WEAKLY COLLUM # 0093
FOR MONDAY 09/03/2001
LINKS RELATED TO THIS WEEK'S WEAKLY COLLUM.
FEMINISTS FOR FREE EXPRESSION — A MUCH BETTER FEMINIST ALTERNATIVE TO "N.O.W"
COPYRIGHT © 2001 DR SIMMONS ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0093
FOR MONDAY 09/03/2001
DR SIMMONS WEAKLY COLLUM IS A WEB COLUMN OF AN ADULT NATURE. IT IS NOT INTENDED TO BE READ BY ANYONE UNDER THE AGE OF 18. DR SIMMONS WEAKLY COLLUM IS THE PROPERTY OF DR SIMMONS. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ANY UNAUTHORIZED USE OF HIS WEAKLY COLLUM IS PROHIBITED.
BEFORE I TALK ABOUT WHAT IS GOING ON IN THE NEWS, LET ME UPDATE YOU ON MY HEALTH. IT'S NOT GOOD. I AM SHOWING THE SIGNS OF AGING. I HAVE WHITE HAIRS GROWING FROM MY EARS. YES WHITE HAIRS!
I AINT A YOUNG WHIPPER SNAPPER ANYMORE, BUT I AINT GERIATRIC YET EITHER. I'M NOWHERE NEAR SOCIAL SECURITY AGE. BUT I FELT SOCIALLY INSECURE AFTER THOSE HAIRS STARTED GROWING OUT OF MY EARS.
BUT I TRIED TO KEEP MY AHEAD ABOUT ALL THIS. INSTEAD OF GOING ON A SUICIDAL RAMPAGE OR CHECKING MYSELF INTO A NURSING HOME, I TOOK POSITIVE ACTION. I CUT THOSE HAIRS OFF. SOME OF YOU MIGHT SAY THAT THIS DOESN'T DEAL WITH THE UNDERLYING PROBLEM. "OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND". BUT YOU KNOW IMMEDIATELY AFTER I CUT THOSE WHITE EAR HAIRS I FELT TEN YEARS YOUNGER. I FELT LIKE A TEENAGER STICKING HIS FINGERS UP HIS GIRLFRIEND'S PUSSY FOR THE FIRST TIME.
I FEEL ELATED RIGHT NOW BECAUSE OF THE YOUTHFUL ENERGY THAT HAS JUST BEEN RELEASED IN ME, BUT WHAT IF THOSE EVIL WHITE EAR HAIRS COME BACK? I BETTER GO TO THE STORE AND BUY SOME NAIR SO THAT I AM PREPARED FOR THE WORST. YOU KNOW THAT NAIR AND OTHER DEPILATORY CREAMS CAN EVEN REMOVE HAIR BENEATH THE SURFACE OF THE SKIN.
I REMEMBER THE NAIR COMMERCIALS OF THE SEVENTIES WHEN I WAS MUCH YOUNGER. ONE OF THEM REALLY GOT TO ME. AT THE TIME I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT NAIR WAS SUPPOSED TO DO, BUT I WAS REALLY TURNED ON BECAUSE I SAW THE COMMERCIAL OF THAT AWESOME LOOKING BABE RIDING A HORSE IN SOME RACE WHILE SOME LADY IN THE BACKGROUND TALKED ABOUT WOMEN TAKING CHARGE OF THEIR LIVES. THESE WERE HORNY TIMES FOR ME AND I WACKED OFF MANY TIMES THINKING ABOUT THIS BABE IN THE COMMERCIAL. ACTUALLY I AINT REALLY SURE IF THAT WAS A NAIR COMMERCIAL OR NOT, BUT IT AFFECTED ME NONETHELESS.
WHILE I DO HAVE FOND MEMORIES FROM THAT COMMERCIAL, I AINT GONNA ADVERTISE THE LINK TO NAIR ON MY PAGE BECAUSE MANY WOMEN NOWADAYS ARE USING NAIR ON THEIR PUSSIES. THIS IS A PRACTICE THAT I TOTALLY ABHOR. PUSSIES ARE SUPPOSED TO HAVE HAIR AROUND THEM. THAT IS THE NATURE OF PUSSY. IF THEY DON'T HAVE PUBIC HAIRS, THEN THEY AINT PUSSIES. THEY ARE JUST VAGINAS SURROUNDED BY PUBIC TUNDRA. IT'S FEMALE GENITAL NEHILISM. I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY WOMEN THESE DAYS ARE SO FUCKIN PROUD OF THAT.
IN THE NEWS, SHARKS HAVE BEEN CONGREGATING AROUND NEW SMYRNA BEACH IN FLORIDA FOR THE PAST MONTH OR SO. SO FAR 19 PEEPLE HAVE BEEN ATTACKED, NONE SERIOUSLY. 19 SHARK ATTACKS AND NO SERIOUS INJURIES - THEY DON'T MAKE SHARKS THE WAY THEY USED TO. THESE SHARKS AREN'T ANYTHING LIKE THE GREAT WHITE SHARKS FROM THE JAWS MOVIES. THESE SHARKS ARE MORE LIKE THAT FAGGY TALKING CARTOON SHARK, JABBERJAW.
THIS SCENE OF SHARK INFESTED WATERS IS A LOT LIKE A HIGH SCHOOL DANCE WHERE A WOMAN WHO HAS NEVER PARTAKEN OF THE PENIS (A FUCKIN VIRGIN) AND WHO WANTS TO BE DEFLOWERED IN A MAJOR WAY IS SURROUNDED BY THE MOST OPPORTUNISTIC AND AGGRESSIVE STUDS THAT HER HIGH SCHOOL HAS TO OFFER. THEY ARE ALL CIRCLING AROUND HER WAITING FOR A GOOD OPPORTUNITY TO LAUNCH THEIR ATTACK. THE SHARKS SIMILIARLY ARE WAITING FOR A TASTY SURFER TO GET FAR ENOUGH FROM THE SHORE. THEN THE FEEDING FRENZY WILL BE ON. THE BLOOD WILL BE IN THE WATER INSTEAD OF SMEARED INTO THE SHEETS. STAY OUT OF THE FUCKIN OCEAN.
SPEAKING OF BLOOD, CHANDRA LEVY'S BODY HAS NOT BEEN RECOVERED YET. SHE IS THE MISSING INTERN THAT WAS FUCKING CALIFORNIA REPRESENTATIVE GARY CONDIT. HIS CONSTITUENTS ARE ASKING FOR HIS RESIGNATION BECAUSE HE WAS NOT VERY FORWARD ABOUT TELLING THE COUNTRY THAT HE WAS KNOCKING THE BOTTOM OUT OF THE FINE LOOKING INTERN. I THINK THEY ARE BEING A LITTLE HARSH. IF HE DID COMMIT THE CRIME, THEN THAT SHOULD BE THE FOCUS OF EVERYONE'S ANGER. IF HE DIDN'T, THEN WHY SHOULD HE GO OUT OF HIS WAY TO CONFESS AN AFFAIR THAT IS IRRELEVANT TO THE INVESTIGATION? I THINK THE VOTERS ARE ACTUALLY UPSET THAT THIS OLD FART WAS GETTING SOME REALLY NICE TRIM FROM A BEAUTIFUL YOUNG INTERN LIKE CHANDRA LEVY.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY CHANDRA LEVY GOT ROMANTICALLY (SEXUALLY) INVOLVED WITH REPRESENTATIVE GARY CONDIT ANYWAY. SHE MUST HAVE HAD SOME HEAVY POLITICAL AMBITIONS TO SLEEP WITH CONDIT SINCE HE IS UGLY AS SIN. EITHER THAT OR SHE WAS CHARITABLE AS HELL WITH HER BOOTY. SHE COULD HAVE DONE MUCH BETTER. OR SHE COULD HAVE DONE SLIGHTLY BETTER BY GIVING ME A CHANCE. I'M SINGLE AND DON'T HOLD POLITICAL OFFICE SO I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD HER KILLED.
SPEAKING OF KILLED, YOU ALL PROBABLY HEARD ABOUT THAT DEPRESSED BITCH, ANDREA YATES, THAT DROWNED HER FIVE CHILDREN IN THE BATH TUB. WELL SEVERAL GROUPS ARE COMING TO HER RESCUE, MOST NOTABLY THE NATIONAL ORGANIZATION OF WOMEN OR "N.O.W." WHY IS "N.O.W." DEFENDING A WOMAN WHO BRUTALLY MURDERED HER OWN CHILDREN? THEY HAVE ONE OF THE STRANGEST VALUE SYSTEMS I HAVE EVER SEEN. PORNOGRAPHY IS EVIL, BUT A MOTHER DROWNING HER FIVE CHILDREN IS OK.
OTHER GROUPS ARE ALSO THROWING AROUND STRANGE VALUE SYSTEMS. GARY NORMAN OF "MURDER VICTIMS FAMILIES FOR RECONCILIATION" SAYS THAT USING THE DEATH PENALTY ON ANDREA YATES WOULD BE WRONG AS "ADDRESSING VIOLENCE WITH MORE VIOLENCE CREATES MORE SUFFERING." THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I WANT. I WANT THAT ANDREA YATES BITCH TO SUFFER FOR HER HIDEOUSLY CRUEL ACTIONS TO HER HELPLESS INNOCENT CHILDREN. WHAT DO ALL THESE CRYBABY ORGANIZATIONS WANT US TO DO - THROW THE BITCH A PITY PARTY? SHE HAS BEEN LOST TO THE DARK SIDE. DON'T TRY TO HELP HER. SHE SHOULD BE SEEN AS EVIL, NOT AS A POOR HELPLESS VICTIM.
I AM NOT OF THE VIEW THAT WOMEN ARE SMALL BRAINED IRRATIONAL CREATURES, BUT THE WOMEN IN "N.O.W." CERTAINLY ARE. THEY DESERVE TO BE SLAPPED AROUND BY THEIR HUSBANDS FOR ALL THEIR STUPID IDEAS. THEY SAY THEY WANT TO BRING MORE ATTENTION TO DEPRESSION WHICH AFFECTS MANY WOMEN. IF THEY WANT TO ACCOMPLISH THIS, THEN THEY SHOULD FIND SOMEONE OTHER THAN A QUINTUPLE MURDERER TO EVOKE COMPASSION AND UNDERSTANDING FROM THE PUBLIC. THERE ARE THOUSANDS OF WOMEN (AND MEN) THAT SUFFER FROM DEPRESSION. DON'T CHOSE THE ONE THAT JUST DROWNED HER FIVE CHILDREN TO BE YOUR POSTER CHILD FOR THE DISEASE.
"N.O.W." THINKS THEY ARE ADVANCING THE CAUSE OF WOMEN BY REPRESENTING THE MOST DISPICABLE OF THEM BUT THEY AREN'T. THEY JUST MAKE FEMINISTS IN GENERAL AND THEIR ORGANIZATION IN PARTICULAR LOOK SILLY AND IRRELEVANT. YOU DON'T HELP OUT THE CAUSE OF WOMEN BY RAISING MONEY TO HELP A WOMAN WHO MURDERED HER CHILDREN TO KEEP FROM PAYING FOR HER CRIMES.
YOU KNOW THAT IF A DEPRESSED MAN RATHER THAN A DEPRESSED WOMAN HAD DROWNED HIS FIVE CHILDREN, "N.O.W." WOULD BE ALL OVER HIM. THEY WOULD APPROPRIATELY CONDEMN HIM IN THE WORST WAY. DON'T TELL ME THAT THEY WOULDN'T BECAUSE YOU WILL FUCKIN PISS ME OFF. IT'S SO FUCKIN OBVIOUS. BUT THE PRINCIPLE THAT THEY USE IN THEIR ARGUMENT TO DEFEND THE WOMAN, MAJOR DEPRESSION, WOULD BE THE SAME IN MY EXAMPLE. BUT THESE BITCHES DON'T KNOW HOW TO THINK IN PRINCIPLES. THEY HAVE AN AGENDA TO UPHOLD. THAT AGENDA IS TO ALWAYS TAKE THE WOMAN'S SIDE OVER THAN MAN'S, ALWAYS DEFEND THE WOMAN NO MATTER WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES OR WHAT HIDEOUS ACTIONS SHE MAY HAVE COMMITTED. THAT IS THE IRRATIONALITY OF THE NATIONAL ORGANIZATION OF WOMEN. DON'T FALL INTO THEIR WAY OF THINKING.
I AM APPALLED WITH "N.O.W.'s" SUPPORT OF THIS MURDEROUS PSYCHOTIC BITCH, AND I HOPE MOST WOMEN ARE TOO. I THINK THAT WOMEN WITH CHILDREN THAT THEY LOVE DEARLY WOULD BE ESPECIALLY APPALLED THAT "NOW" IS SUPPORTING SOMEONE WHO INTENTIONALLY AND VIOLENTLY DROWNED HER FIVE CHILDREN. IF THEY AREN'T, THEN I AM THOROUGHLY DISAPPOINTED.
THIS BITCH ANDREA YATES MAY BE SUFFERING FROM DEPRESSION. BUT ONCE SHE EXTENDS HER SUFFERING TO HER FIVE CHILDREN, THAT IS WHEN SHE IS NO LONGER A VICTIM IN ANY NORMAL SENSE OF THE WORD. SHE NO LONGER DESERVES ANYONE'S COMPASSION. SHE ONLY DESERVES DISGUST AND CONTEMPT. YOU ALL KNOW THAT I AM RIGHT ON THIS. KISS YOUR CHILDREN ON THE FOREHEAD IF YOU THINK I'M NOT.
THERE IS A HUGE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING A VICTIM OF DEPRESSION AND BEING A VICTIM OF YOUR OWN MURDEROUS CRIMINAL ACTIONS. THIS BITCH IS A VICTIM OF THE LATTER. DON'T FEEL SORRY FOR HER. IN THE OLDEN DAYS THEY WOULD USE ELECTRO SHOCK THERAPY TO TREAT DEPRESSION. YOU KNOW THAT THE ELECTRIC CHAIR WOULD BE EVEN MORE EFFECTIVE AT TREATING THIS BITCH'S DEPRESSION. IF YOU ARE ON THE JURY, PLEASE SENTENCE HER TO DEATH. LINKS RELATED TO THIS WEEK'S WEAKLY COLLUM.
FEMINISTS FOR FREE EXPRESSION — A MUCH BETTER FEMINIST ALTERNATIVE TO "N.O.W"
COPYRIGHT © 2001 DR SIMMONS ALL RIGHTS RESERVED