WEAKLY COLLUMS 2000
WEAKLY COLLUMS FOR 2000
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0006 — 01/03/2000 : Y2K DESTROYED MY WEAKLY COLLUM; NEW YEARS CELEBRATIONS AROUND THE WORLD.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0007 — 01/10/2000 : MY DOG RETARD; CIRCUMCISION IS DONE FOR MONEY.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0008 — 01/17/2000 : LINDA TRIPP; MADONNA; I HATE POKEMON.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0009 — 01/24/2000 : CELINE DION PREGNANCY RUMORS; PRIMATE CLONING; THE HEAVILY OVERHYPED ELIAN GONZALEZ STORY; DR SIMMONS PISSING ON THE TOILET SEAT.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0010 — 01/31/2000 : ELIAN GONZALEZ'S GRANDMOTHERS; MIAMI SUCKS; DUMB SNOW PLOWERS.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0011 — 02/07/2000 : HORNY CATHOLIC PRIESTS GETTING AIDS AND MOLESTING CHILDREN; ELIAN GONZALEZ AGAIN.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0012 — 02/14/2000 : MARS POLAR LANDER AND IT'S RELATION TO ELIAN GONZALEZ; WWF - WORLD WRESTLING FOOTBALL.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0013 — 02/21/2000 : ROSIE O'DONNELL VS ROSIE 105 FM; DR SIMMONS GETTING DRUNK ON OLYMPIA BEER WHILE WRITING WEAKLY COLLUM.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0014 — 02/28/2000 : MICROSOFT'S NEW OPERATING SYSTEM; ASTRONAUTS TRYING TO MAP THE EARTH; JENNIFER LOPEZ'S REVEALING DRESS AT ACADEMY AWARDS.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0015 — 03/06/2000 : SOME PSYCHOTIC BITCH THAT DR SIMMONS FUCKS; HILLARY CLINTON AND AL GORE KISSING.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0016 — 03/13/2000 : SNUCK ALCOHOL INTO COFFEE BAR; LADY WALKING AROUND WITH A KNIFE IN HER NECK.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0017 — 03/20/2000 : DR SIMMONS AND RETARD DRINKING A LOT OF BEER; POPE APOLOGIZING FOR CATHOLIC CHURCH SINS OF PAST; PETA CAMPAIGN TO GET COLLEGE STUDENTS DRINKING BEER INSTEAD OF MILK. (I'M NOT MAKING THIS SHIT UP.)
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0018 — 03/27/2000 : EVIL DR LAURA APOLOGIZES FOR HATING GAYS; GUY KILLED BY TRUCK AFTER PRAYING ON HIGHWAY.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0019 — 04/03/2000 : GREASEMAN NOT ABLE TO GO BACK ON THE AIR; HOWARD STERN; G GORDON LIDDY; HOW NOT TO USE A VACUUM CLEANER.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0020 — 04/10/2000 : EROTIC ARTWORKS MISSING FROM MUSEUM; ERIE PENNSYLVANIA LAW ZAPS FREEDOM OF EXOTIC DANCERS; MY CENSUS QUESTIONAIRE.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0021 — 04/17/2000 : THE CENSUS GOING DOOR TO DOOR; ELIAN GONZALEZ STILL BEING HEAVILY OVERCOVERED BY THE IDIOTS IN THE MEDIA.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0022 — 04/24/2000 : MISSING GOVERNMENT COMPUTER WITH TOP SECRET INFORMATION; CHARITY - "FORNICATE FOR A CURE FOR HERPES".
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0023 — 05/01/2000 : RIOTS IN MIAMI OVER ELIAN; "FORNICATE FOR A CURE FOR HERPES"; OUR GALAXY IS GONNA CRASH INTO THE ANDROMEDA GALAXY.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0024 — 05/08/2000 : THE "I LOVE YOU" VIRUS; THE "MELISSA" VIRUS; "FORNICATE FOR A CURE FOR HERPES".
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0025 — 05/15/2000 : NEW YORK CITY MAYOR RUDOLPH GIULIANI LEAVING HIS WIFE; HOWARD STERN; RETARD MAD OVER HIS FOOD.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0026 — 05/22/2000 : ON THE SUBWAY IN NEW YORK CITY; ESCORT GIRL; BOBBY KNIGHT NOT GETTING FIRED.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0027 — 05/29/2000 : COMPUTER VIRUSES; MICROSOFT; LINDA TRIPP; GONNA HAVE SEX WITH RENEE THE GOOD LAY.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0028 — 06/05/2000 : HANGING WITH GOOD FRIEND GENE AT A SUSHI BAR; CANCER; O.J. SIMPSON GETTING BEAT UP BY A GIRL.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0029 — 06/12/2000 : O.J. SIMPSON HAVING TROUBLE WITH A LIE DETECTOR TEST; BOBBY KNIGHT GETTING ANGRY.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0030 — 06/19/2000 : DURSBAN PESTICIDE BEING BANNED; AYDS DIET CANDY; SINEAD O'CONNER IS A LESBIAN; MICROSOFT SUCKS.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0031 — 06/26/2000 : MISSING HARD DRIVES WITH NUCLEAR SECRETS; HAWAII LEGALIZES MEDICAL USE OF MARIWANNA (SOMETIMES SPELLED MARIJUANA).
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0032 — 07/03/2000 : ELIAN GONZALEZ SENT THE FUCK HOME; MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL - DENNIS MILLER, LESLIE VISSER, FRANK GIFFORD, DAN DIERDORF; MARV ALBERT; INFIDELITY.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0033 — 07/10/2000 : "RUNNING OF THE DUMBFUCKS" IN SPAIN; LOOSENING SANCTIONS ON CUBA; GETTING MUMMIFIED.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0034 — 07/17/2000 : SENDING BABY PICTURES THROUGH AOL; BABY HATER BILL; "NADS" HAIR REMOVAL COMMERCIAL; TWO NAVY SHIPS CRASH; MY POOCH RETARD SETS UP HIS HOMEPAGE.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0035 — 07/24/2000 : MALE BIRTH CONTROL PILL; TACO BELL CHI HUA HUA FIRED; MARLON BRANDO NAKED (YUCH!); INTRODUCING BONG BONG.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0036 — 07/31/2000 : U2's BONO URGING G8 NATION TO FORGIVE DEBT OF POOR COUNTRIES; NAPSTER IN LEGAL TROUBLE; JERRY SPRINGER GUEST MURDERED PROBABLY BY HER EX HUSBAND AND HIS WIFE WHO WERE ALSO ON THE SHOW.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0037 — 08/07/2000 : JENNIFER ANISTON GETS MARRIED; BORING POLITICAL CONVENTIONS; TENSION AT A RUSSIAN VODKA FACTORY.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0038 — 08/14/2000 : JENNIFER ANISTON BOOBY PICTURES; BOMBING IRAQ - AGAIN.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0039 — 08/21/2000 : VERIZON ON STRIKE; A NAKED DR SIMMONS GETS LOCKED OUT OF HIS HOUSE; DAVID BOWIE AND IMAN BREED SOMETHING.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0040 — 08/28/2000 : CLONING A PIG (SOMEONE ELSE IS, NOT ME); CUSTOMS DEPARTMENT'S PENETRATING X-RAY MACHINE.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0041 — 09/04/2000 : WOODY HARRELSON AND HIS HEMP BATTLE; LIEBERMAN NOT FOR VICE PRESIDENT; COORS IN THE RIVER; CLINTON IN LEGAL TROUBLE.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0042 — 09/11/2000 : FIRESTONE HAVING SOME PROBLEMS; IDIOT MOUNTAIN CLIMBING; CUSSING FURBYS.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0043 — 09/18/2000 : INDIANA UNIVERSITY BASKETBALL COACH BOBBY KNIGHT FIRED; DR LAURA THE MORALISTIC BITCH; POLITICAL SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES JUMPING INTO THE ELECTION.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0044 — 09/25/2000 : GUY KILLED ON PLANE AFTER HE GOES BERZERK; DR SIMMONS GETS LAID; MONICA LEWINSKY SPEWING ABOUT AMERICAN CULTURE FOR BRITISH TV.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0045 — 10/02/2000 : THE FUCKED UP OLYMPICS STRIPS A YOUNG WOMAN OF HER MEDAL; PIERCE GETS PIERCED; RU-486 ABORTION PILL APPROVED IN THE UNITED STATES; CHAPMAN WANTS TO BE PAROLED AFTER KILLING JOHN LENNON.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0046 — 10/09/2000 : CATHOLIC PRIEST DRIVES CAR INTO ABORTION CLINIC; MARK DAVID CHAPMAN DENIED PAROLE; SLOB MILOSONOVABITCH LOSES ELECTION; DUMBFUCK LAWYER SUING TO KEEP DICKHEAD BOBBY KNIGHT AS INDIANA UNIVERSITY BASKETBALL COACH.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0047 — 10/16/2000 : MADELEINE ALBRIGHT IS NOT ALL THAT BRIGHT - ESPECIALLY ABOUT THE MIDDLE EAST; RALPH NADER - THE TERD PARTY CANDIDATE; CATHOLIC PRIESTS MOLESTING LITTLE BOYS BUT THAT IS NOT NEWS; POSSIBLE NEW LAWS AGAINST UPSKIRT PICTURES.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0048 — 10/23/2000 : MAYOR GIULIANI GOING AFTER SEX BUSINESSES AGAIN; SEPARATION OF JENNIFER LOPEZ AND PUFFY; SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND FOOTBALL; MARIWANNA TESTING ON MONKEYS.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0049 — 10/30/2000 : DON'T VOTE FOR AL GORE - I FUCKIN MEAN IT; COUPLE RAN OVER BY FUCKIN TRACTOR OR FUCKING COUPLE RAN OVER BY TRACTOR; BREAST CANCER AWARENESS; DISCOVERY CHANNEL NUDITY; HIDDEN MEANING INSIDE TOY STORY 2.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0050 — 11/06/2000 : HALLOWEEN; AFRICA NOT ON THE INTERNET; DEMI MOORE AVAILABLE; PLAYSTATION MANIA; LOW LIFE EMINEM LOSES A BRITNEY SPEARS NOTEBOOK WITH HIS LYRICS.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0051 — 11/13/2000 : PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION PHOTO FINISH THAT IS NOT FINISHED YET; DEAD POLITICIAN WINS IN MISSOURI; SENATOR HILLARY CLINTON; BOB DOLE ON COMEDY CENTRAL.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0052 — 11/20/2000 : DR SIMMONS FINDS RAP LYRIC NOTEBOOK OF LOW LIFE eminem; PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION STILL UNRESOLVED IN FLORIDA; RUSSIAN POLICE RAID SMIRNOV VODKA BUILDING.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0053 — 11/27/2000 : NATIONAL SHOPAHOLICS DAY; POST OFFICE RAISING PRICE OF STAMPS TO COVER INCREASED COSTS OF OPERATIONS; MICHIGAN UNIVERSITY SOPHOMORE DRINKS HIMSELF TO DEATH; THE NEVER ENDING PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION DILEMMA.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0054 — 12/04/2000 : MAN USES GRANDMA AS SHIELD IN SHOOTOUT; THE TURD FROM HELL; AL GORE IS A SORE LOSER AND A LOSER; RALPH NADER AND HIS STUPID IDEA.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0055 — 12/11/2000 : DON'T FUCK WITH MY COUNT CHOCULA; FIRESTONE TIRES ARE A-PEALING; MY FUCKIN CHRISTMAS LIST TO SANTA; LATE BREAKING ELECTION NEWS AGAIN.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0056 — 12/18/2000 : NEW ORLEANS POLICE STICK THEIR TOOL UP THE ASS OF A DRUG SUSPECT; THE NEVER ENDING PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION; BREAKING NEWS, IT'S ENDED.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0057 — 12/25/2000 : ELECTORAL COLLEGE CHOOSES GEORGE W BUSH; PRANK PHONE CALLER; CINDY CRAWFORD GETS CANNED BY REVLON.
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