WEAKLY COLLUMS 2003
HERE ARE THE WEAKLY COLLUMS FOR 2003. READ EM ALL! WE ARE GONNA HAVE A QUIZ ON THEM SOON.
WEAKLY COLLUMS FOR 2003
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0163 — 01/06/2003 : DIANA ROSS GETS A LITTLE TIPSY IN PUBLIC; CRAZY CLONAID CLAIMS A SECOND CLONE HUMAN BORN; PARENTS WON'T LET BARBIE GET PREGNANT AT WAL-MART.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0164 — 01/13/2003 : I CAN'T FIND NUDE PICTURES OF THE CROCODILE HUNTER'S WIFE TERRI IRWIN; DUMBFUCK RUN OVER BY VEHICLE HE WAS TRYING TO STEAL; ASININE ADS CREATED BY DUMBFUCKS USING TERRORISM THEME.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0165 — 01/20/2003 : PETE TOWNSEND OF SIXTIES BRITISH MUSICAL GROUP THE WHO GETS IN TROUBLE WITH THE POLICE FOR HIS UNSANCTIONED CHILD PORNOGRAPHY RESEARCH.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0166 — 01/27/2003 : ONE OF MY PSYCHOTHERAPY PATIENTS, CHESTER THE MOLESTER, TALKS ABOUT THE PETE TOWNSEND CHILD PORNOGRAPHY MESS; DUMBASS RELIGIOUS FANATICS HATE HARRY POTTER; DOCTER SIMMONS WANT TO FUCK HARRY POTTER WRITER JK ROWLING; WITCH PORNOGRAPHY LINKS.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0167 — 02/03/2003 : TALK SHOW HOST JERRY SPRINGER RUNS FOR THE SENATE; POSTAL WORKER KIDNAPPED; TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS WIN THE SUPERBOWL OVER THE OAKLAND RAIDERS.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0168 — 02/10/2003 : THE SPACE SHUTTLE CHALLENGER, I MEAN COLUMBIA, BLOWS UP KILLING ALL SEVEN ASTRONAUTS ON BOARD INCLUDING THE FIRST ISRAELI ASTRONAUT; FALLING DEBRIS FROM THE SPACE SHUTTLE COLUMBIA.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0169 — 02/17/2003 : IMMINENT WAR IN IRAQ, NUDE WOMEN PROTESTERS ASCERTING "NO BUSH"; A JAPANESE PROFESSOR WORKS WITH INVISIBILITY, DELL DUDE ARRESTED FOR BEING GEEKY AND ANNOYING, I MEAN BUYING MARIJUANA IN NEW YORK CITY.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0170 — 02/24/2003 : FRANCE FIGHTING HARD TO PREVENT WAR WITH IRAQ; I THOUGHT GERMANY LIKED WAR; HUMAN SHIELDS IN IRAQ; DOLLY THE CLONED SHEEP DIES.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0171 — 03/03/2003 : WHAT YOU CAN DO WITH SNOWBALLS; WOMEN OF COFFEE SHOP CHAIN STARBUCKS TO POSE FOR PLAYBOY; ROMANIAN DUMBFUCK SUING ROPE MAKER AFTER FAILING TO HANG HIMSELF.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0172 — 03/10/2003 : THE SNOW HAS FINALLY ENDED; UGLY TERRORIST KHALID SHEIKH MUHAMMAD IS CAPTURED IN PAKISTAN; CHER GETS HER UGLY WIG BACK.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0173 — 03/17/2003 : AMERICA BOYCOTTING IRAQ WAR VETOING FRANCE; FRENCH FRIES AREN'T EVEN FRENCH; OKLAHOMA CITY'S SHAME TELEVISION LOSES TO THE PROSTITUTES.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0174 — 03/24/2003 : WAR WITH IRAQ IS ABOUT TO START - IT JUST STARTED; CHESTER THE MOLESTER FROM MY FIRST BOOK IS GOOGLED, BANNED AND IMPERSONATED ON THE WEB - ACTUALLY IT'S ANOTHER "CHESTER THE MOLESTER.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0175 — 03/31/2003 : THE WAR WITH IRAQ; I WANT TO FUCK NEWS ANCHOR BABES - ESPECIALLY CHRIS JANSING.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0176 — 04/07/2003 : FORMER CUM STAINED WHITEHOUSE INTERN MONICA LEWINSKY (MOANICA SPEWINSKY) GETS A JOB HOSTING A "REALITY" DATING SHOW; PRIVATE FIRST CLASS JESSICA LYNCH IS RESCUED IN IRAQ.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0177 — 04/14/2003 : ASS KICKING IN IRAQ; SEVERE ACUTE RESPIRATORY SYNDROME; STUPID CATHOLIC NUNS GO TO JAIL FOR COMMITING STUPID CRIMES AT MISSLE SILO; THE VATICAN SEXUAL GLOSSARY REALLY SUCKS.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0178 — 04/21/2003 : EASTER, NICOLE KIDMAN'S NEW LOOK.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0179 — 04/28/2003 : SARS AND ORIENTAL PROSTITUTES; PETA DOESN'T WANT YOU TO HAVE A HAMBURGER IN HAMBURG NEW YORK.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0180 — 05/05/2003 : CROCODILE HUNTER WIFE TERRI IRWIN SHOULD CHOOSE PRETTY OVER GLAMOUR; PETA IS GOING AFTER ANOTHER HAMBURG; SOME PETA LEADER BITCH WANTS TO BE BARBECUED FOR THE CAUSE; BABY HATER BILL.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0181 — 05/12/2003 : MUSICIAN PETE TOWNSEND (UNCLE PETEY) OF THE WHO CLEARED OF CHILD PORNOGRAPHY CHARGES IN BRITAIN; SARS AND FORNICATE FOR A CURE FOR HERPES; JACKASSES REALLY ARE; JACKING OFF - THE SAN FRANCISCO TREAT.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0182 — 05/19/2003 : WHITEHOUSE INTERN MIMI SCREWED JOHN F KENNEDY; COLORADO GYM DOESN'T CLOSE FOR DEATH.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0183 — 05/26/2003 : COAL MINERS PROTEST THE REAL BEVERLY HILLBILLIES AT VIACOM SHAREHOLDER MEETING; DON'T PET KILLER WHALE L98; DON'T SIT ON A MILK CRATE IN NEW YORK CITY EITHER; BABY HATER BILL HATES BABY MONITORS.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0184 — 06/02/2003 : COLORFUL BUS RUNS ON COOKING OIL; HAVE PAID FOR SEX IN A PLANE OVER CHILE.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0185 — 06/09/2003 : McDONALDS SUING ITALIAN FOOD CRITIC FOR SAYING BAD THINGS ABOUT ITS FOOD.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0186 — 06/16/2003 : I WOULD FUCK A HOT FLY-EATING WOMAN; HILLARY CLINTON WRITES TO VENT HER ANGER AND FRUSTRATION WITH STUPID; MONKEYPOX.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0187 — 06/23/2003 : NATURE SAYS FUCK MONOGAMY; JESUS LOVES ME FOR SOME FUCKED UP REASON.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0188 — 06/30/2003 : CATHOLIC BISHOP THOMAS O'BRIEN FUCKS UP AGAIN; NATIONAL PREACHING CONTEST FOR RELIGIOUSLY OBSESSED TEENS.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0189 — 07/07/2003 : BORN TO LOSE INVESTORS LOSE AGAIN; WOMEN MODELS WILL PLAY TACKLE FOOTBALL IN THE LINGERIE BOWL.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0190 — 07/14/2003 : YOU'RE NOT GONNA BAT A THOUSAND BY SWINGING AT SAUSAGES; UPTIGHT CHRISTIAN SCHOOL IN AUSTRALIA DOESN'T LIKE HARRY POTTER BOOKS.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0191 — 07/21/2003 : PAT ROBERTSON HAS NOTHING NICE TO SAY ABOUT SODOMY; THE ANTICIRCUMCISION BABY AND BABY HATER BILL AREN'T GETTING ALONG; PERU SURGEON USES A DRILL AND PLIERS TO DO BRAIN SURGERY.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0192 — 07/28/2003 : ODAI AND QUSAI HUSSEIN ARE KILLED FOR A GOOD CAUSE; MURDERER OF HER OWN CHILDREN SUSAN SMITH WANTS TO BEGIN DATING AGAIN; NAKED PAINTBALL BAMBI HUNTS IN LAS VEGAS FOR HORNY MEN.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0193 — 08/04/2003 : SUPERMARKET CHAIN IN ARGENTINA HAS THEIR CASHIERS IN DIAPERS; BABY HATER BILL.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0194 — 08/11/2003 : 70's POP MUSIC SINGER CARLY SIMON WROTE A SONG ABOUT SOME DUDE; ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER AND EVERYONE ELSE ARE RUNNING FOR CALIFORNIA GOVERNOR.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0195 — 08/18/2003 : BLACKOUT KICKS NEW YORK CITY'S ASS; THE UNABOMBER WANTS HIS PIPE BOMB BACK; PENTHOUSE MAGAZINE IS BROKE; MAN GETS FROSTBITE DURING HEATWAVE IN EUROPE.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0196 — 08/25/2003 : THE SO BIG WORM VIRUS (Sobig.F); WHEN CELL PHONES ATTACK.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0197 — 09/01/2003 : PAMPERS IS USING NUDE BABIES TO SELL DIAPERS; PEDOPHILE PRIEST KILLED IN PRISON; STATUE OF THE TEN COMMANDMENTS GETS THE BOOT; RELIGION KILLS ANOTHER CHILD.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0198 — 09/08/2003 : FORMER CEO OF WORLDCOM BERNIE EBBERS BEING CHARGED IN OKLAHOMA FOR BEING AN ASSHOLE; COUGH YOUR WAY TO GOOD HEALTH; KING MSWATI OF SWAZILAND HAS A GOOD WAY OF FINDING A MATE.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0199 — 09/15/2003 : SOME LIBRARY BITCHES GET UPSET OVER SHUSHING LIBRARIAN FIGURINE; MY LETTER TO PAMPERS AND THEIR REPLY OVER THE ISSUE OF NAKED BABIES IN TV COMMERCIALS.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0200 — 09/22/2003 : MY TWO HUNDREDTH ANNIVERSARY ON THE WEB; RICHARD GRASSO FORCED TO RETIRE FROM THE NEW YORK STOCK EXCHANGE BECAUSE HE MAKES TOO MUCH MONEY.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0201 — 09/29/2003 : NASA IS CRASHING ANOTHER SPACE SHIP; COFFEE IS VERY TAXING SOMETIMES; LOS ANGELES IS DECLARING WAR ON LAP DANCES; EGYPTIAN LAWYER IS JUST AS IMMORAL AND SIMPLE AS AMERICAN LAWYERS.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0202 — 10/06/2003 : FUCKIN BASTARDS TRYING TO CALL OFF THE DO NOT FUCKIN CALL LIST; "HELL ON EARTH" ROCK CONCERT FEATURES MUSIC AND SUICIDE; TEXAS SCHOOL GOING A LITTLE OVERBOARD TO KEEP STUDENTS WELL DRESSED.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0203 — 10/13/2003 : ARNOLD SWARTZY WINS THE GRAND PRIZE IN ECONOMICALLY SINKING (STINKING) CALIFORNIA; NASA FUCKING SPENDING TONS OF AMERICAN TAXPAYER MONEY ON LAUNCHING EXPLODING SPACE SHUTTLES INTO ORBIT.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0204 — 10/20/2003 : SOME WILL KILL FOR WORKMANS COMPENSATION; TALL PEEPLE HAVE MORE THAN A SMALL ADVANTAGE IN THE JOB WORLD.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0205 — 10/27/2003 : HASBRO HAVING A HISSY FIT OVER GHETTOPOLY GAME; GENERAL MOTORS IS BRINGING OUT A CAR FOR YOUNG FRENCH CANADIANS TO MASTURBATE IN; BUTT THE ALLOTTS DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN THAT STINKING HOLE ANYMORE.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0206 — 11/03/2003 : ROCK SCISSORS PAPER CHAMPIONSHIP; ANGELS SOMETIMES COME TO THOSE FUCKED UP IN THE HEAD; ATHEISTS ARE BRIGHT.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0207 — 11/10/2003 : FORMER JAILBIRD WANTS LOWER PHONE RATES FOR FELLOW PRISONER SCUM.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0208 — 11/17/2003 : GOD DOESN'T HELP TEN COMMANDMENTS JUDGE ROY MOORE KEEP HIS JOB; HUSTLER MAGAZINE PUBLISHER LARRY FLYNT ISN'T SHOWING NAKED PICTURES OF SOLDIER JESSICA LYNCH; DINERS IN SEATTLE CAN EAT SUSHI OFF OF A NUDE JAPANESE WOMAN.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0209 — 11/24/2003 : POP SINGER MICHAEL JACKSON ARRESTED FOR HAVING FUN WITH KIDS; RUSSIAN MAN DRINKS HIMSELF TO DEATH WITH VODKA IN ORDER TO BE A WINNER.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0210 — 12/01/2003 : UPTIGHTS AT THOMAS AQUINAS COLLEGE DON'T LIKE HUGH HEFFNER OR PLAYBOY MAGAZINE; IRAQ DONNING DONKEYS IN THE FIGHT AGAINST THE AMERICANS.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0211 — 12/08/2003 : WAL-MART SHOPPERS IN FLORIDA TRAMPLE LADY BECAUSE SHE WAS IN THE WAY.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0212 — 12/15/2003 : I AM SICK IN THE HEAD; MICHAEL JACKSON'S PARENTS WILLING TO RAISE HIS KIDS IF HE LOSES CUSTODY OF THEM; SADDAM HUSSEIN CAPTURED NEAR TIKRIT.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0213 — 12/22/2003 : I HATE CHRISTMAS SHOPPING; GROCERY SHOPPING CAN SUCK TOO; WE NEED GOOD LOOKING WOMEN CASHIERS.
WEAKLY COLLUM # 0214 — 12/29/2003 : MICHAEL JACKSON SAYS THAT IT'S ALL RIGHT TO SLEEP WITH CHILDREN; EARTHQUAKE IN BAM IRAN; MAD COW DISEASE IN AMERICA.
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