WEAKLY COLLUMS 2009


DR SIMMONS FACE - SCREW CIRRHOSIS! I WANT A FUCKIN BEER.

DR SIMMONS WEAKLY COLLUM IS A WEB COLUMN OF AN ADULT NATURE. IT IS NOT INTENDED TO BE READ BY ANYONE UNDER THE AGE OF 18. DR SIMMONS WEAKLY COLLUM IS THE PROPERTY OF DR SIMMONS. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ANY UNAUTHORIZED USE OF HIS WEAKLY COLLUM IS PROHIBITED.


HERE ARE THE WEAKLY COLLUMS FOR 2009.


WEAKLY COLLUMS FOR 2009

WEAKLY COLLUM # 047601/05/2009 : 2008 CELEBRITY OLDBITCHUARIES.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 047701/12/2009 : MY BODY IS A LETHAL WEAPON; I HATE THE BCS.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 047801/19/2009 : BARACK OBAMA WILL BECOME PRESIDENT OF A FAILING DEBT SATURATED NATION.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 047901/26/2009 : ROYAL BANK OF SCOTTLAND IS IN THE SHITTER; JOHN THAIN MUST TAKE GOLDEN SHITS AT MERRILL LYNCH.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 048002/02/2009 : ILLINOIS GOVERNOR ROD BLAGOJEVICH IS FIRED; THE GOVERNMENT IS A BUNCH OF IDIOTS.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 048102/09/2009 : MICHAEL PHELPS SMOKES POT; JENNIFER HUDSON AND FAITH HILL DON'T SING.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 048202/16/2009 : WE ARE STIMULATING OUR NATIONAL DEBT.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 048302/23/2009 : OBAMA AND THE GOVERNMENT LOVE OVERPRICED HOUSES.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 048403/02/2009 : IDIOTS IN INDIA AND IN AMERICA.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 048503/09/2009 : WE ARE GOING TO TAX THE RICH TO MAKE THE COUNTRY POOR.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 048603/16/2009 : AN ISSUE DEER TO MY HEART.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 048703/23/2009 : DON'T PRAY FOR A CURE FOR AIDS.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 048803/30/2009 : LET'S GET HIGH ON MEDICAL MARIJUANA.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 048904/06/2009 : MY CARTOON CONFESSION.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 049004/13/2009 : A VERY TAXING TIME.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 049104/20/2009 : I HATE RELIGIOUS FUNERALS.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 049204/27/2009 : CONAGRA IS RIPPING US OFF.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 049305/04/2009 : IF I COULD ONLY INSURE THAT I GET PUSSY FROM THE ESURANCE LADY.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 049405/11/2009 : WHAT ECONOMIC RECOVERY? I INITIATE CONTACT WITH ERIN ESURANCE.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 049505/18/2009 : FORMER FDIC CHAIRMAN AND CNBC CORRESPONDENT BILL SEIDMAN DIES.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 049605/25/2009 : CNBC IS TRYING TO GET ERIN BURNETT KILLED.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 049706/01/2009 : I GOTTA GET A HOLD OF ERIN; I GOTTA GET A HOLD OF ERIN.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 049806/08/2009 : DAVID CARRADINE CROAKS; GENERAL MOTORS CROAKS.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 049906/15/2009 : CARRIE PREJEAN NEEDS TO FUCK INSTEAD OF TALK.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 050006/22/2009 : MY FIVE HUNDRETH ANNIVERSARY ON THE INTERNET.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 050106/29/2009 : CELEBRITIES ARE DYING LIKE MOTHER FUCKERS THIS WEEK.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 050207/06/2009 : PITCHMAN BILLY MAYS DIES.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 050307/13/2009 : JAY BUSH NEEDS TO KEEP DUKE IN LINE.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 050407/20/2009 : BUZZ ALDRIN PISSES ON THE MOON; WALTER CRONKITE DIES.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 050507/27/2009 : WE ARE PISSING AWAY MONEY ON THE SPACE PROGRAM.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 050608/03/2009 : A FEW BEERS IN THE WHITE HOUSE TO CALM RACIAL TENSIONS.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 050708/10/2009 : I MAKE SOME VERY RETARDED COMMENTS.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 050808/17/2009 : I WANT TO BITCH ABOUT SOMETHING.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 050908/24/2009 : WE SHOULDN'T SHOW COMPASSION FOR CANCER SUFFERING TERRORISTS.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 051008/31/2009 : TED KENNEDY GIVES UP HIS SEAT IN CONGRESS - BY DYING.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 051109/07/2009 : ALICIA SILVERSTONE GROWS RAW VEGETABLES IN THE RAW.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 051209/14/2009 : ALIEN DUDE WITH SPACEY WIFE BECOMES LEADER OF JAPAN.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 051309/21/2009 : WE DON'T NEED GOVERNMENT RUNNING HEALTH CARE.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 051409/28/2009 : THE END OF THE WORLD IS HERE, I MEAN NEAR.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 051510/05/2009 : GOVERNMENT FUNDED ORGANIZATION ACORN HELPS ME SET UP MY BUSINESS WHILE I'M IN EARTHQUAKE STRICKEN CALIFORNIA.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 051610/12/2009 : NASA DOES WHAT IT DOES BEST, CRASHES INTO THE MOON; DAVID LETTERMAN FUCKS HOTTIE STEPHANIE BERKITT.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 051710/19/2009 : I HAVE TO BITCH CNBC OUT A THIRD TIME FOR SENDING HOTTIE REPORTER ERIN BURNETT TO STINKY LOW LIFE COUNTRIES LIKE IRAQ.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 051810/26/2009 : WE ARE IN A SELF IMPOSED TIME WARP.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 051911/02/2009 : AMERICA HAS AN INTELLECTUAL DEFICIT AT UNDERSTANDING THE DEFICIT.

WEAKLY COLLUM # 052011/09/2009 : BABY ALIVE TERROR.




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