The last day has been both exhilarating and exhausting, glorious and difficult, happy and very sad. After a very gleeful day of playing with her sisters yesterday, Zitao became withdrawn at bedtime. I came to her and saw that she was on the verge of tears, and told her it was okay. She began to sob, and so I sat for a good half hour with her, just rocking while listening to a Mandarin lullaby CD. During that time, we called our guide in to ask (in better Mandarin than mine) if there was anything else besides missing her foster family that was wrong - and the answer was no. She was just very well loved by her foster parents at the orphanage, and missed them (the orphanage hires older couples to care for groups of up to 6 orphanage children in apartment-style dwellings on the orphanage grounds - Zitao was in this type of housing for the past few years). Zitao came to us in the typical multitudinous layers of clothes that many Chinese children wear. One of her layers was a sweet, peach-colored hand-knitted sweater. Her clothes were clean and her long hair brushed, and her pockets were stuffed with lollipops, and she wore a bead bracelet that I'm sure her foster family gave to her as well. So - she leaves a foster mom who obviously cared about her very much. Another good lady and her husband have taught this little girl what being in a family means, and have taught her how to love and attach. I owe them so much, and can only imagine how they'll miss her, as well. We hope to maintain contact with them somehow (giving them contact information has to be done discreetly).

After crying for a little while last night in my lap, she told me she was tired, and fell instantly asleep once in bed next to Sarah. This morning she had smiles, and ate a lot of watermelon (and not much else) at breakfast. She alternated between quiet play by herself (during which she made it clear she wished to be alone by moving away from whomever approached), and giggling with her sisters, while avoiding me most of the time. Zitao has shown us her smarts, in that she likes to watch Sarah draw and write, and is able to produce amazing copies of whatever Sarah has done. Her penmanship is wonderful for a 6-year-old, too - copying the English words Sarah writes with perfect accuracy! Despite maintaining some distance at times, she allowed me to dress her and brush her hair, and ate a good lunch. We went shopping this morning for clothes, and she had her first visit ever to a department store and her first escalator ride. While I asked her which items she liked best, Zitao just couldn't choose - just way too much new stimulation to process, I think. Her size isn't much bigger than Gennie's - and she's tiny in the waist. Shopping for pants for this girl in America will be interesting! She allowed me to hold her hand as we braved the Hefei traffic (forget pedestrian right of way in China!), but only somewhat reservedly.

This afternoon we finished the legal adoption paperwork at the Civil Affairs office. Zitao came alone with us, while Di watched Sarah and Gennie. The orphanage director was there, and Zitao cried again as the orphanage director reassured her that all would be well. It's heartbreaking to watch her grieve (it makes me cry, too, although I try to make sure she doesn't see me tear up), and yet I know it is a necessary and good thing for her to work through.

After coming back to the hotel, Zitao saw her sisters, and went back to chasing them merrily around the pillars in the hotel lobby before dinner. She ate very well at dinnertime (and laughed at the antics of another adoptee - a 20 month old - as that little one bopped her new parents on the head with a spoon), and held Dave's hand on the way back to our room. Sarah and Dave departed for a swim in the hotel pool, and I stayed with Zitao and Genevieve while they enjoyed a warm bubble bath. Zitao loves the bath, and she is her best self in there. She pretended to pour me a drink with plastic bottles and cups, and then pretended to wash the dishes with her washcloth. This was repeated several times, with her laughing as I pretended to drink the soapy water with much smacking and slurpy sounds (by the way - never actually drink tap water in China, let alone bath water!) She chattered to me in Mandarin, and laughed at her Mama trying to repeat what she said. And she said, "Gennie!" and "Bubbles!" and "All right!" and was just very, very cute. And then she gave me the best gift of my day: she came up close and put her forehead against mine, looked straight into my eyes, and grinned.

The rest of the evening went very smoothly; after I helped her into her pajamas, she followed me around with a disposable camera, and I made funny poses for her and was apparently good entertainment that way. She listened to a story (Gennie's favorite: "Bad Kitty"), and brushed her own teeth. As Gennie crawled under the covers, I saw Zitao's brow lower a little, and I said, "Shall we go watch a movie?" and her face brightened and she followed me onto my bed and pointed to a Wallace and Gromit DVD. She laid on the bed next to me (with Gennie, as Gen was NOT going to miss Wallace and Gromit when Mom was being such a terrific pushover), and Zitao fell asleep while watching.

So, I carried this sweet, tenderhearted, lovely little girl into her bed, covered her warmly, and kissed her little forehead. Today China said she's my daughter, and my heart agrees.