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June 29, 2001
There is something wrong with me.
No. Its not my lack of memory, its not my constant headaches. This time its something else.
I was crying today while watching Maury Povitch. Yes. Tears came from my eyes went down my cheeks in streams of sadness. Maybe not streams but more of a light trickle.
It was "maury help my out of control teen" update today. These crazy "you don't know me, sit down, whatever, whatever" teens were plain up out of control. And all under the age of 15. All girls, dressin like whores, disrespectin their mamma's and in once case a daddy...sleepin with people, doin drugs. Their parents came to maury to beg for help and Maury, being the swell guy he is, got his friends Sgt. Big Arms and two officers from local jails to come and take these kids to show them the errors of their ways.
They showed clips of the girls in jail, crying whilst the inmates screamed at them, poked them, taunted them and wanted to make them their bitches. They cried, they wanted their momma's (and daddy)...and suddenly weren't all "sit down you don't know me whatever whatever" anymore.
So they came out, and the moms were crying, they were apologizing...and I was crying. I cried again when the dad went up to Maury and said "from one dad to another, I want to say thank you for saving my daughter". I thought "my dad loves me like that dad too! Maury loves his kids too! I love my dad!!"
I'm a weeping mess. What's wrong with this picture?!
posted at 8:27 PM
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i wouldn't want to "do" snoop dogg, i'd just wanna be his homie.
I heard on the radio today that the D.A.'s office in Philadelphia is prosecuting two women for prostitution. Now, this may not sound very strange to you, but get this....the women were not soliciting sex. The arresting officers have admitted on record "no they did not offer us sexual intercourse, blow jobs OR a hand job type thing". So, how did they get these two women for prostitution? The two women in question were domiatrix's. They just offered to beat up the undercover officer, ...whip him, spank him whatever. According to a 'strange wording' in the Philadelphia law books, they offered him a service for money, a service that can be sexually gratifiying for some.
Therefore, they arrested the women for prostitution.
Now, how can this possibly be right?
I understand that the S&M community sometimes use these "beatings" or whathaveyou as a form of sexual practice, but 9 times out of 10 there is no form of sex involved. No penetration. No exchanging of body fluids.
according to dictionary.com the definition for prostitution is thus:
pros·ti·tu·tion (prst-tshn, -ty-)
n.
The act or practice of engaging in sex acts for hire.
The act or an instance of offering or devoting one's talent to an unworthy use or cause
Now, according to that second definition, a LOT of practices can be considered prostitution. Working for a place that is beneath you, just to get some money. Can anyone be prosecuted for devoting your talent to an unworthy cause?
unworthy (worthless)
For example. Using your talents (knowledge of film and video ...a degree in film)_to work at a unworthy/worthless job (getting a job at a video store to get paid). According to that, I am a prostitute and should be arrested.
Now...back to the point.
They were arrested for the solicitation of sex acts/intercourse...
defintion of sexual intercourse:
sexual intercourse
n.
Coitus between humans.
Sexual union between humans involving genital contact other than vaginal penetration by the penis.
Ok. These women did NEITHER of these definitions. They beat people up for money. They gave enemas, humiliated, spanked, tied up and/or abused people who paid them for these services.
This was their fetish. No sex act was involved. Even if some people use this in lieu of sex (the act of coitus), there was nothing that fits either definition of prostitution or sexual intercourse.
If you are going to arrest these people to catering to the fetish of some select individuals, then you should perhaps arrest strippers. THey are getting paid to shake their naked bodies for people on stage. You should arrest people who go to shoe stores to try on shoes for their little pervy foot fetishes. You should arrest people who sell stuffed animals to plushophiliacs. You should arrest the people who sell tickets to the zoo, because i guarantee that there will be someone there who wants to have sex with a monkey...or gets off looking at monkeys.
See how rediculous this lawsuit is? It makes me just sick.
Anyway.
I'm watching a show on discovery right now called "would you believe". They showed a big segment on the Cemetery of Père Lachaise . Of course you know this name probably because you know Jim Morrison is buried there. But he's soon out of there. Which is good riddance I say. His stupid rabid fans are destroying the graves of other famous, and more deserved, people. Chopin, Balzac, Modigliani...FREEKING OSCAR WILDE!!
At any rate, there's a man there, who died in a duel. At the moment of death, he was encased in Bronze. That is his tombstone. His bronzed corpse! HOW COOL IS THAT?!
I am obessed with strange tombstones.
When I die, I wanted to be encased in an airtight plexi-glass (bulletproof too) container. I wanted to be sitting up in a chair, with a backdrop that can be changed from the outside. For example, in the winter time, I want to have like a swiss chalet behind me. In the summer I want to have the sea-side. Then...my grandchildren and great grandchildren etc can come by and push a button and hear a pre-recorded message from grandma. They'll see me in my chair, smiling away...maybe i'll even rig it so that I can wave when they push the button.
I'd be the talk of the cemetery that's for sure.
"say hi to grandma kids"
"hi kids, boy it sure is nice here at the ocean!" *wave* *wave*
posted at 1:58 AM
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June 27, 2001
sidenote:
issey myake cologne sends me into gooshing smooshy balls of esctasy
posted at 8:20 PM
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"I will not be a snickerpuss"
So i've decided that yes, I was indeed a mexican gangster in my past life. The reason why I've come to this conclusion is thus: (stereotypes abound, please avert your eyes if you are easily offended). Mexicans take siestas during the afternoon because it is too damn hot in mexico or southern california. The mexicans do not like the heat. They'd rather just close their eyes and snooze away the afternoon, and then spend their evening hanging out with the rest of your fellow cholos...glaring from underneath your blue bandanna. Its fairly simple, you see. Mexicans are famous for their siestas. I love to sleep.
Conclusion drawn.
Soon, I will have my model car built. As you may have guessed, though I think I may have posted it here earlier, it is a 64 impala lowrider with hydraulics. (reason #2 I am a mexican gangster) Once i get this built I will showcase it everywhere. I will put it in my car. I will take it with me to restaurants...I'll say, "yeah I was just rollin in my 64, homes"
'yo yo, check out imacolita, ese, she's smokin!"
Sillly! silly! Too entirely silly!
You know what is ENTIRELY too silly? Cradle of Filth.
"SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH" (translation: i am singing about something medieval, listen to my voice)
The thing that's even more silly than Cradle of Filth, are the flocks of little spooky children who listen to COF. You know the kind, they haunt the hot topic at the mall, standing around with the biggest frown on their faces, their big ol black jeans and their too small t shirts with a big COF logo on the front. Their black eyeliner has been smeared all around their beedy accusing eyes and runs down their cheeks. their poorly dyed hair hangs in greasy strings in front of their chalky white painted faces.
"ooooh, i'm soooooooooooo spooky. I'm the new face of GOTH Boooooooooooooo!"
I laugh . I laugh so much.
And i'm just FULL of stereotypes today, aren't i?
I should quit while i'm ahead. ;)
posted at 7:00 PM
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June 26, 2001
Its cool isn't it? :)
As you can see, I have changed the layout once again. It took me a long time and I think I have something I actually like for once. AND, i'm actually going to get the links section working this time ...what do you know? Progress? Perhaps.
Oh and I bought "big trouble in little china" on dvd today. SPECIAL EDITION!
I love this movie. It is in the top 25 movies of all time. You know, I should make a list, like AFI's greatest film list...i'll have AM's greatest film list...it sounds like fun.
I love lists.
go look at nate's site if you're bored. He's great.
posted at 12:47 AM
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June 23, 2001
There's a cat stevens song that gets me every time. It speaks of the love and loss of youth. Its amazing.
It reminds me of being young, being carefree, or as carefree as I could be. I've always been to serious for my age. I remember hearing it when I was little and it struck me the same then as it does now.
I also find it interesting that several people have written songs about katmandu.
What is it about katmandu?
Cat Stevens, Bob Segar, someone named Georg Pommer, and Bela Fleck.
I'm sure there's more but that's all I could find right now. And ...there's even two bands named Katmandu.
Ah, but now I must get ready to go on vacation to Point Pelee Canada...
"Oh very young
What will you leave us this time
You're only dancing on this earth for a short while
And though your dreams may toss and turn you now
They will vanish away like your daddys best jeans
Denim Blue fading up to the sky
And though you want him to last forever
You know he never will (You know he never will )
And the patches make the goodbye harder still
Oh very young
What will you leave us this time
There'll never be a better chance to change your mind
And if you want this world to see a better day
Will you carry the words of love with you
Will you ride the great white bird into heaven
And though you want to last forever
You know you never will (You know you never will )
And the goodbye makes the journey harder still
Oh very young
What will you leave us this time
Youre only dancing on this earth for a short while
Oh very young
What will you leave us this time "
posted at 3:02 PM
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June 22, 2001
So i helped grandma. I'm not a complete shit. :)
What was funny...was i've had my celtic knotwork tattoo on my ankle for like 5 years now. Well, you see where this is going...she just noticed it.
She flipped out..and her boyfriend, Harry, just laughed and laughed and laughed..
"ellen! You're just now noticing it ?! HHAHAHAHA"
she said my grandpa would be rolling around in his grave.
My sloth has a really cool tattoo...on his arm. Its the girl from the professional, holding a teddy bear and pointing a gun.
I wish i had a picture of that thing..it rocked.
i'm not feeling good. i don't know why.
i am bored.
i am a bad writer
posted at 1:52 AM
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June 21, 2001
You know, my grandmother wants me to help her tomorrow.
I have to move some stuff around cos they're going to be working on her house.
I don't want to work
Isn't that horrible?
What kind of person am I?
I am thinking of every excuse I can not to go over there.
And at the same time I'm feeling like shit for that.
My grandma would do anything in the world for me..even if it wasn't physically possible, she'd figure out a way. SO here I am, going "oh maybe i'd go on friday instead of thursday".
I'm such a piece of shit.
Life has lost all meaning to me
posted at 2:33 AM
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June 17, 2001
I've seen this circulating on some other journals I read, so I thought I'd try my hand at it too...
Seven things that I am afraid of:
1. bugs
2. my house catching on fire or spontanious combustion
3. skinheads
4. more bugs...
5. being stuck in a strange city without a car, at night, with bums yelling at me
6. Heights
7. riding rollercoasters
Seven things that make me laugh:
1. Kids in the Hall
2. Will Ferrell
3. WIll Sasso
4. Monty Python
5. Amy
6. J.
7. goofy little kids
Seven things that make me cry:
1. People who leave without saying goodbye
2. People who leave without explanation
3. Sappy romantic movies (Bridges of Madison County)
4. Thinking of losing my parents/grandma
5. Romance
6. When bad things happen to animals
7. When someone sneaks up on me and scares me
Seven things that I love:
1. jp
2. my family
3. my kittykittys
4. music
5. my friends
6. memories
7. "the one i can't have"
Seven things on my desk:
1. Coke cans
2. Pens
3. Bills
4. Ashtray and cigarettes
5. Catnip
6. Twizzlers
7. 3 spools of cds
Seven facts about me:
1. I dye my hair (usually a different color) every 2 months
2. I am a little sister in a gay (male) frat
3. I paint my nails constantly
4. I drive too fast
5. I was a mexican gangster in a past life
6. I think wayyyyyy too much
7. I drink too much coke
Seven things to do before I die:
1. Spend a couple of weeks in London
2. Travel all over europe
3. Drive from arizona to san francisco with Amy
4. wear a size 4
5. Edit a feature film
6. Be as good of a grandma as mine was to me.
7. See the one I miss more than life...just one last time.
posted at 2:11 AM
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June 15, 2001
dream:
odd, dream .. crazy dream.
I was going to an all black university...but on my way there, I made a detour. A boy named Scott was supposed to pick me up at one point, but he just disappeared...so I went to his house to find him. I broke into his house and went into his room. A paper bag full of my things was placed on his white girly dresser. I half heartedly sorted through the bag. The things that stand out are a jewelry box full of jewels, several notebooks, a few cds and a couple of movies. I sort of tossed the bag aside and continued to rummage through his things. There, i found a big long handwritten note from a japanese girl. How did I know she was japanese? I don't know. At any rate, I took the letter and put it in my leather journa for safe keeping and later reading.
I heard someone come home and i had to sneak out all james bond like.
As I was leaving, I saw two girls sitting outside across the street. I remember talking to them and playing a game involving throwing rocks. I did it so that they wouldn't tell their parents I was sneaking out of the house.
On my way to school, this unnamed black University I was going to, I suddenly wound up on a bus full of brotha's and sista's. I was the only white girl there, so I was incredibly isolated and felt really lonely. We got to the school but instead of having several buildings like a normal university campus...all of the clasrooms were in one ginormous building. I was so scared and I didn't know where any of the classes were...then I remembered my journal with the letter in it.
I started to read the letter...
Dear Scott
it read
I am writing this to let you know that I want you back. I want you to move in with me in Arizona and then from there we'll go to California. I miss you and I'm sorry I forgot about you, but I am cute and little and japanese. You love me.
I can't remember what else it said...but I do remember that all the i's were dotted with hearts instead of the normal 'dot'.
I was irritated. IRRITATED...
then I woke up
Want to analyze this dream?
email me imacolata@clivebarker.net
posted at 3:16 AM
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June 11, 2001
I'm watching "fear factor" right now... i have no idea of the premise or what the whole point is...
but right now there's a group of people standing around while they get 2 bucketfuls of rats on them.
These people are the biggest fucking pussies i've ever seen .
Screaming crying babies.
Big fucking deal, have a few rats crawl all over your body for 50 grand.
Hell yeah, drop em on me baby. I can handle that no problem-o.
The final stunt of the day is that they have eto get into a car...its going to be lifted over 150 feet in the air, on a 45 degree angle... When the guy says go, you have to climb out onto the hood...grab the ribbon on the hood...climb out onto the trunk, grab the keys sticking out of the trunk...climb back into the car and start the engine and honk the horn. And while you're doing all of this, there's a few people spraying hoses on you.
Ok. Hm. Now the people aren't too upset about this "stunt". They're all "focused and intent upon finshing the stunt". Ok, they're all hyped up and excited. But when it comes to a few rats crawling around, they're crying and screaming for their mommies. I don't understand this.
Its starting to piss me off.
posted at 8:46 PM
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June 09, 2001
I find i like music better when I know the lyrics.
This is not always the case, but i find it to be true more often than not. I think it has something to do with being able to relate to the words. I do'nt know. I'll have to ponder more on this thought.
I also find that I'm losing my memory.
Is this a precursor to some sort of degenerative brain disease?
I'm forgetting things, and I'm speaking incorrectly a lot these days. I dont know what's going on but its starting to worry me a bit. I know i've got a brain tumor. In highschool I had headaches every day for a year...but nothing was wrong. "stress" they said.
I wonder if stress is doing me in now.
i don't know.
i don't like it...its starting to freak me out.
There's too much I have to do and I'm not having a good time of it all
i'm moody.
Someone hit my webpage today. I hope he's doing okay and is happier than he's ever been. That's all i want anymore.
that's all.
well, that's not all, but I'll take what i can get, eh?
posted at 4:46 AM
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June 05, 2001
i fucking love court tv.
LOVE IT.
serial killers, criminals, drug heads, america's most wanted, court shows, live from cell block F, COPS! COPS! COPS!!!, fbi files, more and more and more and more court stuff.
I LOVE IT.
I can't even stand it I love it so much.
I think instead of a film major i should have been a criminal justice major.
I never get sick of it.
but i do get sick of pretentious film snobs.
But, from what I understand, the justice system is really hard to get anywhere if you're a woman. There's a real tight 'good ol boys' system running and its near damn impossible to move forward without smacking your head on the glass ceiling they've got there. Oh well. I should have at least tried.
OH well.
posted at 4:22 AM
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