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June 28, 2002
I'll be gone for two weeks starting.....now.
goodbye.
posted at 6:36 PM
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you know what fucking sucks?
When other people are proofing your work, right next to you...and you hear whispering and then laughing.
I'm ready to knock someone around....
posted at 3:24 PM
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June 27, 2002
Ok. My brother just bought this bike.
I'm a nervous wreck. I made him sign an agreement that he would not pop wheelies. Though he probably won't uphold his end of the agreement, it makes me feel slightly better.
I'm also pissed off. He spent 10 grand on this bike. Well, is spending. He got a loan...He's got a new Jeep Cherokee, a Jimmy that he's building from scratch (tearing apat and building) AND this super hot 4-wheeler...
Must be nice making like a thousandmilliondollars a year and living at home not paying rent.
My only condolence is that my mom is not talking to him right now.
...and I keep thinking "if he hurts himself, I'm going to kill him."
posted at 1:44 PM
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June 26, 2002
Two of the little things in life that make me happy:
1. When you open Snood and haven't registered, it says "PLEASE!" but in a very funny voice. I could listen to this and giggle like a toddler all day.
2. When I have a client named Guy and I have to call him on the phone. I always say "Hey Guy...." sort of like the voice of Saddam Hussein in South Park, the movie.
Just thinking of them makes me giggle.
Tee-Hee.
posted at 9:14 AM
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June 25, 2002
This makes me absolutely sick.
The bastard had the balls to beg for leniency, saying that anyone who knew him knew that he was a good person. Fucker. 3 years in prison is not enough.
This part makes me laugh.
"I want to make things right," said Eldred, who wept throughout much of the hearing. "I don't want to be a part of this incarceration. It's not for me."
it's not for me. Who, when sentenced to prison time, says "Hey, guy, thanks! prison is just what I needed!!!"
ASS.
AGGGGGH!
posted at 1:12 PM
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June 24, 2002
Why is it that on the weekend, when i could care less about how my hair looks, it always winds up looking great .....but when i have to look nice at work, my hair looks like I've slathered it with hairspray and stood out in a windstorm for an hour, then wore a baseball hat whilst working out?
It doesn't make any reasonable sense.
I've heard some awful things this weekend from people who don't know me. (Insert my favorite line "sit down, you don't know me...whatever!" here)
It pissed me off, hurt my feelings and made me indifferent in one fell swoop.
Isn't it amazing how people I don't know (and generally don't care about) can pull me around on strings like this?
I don't like it and I don't understand it. I was never this effected by the opinions of strangers. I wonder what has changed.
Over the weekend, I saw "The Minority Report". I saw someone make mention of the fact that there was one black guy and one asian guy in the movie, therefore justifying the name "minority report" . I thought it was funny.....
The movie itsself was awesome.
I really liked the movie. It is one of the most realistic portrayals of the future that I have seen. Rather, one of the most believable portrayals of the future....
I liked it for that fact alone....
I'm turning into quite the action movie junkie. This is another strange thing that is happening to me. Am I turning into this frankenstein/dr.jekyll type person? A shadow of who I once was? In fact, I have discovered I am not the bra-size that I thought I was.
Try one larger.
What. The. Fuck.
This is most unacceptable.
I'm changing all over the place and I'm not happy about it.
posted at 9:54 AM
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June 19, 2002
Sorry to post this here but I need to remember.
(it can only be about one person...right?)
"You are the last drink I never should have drunk
You are the body hidden in the trunk
You are the habit I can't seem to kick
You are my secrets on the front page every week
You are the car I never should have bought
You are the train I never should have caught
You are the cut that makes me hide my face
You are the party that makes me feel my age"
posted at 4:47 PM
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My new short term goal in life is to learn the lyrics to Besame Mucho...and then buy a red dress and dance around in public whilst singing the lyrics.
It would be preferable if I were dancing with someone, but not necessary.
For some reason, I have catholic mass responses stuck in my head.
I feel like repeating "and also with you" back to anyone who talks to me.
...Lord Hear Our Prayer...
and what's strange, I've never attended a proper catholic mass in my life.
(weddings don't count....)
I should start to conduct my life using the entire catholic mass...but i'm going to change all of the holy parts and replace them with ordinary things.
"May the Force be with you"
"and also with you"
posted at 4:09 PM
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June 18, 2002
Within the next few days I will be unveiling the new and improved Olympian site. I am going to actually have a journal for once...in addition to my blog. I know that no one is interested in my "ooh i got my haircut...and stung by a wasp...and read a stupid book..." crap that I'm so prone to spewing out every day. I actually do write half way decently, and I think it's time I start exercising my writing skills. No, i'm not one of those type of writers. I am not Clive. I am not Stephen King. I am not hoity-toity. I do not know when to properly use a comma...and I use far too many elispes.
But, I am also not one of those people who have the inability to tell a story.
Anyway. You'd think with all the writing that I do during the day, the last thing I'd want to do is come home and write.
The shit I write at work shouldn't be considered writing.
Here's a sample of what I do during the day :
The professionals at So and So Landscaping provide exceptional quality landscaping work, bringing their nearly five years of experience to each job. The quality of work by So and So is comparable to any of the "big name" landscapers, but at a better value and more personal service. Yawn Yawn Yawn. So and So Landscaping is dedicated to maintaining superior customer service and surpassing all of your landscaping expectations......yawnyawn.
This is bullshit.
But it's a job and a very good one. I am happy.
Anyway. Expect something new from me in the next couple of days.
I want to make big changes before I go out west for two weeks.
Mmmm. West-y.
posted at 3:03 PM
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June 14, 2002
I just got stung by a very large wasp.
He was hiding in my shirt...and stung the shit out of me. Right under my arm...not quite my shirley but on the tricep area.
Fucking OUCH. i said in the middle of my quiet office.
Then i was quiet...
About 5 minutes later, I noticed that there was a tickley crawling type feeling on my arm...
And what's funny is that the bug crawley feeling freaked me out more than the sudden SHARP PIERCING pain on my arm.
I jumped up and ripped off my button down shirt and out mr. huge wasp came, wiggling his little antennae in my direction, hoping to sting me some more.
I ran out side and threw him into the bushes (with my shirt)...and now my arm hurts like hell.
Fucking ouch.
A big huge swollen lump on my arm is not fun...ouchy.
Son of a bitching wasp. ...I better not be allergic.
posted at 3:47 PM
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June 12, 2002
I have just learned that my company will soon be expanding and growing to eventually become a full service ad. agency. The eventual goal is to become involved with video production and other forms of print production.
The president, Steve, wants to make it so we can, if the client so desires, go and whip them up a television commercial in addition to some radio ads and some flyers they an hand out to whatever person would use them. He wants our production department to become full service. Meaning, for video production, we would do all of the shooting, writing, editing here.
We would not out-source it.
Did you hear what I just said.
Video Production....editing.
I may get to edit one day, after all. I nearly stood up in my chair and started clapping.
Oh to go back to editing...that will be a heavenly day.
Providing they don't start growing too rapidly and start putting the emphasis on the money making instead of the creativity which got us here in the first place.
God, I fear that...and it's very likely to happen.
But editing.
*drool*
posted at 11:45 AM
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June 11, 2002
Just to give you an idea how sensitive I am....
I was driving home from work yesterday and a guy cut me off pretty bad. I started thinking about what would happen if he were to hit me. I would wind up slamming into the concrete divider, becoming paralyzed from the jaw down, only able to communicate through my breathing tube...I would be sitting my parents basement, staring out of the walk-out door, alone in my paralyzed world. Unable to do anything but sit and wish I were dead. I almost started crying.
Ok. So maybe that's not so sensitive ...but borderline psychotic. Not a good example.
Another example. I was sitting in my bedroom, sidetracked by a show on tv. It was something about the nature of dolphins, the science of their mind or something. The scientists were doing a study to see how the dolphins woul relate to humans and if they could tell the difference between a handicapped person vs. non handicapped. They were throwing a ball to the dolphin and s/he would catch it and bring it back. For a regular, non disabled adult the dolphin would be crazy, flipping around, splashing, making loud clicking noises and shouting, throwing the ball back at the adult pretty hard. For a disabled adult, the dolphin was more tender, but still encouraging, excitable. For the disabled child...the dolphin would be extremely gentle and tender. It would make noises that the scientists said were noises generally reserved for the children in the pod to encourage and show love. The children would throw the ball, (as best as they could) and the dolphin would catch it, swim back and very gently lay the ball in the child's lap.
The scientists concluded that the dolphins could tell which human needed what sort of encouragement, what sort of praise and what level of play they were able to handle. I started bawling my eyes out.
A commercial about a girl talking on the phone with her dad ...she lives with her mom elsewhere. he's lucky to have a certian long distance phone company because it allows him to speak to his daughter no matter how long or what time of the day.
I start crying. I love my dad.
That stupid disney cartoon that's coming out...Lilo and Stitch...there's a part in the commercial where he says "but they're my family!" and he looks all sad. I start crying.
I'm a big stupid sap who cries a lot...but I can still kick your ass.
posted at 10:42 PM
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June 10, 2002
I attended my friends Wade and Michelle's wedding yesterday. I wanted to have a great time. I love Wade and Michelle. They're the worlds most sincere, enjoyable, fun couple. They have good taste. They are silly and funny. Their sense of humor is akin to The State . I love Wade and Michelle.
With that said...their wedding was one of the worst I have attended in my life.
I feel so horrible for saying this, but I had to get it out. It was obvious they spent a lot of money on their wedding. And trust you me, the amount of money that you spend on a wedding is not equal to the amount of fun that you are going to have at said wedding. Their ceremony was a huge catholic affair in a gorgeous church straight out of the middle ages. I really loved the church. It felt like I was back in England again, where everything seems to be made out of huge stone blocks.
I wound up cracking myself up in the middle of the service, and immediately felt guilty. I have never even attended a catholic church and I am still suffering the catholic guilt.
The thing I found most interesting is that this church was crankin out the weddings on saturday. As we got there, one wedding was leaving...ten minutes after Wade and Michelle's wedding another wedding party arrived. I wound up taking pictures of the third wedding party by mistake, thinking it was Michelle leaving from the side door. Of course everyone laughed. That's okay. It'll be a pretty picture of a pretty bride. You don't need to know everyone in your pictures, do you?
So, it ended at 3:30 and the reception wasn't until 6pm. Lots of time to kill. I went and hung out at my parents house for a while, since the reception was at Pine Knob Carriage House. Fast forward a little bit....an announcement was made that Wade and Michelle were going to cut the cake and to please stay in our seats to let the professionals do their job. (meaning the photographer). That sort of sucked. I always like to watch people cut the cake...isn't that part of the tradition? ...at any rate, dinne was served and then dancing. Usually that's when people get crazy and happy and everyone mingles and does wedding things. The uncle gets drunk and dances around with the grandma...the cousin hooks up with a friend of the bride and gets busy in the bathroom....someone gets drunk and falls down outside....
Unfortunately, at this party they did not have a dj. They had a cover band. Has anyone seen that tv show "Watching Ellie"? Julia Louis-Dryfus is a wedding band singer.
Sometimes, it's classy to have a band at your wedding.You know, a band that plays dinner music or maybe swing music...and then as the night progresses, you switch to the dj..or have the dj inbetween sets. Yeah. Not at this wedding. Solid covertunes all night long. Some were not good . I felt like people were going to start yelling YOU SUCK!!!!! like in the movie The Wedding Singer. I swear to god there were periods of 5 songs where there was no one on the dance floor. Five Songs. Then they took an intermission....during which NO MUSIC WAS PLAYED. What sort of bad wedding bullshit is that? Needless to say, there was a lot of sitting around and a lot of people leaving. There was a couple of incidents (which it seems, every wedding that I attend has some sort of cop related drama...thankfully, of which I am never involved...) between the short-guy-syndrome security guard and a few of the patrons who thought it would be okay to break into one of the back rooms and watch the rest of the Red Wings game. They were escorted out of the room and told not to do anything else for the rest of the night cos the guard will 'have his eye on you'. Yeah. So they just went to the (open) bar, grabbed a few more glasses of drink and headed to the parking lot where they proceeded to tailgate. Yeah. So the security guard chased them down in the parking lot, a yelling/swearing match ensued, security guard said he was calling the cops, they broke all of the evidence (open containers is a no-no) and then hauled ass out of there. Thankfully, I left before any more damage could happen.
It was still not as drama-laced as the wedding I attended a couple of years back where the mother of the groom locked herself in the bathroom with her boyfriend while her husband was pounding on the door, the cousins of the groom got into a fist fight in the parking lot then turned on the groom,the groom was caught on videotape (by me, i was supposed to videotape the reception) yelling at his mother about the GODDAMNED LIGHTS IN THIS FUCKING PLACE, the bride and the groom left about half way into the reception, the groom's step-dad (the one outside the bathroom door) got into a fight with the mom's boyfriend, cops were called. People were hauled to jail. That was fucking incredible!! But I digress.
The wedding as a whole was pretty nice. Very plain. It was obvious they spent a lot of money on the details but the details just sort of blended into the background. Oh well. They're going to bermuda on their honeymoon and I suppose that will make them very happy. As I was leaving, I asked Wade if he was able to enjoy his wedding day at all and he said that he had the greatest time ever. And I guess that's all that matters.
An incident also happened this past weekend...well, the begining of the weekend at least...On friday at work, a coworker named Gretchen was talking about how she had to mulch the gardens at her house and she has never done it before so she wasn't sure how many bags or yards she had to get. Well....I overhear her conversation and I butt in, thinking I'm some sort of damn mulch expert or some bullshit. We start talking about how I had to mulch my parents fucking huge yard during memorial day weekend and blah blah...
She asks me how much mulch did we go through.
"Oh 300 yards, easy"
She looks at me incredulous. "300 Yards?!?!?" she says. "Are you sure?"
"Oh yeah, 300 yards...my parents have a HUGE yard.."
"How much did that cost??" She says, starting to worry that this small job she has to do is going to cost a million dollars.\
"Oh not much ...like 500 or something".
Ok. There the conversation went to some other direction, you know how conversations are. So, this Sunday I was planting flowers out at my parents house and I ask my mom. "Hey mom," I say. "How much did the 300 yards of mulch cost?"
"WHAT!?"
"Yeah, didn't we get like 300 yards of mulch"
"uh...no. we got like 8."
Uhoh. I start to think. You can see where this is going....
I go to J and ask him "Hey....Look, how much mulch did we go through last weekend?"
"7 he says." He was there when my dad had it delivered.
"Uh-oh, j.....shit. I fucking told the girl at work we went through 300 yards of mulch!!!"
He proceeds to laugh at me for 5 minutes straight.
300 yards would be something like 2700 square feet.
No wonder everyone looked at me like I was fucking superman!!
Yeah. I am too embarassed now to say anything. There's no way I am going to say to Gretchen "yeah, i fucked up...i was about 282 yards off...sorry about that"
What an idiot!
And, in final news...Did anyone catch my boy Igor Larionov make the final goal in 3rd OT? I LOVE me some Igor Larionov.....
posted at 10:20 AM
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June 06, 2002
I still love you, girl from mars.
I have several things to write about...but I'm in the process of writing them.
Does this make sense, yes?
One of the topics revolves around music (again, I know...I am skilled at the dead-horse beating. ....which would have been even more funny if I kept it at what I originally typed as "dead-whore beating"...i don't know where that came from.)
Anyway.
Yes. The comments are back. Let the games begin.
posted at 12:39 PM
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June 03, 2002
I deleted that last temper tantrum....
The comments section is still gone for now. Who knows when they'll be back.
If you want to talk about something I've written, you can send me email
posted at 9:31 AM
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June 01, 2002
I went to get my hair cut today.
"More spikey less flippy" I asked.
"just shorter in the back, keep the length in the front" I told him.
This is the final result.
It looks the same as I had but shorter.
Funny how that works, isn't it?
I still like it.
posted at 8:21 PM
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