WEAKLY COLLUMS 2002
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DR SIMMONS WEAKLY COLLUM IS A WEB COLUMN OF AN ADULT NATURE. IT IS NOT INTENDED TO BE READ BY ANYONE UNDER THE AGE OF 18. DR SIMMONS WEAKLY COLLUM IS THE PROPERTY OF DR SIMMONS. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ANY UNAUTHORIZED USE OF HIS WEAKLY COLLUM IS PROHIBITED. HERE ARE THE WEAKLY COLLUMS FOR 2002.
WEAKLY COLLUMS FOR 2002
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0111 01/07/2002 : GERMANS DON'T LIKE AD WITH THREE BREASTED WOMAN; HOCKEY DADS ARE MORE VIOLENT THAN THEIR CHILDREN; ARGENTINA FALLING APART; THE EURO IS LAUNCHED.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0112 01/14/2002 : TEENAGER SMASHES PLANE INTO BUILDING; MAN THREATENS TO BLOW UP AIRPLANE IN FLIGHT; HOCKEY DADS MANSLAUGHTER TRIAL; FORMER DALLAS COWBOYS QUARTERBACK TROY AIKMAN WANTS TO COME OUT OF RETIREMENT.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0113 01/21/2002 : PRESIDENT BUSH GETS HIS ASS KICKED BY A PRETZEL; ENRON STOCK ISN'T HOLDING ITS VALUE; SPIDER WEBS AND GENETIC ENGINEERING; A PERSONAL LOSS.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0114 01/28/2002 : THERE ARE MANY WAYS TO FIND BIN LADEN; EUROPEAN BROTHEL FOR WOMEN GOES DOWN; KMART GOES BANKRUPT; MIKE TYSON FIGHTING OUTSIDE THE RING.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0115 02/04/2002 : NAVY SUBMARINE ALMOST SINKS SHIP; HOCKEY DAD JUNTA AT THE RIGHT PLACE AT THE RIGHT TIME - PRISON; ATTORNEY GENERAL JOHN ASHCROFT IS A PUSSY WHO IS SCARED OF BREASTS; ENRON EXECUTIVE CLIFF BAXTER MURDERED BY SUICIDE; NO WOMAN SUCKED INTO TOILET ON SCANDINAVIAN AIRPLANE.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0116 02/11/2002 : A NEW WAY TO ADVERTISE; DRINK ALCOHOL FOR YOUR HEALTH; NOELLE BUSH USES XANAX; WINONA RYDER DOESN'T PAY CASH AT THE STORES; NEW ANTI DRUG COMMERCIALS; SAINT LOUIS RAMS LOSE THE SUPERBOWL TO THE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0117 02/18/2002 : FIGURE SKATING CONTESTANT MAKES BLOOPER AT WINTER OLYMPICS; FIGURE SKATING JUDGE MAKES BLOOPER AT WINTER OLYMPICS; VIRGINIA LEGISLATURE FUCKING UP WITH THE TEN COMMANDMENTS IN SCHOOLS; SAUDI ARABIA TAKES A STAND AGAINST WOMEN DRIVERS.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0118 02/25/2002 : CLONING PUSSY CATS; E-MAIL TO VIRGINIA DELEGATE MARSHALL ABOUT RELIGION IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS; CURLING IN THE OLYMPICS; BRITISH WOMEN WANT POT; PSYCHIC MRS CLEO HAS SOME UNFORSEEN TROUBLE WITH THE LAW.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0119 03/04/2002 : ANDREA YATES ON TRIAL; TERRORIST OLYMPICS; LIST OF CATHOLIC PRIESTS THAT HAVE DONE IT WITH LITTLE CHILDREN.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0120 03/11/2002 : E-MAIL SPAM; SHADOW GOVERNMENT.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0121 03/18/2002 : CELEBRITY BOXING WITH TONYA HARDING AND FRIENDS; PUNISHMENT FOR ANDREA YATES; THE MIDDLE EAST IS UNSTABLE; ATTACKING IRAQ.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0122 03/25/2002 : DEAD TERRORISTS CAN STILL GET INTO AMERICA; CATHOLIC PRIESTS LOVE LITTLE BOYS; ELEMENTARY SCHOOL STRIP SEARCH IN KANSAS CITY.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0123 04/01/2002 : ISRAEL HAS GOT TO FIGHT BACK; OLD CELEBRITIES ARE DYING; HUSBAND OF CELINE DION ACCUSED OF SEX CRIME; EARTHQUAKE IN AFGHANISTAN; DRUG DOING DANIEL UPSET.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0124 04/08/2002 : LIZARD FACE PALESTINIAN LEADER YASSER ARAFAT IS TRAPPED DURING ISRAEL ATTACK; FORMER STRIPPER KOLEEN BROOKS FIRED AS MAYOR OF GEORGETOWN COLORADO; PLAYBOY IS LOOKING FOR ENRON WOMEN TO POSE NAKED.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0125 04/15/2002 : AMERICAN AIRLINES BREAKING BARRIERS; OPRAH WINFREY CANCELING HER BOOK CLUB; KILLER ASTEROID HEADED FOR EARTH.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0126 04/22/2002 : PLANE CRASHES INTO PIRELLI BUILDING IN MILAN ITALY; ISRAEL HAS A RIGHT TO DEFEND THEMSELVES AGAINST SUICIDAL PALESTINIAN MILITANTS; BARETTA STAR ROBERT BLAKE ARRESTED FOR MURDER OF HIS WIFE.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0127 04/29/2002 : TRYING TO GET OPRAH WINFREY TO PUT MY BOOK IN HER OPRAH BOOK CLUB; CATHOLIC PRIESTS ARE PEDOPHILES.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0128 05/06/2002 : MIDDLE EAST PEACE ATTEMPTS; FORNICATE FOR A CURE FOR HERPES CHARITY; JESSE HELMS SURGERY; CATHOLIC CARDINAL LAW IS FUCKED UP IN THE HEAD.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0129 05/13/2002 : SMILEY FACE BOMBER AND HIS DISLIKE OF MAIL BOXES; SCHOOL PRE DANCE PANTY CHECK; CICCIOLINA THE ITALIAN PORN STAR RETURNING TO POLITICS.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0130 05/20/2002 : MISSING CHILDREN; GUILTY CATHOLIC PRIESTS COMMITTING SUICIDE; THE VATICAN PROTECTS CHILD MOLESTERS FROM THE LAW; JENNIFER ANISTON DOESN'T WANT TO BE SEEN NAKED.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0131 05/27/2002 : MY E-MAIL TO THE VATICAN ABOUT THE CATHOLIC PRIEST CHILD MOLESTATION COVER UP SCANDAL; GROOM LOSES MEMORY AND FORGETS BRIDE; GROWN MEN CHASING RABBITS.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0132 06/03/2002 : THE VATICAN IS TELLING PRIESTS HOW TO HIDE THEIR KIDOFILE WAYS; SQUIRREL RATS ON BURGLAR; TOILET TO BECOME HOME TO LUCKY RENTERS; FRENCH RAPPER GETS IN TROUBLE FOR SPANKING HIS MONKEY.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0133 06/10/2002 : INDIA AND PAKISTAN MIGHT NUKE EACH OTHER; INTELLIGENCE AGENCIES ASLEEP BEFORE SEPTEMBER 11 ATTACKS; FBI WHISTLEBLOWER COLEEN ROWLEY IS PISSED; UPTIGHT CHRISTIAN PRIVATE SCHOOL DOESN'T LIKE STUDENT'S MOTHER STRIPPING OR POSING FOR PLAYBOY.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0134 06/17/2002 : KENNEDY COUSIN MICHAEL SKAKEL FOUND GUILTY IN THE 1975 MURDER OF MARTHA MOXLEY; CATHOLIC BISHOPS MEETING IN DALLAS TO TALK ABOUT SEXUAL MOLESTATION AND HOW TO COVER UP THE PROBLEM.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0135 06/24/2002 : TERRORSIST TRYING TO NUKE US; MARTHA STWEART HAVING TROUBLE WITH HER IMCLONE STOCK SALES; CROCODILE EATS ESCAPED MURDERER FROM PANAMA; A BIG FUCKIN ASTEROID COMES CLOSE TO HITTING THE EARTH.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0136 07/01/2002 : MENTALLY RETARDED KILLERS ARE SPARED THE DEATH PENALTY; CINDY CRAWFORD MIGHT BE SENT INTO SPACE; SELF HELP ADVICE COLUMNIST ANN LANDERS DIES.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0137 07/08/2002 : STILL HAVING TROUBLE WITH MY BROKEN TOILET; WORLDCOM GOING DOWN THE TOILET; THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE DOESN'T NEED GOD.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0138 07/15/2002 : THE OVERVALUED U.S STOCK MARKET GOING DOWN; TERRORISTS COMING AT US FROM ALL DIRECTIONS; KARYN WANTS YOU TO SAVE HER FROM HER CREDIT CARD DEBT
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0139 07/22/2002 : THE STOCK MARKET IS NOT RUNNING WITH THE BULLS; WORLDCOM CRIMINALS FACE CONGRESS; SNAPPLE COMMERCIALS ARE VERY PROVOCATIVE.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0140 07/29/2002 : MORON CAESAR BARBER WANTS TO SUE FOUR FAST FOOD RESTAURANTS BECAUSE THEY SERVE FATTY FOODS.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0141 08/05/2002 : IT'S SO FUCKIN HOT; CAPTAIN MORGAN GOLD AINT A PUSSY MAGNET; LIONS FUCKING THEIR SIBLINGS; WEST VIRGINIA WES; PILOT WHALES CAN'T DRIVE.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0142 08/12/2002 : SAN FRANCISCO LOOKING INTO GROWING MARIJUANA; RUSSIAN MOBSTER TRIED TO RIG ICE DANCING; CHESTER THE MOLESTER; TEXAS MORONS FIGHTING OVER HEAVEN AND HELL.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0143 08/19/2002 : EUROPEAN FLOODING; SEX DOLL FOUND IN AUSTRIAN LAKE; DUNG FIRED POWER PLANT COMES ONLINE IN LONDON (I'M NOT SHITTING YOU.); DOCTOR LEAVES IN THE MIDDLE OF SURGERY TO CASH CHECK.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0144 08/26/2002 : RADIO DUO OPIE & ANTHONY FIRED AFTER BROADCASTING PLAY BY PLAY OF VIRGINIA COUPLE HAVING SEX IN St PATRICK'S CATHEDRAL; LINKS TO NUN SEX SITES.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0145 09/02/2002 : LET'S ATTACK IRAQ; ELIZABETH SMART'S KIDNAPPER DIES OF A STROKE (FUNNY HA HA - TURNS OUT ANOTHER DUMBFUCK WAS THE ACTUAL KIDNAPPER); TOMATO FIGHT IN BUNOL SPAIN; SCOTT SULLIVAN INDICTED FOR FUCKING UP WORLDCOM; HAVE SEX WITH AN OLD MAN AND INHERIT HIS FORTUNE - SORRY! WOMEN ONLY.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0146 09/09/2002 : PSYCHOLOGICAL DISORDERS CAN BE FUNNY; LONDON ART GALLERY EXHIBITING SEXY COUPLE.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0147 09/16/2002 : REMEMBERING SEPTEMBER 11th; TERROR ALERT SYSTEM; SANTA CRUZ CALIFORNIA OFFICIALS HAND OUT LEGAL MEDICAL MARIJUANA TO PROTEST NEARBY DRUG RAID.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0148 09/23/2002 : READY TO ATTACK IRAQ; AL-QAEDA TERROR CELL IN NEW YORK.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0149 09/30/2002 : AUSTRALIAN RULES FOOTBALL; LET'S ATTACK IRAQ; AL GORE IS IRRELEVANT.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0150 10/07/2002 : TOILET PAPER SLEUTH; SPAIN'S DAIPER TAX; FRENCH BAN ON MIDGET THROWING UPHELD; ENRON'S ANDREW FASTOW IN DEEP SHIT.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0151 10/14/2002 : SNIPER RUNNING LOSE IN WASHINGTON D.C. AREA; LION RAISING BABY ANTELOPES.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0152 10/21/2002 : PRISONERS MEMORIZE THE KORAN TO HAVE THEIR JAIL TIME REDUCED; ZERO TOLERANCE IS TOO STRONG FOR THE VATICAN AND THEIR WORLDWIDE CREW OF HORNY PRIESTS; VATICAN PROPERTY IN MOSCOW USED AS A BROTHEL.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0153 10/28/2002 : DEADLY SNIPER TERRORIZES THE WASHINGTON D.C. AREA; DR SIMMONS AND FRIENDS TRYING TO GET LAID.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0154 11/04/2002 : THE BELTWAY SNIPER; SUICIDE SALLY WANTS TO DIE.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0155 11/11/2002 : BORING POLITICAL ELECTIONS; SODOMY INSANE IS 100% THE LEADER OF IRAQ; FRENCH SEX WORKERS FIGHT FOR THEIR FUCKING RIGHTS.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0156 11/18/2002 : NEW YORK CITY MAYOR MICHAEL BLOOMBERG HAS ANOTHER DUMBFUCK TAX IDEA; GET STAMPS SAFELY.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0157 11/25/2002 : WHY A DATING SERVICE PROBABLY WOULDN'T WORK FOR ME; NIGERIA HAS PROBLEMS WITH THE MISS WORLD BEAUTY PAGEANT; MICHAEL JACKSON JUST AINT RIGHT.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0158 12/02/2002 : I AINT NO ACCOUNTANT; BOMBS DON'T BELONG AT THE DINNER TABLE; THE VIAGRA BANDIT STRIKES AGAIN; THERE'S AN AGE LIMIT ON BREAST MILK.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0159 12/09/2002 : BULL SHARKS ARE SWIMMING INTO AUSTRALIAN RIVERS; WEST VIRGINIA IS TAKING ON SOFTWARE GIANT MICROSOFT.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0160 12/16/2002 : HAVE DRUGS YOUR WAY AT BURGER KING; CARDINAL LAW FORCED TO RESIGN FOR CIRCUMVENTING THE LAW; REPUBLICAN SENATOR TRENT LOTT RUNS HIS MOUTH TOO MUCH.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0161 12/23/2002 : FOSSIL CAUSES LOTT TO RESIGN, DR SIMMONS WACKS OFF.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0162 12/30/2002 : CLONAID CLAIMS TO HAVE CLONED A BABY GIRL; VENEZUELAN NATIONAL WORKER STRIKE AFFECTING MARKETS FOR OIL AND BEER; MAN FROM HURICANE WEST VIRGINIA WINS MILLIONS OF DOLLARS IN THE POWERBALL LOTTERY.
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