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February 28, 2001
II had to call your old work today because of some glasses that the store by me didn't have in stock. The person on the recoreded message sounded like you with a cold. God damn it. Just when i think i'm doing okay and i know i will never see you again, something like this happens. Will you at least just talk to me. Tell me to fuck off? Tell me that you're alive.
posted at 11:07 PM
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February 27, 2001
my new bracelet:
it rocks.
posted at 9:03 PM
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February 26, 2001
Do you ever see someone or read about someone who is just so goddamned cool that you can't get over it?
I'm not talking about those famous people or famous dead people or people you could never be. I'm talkin the run of the mill, joe schmoe just like you type person.
Man....i'm reading this journal (i won't link to it just yet because I don't want you to know just how cool i am not) and it totally inspires me.
She's fucking cool ass rock. I normally am not one to say that I am envious of another girl. i'm usually like those nasty dogs that bark at other dogs. I get jealous very easily. But I can't dislike this girl. She's funny, she's cool, she's emo, she's silly...and she doesn't give a shit. She's herself and man that's great to see.
The thing that's holding me back from writing her is that she is best friends with the girlfriend of one of my ex's. (does that make sense?) Small world n'est ce pas?
Oh well. I guess i'll get up my courage soon enough.
The problem with this is, i don't want to come off as some psycho stalker girl. I may have to put some thought into this.
I think it also has to do with the apparent regression that is taking place in my personality. I am yearning for the things I used to do when I was 18...I'm yearing for dressing stupid and not caring...I'm yearning for going out at 2am and just being stupid....i'm yearning for taking pleasure in the mundane.
Its odd, though, because you usually expect these types of feelings in people that missed out on their late teen years. You know those oh so formative 'independent' years
Like 18-22
Those were the best fucking years of my life...actually more like 18-21.
I did so much, I had so much...
and its not like I missed out on anything.
SO why do i want to go back to it? That's the curious thing. I should start enjoying those 25-30 years. But really, what's that all about? who wears pigtails at 25?
I still plan on going to the clubs when i'm 40 ...but still, something about this whole aging thing gets me down, really.
oh well, i've got to run for now because my friend is leaving for japan tomorrow and i've got to drive her to the airport.
ta...
listening to: the white stripes - "you're pretty good lookin for a girl"
posted at 12:26 AM
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February 25, 2001
just for you...
i'm still here.
posted at 7:20 PM
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February 24, 2001
"do something pretty while you can, don't be afraid"
i sit here and smoke, debating on whether or not to buy a weezer ticket on ebay or pay my car payment. *grin*
come on...its WEEZER for shits sake.
i missed getting tickets by 4 minutes. Jackasses at ticketmaster.
a friend of mine in arizona has two tickets to the LA show but no one to go with. Now...how do i get to arizona?
It'd be cheaper to go to the detroit show...you know how it is.
weeeeeeeeezer weeeeezer weeeeeeeeezer...
its just not fair. though i must not be a very good fan. If it were morrissey, you know i would have been first in line to get tickets. oh well...
priorities i guess.
posted at 9:53 PM
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two things:
one: i am officially no longer a producer. I was terminated from my place of employment as of 2-22-01due to "restructuring of the department". Second time from the same company in three years. (long story)
So what this means is that I will now have more time to work on this god awful monstrosity called a web page...maybe even buy a dictionary or two.
You will be impressed
two: damnit. now i can't remember. oh yes, archives. There will be an archive soon....as soon as i figure out if i want to learn how to do it with blogger (for some reason i can't get mine to work) or if i decide i want to do it on my own. We'll see. I have a *lot* of free time now.
oh wait, there's a third thing. I might be going to grad school now. Yay me!
anyway, that's the current situation with me.
i had a dream about you last night. I was sitting in a clothing store/apartment/laundrymat. We were trying on different types of clothes while our clothes were being washed. I remember trying my hand as a rockabilly whore whilst you dressed in dirty jeans and a cowboy hat. The best part was I made you laugh a lot. We were having a great time. We were singing misfits songs really loud and the landlord of the laudrymat kept asking us to keep it down. You kept kissing me. I can still feel it, really. I've never forgotten your lips, your smile, your laugh...you were so beautiful. (though i can safely presume that you are STILL beautiful) You kept begging me in the dream to move to California. I was confused because I thought I was already in California. You said you missed me...then I woke up. I'm not sure if I am happy that I had the dream or not. Its confusing, really. I wish that I could talk to you just once. Even if you are living with some japanese whore named Yuki or Naomi or Hitomi . Why is it that all of the japanese whores names end in I? That's okay. Its all okay. Isn't it?
posted at 12:20 AM
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February 21, 2001
regrets are worthless
they misconstrue the past in sight and sound
and as lines recede
no one speaks a word of his lust
a word of dreams
that've been left to rust
the tv's on and everyone stays calm
regrets are worthless
as time has passed
and no one understands
and to say the least
the years have been unfair.
I wanted to tell you i miss it
i just wanted to let you know
the last year has helped me grow
i want to take you on the road
where we'll go i'll never konw
will you come along?
its easier when no where feels like home.
regrets are worthless
and as time passed no one understands
the years have been unfair to this one
i said i want out
i want to take you out of this
and go to California
I want to take you on a ride
I wanted to tell you i miss it
i just wanted to let you know the last year has helped me grow
i want to take you on the road
where we'll go i 'll never know
will you come along?
its easier when no where feels like home
i'll set things right this time
i know the direction in which to go
i'll set things right
i'll say goodnight
goodnight.
- "No where feels like home" - Midtown
posted at 3:29 PM
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February 20, 2001
i am so stressed out.
work is kicking my ass.
life is kicking my ass.
i am starting to shake, actually. i wind up thinking too much and i just start shaking like an old man with parkinsons.
this is not good.
i am really depressed.
i'm having a hard time of things...i think i need to go to sleep.
where are you when i need you...you're in your place and i'm in mine. and i begin to shake...
posted at 9:05 PM
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ok, so bill maher is on the tonight show bitching up a storm about some rare bengaled tigers who were on just before him. He says they're not put on earth for our "amusement". Nevermind the fact that the people who owned the tigers have rescued them and are there to teach people about the fragility of our ecosystem...and inform people about how rare they are. The owners also are helping increase the wild population by breeding.
What a cock. So what if he's a "full fledged member of peta". You can love animals without having to be a dick about it. At least these people aren't keeping them in a zoo, unhappy and unloved...
whatever.
i'm just wasting time until my downloads on napster finish.
i really need to be in bed. i have SO much work to do tomorrow. i have HUGE amounts of work that need to be done. I'm in trouble with two clients...and the sad thing is i don't really care.
i'm so fucked at work its not even funny.
i can't think about it or i'm going to throw up.
posted at 12:13 AM
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February 19, 2001
So i didn't lose any money at the casino! This is a good thing.
(oh did I mention that I was going?)
Anyway, I wound up going to the casino this weekend with my family. Mind you, I hate going to casinos. I hate wasting my money. I might as well just walk down the street handing out dollars to strangers. It was nice to spend time with my family though. I liked it. I found a game called "jacks or better" . Its essentially video poker. It rocks. I made a lot of money on this game and lost a lot of money on the game. That's okay...like i said, as long as i left with as much as i came with then there's nothing to worry about.
I got a really cool thumb ring there too. Yay for me.
I just found out that my friends grandmother has died. This is really sad for me because she was like my grandmother when I was little. Nikole and I were inseperable. It was crazy how close we were. I loved her grandma. It makes me sad that I can't go to the funeral...but they live in florida now (i believe) and now i can't find nikki's email address....so if you're reading this nik, write me please.
today is going to be busy as shit and i'm just putting off the inevitable. I better scoot.
posted at 10:36 AM
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February 16, 2001
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I think about the people in my life, the people that have come and gone...the people that i miss more than life itsself.
Sometimes we make mistakes. I know that. Sometimes we make a couple of mistakes. ...and we have to be responsible for those mistakes. Why have I made the choices in my life that I have? Why haven't I made some other choices. the ones that were obvious. Oh well. I'll never get those times back.
I guess i'm especially pensive lately because it was one year (and two days ago) when i was at the morrissey concert. That was the worlds best time. The time before hand...the time during...who i saw there. I will never forget it. I remember what happened the day after...I was supposed to go to the Ohio show but I couldn't. A friend of mine got hit by a bunch of skinheads. i was very sad.
This was such a good month last year. I mean it was a fucking great month last year. Its not the same now.
I also have realized that its no one elses fault but my own. I suck. I've ruined it and I have no one to blame but myself. So, getting mad about things is stupid. I don't hate..I don't blame. I just wish things would have went differently. I guess I have a lot of regret, really. There's nothing I can do about that now. I just have to learn and make new choices.
I wonder how people are doing. I wonder when people lose contact with those they care about, how do they deal with it?
I hate being vague sometimes.
Just so you remember:
Same prescription
Pizza minus cheese extra mushrooms
music..music...music...
russell crowe
neighbours
jewish multicultural center
coke from mcdonalds
'do you trust me? if you trust me first'
'name me 5 movies where monkeys play a key role. DING monkey trouble, monkey shines, king kong, king kong returns...monkeys monkeys ted and alice...'
me.
posted at 10:00 AM
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February 15, 2001
so to all those who were wondering, the psych doctor went really well. She's a very nice woman. She stayed talking to me for 45 minutes after i was supposed to be done. She never looked at her watch once. She seemed honestly interested in me helping myself...and she didn't say "so what do YOU think you should do?" once. Sure signs of a great head doctor. She's really great. So i guess this is the begining of a good relationship.
In the meantime, i saw that someone was here. I'm sorry for saying those evil things about california. I won't hurt anyone there...I promise. I'm over my anger.
Oh and i'm going to a casino for the weekend with my family. I'm going to play craps. CRAAAAAAAAAAAPS! i'm going to wear a dress like Sharon Stone in Casino...i'm going to throw all the chips up in the air and giggle. I hope i win a lot of money. I need it. SO keep all fingers crossed for me.
I'm going to write a bunch tomorrow...so prepare for it.
listening to : gene/truth rest your head
posted at 10:18 PM
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so are you happy? are you safe? i hope you are well...and happy. most of all happy. i miss you, where are you?
posted at 1:04 PM
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February 14, 2001
I have to go to the therapist tomorrow. I'm both excited and scared. I wonder what I'm trying to learn. Am I going to hear something that I have been avoiding telling myself? Is that why I'm excited? Or am I afraid because I am going to have to face the truth?
listening to: Fake plastic trees/radiohead (on repeat)
i still find myself locked in the world of you. i feel so cliche. i wonder when exactly i gave my power over to you. when exactly was that time when i knew i'd be forever helpless in matters of YOU. you...
I read through some old letters today.
"so now you send me your hardened regards when once you sent me love..."
Its so funny how we used to talk. Hours and hours of talking to eachother,..."riding in your car, i never ever want to go home...". You used to want to wisk me away from the toils of retail hell and take me to a better place. Instead you just went to that place without me.
I wish i could at least say good bye to you. I don't hate you any more. I just miss you. I think.
Another thing is, i wish i could pinpoint exactly when i knew i lost. I hate to give up.
But i read something and it struck me solid. i knew i really loved you when i realized that you're happier without me.
i always thought that was so stupid. i hated people for saying that. i hated them for being so willing to give up on a love that should be theirs. but i guess i understand now.
i'd rather be miserable than make you miserable.
i wish there was an easier way to explain this.
when i picture you smiling, having fun and just being you...i smile. at least one of us is happy.
i do miss you. i do want you to come back. please...
posted at 2:56 PM
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February 13, 2001
Spring-Heeled fish ...is that you?
please, let me know.
posted at 10:40 PM
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I drew a horse-duck. Its a horses head with a duck body.
I asked the other day what would happen if you had a duck/chicken. Like made a duck hump a chicken. Would it be a chuck? a ducken?
I don't know but it would certianly taste good! mmmmmmm!
So now today i have to drive all the way to butt fuck brighton to get a shot of a lake. 10 minutes of nothing but a lake. *sigh* Then I have to drive all the way back here, turn in the camera, grab my stuff and go to a client meeting. All by 4.
I should leave now for the shoot so I don't have to worry about rushing.
And I can eat in my car.
Some days I just don't want to move.
I'm supposed to go to the gym today but I can barely keep my eyes open.
I don't know what the problem is. Is lethargy a medical condition? Should I seek professional help?
Speaking of which, I'm goign to the doctors next week to see about my jaw. Hopefully hopefully hopefully they'll say that they have to break it and re-set it. This would make me most happy. THe doctor said that most people are not candidates for the 'jaw breaking surgery'. I wonder what makes you a candidate. I don' tknow. They aren't relaly forthcoming with that information. I just know that I don't want to spend the rest of my life sleeping with a stupid bite-splint. What kind of fix is that? "OH don't eat hard foods, don't eat chewy foods, don't chew gum, sleep with this huge hunk of plastic in your mouth, then MAYBE it will get better. " fuck that. Just break my fucking jaw, wire it shut for two months and then it will be better...
i can only hope.
posted at 11:22 AM
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February 12, 2001
When I was a boy I was confounded by you
Now I'm still a boy I am indebted to you
Every song I ever wrote was written for you
Written for you
Now I'm feeling flat you seem mile away
I'm so tired that down on the pavement I'll lay
Till the blossom on the tree comes falling on me
Fall on me
From my window I can see the mountains in snow
From my window I will shut my eyes and let go
Promise me you'll always be around when I call
And when I fall
On the river bridge up on the wall, looking down
On the river bridge, to me a vision was shown
If I could hold on to things till I was full grown
Peace would I know
To my dog on wheels I'll tell my pleasures and woes
To my dog on wheels I'll tell my secrets and more
Then one day in spring I'll take him down to the road
Anything goes
So there we go. The song that is stuck in my brain. I can't get it out. I know its a faux-pas to post the lyrics to the songs in your journal. You know what. This is what i say to the person who made that rule. PHHHHHHHHHHBHBHBHBHBHTT!
Its my journal. I don't care.
Its a great song. Song lyrics are poetry.
I heard from nate, but now i haven't heard back from him in a while. I get so god damned uptight about that kind of stuff. I am so stupid!! I just wish i could relax about it all...how lame. I mean, here I am freaking out about why my friend hasn't written me back in two days. I guess I am much more needy than I realize.
Part the deux. I think I may be going through a life altering moment here in a month. I don' t know exactly WHEN it will be but I know it has to come soon. Its one of those "do or die" situations. I'm not looking forward to it. I know that I will either rise from the ashes like a phoenix or I will wallow in self pity before brushing myself off and walking away from it. I don't expect to die from it. I don't know. I just know that if things continue on the same path that they are, i *WILL* die. That's why something has to change. I'm sorry for being cryptic but I don't know how else to explain it, really. That's just the way it is.
Oh and special message for California. My brain waves are being fine tuned as we speak. I am now able to shoot individual people instead of just shaking the entire ground to cause a devistating earthquake. With that said, I can now aim my brainwaves at the face of a certian person who makes me mad. You know who you are, jackass.
posted at 3:00 PM
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"given me He inspires me i feel
more pumpkin like, Bob thornton
when they claimed
they make me
He would have.perfect
job, have a little crystal in common,
really, self concious. Oh going to get anything
to he would you how long
sleeved shirts. Black pants
and
it be the BEST show EVER.
I feel that
I figure out in my all is what
we were both threw it At
a shit Is uncomfortable in a quarter life
I hate this girl who by third eye
All those two feet. "
Poem created just for me by : Rob's Amazing Poem Generator
Type in a url and it creates a poem using the contents of the page.
I like mine.
Especially the last two lines. :)
posted at 9:34 AM
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February 08, 2001
I should be writing a script that needs to go out today.
I should be eating lunch.
Instead i'm sitting here, listening to Gene wondering where the past year of my life has gone.
And as I look out of the window in my 'office', i see a fireman and his red truck in the parking lot. NO big thing, you say...well it is. They're in the very back of the parkinglot (its one of those huge assed parking lots, with enough spaces to house an entire village and more) They are back there, and the guy keeps spraying water all over the entire place. Just shooting his hose everywhere. And now he fell on his ass. (*LOL* I accidently wrote : and now he fell asleep. what's on my mind?!)
the confusing thing about this entire spectacle is the fact that its oh ...about 25 degrees outside.
We've had freezing rain all morning....
and now there's a fireman with a big red truck in our parkinglot creating more freezing rain.
I don't understand it.
I think they might be buildng a hockey rink for us.
ach!!!!
now they're shooting a giant cannon hose off the top of his truck.
its getting all the cars on the other side of the parking lot
its so exciting.
i am so tired.
posted at 2:05 PM
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February 07, 2001
So now i've got the about me page up. Enjoy gobs of information all about me, more that you've ever wanted to know...
wee!!
posted at 9:16 PM
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February 06, 2001
and to think people thought i was crazy.
the HOT FUDGE SHOW did exsist.
Hot fudge
Hot fudge 2
So POO POO on you evil nay-sayers.
and i wish i could find the themesong on napster.
if anyone can find anything, please please let me know.
I'll pay handsomely.
posted at 12:41 AM
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I'm in the mood to write, though i have no idea what. I've just smoked a cigarette and now i want another one. This is unacceptable.
I haven't heard back from nate. I'm starting to feel really self concious. Oh no. I don't want to worry about it. Is he avoiding me on purpose? Has he even read his email? Is he going to write me back. I always over worry about things. This is so stupid.
I went and had coffee (well, hot chocolate) with my friend the other day. She's been my friend since 2nd grade. We've had crazy ups and downs but all in all we've managed to stay close friends and I would like to think that we could rely on eachother more so than most people. We have history. Look upon your life and count how many people you know can remember your childhood home, what your room looked like when you were 10, elementary school bullies, bad hair days, the birthday party you both threw for Joe Elliott of Def Leppard when you were 13 complete with the british flag cake, ballons and birthday signs. (I still hang my head in shame when i think of that day. oh my.)
That's what we have. History. She has seen me grow and change and learn through out the years. She knows my background, what I mean when i say..."this is how i felt in 8th grade". Its comforting.
But at the same time, its kind of unnerving. She can see through me. AND she's a social worker. She analyzes people for a living. It leaves me feeling like I constantly have to explain my decisions and my choices. I know that she's secretly assessing my situation and applying it to her textbook knowledge of what's "unhealthy". I don't like feeling like I have to justify my life to someone who should just listen and say 'yeah i know what you mean'. I dont' think she means to do it, i really don't. I don't think she even knows that she's doing it. Sometimes I feel like I am talking to a shrink rather than a good friend. I don't know. I don't want to say anything to her because I think its my own insecurities rather than something she's really doing. I need to stop worrying about how other people think of me and focus on what i think. That's so easier said than done, really. I mean who doesn't worry about what their peers think? Even those anarchy-raise-hell-fuck-the-establisment-i-don't-follow-anyone punks. They worry about it too. "What if i look like an ass with liberty spikes?" "What if my shirt isn't quite ripped/gnarly/black/punk enough". Everyone worries. I just need to do less of it.
So they're moving the new people into our office within a month. This unnerves me.
Here's the skinny on that situation. I work for media one. Media one and AT&T were bought out by Comcast. Anyone who knows me remembers that my friend (and current co-worker) and I were both fired from comcast for "mysterious reasons" (they claimed they were downsizing because of budget cuts, however they allowed us to REINTERVIEW for our exact position then turned us down on the fact we didn't have enough experience...what the fuck ever). Anyway , we're now Comcast employees again. I can already feel the shit brewing. Its terrible. Anyway, they're moving the production team from AT&T over to our office because comcast doesn't want to pay the lease on their building any more. However, they fail to acknowledge the fact that we just don't have the room for them. I think they're idea is "oh well, figure something out." So now we're trying to figure out how to cram 11 people into our 6 person room. This will result in a lot of shifting and moving and general uncomfortableness on our part. I am MOST unhappy about this.
I understand the need for it to happen, I understand why it has to happen. But it doesn't make me any happier.
I just don't want these 5 people to come into our nice little department and muck it all up. We have a good thing going. Generally there are 4 of us that hang out all the time. We all eat lunch at the same time, we all hang out after work. We have a perfect game of euchre going...
Now with 5 other people coming in, that is all going to change.
And out of 11 people there will be only 3 girls.
Then when they finally integrate the Comcast Production team...there will still only be 3 girls out of a group of about 18. This should prove to be interesting.
I keep thinking of job security. If they fire me for a stupid reason, then I can claim sexual discrimination. (My supervisors are the same people who fired me from comcast).
I just don't want people I don't know, and don't necessarily like, coming in on my territory. I'm like a dog. I have my territory. My friends. I don't want those OTHER people coming in and ruining what i like.
I'm a bitch that way. I know its not right...but i figure at least I know what i'm doing is wrong. I don't know if that makes it better or worse.
on a side note:
i'm sending powerful earthquake brainwaves to southern california so that it will shake itsself off right into the ocean. i'm hoping that the smart ones move and begin to rectify their ways. I'm hoping that clive barker and morrissey both decide to move. and I'm also hoping a certian someone decides to stay in fucking LA and rot his ass off, become addicted to crack and be too stoned to know that he's drowning. have a nice day!
posted at 12:13 AM
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February 02, 2001
oh third thing...
if you can, go rent every hal hartley movie you can get your hand on.
he inspires me to be great.
they are the best movies ever ever ever.
(next to kicking and screaming, of course)
the best is trust.
i wish some bloke didn't ruin it for me. i suppose that will change soon enough though.
OH and if you're fond of the "i like pot bellies" and "whose chopper is this?" girl from pulp fiction, she's in his movie "amateur"
go i say! GO! RENT! GO!
posted at 11:20 PM
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two quick things...
one i am going to kill the singer of crazy town. They sing that song called "butterfly." i just saw the video. The guy, who is covered with the most lame tattoo's i've ever seen, has his hand permanently affixed to his groin area. I mean seriously, that's a problem that he should get checked out. If i don't kill him first.
Second. The reason i like bands like static-x and powerman 5000 is cos they make that gutteral OHHHHHHHHHHHH noise. its more like a weughhhhhhhh noise than ohhhhhhh.
its fun.
ok i'm done. go about your business.
posted at 11:13 PM
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Three things that made my drive home a pleasant one:
1. I saw the sling blade guy again. (see earlier post). This time he was listening to something that sounded like Bob Segar and he was yelling random words from the song. I laughed as the light turned green and I drove away. Then I felt bad. I shouldn't be making fun of someone who is obviously mentally ill. But damn it was funny. and great to see him again. Kind of like an old friend. I wanted to yell out of my open window "hey! You're back! good to see ya!"
2. I heard the song "next year" by the foo fighters. Normally this wouldn't throw me into the realm of feel good land, but this time it did. It's the ED themesong don't you know.
3. I'll be damned if i can remember.
I'll let you in on a little secret. I have no short term memory now. I think its the meds that I am on to combat the plague. That's okay. Ignorance is bliss, yes?
Here's a link to my friend nate: link . This is the friend I spoke of yesterday.
See, here's the background on that situation. We went to school together from second grade i think. I can't think of a time when I didn't know him. Back then, he was known as "the doc" . I don't know why...i mean its not like we ran around calling him "hey doc". But you know how kids are in elementary school. Everyone gets some sort of nickname that is never used. Mine was Manda Panda. Unfortunately I was an exception to that "never used" rule. Anyhow. They called him "the doc" because he used to disect his fruit pies. AT any rate, nate was my friend from elementary school. He lived not too far from me even. I used to ride my bike to my friend sheila's house and sometimes he'd be outside playing around. Other than that, we never really hung out then. Who hangs out in elementary school anyway...
So junior high came and I geek-i-fied...lost a lot of friends in 8th grade due to my affinity for wearing black and the such. He stayed my friend.
Highschool came, we made a lot of mutual friends and still remained close.
We even worked together at the best record store in the world, Music Master (now defunct). That was the best fucking job i've ever had. I was basically in charge when the owners weren't there, which meant a lot of fucking around happened.
Once, nate and I got it into our heads to take the label maker and label everything in the store. Damn that was hilarious at the time...i mean a chair...with a big label on the back that says CHAIR.
Comedic genius at its finest folks.
Well, unfortunately for us, the labels got stuck in the machine and even though we thought we fixed it we didn't.
Monica, the owner, went to use the label maker one day and discovered the label got stuck. When she went to fix it the proper way, she discoverd the copy of all the stupid shit that we had printed out. Boy were we in trouble.
I think if she could have grounded us, she would have.
Then I went away to school and we all know how that is. ... He was dating a girl i hated. Sarah. I didn't really hate her. I just hated her sometimes. She had a certain air about her that made her appear like she thought she was better than you. It was sometimes too much, really. I was friends with her but there was no love lost when I stopped talking to her after graduation.
ah well, so college came and went and we lost touch...but now we're talking and all is well.
at any rate, that's the history. so now you know.
and knowing is half the battle.
posted at 10:34 PM
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February 01, 2001
So i got part of the new layout up.
AND! THE BEST NEWS EVER!
I got an email from a friend of mine from highschool. I haven't seen him since around 1994. He went away and we lost touch. AHA but he's written. Its the greatest day in the world. What a great day. I can't begin to tell you how elated I am that he wrote me.
ELATED.
the new layout bugs me already. i hate being a perfectionist. That's the funny thing though, I could give a shit if i have comma's in the right place, if my house is in disarray ...if i spell disarray wrong ...(it looks wrong...i don't know. i am lazy.) However, when it comes to certain things...i'll be damned if i can ever get them right. It sucks because half the time i'm not sure what i'm going to be a perfectionist about until i start working on it. At that point its too late to avoid it.
Oh well, its time for bed.
posted at 11:28 PM
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Sitting here with cat hair in my eye. All i want to do is sleep.
I may just do that.
Is it possible to fall in love with a tv show?
ED has to be the best show EVER.
i am going to wind up marrying it.
posted at 2:22 PM
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