WEAKLY COLLUM # 0202
FOR MONDAY 10/06/2003
DR SIMMONS WEAKLY COLLUM IS A WEB COLUMN OF AN ADULT NATURE. IT IS NOT INTENDED TO BE READ BY ANYONE UNDER THE AGE OF 18. DR SIMMONS WEAKLY COLLUM IS THE PROPERTY OF DR SIMMONS. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ANY UNAUTHORIZED USE OF HIS WEAKLY COLLUM IS PROHIBITED.
THEY ARE FUCKIN WITH US. THE TELEMARKETING INDUSTRY IS FUCKIN WITH US. THEY WON'T LEAVE US ALONE. SEVERAL TELEMARKETING ASSOCIATIONS, INCLUDING THE DIRECT MARKETING ASSOCIATION, WENT TO COURT IN DIFFERENT JURISDICTIONS TO BLOCK IMPLEMENTATION OF THE LIST THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BRING US PEACE AND QUIET FROM THESE MOTHER FUCKERS.
THE DO NOT FUCKIN CALL LIST DOESN'T VIOLATE THE RIGHT TO FREE SPEECH AS THESE SICK FUCKS ARGUE. I SHOULD KNOW. I AM A WRITER. I KNOW ALL ABOUT FREE SPEECH. I LIVE FREE SPEECH. THESE TELEMARKETING DICKS AREN'T EXERCISING FREE SPEECH. THEY ARE HARASSING INDIVIDUALS WHO MADE EFFORTS TO AVOID CONTACT WITH THESE GREEDY FARTS IN THEIR OWN HOMES.
YOU OWN THE TELEPHONES. YOU PAY FOR THE PHONE SERVICE. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO DECIDE WHO IS NOT ALLOWED TO REPEAT CALL YOU TRYING TO SELL YOU SOME BULLSHIT. BY SIGNING UP ON THIS OFFICIAL, GOVERNMENT SPONSORED LIST, YOU ARE EXPLICITLY TELLING THESE SALES OBSESSED MOTHER FUCKIN COMPANIES THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO BE CALLED BY THEM ON YOUR TELEPHONES WHICH YOU PAID FOR. DON'T THESE MOTHER FUCKIN BASTARDS GET THE HINT?
THE DO NOT FUCKIN CALL LIST IS LIKE A NO FUCKIN SOLICITING LIST. IT SHOULD BE RESPECTED JUST AS MUCH AS A NO TRESSPASSING SIGN ON YOUR PROPERTY. IT'S LIKE A RESTRAINING ORDER TELLING THESE IGNORANT FUCKS TO STOP HARASSING YOU WITH YOUR OWN TELEPHONE. THAT AINT THEIR FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHT.
WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO TELL THESE INCONSIDERATE BASTARDS "KEEP YOUR FUCKIN AUTODIALERS AWAY YOU STUPID GREEDY SALES ASSHOLES. NO MEANS NO. LEAVE US THE FUCK ALONE YOU SICK BASTARDS." I MAY HAVE TO E-MAIL THEM AND BITCH THEIR SORRY ASSES OUT.
IN MUSIC NEWS, A ROCK BAND WANTS TO COMBINE MUSIC AND SUICIDE IN A CONCERT IN ST PETERSBURG FLORIDA TO RAISE AWARENESS OF THE ISSUE OF TERMINALLY ILL PEEPLE HAVING THE RIGHT TO END THEIR OWN LIVES. "HELL ON EARTH" IS THE ROCK BAND WE SHOULD THANK FOR BRINGING THIS SUICIDE EVENT TO US. I'M JUST GLAD THEY THEY ARE DOING A SUICIDE AND NOT A HOMICIDE.
THE CONCERT WILL BE BROADCAST OVER THE INTERNET LIVE. THE PERFORMANCE WILL BE SEEN IN PERSON BY ONLY A SELECT FEW. (PROBABLY GROUPIES THAT LOVE TO SUCK ROCK MUSICIANS' DICKS) I WISH I WAS A FAMOUS ROCK STAR. I COULD FUCK THEM GROUPIES ALL DAY. I WOULD NEVER GET TIRED OF THEM.
THE DR KIVORKIANS OF MUSIC HAVE BEEN FORBIDDEN FROM PERFORMING THIS CONCERT BY A FLORIDA CIRCUIT JUDGE. BUT THESE STUBBORN EUTHANASIANS ARE DEFIANT IN THEIR GOAL OF PERFORMING THIS KILLER CONCERT. I WAS GONNA GIVE YOU A PLAY BY PLAY OF THE CONCERT, BUT SOMEONE DISABLED THEIR WEBSITE. BECAUSE OF THIS, THE CONCERT HAS BEEN POSTPONED. THE TERMINALLY ILL PERSON GETS TO ENJOY ANOTHER LAST SUPPER.
IN FASHION NEWS, A GROUP OF FASCISTS ARE TERRORIZING THE CHILDREN OF DUNCANVILLE HIGH SCHOOL IN TEXAS. THE POWERS TO BE ARE ENFORCING A STRICT DRESS CODE WITH DRACONIAN PUNISHMENT. SO FAR SEVEN HUNDRED OF THE "WORST" STUDENTS HAVE BEEN SUSPENDED A DAY OR MORE FOR SOMETHING AS LITTLE AS THEIR SHIRT COMING UNTUCKED IN THE BACK. ALL GUNS BROUGHT IN TO SCHOOL BY STUDENTS MUST BE DUST FREE, IN HOLSTERS, AND WORN AT A THIRTY DEGREE ANGLE FROM THE ZIPPER.
THE CLOTHING NAZIS ARE TAKING OVER. WE HAVE NAZIS ALL OVER THE PLACE IN AMERICA. WE HAVE SEX NAZIS TO MAKE SURE THAT WE DON'T HAVE CASUAL SEX. WE HAVE SMOKING NAZIS WHICH WON'T LET BAR PATRONS SMOKE CIGARETTES AND WILL BUST INTO YOUR HOUSE AND ARREST YOU IF YOU SMOKE MARIJUANA. NOW WE GOT THE FASHION NAZIS MAKING SURE THAT WE ALL DRESS ALIKE.
MAYBE IT'S GOOD THAT THE OFFENDING CHILDREN WERE SUPSENDED FOR A DAY. THAT'S ONE LESS DAY OF BEING FUCKED WITH, ONE LESS DAY OF BEING TREATED AS A PEEON, ONE LESS DAY TO BE BRAINWASHED INTO BEING A GOOD OBEDIENT CONFORMIST. I WAS A GOODY GOODY BACK IN MY HIGH SCHOOL DAY, BUT NOW I WOULD BE GLAD TO BE PUNISHED WITH A DAY OFF FROM SCHOOL.
WHAT IS WITH THIS GROWING INTOLERANCE OF INDIVIDUALITY AND PERSONAL FREEDOM IN THIS COUNTRY? WHAT IS WITH THIS FORCED CONFORMITY AND DRACONIAN ENFORCEMENT OF RELATIVELY INSIGNIFICANT RULES? WHY ARE THE PRINCIPAL AND THE SCHOOL BOARD BEING GIVEN SO MUCH POWER OVER YOUR CHILDREN'S LIVES? WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT FREE COUNTRY THAT USED TO BE KNOWN AS AMERICA? LINKS RELATED TO THIS WEEK'S WEAKLY COLLUM
ANTITELEMARKETER.COM — A SITE FEATURING WAYS TO DEAL WITH THOSE TELEMARKETING BASTARDS.
NAKED TEEN AMATEURS — THESE YOUNG LADIES HAVE A DRESS CODE OF THEIR OWN - SHOW AS MUCH PUSSY AND ASS AS POSSIBLE. ADULT CHECK PROTECTED TEEN BOOTY SITE
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