A Modest Proposal

12 June 2003

It is a truth universally acknowledged that there are two kinds of people: Thin People and Fat People. Thin People are good. Fat People are bad. [To see to which group the author belongs, click here.]  But now we have discovered that not only are Fat People disgusting, but they are Costing Us Money. Because they are Costing Us Money, however, we may now be able to do something about them.

It is one of the advantages of the subvention of health care by the State that matters which formerly might have been considered private can be brought within the reach of public policy. As long as payment for medical services was a matter for the individual, the individual's health was the the individual's own business. Since public agencies and employers are now expected to pay for health care, it is a public duty to be healthy. Moreover, in earlier times medical science could do little more than relieve pain, but could not effectively keep people alive indefinitely. Now that medical science has put the conquest of death within our reach, the potential consumption of resources by medicine has increased, and thus any additional burden placed on the System by Fat People is relatively much greater.

One possibility for dealing with this great threat to Society is to maintain a force of monitors and inspectors to enforce strict diets on all citizens. But such measures would prove as costly to Society as the medical care of Fat People would, and might not be effective. A more cost-effective measure might be to establish rehabilitation centers where Fat People could be maintained in a therapeutic environment and where medical personnel could more effectively maintain control over the patients. These centers would not consume much in the way of food, since the goal is to cure the Fat People who are patients there, and in addition the patients could generate revenue by healthful labor. These centers would be very inviting to Fat People, and any who do not voluntarily choose to attend may be committed there in the interests of reducing their Social Cost.

Some sentimental persons with atavistic notions may complain that this policy, in particular the component of involuntary committal, violates individual freedom. This concept must be further examined. In earlier times, perhaps, freedom might have been considered beneficial, but with the increased integration of Society, it is clear that freedom is both dangerous and costly. If people are given freedom, they will smoke, drink, overeat, and otherwise do things that will impose greater costs on Society. Freedom must be regarded as a relic of the days before the obvious benefits of Social Policy could be enjoyed. The old motto, "Give me liberty or give me death" must be rewritten, "Liberty is death." If people are to live indefinitely, as medical science will soon enable us to do, it must be a life under strict Social Control.

While this policy of concentrating Fat People in rehabilitation and reeducation centers may have some benefits, there are also dangers in it. First is the danger of recidivism; that Fat People on their discharge from the care of the rehabilitation centers will become Fat again. Furthermore, it is well documented that there is a genetic component to being Fat. Certainly part of the treatment of Fat People must be compulsory sterilization, so that they do not pass on their undesirable genetic material to future generations. What is ultimately needed, however, is a Definitive Solution (Endlösung) to the problem of Fat People. Logically, the only Definitive Solution will be termination.

When the advantages of a policy of euthanasia for Fat People are fully understood, any emotional arguments to the contrary will be of little force. After all, no one can truly love, admire, or respect a Fat Person; this natural repugnance so evident today will only increase as Society becomes more educated as to the great cost Fat People impose. No doubt many Fat People themselves will welcome this release from the miserable existence they have brought upon themselves, especially as they see that for once they are capable of being a benefit to, rather than a burden on, Society. Once the policy begins to take effect, more than just its financial benefits will be apparent. Even those who may have been initially squeamish will find themselves relieved no longer to have to look at Fat People. Society will at last be free from both an economic and an aesthetic blight.