I wish....
I wish that I could...
Hold him.
I wish that I could hold him close and never let him go. I wish that I could erase all the anger that lurks deep within his bright saphire eyes with one simple embrace. An embrace that would change everything between us, one that would help us to rise from the level our relationship sits at. From casual lovers to adoring partners. But maybe that would take more than just a hug. Maybe I should...
Wish...
Wish that I could...
Kiss him.
Shower him with soft butterfly kisses that would tell him exactly how I feel about him. Kisses that would explain the deep feelings that I have for him, the things that I'm not allowed to utter out loud. Maybe if I could kiss him -just like that- then words wouldn't be needed. Though sometimes a kiss fails to change the world. What if it doesn't change our world? Maybe then I should wish...
That...
That I could...
Touch him.
Caress every inch of his body with a warm caring hand. Touch him in a way that would bring him to his knees as he screamed with ecstasy. No, not scream. Never screaming. Screaming symbolises pain and he has suffered so much already. Perhaps a touch wouldn't help him to understand. I suppose...
I...
I could...
Say the words.
I could whisper them into his always listening ear. After all, he tells them to me whenever he has the chance. It should only be fair then that I return the little phrase -the one that means so much- to him. But what if he doesn't understand the full extent of my words? What if he thinks that I love him like a brother or a friend?
What if he doesn't realise that I'm *in* love with him? Perhaps...
I...
I could...
Put them all together...
I walk silently into my room and find him leaning over the balcony as he studies the greenery of Mirkwood. Smiling softly, I tilt my head to admire the picture he makes. One long pale finger twirls unconciously with a lock of golden hair as his bright blue eyes flash with curiousity and open joy at the sounds and sights of my home. His face holds an expression of complete relaxation and wonder, something that is very rare to see but that doesn't look out of place. The light of the moon plays off of his features and completes the etheral image that he makes. And suddenly I remember why I love him.
"Haldir" I call out in a voice barely above a whisper as I hold
my arms out to him, "Come here."
Looking over his shoulder at me he smiles affectionately, arching one perfect eyebrow at my odd request before slowly making his way over to where I stand. And for one simple -but not so simple- moment I hold him close to
me in a loving embrace. My beautiful elf just stands there in a bewildered but accepting kind of silence as I breathe in everything that is him and cherish every little breath he makes before I... Before I place a soft butterfly kiss on his forehead, caress one cool cheek and whisper three little words into his ear, "I love you"
And I can honestly say, as I sit here in the gardens of Lothlorien with his head in my lap -while he insists on attempting to memorise the names of all the afternoon guards- that the smile that appeared on his face that night made the last few years of sneaking around worthwhile. In fact, I think it made everything worthwhile.
And I now...
No longer...
Wish...
For...
Anything.