DR SIMMONS TWISTED
COMPUTER LINKS PAGE

BOOKMARK THE HELL OUT OF THIS PAGE.
DR SIMMONS FACE - I'M SMART AS A MOTHER FUCKER.

WELCOME TO MY TWISTED COMPUTER LINKS PAGE. THE PAGE IS TWISTED, NOT THE LINKS. I HAVE LINKS TO VARIOUS SITES RELATED TO COMPUTERS AND COMPUTER USAGE. I GOT SOME GOOD LINKS HERE. I'M SMARTER THAN A TWENTY YEAR OLD WEST VIRGINIA SIXTH GRADER SO I KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT. BUT I AINT TOO SMART THAT I CAN'T GET LAID LIKE SOME OF YOU GEEKS. I AM JUST SMART ENOUGH TO BE PRACTICAL. IF I SAY THESE LINKS ARE GOOD, THEN FUCKIN BELIEVE ME. I AINT NO COMPUTER NERD, BUT I PROVIDE YOU THESE LINKS ANYWAY. WHY - I DON'T FUCKIN KNOW, BUT I DO.

THERE IS A LOT OF BULLSHIT ON THE INTERNET. I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT CONTENT RIGHT NOW. READ THE PAGES ON THE REST OF MY SITE FOR MY VIEWS ABOUT THE DUMBFUCKS OF THE WORLD. THERE IS A LOT OF OTHER SHIT THAT MAKES THE INTERNET EXPERIENCE LESS ENJOYABLE SOMETIMES. I DON'T KNOW WHO THE ASSHOLE IS WHO INVENTED POP UP WINDOWS WHICH JUMP ON TOP OF THE PAGE YOU ARE LOOKING AT EVEN THOUGH YOU DIDN'T TRY TO GO TO THEM, BUT HE FUCKED UP THE INTERNET. A GOOD PERCENTAGE OF WEB SITES THESE DAYS ARE USING THIS BULLSHIT TO FORCE THEIR ADVERTISEMENTS DOWN WEB SURFERS' THROATS. IT'S ALRIGHT TO TRY TO MAKE MONEY, BUT WHEN YOU GET GREEDY AND RESORT TO RUINING PEEPLE'S INTERNET EXPERIENCES, THEN YOU NEED TO BE PUT IN YOUR PLACE. I PROVIDE A LINK TO A SITE OFFERING A SOLUTION TO THIS POP UP WINDOW BULLSHIT IN ORDER TO MAKE THE INTERNET A MORE PEACEFUL PLACE.

IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF PORNO PICTURES ON YOUR HARD DRIVE LIKE I DO, THEN YOU NEED A GOOD PICTURE VIEWER PROGRAM. THE ACDSEE PROGRAM FROM ACD SYSTEMS IS HIGHLY RECOMMENED BY ME. YOU CAN LOOK AT JPEG IMAGES AND MORE. EASILY MOVE FROM DIRECTORY TO DIRECTORY TO VIEW PICTURE AFTER PICTURE. YOU CAN SEE THUMBNAILS OF EACH PICTURE TO DECIDE IF YOU WANT A CLOSER LOOK AT THE TIME. YOU CAN LOOK AT EACH PICTURE IN A DIRECTORY IN SEQUENCE (A DIRECTORY IS OTHERWISE KNOWN AS A FOLDER FOR YOU DUMBFUCKS THAT DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT COMPUTERS EXCEPT THE AWKWARD, CUTSEY TERMINOLOGY THAT MICROSOFT WINDOWS CONDESCENDINGLY SPOONFEEDS YOU.) SOMETIMES I USE THE PROGRAM FOR MOVING AROUND NON PICTURE FILES WITH ITS FILE COMMANDS (COPY, MOVE, RENAME, DELETE, ETC) WHICH WORK ON PICTURE AND NON PICTURE FILES ALIKE. I OFTEN USE THAT INSTEAD OF WINDOWS EXPLORER TO MOVE AROUND MY DRECTORIES.

I PROVIDE A LINK TO A COMPANY CALLED TUCOWS BECAUSE TWO COWS IS BETTER THAN ONE. THEY RATE SOFTWARE PROGRAMS IN TERMS OF ITS VALUE IN COWS. THEY ALSO PROVIDE DOMAIN NAME REGISTRATION.

I ALSO PROVIDE THE LINK TO THE OFFICIAL WINZIP SITE SO THAT YOU CAN UNCOMPRESS SOME OF THE SHIT THAT YOU DOWNLOAD FROM THE INTERNET. SOME OF THE PORNO SHIT THAT I DOWNLOAD IS COMPRESSED IN ZIP FILES. MANY SHAREWARE PROGRAMS THAT I DOWNLOAD ARE IN ZIP FORMAT. USE WINZIP TO UNZIP THEM. WINZIP IS PRACTICAL AS A MOTHER FUCKER. THEN AGAIN, SO AM I.

ACD SYSTEMS — THEY SELL THE ACDSEE PICTURE VIEWER SO YOU CAN LOOK AT PORNO PICTURES AND OTHER SHIT. THEY ALSO SELL OTHER RELATED SOFTWARE.

WINZIP — FILE COMPRESSION DECOMPRESSION PROGRAM. UNZIP THE SHIT THAT YOU DOWNLOAD FROM THE INTERNET.

ROCKETDOWNLOAD — DOWNLOAD GAMES AND OTHER SHIT.

WINSITE.COM — DOWNLOAD GAMES AND OTHER SHIT ALSO.

DOWNLOAD.COM — SOFTWARE TO DOWNLOAD IN VARIOUS CATEGORIES.

TUCOWS — NOT TWO COWS. THAT'S GARY LARSON AND THE FAR SIDE. THIS SITE HAS SOFTWARE TO DOWNLOAD TOO.

5 STAR SHAREWARE — MORE CATEGORIES OF SOFTWARE TO DOWNLOAD. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? GET TO IT!

COMPUSA — BUY A COMPUTER SO THAT YOU CAN GO TO MY WEB SITE. MAKE SURE THAT YOU GET A HUGE HARD DRIVE SO THAT YOU HAVE PLENTY OF ROOM FOR PORNOGRAPHY.

THIEFWARE — SET UP TO FIGHT COMPANIES THAT USE ABUSIVE UNETHICAL ADVERTISING SOFTWARE PROGRAMS ON THE INTERNET

PANICWARE — POP UP WINDOW STOPPER AND FILE CLEANING. CLEAN THOSE DIRTY FILES UP SO YOUR WIFE OR YOUR MOMMA DOESN'T SEE WHAT YOU WERE DOING ON THE COMPUTER LAST NIGHT.

SCUMWARE — THEY HATE SOFTWARE THAT RIPS OFF WEBMASTERS AND TAKES ADVANTAGE OF THE NAIVE CONSUMERS WHO INSTALL THEM. FUCK GATOR.COM AND ALL THEIR EVIL BROTHERS.

MAILWASHER — GO TO THIS SITE IF YOU GET TOO MUCH FUCKIN E-MAIL SPAM.

NETSCAPE — THE PRE AOL VERSION OF THE NETSCAPE BROWSER IS BETTER THAN INTERNET EXPLORER AND OPERA SOFTWARE BROWSER AND OTHER WEB BROWSERS THAT I'VE TRIED.

DR SIMMONS WEAKLY COLLUM

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