DR SIMMONS TWISTED
HUMOR LINKS PAGE

I DARE YOU TO BOOKMARK ME!
DR SIMMONS FACE SIDEWAYS - WHO KNOCKED ME OVER? AND WHERE IS MY BODY?

I AM DR SIMMONS, THE FAMOUS TWISTED MENTAL HEALTH THERAPIST AND THIS IS MY HUMOR LINKS PAGE. I HAVE LINKS TO SOME GREAT COMEDY SITES. YOU CAN VISIT COMEDY CENTRAL WHERE THEY HAVE WEB PAGES FOR THEIR VARIOUS SHOWS SUCH AS SOUTHPARK, BATTLEBOTS, STRANGERS WITH CANDY, AND THE MAN SHOW WITH JIMMY KIMMEL AND ADAM COROLLA.

ONE OF MY FAVORITE COMEDIANS IS GALLAGHER. GALLAGHER IS THE BALDING KNUCKLEHEAD THAT BREAKS WATERMELONS WITH A SLEDGE HAMMER AND TELLS JOKES ABOUT IT AND FUCKIN SMILES THE WHOLE TIME. HE HAS SUCH A GREAT DELIVERY. HE COMES UP WITH SOME SHIT THAT HE MUST BE ON LSD TO COME UP WITH. OR HE HAS TOO MUCH FRICKEN TIME ON HIS HANDS.

IN 2000, GALLAGHER WON A LAWSUIT AGAINST HIS BROTHER WHO WAS IMITATING HIS COMEDY ACT. AT THE TRIAL, THERE WAS ALL KINDS OF FOOD BEING THROWN. THE COURT ROOM WAS A MESS. EVEN THE JUDGE GOT INVOLVED WITH THE FOOD FIGHT. WHENEVER THE BROTHERS GALLAGHER WERE GETTING OUT OF CONTROL, HE WOULD BREAK A WATERMELON WITH HIS GAVEL TO GET THEM TO BEHAVE. THE JURY HAD TO BRING TRASH BAGS TO COVER UP. GALLAGHER WON THE LAWSUIT, SO HIS BROTHER CAN NO LONGER IMITATE HIS ACT. NOW GALLAGHER CAN SMASH WATERMELONS AND OTHER FOOD ITEMS IN PEACE. I HAVE A LINK TO HIS OFFICIAL WEBSITE. GO HERE TO SEE ALL THE SMASHED WATERMELONS.

OR GO TO JOKELAND.COM WHICH IS JACKIE MARTLING'S HOMEPAGE. JACKIE IS THE CRAZY PARTYING JOKESTER FROM THE HOWARD STERN SHOW. I WANT TO FUCK THE HELL OUT OF HIS WIFE, NANCY SIRIANNI. I WANT TO MAKE HER MOAN AND GROAN LIKE A WOMAN POSESSED. IF I FUCKED HER IN FRONT OF JACKIE, HE WOULD PROBABLY BE TELLING JOKES ABOUT IT THE WHOLE TIME. THAT IS HIS NATURE.

SOME OF YOU MIGHT CRITICIZE ME AND SAY THAT I BIASEDLY ONLY LIST LINKS TO HUMORISTS THAT I LIKE. WELL, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT? YOU MUST BE A REAL SIMPLE DUMBFUCK IF YOU THINK I'M GONNA GIVE YOU LINKS TO COMEDIANS THAT I DON'T THINK ARE FUNNY.

BUT IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR SITES OF STUFF THAT I DON'T THINK IS FUNNY OR THAT I DON'T HAVE LISTED HERE, THEN YOU ARE NOT OUTTA LUCK. I PROVIDE SEVERAL HUMOR LINK SITES AND SEVERAL HUMOR SEARCH ENGINES. CAUSE I'M OPEN MINDED AND I RECOGNIZE THAT EVERYONE'S TASTE IN HUMOR IS DIFFERENT.

I HAVE SEVERAL LINKS TO SITES WITH PSYCHOLOGY HUMOR. I AM A MENTAL HEALTH THERAPIST; SO I KNOW THAT STUFF ABOUT MENTALLY SCREWED UP PEEPLE IS FUNNY. (THAT IS ABOUT ALL I GOT OUT OF MY PSYCHOLOGY CLASSES.)

I ALSO HAVE SOME LINKS TO PERSONAL HOMEPAGES BECAUSE THERE ARE SOME AVERAGE JOES AND JOANNAS ON THE INTERNET THAT ARE QUITE FUNNY. THAT IS HOW I JUDGE THE SITES THAT I INCLUDE IN MY LINKS PAGE. SOME OF THESE SITES HAVE DIRTY JOKES ON THEM. MORE POWER TO THEM.

I HAVE A LINK TO DR ELMO'S TWISTED PAGE. HE'S THE GUY THAT SINGS GRANDMA GOT RUN OVER BY A REINDEER. THAT IS THE BEST CHRISTMAS SONG EVER. I HATE CHRISTMAS MUSIC IN GENERAL. IT IS USUALLY SOME SAPPY SHIT SUNG WITH NO ENERGY AND OFTEN INVOLVES RELIGION. I ALSO HAVE THE WEB ADDRESS OF RED PETERS. HE DOES THAT SONG HOW'S YOUR HOLE? MY DOG RETARD LIKES THE SONG HE DID ABOUT HIS DOG, STAINS.

I HAVE A LINK TO A SAM KINISON TRIBUTE SITE SET UP BY HIS BROTHER, BILL. SAM KINISON HAD ONE OF THE BEST STAND UP PRESENTATIONS IN THE COMEDY INDUSTRY, EVER. YOU HAVE TO SEE HIS ACT ON FILM. READING HIS WORDS JUST AINT ENOUGH. I MISS HIM ON THE COMEDY SCENE. (HE DIED IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T FUCKIN FIGURED IT OUT YET.) IF I CAN PROVIDE THIS LINK TO YOU, THEN I CAN DO ANYTHING. FEEL MY POWER!

COMEDY CENTRAL — SEE GREAT SHOWS LIKE THE MAN SHOW, SOUTHPARK, STRANGERS WITH CANDY, THE DAILY SHOW, AND WIN BEN STEIN'S MONEY AMONG OTHERS.

MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATRE 3000 — KNUCKLEHEAD GUY AND SILLY ROBOTS WATCH CHEEZY MOVIES AND TALK SHIT ABOUT THEM WHILE THE MOVIE PLAYS.

CHEECHANDCHONG.COM — FAN SITE DEDICATED TO THOSE FUNNY MARIWANNA SMOKING DUDES AND THEIR MOVIES. CHEECH AND CHONG HAVE DONE SO MANY GOOD MOVIES. THEY STARRED IN UP IN SMOKE, STILL SMOKING, NICE DREAMS, AFTER HOURS, CHEECH AND CHONG'S NEXT MOVIE. THEY ALWAYS BEAT THE SYSTEM SOMEHOW EVEN THOUGH THEY NEVER KNEW THAT THEY WERE GOING UP AGAINST THE SYSTEM. I SOMETIMES CALL THEM CHEECH AND BONG BECAUSE OF ALL THE DOPE THAT THEY SMOKE IN THEIR MOVIES. THAT IS PRETTY CLEVER OF ME.

GALLAGHER SMASH — GALLAGHER JUST LOVES TO PLAY WITH HIS FOOD. HE SHOPS AT "SLEDGE HAMMERS R US". THERE ARE SONG CLIPS OF HIM SINGING.

THE AMAZING JONATHAN'S CHEAP THRILLS PAGE — THE AMAZING JONATHAN IS A FUNNY COMEDIAN WITH SOME MAGIC IN HIS ACT. HIS SITE HAS SOME SICK JOKES TOO.

NICK DIPAOLO — NICK DIPAOLO IS AN URBAN COMEDIAN THAT IS PISSED OFF JUST LIKE MOST CITY PEEPLE BECAUSE CITY LIFE BASICALLY SUCKS. HE NEEDS TO MOVE OUT TO THE COUNTRY OR SOMETHING.

LAURA KIGHTLINGER — THIS BABE THINKS SHE PROBABLY SHOULD BE IN A BAD MARRIAGE BY NOW INSTEAD OF JUST A BAD RELATIONSHIP. SHE'S A SWEETHEART. I WANT TO FUCK HER AND DIRTY HER UP. I WANT TO COME ON HER FACE AND LICK HER BELLY BUTTON.

JOAN RIVERS — JOAN RIVERS ALWAYS HAS SOMETHING NICE TO SAY ABOUT OTHERS, BUT SHE WILL USUALLY SAY SOMETHING MEAN AND INSENSITIVE INSTEAD.

WENDY LIEBMAN — WENDY LEIBMAN IS A SLIGHTLY TWISTED COMEDIAN, OR IS IT COMEDIANETTE. SHE HAS A POINTED CHIN LIKE A FUCKIN WHICH - OR IS IT SPELLED WICH? WHO AM I TO KNOW? I'M NOT A GOOD SPELR. ALL I KNOW IS THAT I WANT TO SCREW HER. AND SUCK ON HER TITTIES.

RICHARD PRYOR — THIS IS A RICHARD PRYOR FAN SITE. RICHARD PRYOR BURNED UP THE COMEDY SCENE BACK IN THE SEVENTIES AND EIGHTIES. THEN HE BURNED HIMSELF UP IN SOME FREAKISH SELF-IMPOSED INCIDENT OF HUMOROUS STUPIDITY. DRUGS WILL DO THAT TO YOU SOMETIMES.

RICHARD JENI — THE OFFICIAL RICHARD JENI HOMEPAGE. CHECK OUT THE BLUNT COMEDY.

JEFF FOXWORTHY — JEFF FOXWORTHY OFFICIAL HOMEPAGE. YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF YOU GO TO HIS SITE.

CARROT TOP — STRANGE ORANGE HAIRED COMEDIAN. HORNY WOMEN WONDER WHETHER THE CURTAINS MATCH THE DRAPES.

MITCH HEDBERG — COMEDIAN THAT ACTS LIKE A STONER. HE HAS SOUND CLIPS AT HIS SITE IN REAL AUDIO FORMAT. I GUESS HE AINT INTO THAT FAKE AUDIO SHIT.

LEWIS BLACK — THIS ANGRY ANIMATED COMEDIAN WILL TELL YOU LIKE IT IS. HE LOVES TO INSULT POLITICIANS.

MARY ELLEN HOOPER'S OFFICIAL WEBSITE — IN HER ACT SHE TALKS ABOUT SHAVING HER "TARANTULA". I HATE IT WHEN WOMEN SHAVE THEIR TARANTULAS (OR BEAVERS FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT NEED MAMMAL METAPHORS IN ORDER TO UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE IS SAYING THERE.) I LIKE WOMEN'S CLAMS TO BE BEARDED IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN AND SOME OF YOU DUMBFUCKS PROBABLY DON'T.

HARLAND WILLIAMS — THE OFFICIAL WEBSITE OF HARLAND WILLIAMS, STANDUP COMEDIAN AND COMEDY ACTOR THAT HAS HOSTED PREMIUM BLEND ON COMEDY CENTRAL. THIS SITE REQUIRES JAVA SCRIPT TO WORK PROPERLY. HARLAND WILLIAMS DOES SOME GOOD IMPRESSIONS. LISTEN TO HIM DO HIS CHEWBACCA IMPRESSION. I SAID DO IT.

REDD FOXX — DIRTY MOUTHED COMEDIAN AND STAR OF SANFORD AND SON

DENNIS MILLER LIVE — OFFICIAL SITE OF THE DENNIS MILLER SHOW ON HBO. THEY PROVIDE A LOT OF HIS MATERIAL ON THIS SITE. THAT IS GREAT. I HATE WHEN SOME SITES DON'T GIVE YOU SHIT AS FAR AS SAMPLES SO YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL THEY ARE LIKE. HERE THEY GIVE YOU A LOT OF MATERIAL.

JOKELAND.COM — JACKIE MARTLING'S JOKELAND. JACKIE MARTLING WAS THE HEAD WRITER ON THE HOWARD STERN SHOW. HE WROTE ABOUT GUYS GETTING HEAD.

RODNEY.COM — THE OFFICIAL WEBSITE OF RODNEY DANGERFIELD. GIVE HIM SOME FUCKIN RESPECT.

STEVEN WRIGHT — STEVEN WRIGHT IS A COMEDIAN WITH AN ULTRA QUIET DELIVERY. MAYBE HE'S JUST STONED.

DEFENDING THE CAVEMAN — ROB BECKER HAS AN EXCELLENT HUMOROUS PORTRAYAL OF THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE SEXES. (MEN AND WOMEN YOU DUMBFUCKS)

HENNY YOUNGMAN — AFTER MANY YEARS IN COMEDY, SEVEN DECADES, HE BECAME HENNY OLD MAN. THEN HE CROAKED AND BECAME HENNY DEADMAN.

GREG PROOPS OFFICIAL HOMEPAGE — GREG PROOPS, NOT GREG POOPS. THIS AINT NO SCATOLOGY SITE. GREG PROOPS IS A COMEDIAN WHO APPEARS IN WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?

JIM DAVID'S HOMEPAGE — SITE OF THE FORMER SOUTHERNER COMEDIAN, JIM DAVID

SAMKINISON.ORG — SAM KINISON SITE SET UP BY HIS BROTHER, BILL TO PAY TRIBUTE TO HIM POSTHUMOROUSLY.

GEORGE CARLIN OFFICIAL SITE — GEORGE CARLIN TALKS ABOUT THE SEVEN BAD WORDS OR PHRASES THAT YOU CAN'T FUCKIN SAY ON THE AIR. IF THAT SHIT INTERESTS YOU, THEN GO HERE.

COMEDY CITY — COMEDIANS AND OTHER SHIT

A WHITNEY BROWN WEB PAGE — A FUNNY TWISTED GUY. HE HAS SOME GOOD STUFF TO SAY. I MISS SEEING HIM ON THE DAILY SHOW. HE WAS ALSO ON SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE BEFORE THAT.

THE ADAM CAROLLA FAN CLUB — ADAM CAROLLA IS THE FUNNY KNUCKLEHEAD FROM LOVELINE ON MTV AND THE MAN SHOW ON COMEDY CENTRAL.

THE MISANTHROPIC BITCH — THE MISANTHROPIC BITCH RANTS AND RAVES AND CHEWS PEEPLE OUT WITH HER SATIRE AND CONFUSED ANGER, AND IT IS VIRTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO AVOID GETTING ON HER BAD SIDE.

THE BEST PAGE IN THE UNIVERSE — THIS GUY MADDOX IS QUITE A CHARACTER. HE LIKES TO BITCH ABOUT ALL KINDS OF THINGS IN HIS SATIRICAL STYLE. I THINK I'M GONNA TRY TO HOOK HIM UP WITH THE MISANTHROPIC BITCH. THEY'D MAKE A GREAT COUPLE.

JOURNAL OF POLYMORPHOUS PERVERSITY — PSYCHOLOGY HUMOR

UNIVERSITY OF PENNSYLVANIA PSYCHOLOGY HUMOR — MORE PSYCHOLOGY HUMOR. HUMOR ABOUT PSYCHOLOGICALLY SCREWED UP INDIVIDUALS IS FUNNY.

THE OFFICIAL PEANUTS WEBSITE — CHARLIE BROWN, LUCY, LINUS, PIG PEN, SNOOPY, WOODSTOCK, FRANKLIN, MARCIE, SALLY, SCHROEDER, RERUN, PEPPERMINT PATTY, CREATED BY THE LATE CHARLES SCHULTZ.

GIBBLEGUTS — CARTOON HUMOR

SPUNGIFEEL COMICS — MORE CARTOON HUMOR

NONE MORE COMIC — CARTOON SERIES AND MORE

CURTOONS — CARTOONS BY SOME DUDE WITH A LUSCIOUS LOOKING WIFE

JOKEADAY.COM — JOKES, FUNNY PICTURES AND MORE. YOU CAN HAVE HUMOR E-MAILED TO YOU DAILY.

THE CANONICAL LIST OF POLISH JOKES — MANY POLISH JOKES. HOW MANY POLAKS DOES IT TAKE TO BRING YOU THIS LINK?

DEAR DANNO — SCREWED UP ADVICE AND MORE.

ERIC CONVEYS AN EMOTION — IT'S SELF EXPLANATORY, BUT THEN AGAIN IT'S NOT.

HARTFELT'S JOKE FACTORY — HAS SOME BLONDE JOKES AND OTHER HUMOR

LOONIE BIN OF JOKES — ADULT HUMOR, CARTOONS, PICTURES, MPEGs, LINKS. THE SITE HAS MANY MANY JOKES LISTED BY CATEGORY.

DISGUST IS A MUST! — JOKES AND OTHER FUNNY SHIT.

VIRTUAL HELL — THIS GUY THINKS HE'S A DEVIL OR THE DEVIL. HE HAS TO SPEND THE REST OF ETERNITY WITH ADOLPH HITLER.

AMAZING PREHISTORIC DOGS — THIS GUY STUDIES DINOSAUR DOGS. ONE SPECIES EVEN GLOWS IN THE DARK.

PLATINUM JOKES — JOKES AND OTHER STUFF

THE TOPLESS BEACH — HAS A LOT OF JOKES AND OTHER HUMOR.

JimJr's CLASSY CLASSIC COLLECTIBLE JOKES — JOKES AND OTHER HUMOROUS STUFF ARRANGED BY CATEGORY.

FUNNIGURL — WOMAN HUMOR AND MORE BY A WOMAN. SOME ADULT HUMOR

KK WISE'S PAGE OF USELESS STUFF. — SOME FUNNY STUFF FROM WHAT APPEARS TO BE A COMPUTER NERD.

SNOWSURFER.ORG — HUMOROUS COLLECTION OF STUFF. HE FINDS WEIRD SHIT TO POST OR TALK ABOUT. HE HANGS AROUND THE BATHTUB GIRL, WHOEVER THE HELL THAT IS..

MORTYS TWISTED WORLD — ADULT HUMOR, JOKES, PICTURES AND OTHER SHIT. ADULTS ONLY.

I LOVE BACON — "JUVENILE HUMOR FOR GROWNUPS" A FUCKIN WEIRD SITE WITH A LOT OF OFFENSIVE MISCELLANEOUS SHIT.

PSYCHOPATHETIC — WHERE COMEDY COMES TO DIE. STICKMEN AND OTHER SHIT.

THE SHIT PILE!! — THESE GUYS MAKE FUN OF WOMEN DRIVERS WITH WORDS AND PICTURES. THEY HAVE OTHER "SHITTY" HUMOR TOO. READ THEIR POEMS. THEY HAVE A POETIC SENSE OF HUMOR.

PUN OF THE DAY — PUNS THAT WILL MAKE YOU GROAN.

HUMORSPACE — HUMOR THAT CAN BE RATED "G" OR RATED "X" OR ANYWHERE IN BETWEEN.

JOKE POST — MANY DIFFERENT CATEGORIES OF JOKES

JOKES HUMOR AND OTHER FUN STUFFS — HAS JOKES AND FUNNY TRUE STORIES.

LAUGH A MINUTE — JOKES AND NON FICTIONAL HUMOUR

IT'S THE BENNY HILL PAGE — GREAT BRITISH COMEDY GUY WHO IS NO LONGER WITH US. AT LEAST HE IS NOT WITH ME. THAT MUCH I KNOW.

THE ABBOTT AND COSTELLO HOME PAGE — I USED TO WATCH THEM EVERY SUNDAY WHEN I WAS A YOUNG LAD.

STOOGE LOVERS — SITE ABOUT THE THREE STOOGES. ACTUALLY THERE WERE SIX OF THEM AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER. ALL BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER AND CAUSING TROUBLE FOR EVERYONE ELSE.

GROUCHO-MARX.COM — GROUCHO MARX FAN SITE. GROUCHO HAS SOME FUNNY SHIT. HE PERFORMED IN MANY MOVIES, MOST WITH THE OTHER MARX BROTHERS: HARPO, CHICO, ZEPPO, AND KARL.

INSPECTOR CLOUSEAU — A TRIBUTE SITE TO PETER SELLERS'S CHARACTERS IN THE PINK PANTHER FILMS

FARTS.COM — WHILE WE ARE AT IT, LET'S CELEBRATE THE FART. THIS SITE HAS EVERYTHING FOR THE FART ENTHUSIAST INCLUDING FART DIET INFORMATION AND FART PRODUCTS. THIS SITE ALLUDES TO BACTERIA FARTING PRODUCING GAS IN HUMANS. WHAT? IF BACTERIA FARTING IS RESPONSIBLE FOR HUMANS FARTING, THEN WHAT IS RESPONSIBLE FOR BACTERIA FARTING?

DR ELMO'S TWISTED MUSIC PAGE — DR ELMO SINGS GRANDMA GOT RUN OVER BY A REINDEER. I SING IT TOO WHEN I HEAR IT ON THE RADIO.

RED PETERS — A MUSICAL GUY WITH A RED PETER AND BLUE BALLS SINGS ABOUT HIS HOLE FAMILY.

WEIRD AL YANKOVIC — A CURLY HAIRED GUY WHO LOOKS LIKE A GIRL AND A LITTLE LIKE GALLAGHER SINGS PARODIES OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS - AND PARODIES OF SONGS THAT YOU HATE TOO.

COMEDY ZONE — HUMOR LINKS AND MORE, MANY LINKS TO STAND UP COMEDIANS

HUMORSOURCE — LINKS TO DIFFERENT CATEGORIES OF HUMOR RELATED SITES.

PBBT.COM — EXTENSIVE HUMOR DIRECTORY

WEB WWWEIRDNESS — DIRECTORY OF WEIRD HUMOROUS SITES

4 A LAUGH — HUMOR DIRECTORY. SITES ARE LISTED BY THE SUBJECT MATTER OF THE HUMOR.

BRAIN DAMAGE 3.0 — A UNIQUELY CATEGORIZED DIRECTORY OF BIZARRE AND INTERESTING SITES.

HUMOR FAVORITE SITES — LINKS TO A WIDE VARIETY OF HUMOR SITES

HUMORSEARCH — HUMOR SEARCH ENGINE. SEARCH FOR FUNNY SHIT YOURSELF.

HUMORSEEK — ANOTHER HUMOR SEARCH ENGINE.

OR YOU CAN SEARCH HUMORLINKS DATABASE OF HUMOR SITES.


Humor Links

BARNESANDNOBLE.COM IS CARRYING MY BOOK, ABNORMAL PEEPLE — DIAGNOSIS AND TREATMENT. THE BOOK IS A PARODY OF ABNORMAL PSYCHOLOGY AND SELF HELP BOOKS, AND USES TWISTED HUMOR, CONTROVERSIAL IDEAS, AND ADULT LANGUAGE AND TOPICS. IT IS MEANT FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. DON'T DO ANYTHING ELSE WITH IT!

BARNESANDNOBLE.COM — "ABNORMAL PEEPLE — DIAGNOSIS AND TREATMENT"

ABNORMAL PEEPLE — HERE I PROVIDE SEVERAL EXCERPTS, THE INTRODUCTORY CHAPTER, AND A TABLE OF CONTENTS FOR YOUR BROWSING PLEASURE.

DR SIMMONS WEAKLY COLLUM

PARODY PAGES

TWISTED WORD FINDS

THE ANTI CIRCUMCISION BABY

DR SIMMONS TWISTED LINKS PAGE

DR SIMMONS MAIN PAGE

COPYRIGHT © 2000 - 2004 DR SIMMONS ALL RIGHTS RESERVED