she's more interested in blowing out my eardrums than singing. She seems more interested in making the sounds than singing the song, and that leaves me cold as well.

Bucky - Do you know why I never tried out for Idol (other than the fact that I'm waaaay too old)? It's because I'm not a very good singer. I used to karaoke with my friends all the time, and I'd have a good time singing and having fun and sometimes I'd sound pretty good, but I had no illusions (or delusions) about my singing prowess. But here's the thing -- I could sing that song better than Bucky. And if I can sing better than an Idol contestant, they just shouldn't be on the show. Just a washed out, scratchy, mumbly, piece of shit performance. And Randy and Paula have the balls to applaud the fact that he "had fun up there"? This is why Simon is the only judge who anyone seriously listens to. Because this was easily the worst performance of the evening, and given that he went second, I'd be shocked if he wasn't in the bottom three, and I'd be a bit surprised if he's not off the show. Because frankly, he should not have been on in the first place.

Paris - My wife got the goose bumps again. I was sort of not feeling the beginning of the song, but when she opened up at the end, she's was really impressive vocally. Still not as good as Midnight Train to Georgia, but I think she needs to find her groove like Fantasia did pretty soon or she'll start falling into the bottom three. She has, like two weeks tops before that happens.

Chris - Okay, it's one thing to just find a hard rock cover of any song on "The List" and then mimic it like he did with the Red Hot Chili Peppers version of Higher Ground to get around theme night. It's altogether another thing to not even credit the artists (in this case, Live) for their cover (of Walk the Line) and then take credit for it himself. And it wasn't even that good -- I really think he's more about the band and light shows than vocal prowess, because when he's not screaming, his voice is kinda weak and soulless. I am totally not digging this, and I don't know if there's going to be any fallout, but Simon's total lack of knowledge of modern rock makes him a patsy to the whole thing.

Katherine - Is she trying to look pregnant or are the rumors true? Another flowing outfit that uses cleavage to distract from the tummy. Here's my issue with Katherine -- while she's technically excellent, I just don't connect with her singing. It's like when you watch someone in musical theater singing and dancing at the same time -- they can't really commit to the singing because they gotta use part of their brain to dance. The net effect is that they're not all there -- they sound distant or distracted. Now, I don't know what's preoccupying Katherine ('cause she ain't dancing up a storm for sure), but that's exactly the feeling I get when I hear her. My wife thinks she's fake and mechanical. I just find it lifeless. BTW, anyone notice there was more cleavage in the recap? And then there was more cleavage when Ryan was saying his good night. Methinks the censors mandated they used a whole roll of double-sided tape and she sort of peeled some off after the performance.

Taylor - It's such the classic example of poor song choice that Taylor's name should accompany the Wikipedia article about "American Idol Poor Song Choice". It hits all of the points:

1) Heavily limited range

2) Repetitive lyrics

3) Repetitive music

4) Included a long instrumental solo

5) You could imagine drunken frat boys doing a sing along

Did he think he could whip out his harp or something? I mean, that would be the only thing that could save it. A total disaster for Taylor.

Lisa - So many things went wrong, I don't even know where to start. First off, WTF was she wearing? I just don't know where she found the 80's time machine to travel to the Ladybug in Paramus, NJ to get that hideous outfit. Coupled with her hair, she looked like a twelve year old from 1986 -- like something off of a Debbie Gibson album cover. I think it was a calculated move -- she looked sophisticated and mature last week and ended up in the bottom three, so she went totally the other way this week. Of course, I guess it never dawned on her to sing well instead, since she totally sucked, being off rhythm, missing notes all over the place, and generally looking totally lost on stage. The preview implied that she'd nail the song cold, but instead it looked like she was winging it. I did feel bad that she appeared that she was going to cry after Simon's comments, but she soldiered on and kept smiling. However, it was such a forced smile that it reminded me of Mr. Burns straining to achieve something resembling a smile. Definitely in the bottom three, definitely going home tonight if Bucky is spared.

Kevin - All I can give him is this faint praise -- he was actually not one of the worst singers. Shocking. Also, picked a song that's soulless, doesn't have anything to do with sex, is totally balls-less, and could be sung by an Irish tenor. In short, he picked a song that totally worked for him. This is his blueprint to the top six. Egad – Kevin in the top six?!?!?!

Elliott - The thing is, while he does have a nice tone, his voice is washed out, and I really have to strain to hear it. If I'm not totally paying attention, his voice barely registers to me. I can appreciate that his song was difficult, but America wants entertainment, not high degree of difficulty. He's really got to get back on track with song selection.

Kellie - So, if Kevin sings every song like an Irish tenor singing Oh Danny Boy, Kellie sings every song like she's singing Black Velvet. The confusing part was that they spent a good deal of the pre-song time to talk about how melancholy the song was and how she needs to tell the story in the song. And then she goes out there and vamps it up, like she's... well, like she's singing Black Velvet. Huh? And after weeks of increasingly dumb behavior, I have concluded that, while she may not be a rocket scientist, most of the dumb bunny routine is an act. Here's my evidence -- she had an entire week to find out what a minx was, not to mention that she's roommates with Katherine who could have told her the same day. Yet she comes on stage all ready with some cooked up a line about thinking Simon was calling her a coat. Really, just shameless and fake. Also, have you ever noticed that she keeps ending up on her knees while she's singing? She did it again last night. For some reason, she seems comfortable on her knees while grasping a mic. You can figure out a punch line from there.

Ace - Totally not making it to the top 6 at this rate. Really weak vocals again. unimpressive, coasting solely on looks. Yes, he can hold a note here and there, but take stock of the rest of the vocals -- they're just not that good. His stock is falling fast -- every week he proves more and more that he's not a real contender. And BTW, he is seriously grossing out my wife with the faces he makes. He’s becoming an even bigger cheeseball than Constantine. You could almost smell the fromage wafting from the screen. Yecch.