WEAKLY COLLUMS 2001
WEAKLY COLLUMS FOR 2001
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0058 — 01/01/2001 : IT'S THE THRID MILLENNIUM; LOS ANGELES RAMS LOSE TO THE NEW ORLEANS SAINTS; CHOOSE A DESIGNATED BICYCLER; ANNA NICOLE SMITH IS NOT PLAYBOY MATERIAL; RENEE THE GOOD LAY COMING OVER TO FUCK.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0059 — 01/08/2001 : WHAT TO DO WHEN IT SNOWS; BILL CLINTON PRESIDENTIAL PARDONS; POLITICIAN THAT WANTS COPS TO BE KILLED; PLAYBOY POLL FOR THE SEXIEST SPORTS LADY.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0060 — 01/15/2001 : REVENGE OF Y2K; PSYCHOTIC FOOTBALL PLAYER UNDERWOOD; POLITICIAN ALCIERE THE COP HATER MIGHT BACK OUT OF ELECTION; QUESTIONAIRE FOR POLITICAL CANDIDATES.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0061 — 01/22/2001 : CLONING FLUORESCENT MONKEYS; BILL CLINTON SAYS GOODBYE; JESSE JACKSON KNOCKS UP SOME BROAD.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0062 — 01/29/2001 : PUFFY COMBS GOING TO TRIAL; BILL CLINTON LEGAL SETTLEMENT; BATTLEBOT BUDDY LEE; BUSH DAUGHTER NIPPLE SHOT.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0063 — 02/05/2001 : CALIFORNIA ENERGY CRISIS; DEMOCRATS DON'T LIKE LOWER TAXES; DUMBFUCKS VANDALIZE WHITEHOUSE; BUSH MIXING STATE AND RELIGION; CELINE DION GIVES BIRTH.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0064 — 02/12/2001 : ENCARE LOSES OUT TO FOX'S ANTAGONISM TO BIRTH CONTROL; JESSE VENTURA HELPS THE XFL FOOTBALL LEAGUE MAKE THEIR DEBUT; LOSER GUNMAN IS SHOT IN FRONT OF WHITEHOUSE; DR SIMMONS TROUBLE IN THE BATHROOM.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0065 — 02/19/2001 : U.S. NAVY SINKS JAPANESE SHIP; ANNA KOURNIKOVA VIRUS, NAPSTER HAVING PROBLEMS; O.J. HAVING PROBLEMS TOO.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0066 — 02/26/2001 : RUSSIA AND U.S. STILL PLAYING SPY GAMES; ASTEROID HITS EARTH BEFORE THE DINOSAURS; SOMETHING CRASHES INTO DR SIMMONS PROPERTY.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0067 — 03/05/2001 : BARBIE EXPOSED; POSTCARD SPENDS CENTURY IN THE MAIL; BILL CLINTON PARDONS EVERYONE; RAPS STARS BEING VIOLENT AS USUAL.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0068 — 03/12/2001 : STUPID BITCH RIDES TRASH BIN TO HER DEATH; NAKED WIFE VIRUS; INTERNET COMPANIES ARE DYING.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0069 — 03/19/2001 : STOCK MARKET GOING DOWN; U.S. MILITARY FUCKING UP IN KUWAIT; JAPANESE TRAIN DRIVER ABANDONS POST TO LOOK FOR HIS HAT.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0070 — 03/26/2001 : PUFFY COMBS ESCAPES HIS JUST PUNISHMENT; MAD COW DISEASE; TALIBAN IN AFGHANISTAN DESTROY ANCIENT BUDDHA STATUES; MIR COMES CRASHING DOWN.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0071 — 04/02/2001 : NUNS BEING SEXUALLY ASSAULTED BY CHURCH LEADERS; SCHOOL SHOOTINGS; MILOSEVIC GOING TO BE ARRESTED.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0072 — 04/09/2001 : MILOSEVIC TAKEN ALIVE; WOMEN BITES PEEPLE; SIMPLE PEEPLE GETTING MARRIED; NAVY SPY PLANE CRASHES INTO A CHINESE FIGHTER PLANE.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0073 — 04/16/2001 : SPY PLANE CREW RETURNS HOME; EXOTIC DANCER KICKED OFF OF COLLEGE TRACK TEAM; PLAYBOY POLL FOR BEST FINANCIAL BABE; NOT SEXISM TO DRESS IN A SHORT SKIRT. (SHOW THOSE THIGHS BITCH.)
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0074 — 04/23/2001 : THE VIRGIN MARY IN BIKINI; YAHOO AFRAID TO SELL PORNO; AND OTHER SHIT.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0075 — 04/30/2001 : TALKING BOTTLE OF VODKA; NAKED NEWS; FREE JOHN THOBURN; MILLIONAIRE IN SPACE.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0076 — 05/07/2001 : POPE WANTS PRESIDENT BUSH TO SPARE TIMOTHY McVEIGH FOR THE OKLAHOMA CITY BOMBING; FORNICATE FOR A CURE FOR HERPES CHARITY EVENT; PRESIDENT BUSH'S DAUGHTER JENNA BUSH CITED FOR ALCOHOL VIOLATION WHILE AT COLLEGE.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0077 — 05/14/2001 : THE BENEFITS OF ALCOHOL; HACKERS ATTACK WHITEHOUSE WEBSITE; MICROSOFT XP TO BE RELEASED THIS YEAR.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0078 — 05/21/2001 : XFL FOLDS; BREAST MILK AINT FATTENING; RUNAWAY TRAIN IN OHIO; DOCTORS GETTING SHIT IN RUSSIA; NEW YORK CITY MAYOR GIULIANI MIGHT NOT BE ALLOWED TO BRING HIS LOVER HOME.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0079 — 05/28/2001 : PAINTING OF VIRGIN MARY IN BIKINI ALLOWED TO BE DISPLAYED IN NEW MEXICO MUSEUM; TOM GREEN THE POLYGAMIST BEING PUNISHED BY THE EVIL U.S. GOVERNMENT; ONLINE PORN LAW BEING LOOKED AT BY SUPREME COURT; BELINDA CARLISLE POSES NUDE FOR PLAYBOY.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0080 — 06/04/2001 : JOHN THOBURN IS FREED; BABES STRIPPING FOR A FIRE ENGINE; YVETTE LOZANO BUSTED OVER GEORGE W BUSH CAMPAIGN TAPE; JENNA BUSH WANTS TO GET DRUNK.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0081 — 06/11/2001 : THE DANGER OF DRUGGED UP BREASTS; SENIOR CITIZEN COMMUNITY IN ARIZONA FULL OF PUBLIC FORNICATORS; LOS ANGELES LADY COP POSES FOR PLAYBOY.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0082 — 06/18/2001 : TIMOTHY McVEIGH EXECUTED FOR HIS CRIMES; WOMEN SHOULD DRINK NIAGARA IF THEY AREN'T PUTTING OUT ENOUGH; CONMAN GETS BUSTED FOR FONDLING WOMAN DURING EXORCISM; POLICE IN CHAD TEAR GAS NAKED WOMEN PROTESTERS.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0083 — 06/25/2001 : NATIONAL ORGASM DAY IN LONDON; 62 YEAR OLD BITCH HAS AN UNUSUAL PREGNANCY; EVIL MICROSOFT USING SMART TAGS TO FUCK YOU OVER; POLICE OFFICER BUSTS ASS WHILE BUSTING CRIMINALS.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0084 — 07/02/2001 : MICROSOFT LISTENS TO ME ABOUT "SMART TAGS"; LOSER WRITES JENNIFER LOPEZ VIRUS; SOMETHING UNUSUAL COMES OUT OF A SHETLAND PONY; FRENCH BISHOP DISCOURAGES JUNE WEDDINGS FOR CATHOLICS; VICE PRESIDENT DICK CHENEY HAS HEART TROUBLE.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0085 — 07/09/2001 : NORTH DAKOTA IS BORED WITH ITS NAME; THE WORLD'S MOST BORING, I MEAN LONGEST SERMON; ROBERT HANSSEN COMMITS HIS LIFE TO SPYING; RUNNING OF THE DUMBFUCKS IN SPAIN.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0086 — 07/16/2001 : WITCHES THINK THAT HARRY POTTER DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO FLY A BROOM; GOOD FRIEND GENE GOING TO BRING SOME FREAKY WOMEN OVER TO DR SIMMONS PLACE; MORE RAP MUSIC INDUSTRY VIOLENCE; SQUASH PLAYER VICKY BOTWRIGHT LOOKS GREAT IN A THONG.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0087 — 07/23/2001 : FISHERMAN CATCHES FISHERMAN; LEOPARD MAULS GIRL FOR PHOTOGRAPH; CHURCH WORKER MOLESTS KIDS (AGAIN); FBI MISPLACES WEAPONS AND COMPUTERS.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0088 — 07/30/2001 : WOMAN GIVES UP HER VIRGINITY TO PORNOGRAPHY; A WOMAN DRIVER CAN'T PASS HER DRIVING TEST; VIOLENT PROTESTER KILLED IN GENOA ITALY.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0089 — 08/06/2001 : MT ETNA ERUPTS IN SICILY; AMERICANS WILL GET TAX REFUND CHECKS; SHOP TOO MUCH SARA; TECHNOLOGY HELPS DEAF COUPLE TO HEAR.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0090 — 08/13/2001 : MAUREEN REAGAN DIES; WRITER JAILED FOR NOT SELLING OUT TO THE U.S. GOVERNMENT; SEXY SINGER MARIAH CAREY HAS A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN; HUMAN CLONING MOVES FORWARD, A VIDEO CAMERA THAT CAN SEE THROUGH CLOTHES.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0091 — 08/20/2001 : U.S. GOVERNMENT SPENDS MILLIONS SO THAT A FEW PEEPLE CAN VOTE OVER THE INTERNET; PHILADELPHIA EAGLES CHEERLEADERS SUING NFL TEAMS FOR PEEPING ON THEM; DR SIMMONS, GOOD FRIEND GENE, AND PERVERTED PETER - NO PUN INTENDED LOOKING THROUGH WOMEN'S CLOTHES WITH AN INFRARED SPY VIDEO CAMERA.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0092 — 08/27/2001 : JESSE HELMS WON'T SEEK REELECTION; LOTTERY POWERBALL DRAWING; WEBSITES THAT PROMOTE UNHEALTHY ANOREXIC EATING HABITS; TOM FORSYTHE AND HIS PICTURES OF NUDE BARBIE DOLLS.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0093 — 09/03/2001 : SHARKS ATTACKING; CHANDRA LEVY; NATIONAL ORGANIZATION OF WOMEN SUPPORTING MOTHER WHO MURDERED HER FIVE CHILDREN.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0094 — 09/10/2001 : MORE SHARK ATTACKS; JANET RENO RUNNING FOR GOVERNOR OF FLORIDA; ANDRE AGASSI LOSES TO SAMPRAS TWO YEARS AFTER LOSING BROOKE SHIELDS.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0095 — 09/17/2001 : TERRORISTS ATTACK AMERICA.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0096 — 09/24/2001 : RESPONDING TO THE TERRORIST ATTACKS; JERRY FALWELL IS VERY INFORMATIVE ABOUT THE TERRORIST ATTACKS.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0097 — 10/01/2001 : AMERICANS UNITED AND PREPARED TO FIGHT TERRORISTS; THERAPY WITH CHEAP CHARLEY.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0098 — 10/08/2001 : WE SHOULD GO TO WAR WITH THE TALIBAN; JENNIFER LOPEZ GETS MARRIED; THE UNITED STATES ATTACKS AFGHANISTAN.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0099 — 10/15/2001 : WE ARE KICKING THE TALIBAN'S ASSES; WE ARE REALLY KICKING ASS IN AGHANISTAN; BUT WE ARE BEING ATTACKED BY ANTHRAX HERE AT HOME; RICHARD GERE DOENS'T UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF COMPASSION.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0100 — 10/22/2001 : MY HUNDREDTH ANNIVERSARY ON THE WEB; OTHER HUNDREDTH ANNIVERSARY EVENTS; ANTHRAX SCARES; DUMBASS KICKED OFF PLANE FOR TRYING TO LEAD PRAYER; OSAMA BIN LADEN TOILET PAPER.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0101 — 10/29/2001 : ANTHRAX IN AMERICA; CELL PHONES MAY BE HARMFUL; O.J. SIMPSON'S ROAD RAGE TRIAL; MUSEUM FOR ELIAN GONZALEZ; PENN STATE FOOTBALL LEGEND GETS THE RECORD AT BEAVER STADIUM.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0102 — 11/05/2001 : ANTHRAX; KEEP BOMBING THE TALIBAN DURING THE HOLIDAYS; MICROSOFT SCREWS MANY MSN USERS.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0103 — 11/12/2001 : ANTHRAX CLEANUP; TRUCK JACKING AND LOW SPEED TRUCK CHASE.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0104 — 11/19/2001 : NORTHERN ALLIANCE KICKING TALIBAN ASS; FRENCH SOLDIERS SENT TO AFGHANISTAN; AID WORKERS RESCUED.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0105 — 11/26/2001 : TALIBAN BITING THE DUST; ANTHRAX KILLS AGAIN; SLOBODAN MILOSEVIC CONVICTED OF WAR CRIMES; SHOPAHOLICS AND THE DAY AFTER THANKSGIVING SALES.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0106 — 12/03/2001 : MARINES ENTER AFGHANISTAN; A CRACK WHORE COMES BY; HUMAN EMBRYO CLONING; PENELOPE CRUZ MARRYING TOM CRUISE; HARRY POTTER AND HIS WITCHCRAFT OFFEND SOME.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0107 — 12/10/2001 : DR SIMMONS AND GOOD FRIEND GENE REPORT THE NEWS FROM THE BATTLEFIELDS IN AFGHANISTAN; ORGY ACTION; STROM THURMOND IS 99 YEARS YOUNG; JAPAN LAUNCHES THREE WARSHIPS TO HELP IN TERRORISM FIGHT; ISRAEL AND PALESTINE FIGHTING AGAIN.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0108 — 12/17/2001 : DR SIMMONS REPORTS FROM THE WAR ZONE IN AFGHANISTAN FOR A SECOND WEEK; MORE ORGY ACTION; LAPD COMES OUT WITH TOY ACTION FIGURES; PLAYBOY DOLLS; NUDE CAMP FOR WITCHES FACES CLOSING; OSAMA BIN LADEN LOOKS GUILTY ON TAPE.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0109 — 12/24/2001 : WEEK THREE OF WAR CORRESPONDENCE IN AFGHANISTAN; FOOTBALL VIOLENCE; UNLEANING THE LEANING TOWER OF PISA.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0110 — 12/31/2001 : DUMBFUCK RICHARD REID TRIES TO BLOW UP A PASSENGER PLANE WITH EXPLOSIVES IN HIS SHOE; CHRISTMAS VIOLENCE, SPENDING CHRISTMAS IN A FALLOUT SHELTER TO AVOID CHRISTMAS.
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