My sister, Meg, and her family were visiting this week, which was wonderful. We don't get to see them very often, since they live in Oregon and neither of us has a lot of time or money for travel. We took a trip up to Estes Park (just outside of Rocky Mountain National Park), and went inside a glassblowers shop there. I found a glass dragon in the Asian style, with swirls of color on the wings. I bought it for my dragon-girl, Eleanor Zitao, and will be hanging it on our Christmas tree this year.

I'm finding it hard to know that I won't have her home for the holidays this year. Our Heritage Adoption Services representative is taking a tour of China during December, and has kindly offered to bring Eleanor Zitao a package for us (shipping is expensive to China)! Logically, I know that we don't really have that long to wait. It just feels that way. I'm trying to concentrate on how lucky we are to be bringing her home at all.

My other sister, Beth, gave birth to her fourth child yesterday evening. Little Tyler arrived two weeks early, has lovely dimples, and weighed in at 8 pounds 6 ounces. It took only an hour of labor to bring him into the world. While I never miss the discomfort of pregnancy (I was really in a lot of pain with my last one), I do miss the security of having my baby tucked safely away inside of me. I miss the exclusivity of knowing I'm the only mother, the only one providing motherly love. I realize that is selfish.

I heard from a family who had received a referral for Zitao early this year, but had to turn it down due to issues at home that conflicted with an adoption at that time. They are relieved that Zitao will have a family, and wish us well, which was very good to hear. They sent us some additional (older) pictures of Zitao, which were a precious gift. So far attempts to get updated pictures via other visiting families have been foiled by Eleanor Zitao being in school (which is a good place to be, but not so good when you want to take her picture during the day)!

This past weekend, I painted the foyer, halls, part of the family room and the stairs, and replaced the light fixtures in the foyer and upstairs hallway. Why? Mostly to have a project, to feel productive. The carpets are being cleaned on Monday, to add to the freshening up. I have to keep busy somehow while I'm out of class over the holiday. Spending too much time thinking about my little girl will just make me crazy.

Eleanor means bright, or light. Like sunshine, or candles, or Christmas lights. Like her.