WEAKLY COLLUM # 0096
FOR MONDAY 09/24/2001
LINKS RELATED TO THIS WEEK'S WEAKLY COLLUM.
RED CROSS — THEY WILL BE WORKING A LONG TIME TRYING TO HELP US RECOVER FROM THIS DISASTER.
COPYRIGHT © 2001 DR SIMMONS ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0096
FOR MONDAY 09/24/2001
DR SIMMONS WEAKLY COLLUM IS A WEB COLUMN OF AN ADULT NATURE. IT IS NOT INTENDED TO BE READ BY ANYONE UNDER THE AGE OF 18. DR SIMMONS WEAKLY COLLUM IS THE PROPERTY OF DR SIMMONS. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ANY UNAUTHORIZED USE OF HIS WEAKLY COLLUM IS PROHIBITED.
IT'S BEEN A HARD TWO WEEKS SO FAR. WE HAVE A LOT OF DAMAGE TO TAKE CARE OF AND A LONG DRAWN OUT WAR TO FIGHT. WE ARE STARTING TO GET BACK TO NORMAL AS A COUNTRY. IT'S BEEN HARD CONSIDERING THE TREMENDOUS LOSS OF LIFE THAT HAS OCCURRED AND THE LOSSES THAT WILL LIKELY OCCUR IN THE FUTURE. THINGS MAY GET BACK SIMILIAR TO HOW THEY WERE EVENTUALLY, BUT WE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.
WE HAVE GONE FROM WONDERING WHERE CHANDRA LEVY IS TO WONDERING WHERE OSAMA BIN LADEN IS AND WHEN WE CAN CELEBRATE HIS DEATH. WE HAVE FORGOTTEN ABOUT THE SHARK ATTACKS ALONG THE EAST COAST AS THE WORD ATTACK ONLY BRINGS UP VISIONS OF THE TWIN TOWERS OF THE WORLD TRADE CENTER CRUMBLING DOWN FROM TERRORIST ATTACKS. WE HAVE GONE FROM WORRYING ABOUT THE HEAVILY OVERVALUED STOCK MARKET GOING DOWN AS AMERICA POSSIBLY EDGES INTO A RECESSION TO WATCHING THE STOCK MARKET GO DOWN HARD FROM THE ECONOMIC FALLOUT FROM THE TERRORIST ATTACKS CONTRIBUTING TO THE ECONOMIC TROUBLES THAT WERE ALREADY THERE.
BUT WE WILL COMEBACK. WE WILL PUNISH THOSE RESPONSIBLE AND SET AN EXAMPLE FOR OTHERS LIKE THEM. WE HAVE TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT. WE HAVE TO DESTROY ALL THOSE WHO ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS DEVASTATION ON OUR HOME SOIL. NOT JUST THE TERRORISTS, BUT THE GOVERNMENTS THAT SUPPORT THE TERRORISTS AND THEIR ACTIVITIES. ANYONE CAN KILL. TERRORISTS WILL ALWAYS BE AROUND. BUT THEY WOULD HAVE A MUCH HARDER TIME IF THEY HAD NO COUNTRY TO WELCOME THEM, NO GOVERNMENT TO GIVE THEM FINANCIAL SUPPORT, NO LAND WHERE THEY ARE FREE TO SET UP THEIR TRAINING CAMPS OF DEATH, NO GROUP OF PEEPLE RUNNING OUT INTO THE STREETS TO DECLARE SUPPORT FOR THEM.
LAST WEEK GEORGE W BUSH GAVE A VERY IMPORTANT SPEECH TO THE NATION ABOUT THE TRAGIC EVENTS AND THE ACTIONS NEEDED TO BE TAKEN. HE WAS VERY STRAIGHT AND TO THE POINT. I THINK HE REALLY DID A GOOD JOB OUTLINING WHAT OUR COUNTRY WILL BE DEALING WITH AND MOTIVATING US FOR THE TASK AHEAD. HE STUMBLED ON THE PRONOUNCIATION A FEW TIMES, BUT MY PHILOSOPHY ON THAT IS PRONUNCIATION TAKES A BACK SEAT TO CONTENT. HE REALLY OUTDID MY EXPECTATIONS. GEORGE W BUSH MADE THOSE IDIOTS THAT VANDALIZED THE WHITE HOUSE LOOK STUPID FOR STEALING THE "W's" FROM ALL THE KEYBOARDS.
A FEW OF US WORRY ABOUT THE TERRORISTS RETALIATING WITH EVEN MORE VIOLENCE. THEY DON'T WANT ANY MORE ATTACKS IN RESPONSE TO U.S. MILITARY ACTION. BUT THE ATTACKS WILL KEEP HAPPENING. THEY HAVE BEEN HAPPENING. EMBASSIES HAVE BEEN GETTING BOMBED LIKE CRAZY. WE LOSE A HUNDRED PEEPLE HERE, TWO HUNDRED THERE. NOW THE VIOLENT DUMBFUCKS ARE GOING AFTER LARGER TARGETS. THEY ALREADY KILLED MORE THAN SIX THOUSAND PEEPLE IN ONE DAY ON AMERICAN SOIL. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. WE HAVE TO LAUNCH A FULL CONCERTED EFFORT AGAINST THEM, NO IFS ANDS OR BUTS.
WE WILL BE ATTACKED BY TERRORISTS AGAIN AND AGAIN, REGARDLESS OF WHETHER OR HOW WE RESPOND. THESE TERRORIST MOTHER FUCKERS ARE STILL IN OUR COUNTRY, AND THEY AINT HERE PAYING AMERICA A FRIENDLY VISIT. AT LEAST WE WILL FIGHT BACK AND MAKE THEM PAY HARD.
THESE TERRORIST GUYS ARE NUTS. THEY ARE FROM THE MIDDLE EAST WHERE THERE IS A DEEP NEED FOR ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASSES. THESE MOTHER FUCKERS WON'T BE HAPPY UNTIL EVERY AMERICAN MAN, WOMAN, AND CHILD HAS BEEN KILLED. AMERICA SHOULD NOT AND, I BELIEVE, WILL NOT TOLERATE SUCH A HOSTILE, VIOLENT ATTITUDE AGAINST ITSELF, ESPECIALLY BY PEEPLE THAT HAVE THE POWER TO CAUSE SUCH A GREAT LOSS OF LIFE. LET'S DESTROY THEM ALL.
ALSO, IF WE GO AFTER THE INFRASTRUCTURE SUPPORTING TERRORIST ORGANIZATIONS, THEN THEIR ATTACKS WILL MORE LIKELY BE UNSUCCESSFUL OR AT LEAST NOT BE AS POTENT. THEY WILL BE UNCOORDINATED, UNFINANCED ATTACKS, UNSUPPORTED BY ROGUE GOVERNMENTS THAT COULD GIVE THEM FINANCIAL SUPPORT, PROTECTION FROM AUTHORITIES, ACCESS TO PASPORTS, ETC. TERRORISTS WILL STILL OUT BE THERE, BUT THEY WILL HAVE LESS SUPPORT BEHIND THEM.
RIGHT NOW WE ARE WORKING ON UNCOVERING WHO IS INVOLVED IN THE VARIOUS TERRORIST NETWORKS AROUND THE WORLD. THE FBI HAS MADE NUMEROUS ARRESTS. COUNTRIES IN EUROPE HAVE MADE SIMILIAR PROGRESS UNCOVERING PLANNED TERRORIST ACTIVITES AND CATCHING PEEPLE WITH TIES TO TERRORIST GROUPS. EVERY STONE IS BEING LIFTED TO LOOK FOR TERRORISTS WHEREVER THEY MAY HIDE.
RUMOR HAS IT THAT MISS CLEO, THE PSYCHIC HOTLINE LADY, KNEW ABOUT THE ATTACKS FAR IN ADVANCE WITH HER UNLIMITED PSYCHIC POWERS, BUT DIDN'T REVEAL THIS INFORMATION SINCE NO ONE WHO CALLED HER HOTLINE BROUGHT UP THIS TOPIC TO HER IN THE WEEKS BEFORE THE ATTACKS. EVERYONE WHO CALLED WAS CONCERNED ABOUT WHETHER THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHER WAS GETTING SOME ASS ON THE SIDE.
THE FBI HAS BEEN QUESTIONING MISS CLEO EXTENSIVELY. AT $3.95 PER MINUTE, MISS CLEO HAS ALREADY MADE A SMALL FORTUNE AND STANDS TO MAKE A LOT MORE AS THE INVESTIGATION CONTINUES.
MISS CLEO HAS APPARENTLY BEEN GIVING THE FBI EXCELLENT INFORMATION ABOUT THE TERRORIST ATTACKERS USING HER PSYCHIC POWERS. THIS HAS ALLOWED THE FBI TO CATCH DOZENS OF OSAMA BIN LADEN'S ASSOCIATES. BUT SOME FBI OFFICERS ARE ABUSING THE PSYCHIC'S SERVICE AT TAX PAYER EXPENSE. THEY ARE ASKING PERSONAL QUESTIONS SUCH AS IF THEIR WIVES ARE CHEATING ON THEM OR IF THEY HAVE A CHANCE OF GETTING IN THE PANTS OF THE CUTE SECRETARY AT THEIR FIELD OFFICE.
IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN PSYCHICS AND WANT TO GET YOUR INFORMATION ELSEWHERE, YOU CAN WATCH PAT ROBERTSON'S SHOW, THE 700 CLUB. YOU WILL ALWAYS GET UNBIASED, COMPLETELY ACCURATE INFORMATION HERE. THEY ALWAYS HAVE SUCH INFORMATIVE GUESTS. LAST WEEK THEY HAD JERRY FALWELL ON AS GUEST.
JERRY FALWELL HAD A LOT OF IMPORTANT INFORMATION TO SHARE ABOUT THE CAUSE OF THE TERRORIST ATTACKS ON THE WORLD TRADE CENTER AND ON THE PENTAGON. HE SAID THAT GAYS AND FEMINISTS AND THE ACLU AND ABORTION RIGHTS ACTIVISTS WERE PARTIALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR MOTIVATING THE ATTACKS. THAT IS A COINCIDENCE. THESE ARE ALL THE GROUPS THAT JERRY FALWELL HATES. IF JERRY FALWELL WASN'T SUCH A MAN OF INTEGRITY AND CLEAR THINKING, I WOULD QUESTION WHY HE NAMES THOSE GROUPS AS INSPIRING THE TERRORIST ATTACKS.
THIS IS THE TYPE OF SHIT THAT US ATHEISTS WOULDN'T SAY. NOT THAT WE ATHEISTS ARE ANY MORE KIND AND SENSITIVE THAN RELIGIOUS FOLKS. WE HAVE A FEW OUTSPOKEN INSENSITIVE SOULS AMONG OUR RANKS TOO, I PROBABLY BEING ONE OF THE MORE NOTICABLE OF THEM. BUT SINCE WE AREN'T RELIGIOUS, WE DON'T HAVE ANY REASON TO USE RELIGION TO COME UP WITH METAPHYSICAL EXPLANATIONS FOR REAL LIFE EVENTS. WE CAN SEE THE CAUSES OF TRAGIC EVENTS SUCH AS THIS IN REAL LIFE TERMS. THESE ATTACKS WERE THE RESULT OF SICK MINDED TERRORISTS, NOT THE WRATH OF THE GODS. WE ATHEISTS DON'T SEE THIS EVENT AS GOD'S PUNISHMENT FOR OUR SOCIETY TOLERATING GAYS OR AS ALLAH'S PUNISHMENT OF THE WESTERN WORLD. THESE ARE SICK ACTIONS CAUSED BY SICK PEEPLE, NO THEOLOGICAL EXPLANATIONS NEEDED.
JERRY FALWELL IS LIKE A GENOCIDE OF INTELLIGENT THOUGHT. IT'S OBVIOUS THAT HE HAS AN AGENDA. IT'S AN AGENDA OF HATE AND INTOLERANCE. IT WAS CLOSED MINDED RELIGIOUS FANATICISM, SIMILIAR TO THE TYPE THAT JERRY FALWELL ESPOUSES, THAT INSPIRED THE ATTACKS. THE RELIGIONS OF JERRY FALWELL AND OF THE TERRORISTS ARE DIFFERENT BUT THE FANATACISM AND INTOLERANCE THAT THEY BOTH DEMONSTRATE ARE QUITE SIMILIAR. I SAY WE PACK JERRY FALWELL'S SORRY ASS ON THE NEXT PLANE TO AFGHANISTAN.
NOW I'VE PUT MY FOOT IN MY MOUTH A FEW TIMES TOO, I MUST ADMIT. BUT I CAN GET AWAY WITH IT MORE EASILY SINCE IT IS WELL KNOWN THAT I GET DRUNK A LOT. IT IS ALSO COMMONLY BELIEVED THAT I SUFFER FROM SEVERE MENTAL PROBLEMS. ALSO A LOT OF PEEPLE DON'T TAKE ME SERIOUSLY, SO IT IS EASIER FOR ME TO GET AWAY WITH CHEWING FOOT.
JERRY FALWELL APOLOGIZED FOR WHAT HE SAID ON THE SHOW THAT DAY, AND PAT ROBERTSON APOLOGIZED FOR AGREEING WITH HIM. THOSE WERE MIGHTY BIG SHOES FOR THEM TO PULL OUT OF THEIR MOUTHS. DON'T BELIEVE THEIR APOLOGY. THEY MEANT WHAT WAS SAID. THEY JUST DON'T WANT TO TAKE THE HEAT FROM THEIR HATEFUL COMMENTS AND LOSE ACCESS TO THE MONEY TRAIN FED BY DONATIONS FROM LONELY OLD WIDOWS WHO ASPIRE TO GET TO HEAVEN.
YOU CAN SEND YOUR MONEY TO JERRY FALWELL OR TO PAT ROBERTSON IF YOU WANT, BUT DON'T FALL FOR ANY OF THE SCAMS THAT HAVE BEEN POPPING UP. IT WAS WONDERFUL TO SEE THE COUNTRY PULL TOGETHER AFTER DISASTER STRUCK. IT WAS LIKEWISE DISHEARTENING TO HEAR ABOUT TELEMARKETING SCAMS CLAIMING TO HELP THE VICTIMS' FAMILIES GET INFORMATION ON THEIR LOVED ONES.
TELEMARKETING SCAMS OF VICTIM'S FAMILIES AND JERRY FALWELL BLAMING GAYS FOR SHIT THAT THEY HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH - THAT IS THE AMERICA THAT I KNOW AND BITCH ABOUT EXTENSIVELY IN MY WRITINGS. LIKE I SAID IN THE BEGINNING, WE ARE GETTING BACK TO NORMAL. WHILE I DO THINK THAT WE HAVE A LOT OF FUCKED UP ISSUES IN OUR COUNTRY, OUR SITUATION DOESN'T EVEN COMPARE TO THESE BULLSHIT "LIFE IS VALUELESS" TERRORIST NATIONS. I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL THEY ARE MILITARILY DISMANTLED AND SOME SERIOUS TERRORIST BLOOD IS SHED. I'LL KEEP YOU UPDATED ON THE TERRORIST DEATH TOLL. LINKS RELATED TO THIS WEEK'S WEAKLY COLLUM.
RED CROSS — THEY WILL BE WORKING A LONG TIME TRYING TO HELP US RECOVER FROM THIS DISASTER.
COPYRIGHT © 2001 DR SIMMONS ALL RIGHTS RESERVED