DR SIMMONS FAMOUS
WOMEN THAT I WOULD
LIKE TO DO PAGE
THE BABES I WOULD LIKE TO FUCK.
WANDA SYKES — SHE IS A BEAUTIFUL FUNNY COMEDIANNE. SHE IS ALSO VERY SMART. SHE GIVES ME A BIG BONER WHEN I LOOK AT HER. I WOULD LOVE TO GET SOME OF THAT BLACK SUGAR. SHE HAS CREAMY SMOOTH SKIN AND I WOULD LOVE TO SQUIRT MY CREAMY CUM ALL OVER HER BODY. I APPRECIATE HER BOTH FOR HER HUMOR AND FOR HER FUCKABILITY.
VIRGINIE LEDOYEN — HER PARENTS NAMED HER VIRGINIA BUT COULDN'T GET THE SPELLING RIGHT. I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEIR LAST NAME WAS, BUT THAT LOOKS MISPELLED TOO. OH WELL! THOSE MISTAKES ARE SECONDARY TO HER BEAUTY. I WOULD LOVE TO FUCK HER. I WOULD TREAT HER REAL NICE. I COULD PLEASE HER. I JUST WISH SHE WOULD GIVE ME A CHANCE.
TERRY FARRELL — THIS BABE PLAYED ON STAR TREK DEEP SPACE NINE. (SOMETIMES WHEN I AM DRUNK I CALL IT DEEP PUSSY NINE.) I WOULDN'T MIND GETTING SOME ALIEN PUSSY IF ALL ALIENS LOOKED LIKE HER.
SUSAN LUCCI — SHE PLAYS ERICA CANE ON ALL MY CHILDREN. SHE IS SO SWEET LOOKING. I WOULD EVEN CUDDLE WITH HER AFTER WE DID OUR BUSINESS. OF COURSE I WOULD WIPE MY JISM OFF HER TITS FIRST SO THAT IT DOESN'T END UP ON ME. AFTER TWENTY YEARS, I'M GLAD SHE FINALLY FUCKIN WON AN EMMY, OR A GRAMMY, OR AN OSCAR OR SOME TYPE OF FAMOUS HOLLYWOOD AWARD. I DON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. IS THERE A DIFFERENCE?
SHELLY LONG — SHE PLAYED DIANE ON THE LONG RUNNING SITCOM, CHEERS. SHE PLAYED AN INTELLECTUAL ON THAT SHOW. BUT HER INTELLIGENCE DOESN'T MEAN THAT MUCH TO ME - THE SAME AS WITH OTHER GOOD LOOKING WOMEN. I'M JUST THINKING ABOUT HER LOOKS. I REALLY WANT TO DO HER. I WISH SHE WOULD WRITE ME. I LONG FOR SHELLY LONG.
SHARON CASE — SHE IS ANOTHER SOAP OPERA BABE. SHE PLAYS SHARON NEWMAN (OR NEW WOMAN) ON THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS. SHE HAS A REAL SWEET LOOK TOO. HER YOUNG BODY GETS ME RESTLESS. I WOULD LIKE TO EAT HER OUT AND THEN FUCK HER, AND THEN HAVE HER COOK DINNER FOR ME.
SHANIA TWAIN — SHE IS ONE OF THE BEST LOOKING SINGERS I HAVE EVER SEEN. RIGHT NOW SHE HAS THE BEST CUNT IN COUNTRY MUSIC. I WOULD LOVE TO TEAR INTO IT. I WOULD HAVE TO DO SOME CALESTHENICS TO WARM UP FIRST SINCE SHE COULD REALLY HURT ME.
SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR — SHE PLAYS ON THAT SHOW, BUFFY, THE VAMPIRE SLAYER. I WOULD LOVE TO BOINK HER. I'D BE BITING HER NECK LIKE A VAMPIRE WAITING FOR HER TO SLAY ME WITH THAT AWESOME BODY.
PHOEBE CATES — SHE WAS ONE OF THE BABES FROM THAT GREAT FILM, FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH. I'VE FOUND A LOT OF NAKED PICTURES OF HER ON THE INTERNET. IN ONE SHE SHOWS HER ASS WHEN SHE AND HER FELLOW GRADUATES MOONED THE ESTABLISHMENT. NEXT TIME SHE SHOWS HER CHEEKS LIKE THAT, I WILL STICK MY TONGUE IN BETWEEN THEM. AND A THOUSAND KING'S HORSES AND A THOUSAND KING'S MEN WON'T BE ABLE TO GET IT OUT.
PAULINA PORIZKOVA — SHE IS A SUPER MODEL THAT LOOKS SUPER GOOD. I SAW A PICTURE OF HER NAKED WITH A BABY ON HER BARE CHEST. I WISH I WAS THAT BABY. I WOULD BE INNOCENTLY SUCKING THE MILK OUT OF HER VERY NICE BOOBIES. I WOULD BE WILLING TO COMPROMISE AND LET THE BABY SUCK ON ONE BREAST WHILE I SUCK ON THE OTHER. CAUSE I AM A NICE GUY. I KNOW HOW IMPORTANT BREAST MILK IS TO A NEWBORN BABY.
MELISSA GILBERT — AS A TEENAGER SHE WAS LAURA INGALLS ON LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRARIE. SHE TURNED OUT NICE WHEN SHE GREW UP. REALLY NICE. I WOULD LIKE TO DRIVE MY COVERED WAGON ALONG HER PRARIE. (OR UNCOVERED WAGON IF SHE DIDN'T MAKE ME USE A CONDOM.)
MELINDA CULEA — SHE PLAYED SOME REPORTER BABE ON THAT FANTASTIC ACTION SHOW, THE A TEAM. THAT SHOW IS STILL ON IF YOUR CABLE SYSTEM HAS TV LAND. SHE WAS ONLY ON THAT SHOW FOR A SHORT TIME, BUT IT WAS ENOUGH TO GET MY INTEREST. SHE IS NATURALLY PRETTY AND DOESN'T NEED TO DO ANYTHING TO DRAW ATTENTION TO HERSELF, SUCH AS TALK OR POSE A CERTAIN WAY OR PUT ON A LOT OF COSMETICS LIKE A LOT OF THESE BITCHES TODAY THAT THINK THEY ARE PRETTY.
MAUREEN McCORMICK — SHE PLAYED MARCIA ON THE BRADY BUNCH. WHENEVER I HEAR THE PHRASE "MARCIA MARCIA MARCIA" I THINK TO MYSELF "PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY" BECAUSE THAT IS SOME MIGHTY FINE PUSSY. I WOULD LOVE TO GET SOME BRADY PUSSY IN MY LIFETIME. SUSAN OLSON LOOKS GOOD NOW TOO. BUT MARCIA HAS ALWAYS LOOKED GOOD, SO SHE IS THE ONE THAT I NEED TO FUCK.
MARILU HENNER — THIS BABE PLAYED ON THE TV SERIES, TAXI. I WOULD LOVE TO FUCK HER IN A TAXI. SHE SEEMS LIKE SOMEONE THAT I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO B.S. INTO BED. BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW ELSE TO DO IT. I'M GETTING HORNY JUST WRITING ABOUT HER. I THINK I'M GONNA CALL UP ONE OF MY HOOKERS RIGHT AWAY.
MARIA OSMOND — THIS INNOCENT LADY CAUGHT MY HEART (OR PENIS) MANY YEARS AGO WHEN I SAW HER IN THE DONNY AND MARIE OSMOND SHOW. SHE IS SO SWEET AND INNOCENT. SHE IS THE KIND OF LADY WHO WOULD STILL HAVE AN INNOCENT LOOKING FACE EVEN IF SHE HAD CUM ON IT. SHE HAS SEVEN KIDS. I WONDER HOW THAT HAPPENED. I'M NOT SURE, BUT SHE MIGHT STILL BE A VIRGIN. MAYBE SHE GOT PREGNANT BY ARTIFICIAL INSPERMINATION. IT'S POSSIBLE THAT SHE ACTUALLY SPREAD HER LEGS TO LET HER HUSBAND'S DICK IN AND TO LET SOME BABIES COME OUT. IF SHE DID, SHE MUST HAVE PUT OUT SEVEN TIMES - ONCE FOR EACH KID. I WISH SHE WOULD PUT OUT ONE TIME FOR ME.
MARIAH CAREY — SHE IS A SINGER WITH CREAMY SMOOTH SKIN. AND HER LOOKS MAKE MY PANTS CREAMY. I'M NOT INTO HER MUSIC AT ALL, BUT I WOULD LIKE TO GET INTO HER PANTS. I'M SURE SHE HAS NO INTEREST IN SLEEPING WITH ME. MAYBE IF WE DID BONG HITS TOGETHER SHE WOULD BE MORE RECEPTIVE TO ME SCREWING HER.
MADOLYN SMITH — SHE IS THE AWESOME CLASSY LOOKING BABE THAT PLAYED IN THAT GREAT CHEVY CHASE FILM, FUNNY FARM. SHE WAS ALSO IN OTHER MOVIES SUCH AS URBAN COWBOY. FOR SOMEONE THIS BEAUTIFUL, I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW FRICKEN DIFFICULT IT IS TO FIND PICTURES OF HER ON THE INTERNET. ANY PICTURES AT ALL.
MADELEINE STOWE — THIS IS AN ACTRESS THAT IS TOO BEAUTIFUL FOR ME TO EVEN FANTASIZE ABOUT BEING WITH SINCE MY MIND COULD NEVER PRETEND THAT GOOD. SHE IS MARRIED TO THE GUY FROM THAT WEIRD BUT GOOD SHOW, DREAM ON, BRIAN BENBEN. HE HAS A WEIRD NAMENAME. I WISH I WAS HIMHIM BECAUSE THAT IS SOME MIGHTY FINE ASS TO HAVE TIED DOWN THROUGH MARRIAGE. HE GETS TO FUCK HER AT WILL. (UNFORTUNATELY IT'S HER WILL AS IT IS IN MOST MARRIAGES.) STILL HE IS LIVING IN LUXURY BABE WISE. HE KNOWS WHAT HER PUSSY SMELLS LIKE AND EVERYTHING.
MADCHEN AMICK — SHE'S A MOVIE STAR. I GUESS. I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANY OF HER MOVIES. I DON'T EVEN KNOW THE NAMES OF ANY OF THEM. I JUST GOT REAL HORNY FOR HER WHEN I FOUND SOME PICTURES OF HER NUDE ON THE INTERNET. I WANT HER.
LINDA CARTER — SHE PLAYED WONDER WOMAN. THAT WAS A SUPER HERO SHOW FROM THE SEVENTIES. SHE LOOKED AWESOME IN HER SKIMPY SUPER HERO OUTFIT. SHE IS STILL A BABE SEVERAL DECADES LATER. I DON'T APPROVE OF HER INVISIBLE AIRPLANE, THOUGH. THE FAA IS HAVING ENOUGH PROBLEMS KEEPING AIRPLANES FROM CRASHING INTO EACH OTHER AS IT IS. THEY SHOULD GROUND THE MOTHER FUCKER.
LEA THOMPSON — SHE PLAYED IN THE BACK TO THE FUTURE MOVIES AS WELL AS OTHER STUFF. SHE IS BABELISCIOUS TO USE A WAYNE'S WORLD EXPRESSION. SHE'S MARRIED NOW SO I GUESS I DON'T HAVE MUCH CHANCE OF STEALING HER VIRGINITY.
KATIE HOLMES — SHE IS AN ACTRESS WITH SUCH A SWEET BEAUTIFUL FACE. SHE COULD TURN THE WORLD ON WITH A SMILE. SHE COULD TAKE A NOTHING DAY AND SUDDENLY MAKE IT ALL SEEM WORTHWHILE. NO WAIT! THAT'S MARY TYLER MOORE. I'M GETTING CONFUSED NOW. SHE COULD PROBABLY TURN THE WORLD ON WITH A SMILE TOO. I'M TURNED ON AND SMILING WHENEVER I THINK OF HER.
KATHY IRELAND — THIS BEAUTY WAS A SUPER MODEL WHO HAS A KILLER FACE. I SAW A PAPARAZZI PHOTO ON THE INTERNET WHERE THEY TOOK A PICTURE UP HER DRESS WITH HER COOTER EXPOSED. I'M GLAD. SHE'S BEEN TEASING US WITH HER BODY FOR YEARS WITHOUT LETTING US SEE THE WHOLE THING. SHE HAS A REALLY NICE FACE TO LOOK AT BUT I WANT TO SEE PINK TOO.
JULIA SAWALHA — SHE PLAYED THE GOODY GOODY SAPHIE ON THE BRITISH COMEDY, ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS. SHE LOOKS GOOD WITH HER GLASSES. I WOULD FUCK HER AND MAKE HER GLASSES FOG UP. BUT SHE COULD MAKE MY CONTACTS FOG UP. I WOULDN'T MIND THAT. I WOULDN'T MIND THAT AT ALL.
JEWEL — NO LAST NAME, JUST JEWEL. I WOULD FUCK THE HELL OUT OF THIS BLONDE BITCH, EXCEPT THAT SHE WON'T LET ME. SHE IS A MUSICIAN OF SOME TYPE. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TYPE BECAUSE I DON'T LISTEN TO HER MUSIC. SHE WAS POPULAR AS A BABE WITH THE DUDES UNTIL BRITNEY SPEARS HIT THE SCENE. AFTER THAT, NO ONE KNEW WHO THE FUCK SHE WAS.
JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT — I LOVE JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT. SHE CAN BE A DINGBAT AT TIMES, BUT SHE IS SUCH A SWEETHEART OF A DINGBAT. SHE IS OLD ENOUGH TO GET NAKED IN MOVIES AND I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THAT SHE DO IT. FOR MY SAKE ANYWAY.
JENNIFER LOPEZ — SHE'S THAT FINE LOOKING WOMAN THAT PLAYED IN THAT BIG SNAKE MOVIE, ANACONDA. I WOULD LOVE TO SLITHER MY SNAKE INTO HER CRACKS. (BOTH FRONTSIDE AND BACKSIDE) SHE IS ALSO A SINGER OR ATTEMPTED SINGER. SHE IS HANGING AROUND RAPPERS SO THAT AINT GONNA HELP HER MUSICALLY. I DOWNLOADED PICTURES OF HER OFF THE INTERNET WITH HER BOOBIES REVEALED, BUT I HAVEN'T SEEN ANY WITH HER PUSSY OR HER NAKED ASS YET. HOPEFULLY THEY WILL BE SOON FORTHCOMING. AT ONE OF THE AWARDS CEREMONIES ON TV, SHE HAD AN AWESOME LOOKING DRESS THAT WAS A MISNOMER SINCE SHE WAS ALMOST UNDRESSED WEARING IT. I DON'T KNOW IF IT WAS TAPED ON OR STUCK TO HER BODY BY SWEAT, BUT SHE LOOKED NICE IN IT. YOU COULD SEE ALMOST EVERYTHING. I WAS HOPING IT WOULD FALL OFF SO THAT I COULD SEE HER SLIT. THAT DRESS WAS A BOOTY CALL. I THINK I'M GONNA ANSWER IT. DO ANY OF YOU OUT THERE HAVE HER NUMBER?
JENNIFER CONNELLY — SHE IS ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFULLEST GIRLS IN THE WORLD. AND I MEAN IT. I REALLY DO MEAN IT. I CREATED THIS PAGE WITH WOMEN LIKE HER IN MIND. SHE HAS A REALLY SWEET PLEASANT FACE AND A BEAUTIFUL SMILE. AND SHE HAS A REALLY NICE ASS. I WISH I COULD GET A PIECE OF IT.
JENNIFER ANISTON — SHE IS THE STAR OF THAT HIT SHOW, FRIENDS. I GUESS IT'S A HIT SHOW. I DON'T WATCH IT MUCH, BUT OTHER PEEPLE DO. SHE ALSO DID SOME MOVIES BUT SHE HASN'T SHOWN US MUCH SKIN. AND THIS IS REALLY PISSING ME OFF. I THINK I'M GONNA WRITE HER AND TELL HER TO GET NAKED MORE IN HER MOVIES. I SHOULD PROBABLY JUST E-MAIL HER SINCE I AM TOO LAZY TO ACTUALLY WRITE A LETTER IN THE REAL WORLD. SHE DID GET NAKED AND EXPOSED HER SWEET ASS ON THE COVER OF THE ROLLING STONE A FEW YEARS AGO. SHE'S GOT TO DO THAT MUCH MORE OFTEN. DON'T YOU AGREE?
JANEANE GAROFALO — SHE IS A COMEDIAN THAT I OFTEN SEE ON COMEDY CENTRAL. SHE IS JUST GENUINE PRETTY. SHE HAS A HAPPY PRETTY LOOK. I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE IN THE BUFF. BUT SHE DOESN'T WANT TO GET NAKED FOR THE CAMERA. I DON'T KNOW WHAT HER PROBLEM IS. MAYBE SHE IS SHY. IF SHE AINT GONNA EXPOSE HERSELF VOLUNTARILY, THEN WE NEED SOME PAPARAZZI PHOTOGRAPHERS TO TAKE SOME MORE REVEALING PICTURES OF HER WHEN SHE IS OFF GUARD.
JANE SEYMOUR — SHE PLAYED ON THAT DR QUINN MEDICINE WOMAN SHOW. I GUESS SHE WAS A DOCTOR. I DON'T KNOW. I NEVER WATCHED THE SHOW. I WISH SHE WOULD PLAY HEAD NURSE INSTEAD. I WOULD ALWAYS ASK HER TO TREAT ME ACCORDING TO HER JOB DESCRIPTION. AND I WOULD EAGERLY RETURN THE FAVOR. I SAW SOME PICTURES OF HER ON THE INTERNET THAT WERE SUPPOSEDLY FROM PLAYBOY. ALL I COULD SEE IS TITS. THAT'S NOT ENOUGH. I NEED TO SEE MORE OF JANE SEYMOUR.
HEATHER GRAHAM — HOPEFULLY NO RELATION TO BILLY GRAHAM - THE FUCKED UP RELIGIOUS KNUCKLEHEAD. THIS FINE BABE RECENTLY PLAYED IN SOME MOVIE WITH EDDIE MURPHY. I HOPE EDDIE MURPHY GOT SOME OF THAT FINE ASS WHILE WORKING WITH HER SINCE I WILL NEVER GET ANY FROM HER, AND NEITHER WILL ANY OF YOU SMUCKS. I SAW PICTURES OF HER NAKED ELSEWHERE AND BOY DOES SHE LOOK NICE. HER BOOBS LOOK REAL. THEY ARE JUST THE RIGHT SIZE. I HATE FAKE BOOBS. I LIKE HER BOOBS BECAUSE I COULD SQUIRT MY LOAD ON THEM AND I WOULD KNOW THAT I AM DOUSING THE REAL THING.
ERIN GRAY — SHE CO STARED ON THE TV SERIES, BUCK ROGERS. I'LL BET GIL GERARD GOT SOME OF THAT ASS. HE IS GOOD LOOKING AND HAS A GOOD PERSONALITY. SHE LATER PLAYED ON THAT EIGHTIES SITCOM, SILVER SPOONS. I WOULD LOVE TO PLAY SILVER SPOONS WITH HER. CUDDLE UP WITH HER. AND HOLD HER TIGHT. REAL TIGHT. THEN WHEN SHE IS OFF GUARD, LIFT UP HER BLOUSE AND PANTIES AND SLIP BIG DADDY INTO HER UNSUSPECTING COOTER.
DEMI MOORE — DEMI MOORE IS A BABE THAT HAS NOT BEEN AFRAID TO SHOW HER NAKED BODY IN THE MOVIES AND ELSEWHERE. SHE HAS A REAL NICE FACE - SOMETHING ESSENTIAL TO BEING ON MY LIST AS YOU PROBABLY HAVE ALREADY FIGURED OUT BY NOW. EVEN WITH THE FAKE BOOBS SHE STILL GETS ME HOT. NOW THAT SHE AND BRUCE WILLIS HAVE WENT SEPARATE WAYS, EVERYTHING IS SET FOR ME TO MAKE MY MOVE. WISH ME LUCK!
DEBBIE DUNNING — THIS IS THE TOOLTIME BABE FROM THAT GREAT SHOW, HOME IMPROVEMENT. SHE COULD GIVE MY TOOL A GOOD TIME. AND SHE KNOWS IT TOO, BUT SHE WON'T LET ME ANYWHERE NEAR HER. SHE GOT A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST ME SIMPLY BECAUSE SHE READ SOME OF MY WRITINGS AND FELT SCARED AS HELL OF ME FROM THAT. ACTUALLY A LOT OF WOMEN HAVE DONE THAT.
DAWN WELLS — SHE PLAYED THE DOWN TO EARTH HOMETOWN GIRL, MARY ANN ON THAT WEIRD SCREWED UP SHOW THAT I USED TO WATCH ALL THE TIME, GILLIGAN'S ISLAND. GILLIGAN SHOULD HAVE BEEN GETTING SOME OF THAT PUSSY. MAYBE HE WAS. MAYBE HE WAS JUST ACTING STUPID AND LIKE A TOTAL NERD WITH WOMEN. MAYBE SHE PUT OUT FOR HIM ONLY BECAUSE HER OTHER THREE MALE CHOICES ON THE ISLAND WERE EVEN WORSE AND GINGER DIDN'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING LESBIAN. IT'S JUST A HYPOTHESIS.
DAISY FUENTES — THIS BABE DID STUFF FOR MUSIC TELEVISION FOR A WHILE. I DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE IS DOING NOW. I'VE SEEN SOME PICTURES OF HER WHERE SHE IS SHOWING SOME SKIN BUT IS NOT QUITE SHOWING YOU ANYTHING REVEALING SUCH AS HER ASS, TITS, OR PUSSY. ACTUALLY ALMOST EVERY PICTURE OF HER IS LIKE THAT. WHY DOES SHE TEASE ME LIKE THAT?
CLAUDIA CHRISTIAN — SHE PLAYED COMMANDER IVANOVA ON THAT ALMOST STAR TREK SHOW, BABALON FIVE. I'M NOT A CHRISTIAN BUT I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO FUCK HER ANYWAY. IF SHE LET ME, I'D BE TEARING HER UP IN BED. IT WOULD PROBABLY TAKE SIX BIG GUYS TO PULL ME OFF HER.
CHRISTIE BRINKLEY — SHE WAS A SUPERMODEL THAT HAS A BEAUTIFUL SMILE. SHE PLAYED ALONG SIDE CHEVY CHASE IN THAT AWESOME COMEDY, NATIONAL LAMPOON'S VACATION. BILLY JOEL WAS TEARING THAT FINE PUSSY UP FOR A WHILE. THEN SHE DIVORCED HIS ASS AND MOVED ON TO ANOTHER SMUCK. I FEEL BAD FOR HIM. HE WAS A GOOD GUY SCORING WITH A BABE THAT WAS WAY OVER HIS HEAD. (AND PROBABLY SITTING ON HIS HEAD SOMETIMES) I'LL BET HE MISSES HER IN BED. AT LEAST HE GOT HIS FIFTEEN MINUTES OF HAPPINESS.
CATHERINE McCORD — SHE IS THE BABE FROM THE MTV SEX ADVICE SHOW, LOVELINE. MAN SHE IS BEAUTIFUL. THERE IS NO BURNED OUT PORN STAR LOOK TO HER. SHE IS SO SWEET LOOKING. I LOVE HER SMILE. SHE SEEMS VERY SECURE WITH HERSELF. I WOULD BE VERY INSECURE WITH HER, THOUGH. I'D BE LIKE A HELPLESS CHILD AROUND HER. BUT I WANT TO BE WITH HER ANYWAY. HEY CATHERINE! HOW WOULD YOU LIKE A BIG FAT PENIS INSIDE OF YOU? WELL HOW ABOUT MY SHORT THIN PENIS INSTEAD?
CATHERINE BACH — SHE PLAYED DAISY DUKE ON THAT WONDERFUL TELEVISION SHOW, DUKES OF HAZZARD. I WONDER HOW MANY TIMES DAISY DUKE GAVE A GUY SOME HAPPINESS IN THE GENERAL LEE. I WONDER IF SHE PUT OUT FOR HER COUSINS, BO AND LUKE. SHE PROBABLY DID. I REALLY WISH I WAS ONE OF THEM. WOMEN LIKE HER ARE THE PRIMARY CAUSE OF INCEST.
BROOKE SHIELDS — BROOKE SHIELD FIRST INTRIGUED ME IN A SEXUAL WAY (GOT ME HORNY) WHEN I SAW HER IN THE MOVIE, BLUE LAGOON. SHE GOT NUDE UNDER WATER. I COULDN'T SEE HER PINK GLORY, BUT THAT WAS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME AT THE TIME. I GOT BLUE BALLS FROM WATCHING BLUE LAGOON. I WANTED TO COPULATE WITH HER SO BAD. I TORE MYSELF UP WACKING OFF THE NEXT DAY. TOO BAD SHE WENT ON SOME VIRGINITY THING WHERE SHE WOULDN'T PUT OUT UNTIL YEARS AFTER SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN. YOU CAN'T HAVE A FACE AND BODY THAT GOOD AND KEEP IT FROM THE REST OF THE WORLD LIKE SHE DID. AND THEN SHE GOT MARRIED TO ANDRE AGASSI. BUT ANDRE WAS MORE INTERESTED IN PLAYING TENNIS THAN IN PLAYING AROUND IN BED WITH HIS GODDESS OF A WIFE. AND HE EVENTIUALLY LET HER GO. WHAT A DUMBFUCK!
BRITNEY SPEARS — SHE'S A SINGER, I GUESS. I DON'T KNOW FOR SURE SINCE I DON'T LISTEN TO HER MUSIC. IF I DID, IT WOULD JUST BE A DISTRACTION FROM HER IMMENSE BEAUTY. I'M GLAD SHE'S FINALLY LEGAL SO THAT I DON'T GET ARRESTED FOR MASTURBATING TO THOUGHTS AND IMAGES OF UNDERAGE BEAUTIFUL GIRLS. NOW SHE HAS NO EXCUSE NOT TO GET NAKED FOR THE CAMERA. I THINK I'M GONNA E-MAIL HER AND TELL HER THAT.
ASHLEY LAWRENCE — SHE IS THE GORGEOUS ACTRESS WHO SHOWED HER SUCCULENT BREASTS IN TRIPLE CROSS AND THE MOVIE SHOWED SOME GUY SUCKING ON THEM. I WAS BEATING OFF LIKE A MOTHER FUCKER. BILLY DEE WILLIAMS, THE ULTIMATE STUD WITH WOMEN, WAS IN THAT MOVIE AND WASN'T GETTING ANY FROM HER. I'LL BET HE WAS REAL PISSED OFF. I HAD A FUCKIN HARD TIME FINDING HER NAKED PICTURES ON THE INTERNET THOUGH. THERE ARE TOO MANY PICTURES OF THAT HEAVILY OVERATED STUPID FAKE LOOKING DINGBAT, PAMELA ANDERSON LEE, WHO LOVES BEING SLAPPED SILLY BY HER MENTALLY ARRANGED HUSBAND, THAT THERE AREN'T ENOUGH PICTURES OF THE REALLY BEAUTIFUL WOMEN FOR GUYS LIKE ME TO DOWNLOAD AND WACK OFF TO.
ARA MINA — THIS BABE IS A FOREIGNER AND IT SHOWS YOU ALL THAT MY KNOWLEDGE OF BEAUTIFUL WOMEN GOES BEYOND AMERICAN CELEBRITIES. WITH THE INTERNET AND ALL THAT, WE LIVE IN THE GLOBAL AGE. THAT MEANS IT IS THE GLOBAL AGE OF PUSSY TOO. THIS PHILLIPINE BABE IS A MODEL WITH A SWEET FACE AND SHE HAS POSED NUDE TOO. SHE IS SO BEAUTIFUL. I WOULD KILL FOR HER. I DON'T KNOW WHO I WOUILD KILL, OTHERWISE I WOULD HAVE DONE IT ALREADY.
ANNA KOURNIKOVA — THIS RUSSIAN BEAUTY PLAYS TENNIS AND TENNIS UNIFORMS AREN'T THE BEST AT HIDING A WOMAN'S BODY. AND THEY SHOULDN'T BE. I LIKE LOOKING AT PICTURES OF HER WITH HER NIPPLES POTRUDING FROM HER TENNIS ATTIRE. IT REALLY GIVES ME A HEAD OF STEAM. SHE CAN PLAY WITH MY FUZZY BALLS ANY TIME. I'M GONNA TELL HER THAT. YOU KNOW THAT I LIKE ATHLETIC WOMEN. IT'S JUST THAT THEY DON'T OFTEN LIKE ME.
ANDIE MCDOWELL — SHE HAS DONE SOME MOVIES THAT REALLY GOT ME HORNY. SHE DID SEX, LIES, AND VIDEOTAPE. I DID SOME HEAVY BEATING OFF TO THAT ONE. LATER SHE DID A GREAT MOVIE WITH BILL MURRAY CALLED GROUNDHOG DAY. IN THAT MOVIE, BILL MURRAY EXPERIENCED A TIME WARP WHERE GROUNDHOG DAY KEPT REPEATING ITSELF. THIS GAVE HIM A CHANCE TO LEARN FROM HIS MISTAKES AS HE TRIED OVER AND OVER TO SCORE WITH ANDIE'S CHARACTER - WHATEVER THE FUCK HER NAME WAS IN THAT MOVIE. I WISH I COULD DO THAT. I MAKE SO MANY MISTAKES WITH WOMEN; IT'S PATHETIC. I NEED A FEW SECOND CHANCES.
ALICIA SILVERSTONE — THIS BLONDE BEAUTY PLAYED BATGIRL IN THE MOVIE, BATMAN AND ROBIN. OH MY GOD SHE IS SWEET LOOKING. SHE IS THE TYPE OF GIRL THAT WOULD NEVER PUT OUT FOR SOMEONE LIKE ME. ACTUALLY ALL OF THESE BABES ARE THE TYPE OF WOMEN THAT WOULD NEVER PUT OUT FOR GUYS LIKE ME. I REALLY ENVY THE LUCKY SMUCK WHO IS TAGGING THAT ASS.
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