1852 New Year's predictions feature just a hint of
sarcasm
By Frank Boyett
of The Gleaner staff
Cynicism about politics and marriage is not a recent
development, juding from a humorous article published Jan. 6, 1853, by the
Henderson Democratic Banner. At that time, newspapers tended to dwell more
on national and international news than on local news. Fictions, poetry
and humor were also staples. The Democratic Banner perhaps made a misprint
when it published the following under the headline: "Predictions for
1852." Considering that 1852 had just come to a close, though, perhaps
that was part of the joke. And it was certainly making jokes in the rest
of the article. Her are some excerpts:
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Politicians will make fools of others; and women with
pretty faces will make fools of both.
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There will be a great cry and no wook, both at the
shearing of pigs and the meeting of Congress.
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Whoever is in love will think his mistress a perfect angel
and will ony find out the truth of his suspicion by getting married.
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He who marries next year runs a great risk, especially if
he does it in a hurry.
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If hoops (hoop skirts) go out of fashion, a church pew
will hold more than three ladies.
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If dandies war their beards, there will be less work for
barbers; and he who wears mustaches will have something to sneeze at.
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Many people will drink more strong liquor than will be
necessary to keep them sober and take more medicine than will be requisite
to the enjoyment of good health.
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It is quite likely that when no business is doing, many
will be heard to complain of hard times; but it is equally certain that
all who hag themselves will escape starvation.
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Dinners and entertainments will be given to those who have
enough at home; and the poor will receive much advise gratis (free), legal
and medical excepted.
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There will be a tremendous noise all over the country when
it thunders, and tremendous dust kicked up occasionally by the coach
horses.
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On certain occasions during the year the sun will rise
before certain people discover it, and set before they have finished their
day's work.
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