So, last week was the big meltdown. The giant, irrational volcano that is me finally spewed gooey emotional lava everywhere. I was on the verge of quitting work, quitting school, quitting my marriage, putting the kids I already have up for adoption (let alone adding one more) and sailing away to a desert island to live on coconuts. I've said this to enough people that they now just look at me, and, before I open my mouth, say, "Yes, Amy. We know about the coconuts." Fortunately, I happen to like my husband very much, I happen to like my kids very much, and they were easy to bring back into the picture. I don't even like coconuts.

However, I did decide to quit my job. This means I'm losing a couple thousand in income a month (ouch), and it means I'm not a "working clinical audiologist" anymore (although I'm finding I frankly don't care about losing the label), and it makes me a full-time student as opposed to an amazing juggler of responsibilities kind of lady. Actually, I may still be juggling some responsibilities, but if you already know a juggler could handle 12 flaming bowling pins of death - even if only for a short time - isn't it kind of disappointing when the juggler downsizes to 6, even if they're still flaming? Well, I think so. This is why jugglers start with 3 fluttery scarves and work up to the 12 flaming bowling pins of death. Then they do it on a unicycle. I didn't even get that far.

Still, I'm listening to Mandarin language tapes on my way to professional conferences. (If interested, check out CCAI's Cultural School - link is already in the sidebar). And I'm relaxing in geeky ways; reading books with big words and playing biofeedback meditation games (check out www.wilddivine.com sometime). Once in a while I create 3-D models for virtual reality internet games, but that has a tendency to be pretty time-consuming. I mean, I could sew a shirt in half the time it takes me to create a fake one with pixels. And the virtual one is not nearly as warm. And jazz - if it's played by the right folks - is a very good thing. So is Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie Low-Fat Frozen Yogurt - in moderation. As the reluctant Miss November last year for eDiets.com, I have an image to uphold (ha!!). Seriously, gaining weight would just be too depressing on top of everything else.

The best part of going to the Colorado Academy of Audiology's convention this year was seeing my colleague's little girl - just 4 months home from China. Five years old and spunky and happy and the most wonderful little terror you've ever seen. If you ever want to lighten up a group of "professionals," bring a 5-year-old Chinese girl into the mix and give her a paddleball with a corporate logo. Then watch as she hits all the stodgy people in the forehead with a flying rubber ball attached to an elastic. It's great fun. I admit to playing the responsible adult and saying, "Oh, my! Careful, sweetie!," and putting a hand up to "catch" the offending projectile, but secretly wanting to laugh when she managed to really bonk someone with the thing. I kind of wanted to do that, myself, with some of these folks. "So... while we compare research interests, do you mind if I whack you in the head with a rubber ball? Ah. Thanks. Xie xie. I feel much better now."