DR SIMMONS TWISTED
HOMEPAGE MAIN PAGE

MAKE A COMMITMENT! BOOKMARK ME!

THIS IS THE OFFICIAL WEBSITE OF PUBLISHED HUMOR WRITER AND LOVABLE MISANTHROP, DOCTER ARTEUS SIMMONS. DR SIMMONS IS THE AUTHOR OF THE BOOK, ABNORMAL PEEPLE — DIAGNOSIS AND TREATMENT. THE BOOK IS AVAILABLE THROUGH BARNESANDNOBLE.COM. WE PROVIDE A LINK BELOW.

THIS SITE IS FAMILY FRIENDLY - IF YOU ARE A FAMILY OF DEVIANTS AND SICKOS. THIS SITE ESPOUSES TRADITIONAL VALUES : SEX, MONEY, FARTING, DRINKING, PARTYING, AND TASTELESS ADULT HUMOR. IT WAS CREATED TO INTRODUCE YOU TO DOCTER SIMMONS AND HIS WRITINGS. DR SIMMONS IS A NONCONFORMIST WITH A UNIQUE SENSE OF HUMOR WHICH SOME PEEPLE THINK IS QUITE TWISTED. EVEN HE THINKS IT'S QUITE TWISTED. DR SIMMON'S LIKES TO PARODY REALITY SINCE THAT IS THE ONLY WAY HE CAN DEAL WITH IT.

IN HIS SATIRICAL STYLE, HE WRITES ABOUT SEX, BABES, BEER, PORNOGRAPHY, CURRENT EVENTS, ABNORMAL PSYCHOLOGY, FARTING AND OTHER ADULT TOPICS. AND HE LIKES TO CUSS A LOT. BELOW WE PROVIDE LINKS TO SOME EXCERPTS FROM HIS BOOK. HE HAS ALSO AGREED TO WRITE A WEB COLUMN FOR THIS SITE FOR THE NEXT SEVERAL YEARS OR SO. YOU CAN CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW TO GO TO HIS "WEAKLY COLLUM". DR SIMMONS WRITES IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS BECAUSE HE LIKES WRITING IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS. LEARN TO ENJOY IT!

THIS SITE IS FOR ADULTS ONLY. THE CONTENT OF DR SIMMON'S WRITINGS IS OFTEN OF AN ADULT NATURE. HE SPEAKS HIS MIND AND USES A LOT OF CUSS WORDS; SO DON'T GO TO THESE PAGES UNLESS THAT IS WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR. ALL INFORMATION ON ANY OF THESE PAGES IS COPYRIGHTED BY DR SIMMONS. THIS IS ACTUALLY ME WRITING THIS. WHY AM I TALKING ABOUT MYSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON? HAVEN'T A CLUE.

I'M GONNA START WRITING IN FIRST PERSON NOW. ME - I AM THE FIRST PERSON. I AM GLAD TO BE WRITING FOR YOU ALL. WHEN I WRITE, IN ESSENCE, I AM CELEBRATING MYSELF. I AM CELEBRATING MY MIND WITH MY WORDS. AND I THINK THAT THIS IS SO WONDERFUL. READ MY WRITINGS AND CELEBRATE ME. READ MY WRITINGS AND GIVE ME THE ATTENTION AND THE FAME THAT I DESERVE. COME ON! DO IT!

I WRITE FROM AN AMERICACENTRIC PERSPECTIVE, NOT BECAUSE I SEE INDIVIDUAL AMERICANS AS BEING SUPERIOR TO FOREIGN INDIVIDUALS. I'VE MET A LOT OF FOREIGNERS WHOM I'VE VALUE HIGHLY AND I MET A FEW AMERICANS THAT ARE PURE SCUM. I JUDGE EVERYONE INDIVIDUALLY. I WRITE FROM AN AMERICACENTRIC BECAUSE I LIVE HERE IN AMERICA. IT'S THAT SIMPLE. THAT'S HOW MY MIND WORKS.

THIS SITE IS OPTIMIZED FOR PEEPLE WITH SICK MINDS.

WEAKLY COLLUM — HERE I BITCH AND WHINE AND RANT ABOUT WHATEVER I FEEL LIKE COMPLAINING ABOUT EACH WEEK. I CAN BE MEAN AND I CUSS A LOT. I HAVE A NEW WEB COLUMN EACH AND EVERY WEEK. AND IT IS TOTALLY FREE.

DR SIMMONS WEB BIO — GET TO KNOW ME.

DR SIMMONS WRITING STYLE PAGE — HOW I FRICKEN WRITE. UNDERSTAND THE WRITER INSIDE OF THE WRITER.

LET'S CELEBRATE ME — I SAID DO IT.

AUTHORS AGAINST READING — FOUNDED BY ME. THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH READING PENNSYLVANIA.

DR SIMMONS CHARITY PAGE — I'M A VERY CHARITABLE PERSON.

FAMOUS WOMEN THAT DR SIMMONS WANTS TO DO — I'LL GET LUCKY WITH ONE OF THEM SOMEDAY.

RETARD'S PAGE — VISIT MY DOG'S HOMEPAGE.

DR SIMMONS TWISTED WEBRINGS PAGE — GO CHECK OUT THE WEBRINGS THAT I BELONG TO.

THE ANTI CIRCUMCISION BABY — HE HATES CIRCUMCISION.

PARODY PAGES — PARODY DONE BY A SICK MIND. (POLITICS, RELIGION, AND MORE)

DR SIMMONS TWISTED GAMES PAGE — HAVE SOME FUN.

DR SIMMONS SINGS KAROKE. — THE SONG CLIPS CAN BE PLAYED WITH REAL PLAYER, WINDOWS MEDIA PLAYER OR ANOTHER MEDIA PLAYER.

I PROVIDE A SITE MAP SO THAT YOU CAN
FIND THE PAGES YOU WANT EASIER.
SITE MAP

YOU ARE ALLOWED TO LINK TO ME IF YOU LIKE.
THE SITE IS AT : http://home.comcast.net/~iloveme/

THIS GREAT SITE WAS BORN ON
SATURDAY NOVEMBER 27, 1999.

IN ORDER TO HELP GUIDE YOU ON YOUR INTERNET TRAVELS, DR SIMMONS HAS CREATED SEVERAL LINKS PAGES FOR YOUR SURFING PLEASURE. FOLLOW THE LINK BELOW.

DR SIMMONS TWISTED LINKS PAGE

Free JavaScripts provided by
The JavaScript Source
YOU CAN MOVE THE EYES OVER
TOP THE EYES IN MY PICTURE. OR
PLAY WITH THEM HOWEVER YOU WANT.

TOPLAUGHS.COM
Top 100 Joke Sites

BACK TO MY INTRO PAGE

THE SITE THAT CELEBRATES CAPITAL LETTERS BY THE MAN THAT CELEBRATES CAPITAL LETTERS.

COPYRIGHT © 1999 - 2008 DR SIMMONS ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
THIS INCLUDES INTERNET RIGHTS.