WEAKLY COLLUMS 2008
DR SIMMONS FACE - SCREW CIRRHOSIS! I WANT A FUCKIN BEER.

DR SIMMONS WEAKLY COLLUM IS A WEB COLUMN OF AN ADULT NATURE. IT IS NOT INTENDED TO BE READ BY ANYONE UNDER THE AGE OF 18. DR SIMMONS WEAKLY COLLUM IS THE PROPERTY OF DR SIMMONS. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ANY UNAUTHORIZED USE OF HIS WEAKLY COLLUM IS PROHIBITED.

HERE ARE THE WEAKLY COLLUMS FOR 2008.

WEAKLY COLLUMS FOR 2008

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0424 — 01/07/2008 : 2007 CELEBRITY OLDBITCHUARIES; OUR FINANCIAL SYSTEM IS COMING UNGLUED BECAUSE OF DEBT.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0425 — 01/14/2008 : BRITNEY SPEARS GOES CRAZY; HELLO KITTY GOES GUY.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0426 — 01/21/2008 : THE STOCK MARKET IS FINALLY COMING UNGLUED.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0427 — 01/28/2008 : SUZANNE PLESHETTE DIES; GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS TRYING TO BAIL THEMSELVES OUT OF THEIR OWN FINANCIAL MESS.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0428 — 02/04/2008 : JOHN EDWARDS DROPS OUT OF THE RACE TO BE THE LEADER OF TWO AMERICAS; THE ECONOMY IS GOING DOWN DESPITE LOWER INTEREST RATES.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0429 — 02/11/2008 : EBAY IS FUCKING OVER THE SELLER.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0430 — 02/18/2008 : THE COUNTRY WILL LOSE AS THE DEMOCRATS WIN THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0431 — 02/25/2008 : I AM SICK AS A DOG - DOG FLU?

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0432 — 03/03/2008 : HEPATITIS A IS HAPPENING AT THE SOCIALISTA CLUB IN MANHATTAN.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0433 — 03/10/2008 : DAYLIGHT FUCKING SAVINGS TIME; MICHAEL JACKSON MAY LOSE HIS NEVERLAND RANCH TO FORECLOSURE.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0434 — 03/17/2008 : ELIOT SPITZER LEARNS THAT THE HUNTER IS SOMETIMES THE HUNTED.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0435 — 03/24/2008 : THE BEAR MARKET BITES BEAR STEARNS.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0436 — 03/31/2008 : DEATH SUCKS.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0437 — 04/07/2008 : THE GEICO LIZARD AND MRS BUTTERWORTH'S TEAM UP; A LOT OF INDEPENDENT TRUCKERS ARE ACTING INDEPENDENTLY STUPID.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0438 — 04/14/2008 : FUCKIN RUSSIAN DOOMSDAY CULT PART DEUX.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0439 — 04/21/2008 : THE POPE IS CAUSING PROBLEMS FOR US ATHEISTS.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0440 — 04/28/2008 : I AM HELPING BILL MAHER DEAL WITH THE CATHOLICS WHO WANT HIM FIRED FOR TALKING BAD ABOUT THE POPE AND PRIEST PEDOFILES.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0441 — 05/05/2008 : THE UNITED STATES FEDERAL RESERVE IS INFLATING THE FOOD CRISIS.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0442 — 05/12/2008 : SOME DUDE IS GETTING SOME GOOD BUSH (JENNA); EIGHTEEN IS ENOUGH.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0443 — 05/19/2008 : THE INTERNET HAS ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING; HUGE IMMIGRATION RAID NETS SOME ILLEGALS.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0444 — 05/26/2008 : DON'T FRY PIZZA; OIL - HOW HIGH CAN IT CLIMB?

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0445 — 06/02/2008 : HARVEY KORMAN DIES; SINGER SHANIA TWAIN IS SINGLE.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0446 — 06/09/2008 : ROBB DOUGLASS OF ROBB'S CELEBS PORNO SITE DIES.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0447 — 06/16/2008 : NEWSMAN FROM "MEET THE PRESS" TIM RUSSERT DIES; RAPPER / PISSER R KELLY GOES FREE.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0448 — 06/23/2008 : IRAN IS FOND OF NUCLEAR WEAPONS; SOUTH KOREA DOESN'T WANT OUR MEAT.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0449 — 06/30/2008 : COMEDIAN GEORGE CARLIN BITES IT.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0450 — 07/07/2008 : LOSER THROWS SAUSAGE AT HIS MOM.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0451 — 07/14/2008 : HEATHERS; THE STOCK MARKET CRASHING MEANS THAT THE DEBT EXPANSION IS OVER.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0452 — 07/21/2008 : RACIST REPUBLICAN SENATOR JESSE HELMS CROAKS.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0453 — 07/28/2008 : THE UNFREE MARKET OF THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT IS TEARING UP THE AMERICAN ECONOMY.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0454 — 08/04/2008 : YOU SAY TOMATO - I SAY JALAPENO; THE REAL CHINESE OLYMPICS.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0455 — 08/11/2008 : RUSSIA AND GEORGIA GO TO WAR; DR SIMMONS AND GOOD FRIEND GENE BECOME WAR CORRESPONDENTS, AGAIN.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0456 — 08/18/2008 : THERE ARE FAT WOMEN IN AMERICA'S FUTURE.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0457 — 08/25/2008 : THE OLYMPICS - HOTTIES PLAYING VOLLEYBALL.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0458 — 09/01/2008 : THE DRUNK OLYMPICS.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0459 — 09/08/2008 : IN A WORLD NO MORE; THE DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL CONVENTION.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0460 — 09/15/2008 : THE REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION; FANNIE GETS SPANKED; DEADDIE FREDDIE.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0461 — 09/22/2008 : ARE WE NOW COMMUNIST; LENDING BASED ON OVERPRICED HOUSING FUCKED OUR COUNTRY UP.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0462 — 09/29/2008 : THE GOVERNMENT HAS BEEN MANIPULATING THE HOUSING MARKET TO DRIVE IT TO INSANE LEVELS; HOUSING SPECULATORS DESERVE BLAME FOR THE HOUSING MARKET.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0463 — 10/06/2008 : THE GOVERNMENT PASSES THE BANKING BAILOUT; THE DEBT ECONOMY IS COLLAPSING.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0464 — 10/13/2008 : WORLDWIDE MARKETS FALLING APART; "HAVE A COKE AND A - EXPLODING SPERM?"

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0465 — 10/20/2008 : MORE COCA COLA INDUCED EXPLODING SPERM.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0466 — 10/27/2008 : ABSTAIN FROM ABSTINENCE CONTESTS.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0467 — 11/03/2008 : I AINT VOTING.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0468 — 11/10/2008 : PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA AINT GONNA SOLVE OUR DEBT PROBLEMS.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0469 — 11/17/2008 : SHOPPING.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0470 — 11/24/2008 : LET GENERAL MOTORS DIE. LET FORD AND CHRYSLER DIE.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0471 — 12/01/2008 : VIOLENT DUMBFUCKS IN THE MIDDLE EAST. VIOLENT DUMBFUCKS AT WALMART IN LONG ISLAND NEW YORK.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0472 — 12/08/2008 : O.J. SIMPSON SENTENCED TO PRISON FOR MURDER, I MEAN ARMED ROBBERY.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0473 — 12/15/2008 : ILLINOIS GOVERNOR ROD BLAGOJEVICH LIKES TO CUSS WHEN HE COMMITS CRIMES.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0474 — 12/22/2008 : ROD BLAGOJEVICH HATES THE CHICAGO TRIBUNE; BERNIE MADOFF HATES HIS INVESTORS.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 0475 — 12/29/2008 : ISRAEL NEEDS TO KICK ASS IN THE MIDDLE EAST.

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