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September 30, 2002
Fish Mosaic
I've become obsessed with mosaics.
more more more.
I think I'm going to make a mosiac birthday card for Clive.
And now for randomness:
* the only two people in Hollywood I would ever marry are Edward Norton and Ethan Embry
* I am capable of copious amounts of hate
* I need to travel, like now.
* I am starting to doubt if I belong in the field of technical/copy writing. I should just do data entry and loathe my job like the rest of the world...
* The only apples that should be eaten go by the name Granny Smith
* Did you know that Granny Smith apples are named from a real Granny Smith who used to own an orchard and supplied her town with fruit. The schoolchildren in the area would stop in the shops and ask for the apples and began calling them "Granny Smith's Apples"...hence, the name.
* Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc(1) still makes me laugh
(1) after this therefore because of this. An example of one of the most common fallacies (ex. Event A happened before Event B...therefore Event A caused event B)
Don't say you don't learn anything from me.
I'm full of useless information!!
posted at 5:05 PM
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September 29, 2002
Guess what?
I've got a fever and the only prescription is ...more cowbell!!!
posted at 12:22 AM
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September 28, 2002
if anyone can tell me what the star on the right is a symbol of, I will be ever so grateful.
The star on the left is the elder star of the chthulhu mythos...also, the same as my tattoo .
I'm really feeling unbalanced as of late and am thinking that I need to get another one on the back of my other knee to balance me out. Maybe that's why I've been so off for awhile, mentally, emotionally. ( Maybe , I said)
I think that this tattoo on the back of my knee may be a replacement for the large Clive - cats I'm thinking of getting on my back.
I don't know how I can arrange to do both, being that there's some proverbial hoops I have to jump through in order to get the one done. I can't imagine what I'd have to do to get the knee one thrown in. I'm being vague for a reason, here.
Anyway, I need to stay busy or I get moody. I'm off!
posted at 11:32 AM
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September 25, 2002
I was having one of those days. Not really a bad day so much. I just spent a great afternoon having lunch with some friends of mine -- ones I love very much and don't get to see that often -- and was sort of introspective about the whole thing.
You see, we all used to work together and stuff....which of course brings me 'round to work. I have a few job leads but nothing solid, yet.
I tend to get a bit moody when I have too much time on my hands, worrying about shit that doesn't mean anything. Complaining and angry.
SO, I get ready to start making dinner and put in a cd.
Morrissey - Southpaw Grammar
and on comes "do your best and don't worry". It's so cheeseball, I know. So very untypical of Morrissey and so very much the thing I needed right then.
Now instead of falling down and kicking myself, I'm bouncing around dancing with my cats.
I'd say that's good news, eh?
posted at 4:18 PM
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September 24, 2002
The character of Anson on the Chris Isaak show is such a complete idiot, rediculously childish and silly...utterly amoral and sex driven. Just stupid. But, he doesn't have a mean bone in his body and you can't help but love him. The thing I love most about this character is that when he's at the worst of his worst, doing something that just makes you cringe, he turns around and plays a bach concerto that makes you weep. You never would expect him to be able to concentrate and feel the music the way he does. It proves that you can be crazy, silly, stupid but still be completely engulfed by the power of music.
It makes me miss playing.
I'm going to look into community orchestras tomorrow. Maybe I'll even rejoin the band at school.
Ha.
posted at 11:00 PM
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It looks as if there is no unemployment office fun for me today. The central computer is down, yet another day, and I will have to wait until it is completely operational with all of its circuits functioning in order to find out what's wrong with my claim.
No Russian Federation folks for me today. Though I did talk to a woman whose accent I can not place. It's definately European but of what origin, I am not sure. It was Slavik-Anglo-Nordic sounding. Strange strange. But she said -- very meanly, I might add -- "I can not do nothing for you today! That computer is down and until it is working you will have to wait!"
I wanted to ask her, if she can't do nothing, does that mean she can really do something but doesn't want to? Does she understand double negatives? I don't know. I didn't want to push my luck -- what with the whole possiblilty of stoning/crucifixion/a thousand years in jail fraud time hanging over my head. Who knows what they do if you're belligerant, too.
I wish I could say I was part of a Federation. How very Star Trek of me. I don't really want so much to be in a part of the Federation of Planets...it's too broad. How 'bout the .............
Forget it. I can't even think of a cool Federation. I'm doomed to be Federation-less. Oh woe is me.
posted at 12:07 PM
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Yes, today I'm off to another exciting day at the unemployment agency! How fun! How thrilling!
It appears that they have my name wrong in addition to the amount on the check --- oh and don't forget the check is a week late! Yay! I hope they don't think I'm doing something that can be constituted as fraud because they have made it more than abundantly clear that (to paraphrase) Fraud is punishable up to a thousand years in jail, one million times the fraudulent amount in restitution, the head of your firstborn child, and one hundred pints of blood. Possibly, a public flogging, stoning and/or crucifixion for 2 days. They take this seriously at the Unemployment Agency. Fraud = bad times for you.
Ah well. There's always a plethora of Russian (or possibly Ukrainian, Armenian, Azerbaijanian, Belarusian, Bulgarian, Czech Republician, Estonian, Georgian, Latvian, Lithuanian, Moldovan, Kazakhstanian, Romanian....basically Russian Federationain.) people to entertain me and get into arguments around me..
I can say to them "Izvinite, ia ne govoriu po-russki. Vy govorite po-angliiski? Dobro pozhalovat' !!"
and they will look at me with love for attempting to speak their language....right?
Maybe not. I wish, though, I could speak five or seven languages fluently. I really think that I'm at a disadvantage only being able to speak English and retarded, fourth grade French. My friend Jessica (who has lived in Germany for nearly 3 years now...was my roommate in college...) has learned to speak German fluently in a short amount of time, why can't I? It's not that hard, really. It's that whole discipline thing that I tend to get annoyed with.
I wish I could fluently converse in Hungarian, Russian, Czech, German, Polish....ok, the whole Eastern European thing is awesome...but I can't rightly say "I wish I could speak Eastern European" because that's just silly. In addition to Tagalog, so I can go visit my family in the Phillipines....there's so many things I have to start learning.
Sometimes I think I make myself overwhelmed so that I don't have to do it at all. That's a horrible habit I need to break. I just need to start at the beginning...and when I get to the end...I stop.
posted at 10:12 AM
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September 22, 2002
I never win anything. I am not an instant winner. I do not win at games, scratch off tickets, lottery, parties, dances...anything. But today I am a winner!
I have won, from Clivebarker.com, a copy of Clive Barker's new book - Abarat...and I believe a limited edition Abarat watch ....How exciting!
I am a winner!
This is so great.
Read more about Abarat...
What a great reason to wake up crack-ass early on a Sunday morning.
posted at 9:39 AM
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September 21, 2002
I'm still debating what to do (if anything) for Clive. Everything I can think of sounds horribly, extremely cheesy and out of line. I don't know. I think I'm a) thinking too hard about it and b) putting him on too high a pedestal... You know how it goes.
So in the meantime, I have been playing a lot of Bust-A-Groove. Yeah, it's a dancing game for playstation. I had part 2, but somehow the cd was cracked in half...much to my dismay. I haven't been able to find part 2 anywhere but I did find the original at the game store for like 24 bucks. That's not bad because I've seen them go as high as 55 bucks on ebay. They're supposedly hard to find. But I'm finding that I'm starting to play it too much. Trying to unlock all the characters in less than a week has become a mission. It's sad, I know.
I'm a sad, sad girl.
...but the game is so fun!
posted at 11:31 AM
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September 17, 2002
On October 5, I will be traveling to see Clive Barker.
This is also his birthday.
Should I do something for him?
Not anything crazy, but you know...something.
Decisions, decisions.
posted at 2:29 PM
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September 15, 2002
I spent the better part of the night at my old favorite goth club -- City Club. It's been one hell of a long time since I've been there. Not because I dislike the place but because I just got old and tired.
So yeah, for birthday celebrations, wouldn't it be fun to run down to City Club? Yeah. I didn't feel like getting dressed up so I just wore a twin peaks shirt and some black cargo pants. Eeerie! Fear my spooky attire. Yeah.
Anyway, it was interesting, it was fun. They played decent music..a good time was had by all. Until. We saw someone from our past that I do not want to see. I hate this whore to my very soul. She and I used to be good friends in high school and suddenly she became adept at the art of backstabbing. Oddly enough, she and J. used to date long before I knew either of them....when he and I started dating she totally and completely just tore me up thinking that would convince him to run to her. Yeah. It didn't work...stupid whore. I hate her.
Oh alright.
When it comes down to it, I guess, I don't really hate her. I could care less if she's happy or not. She's really a non-entity to me.
I just get irritated by her. She's like a piece of mascara in my eye. It hurts but then it gets flushed out and you're fine.
How's that for an analogy?
Where am I going with this?
Ah. I hate her. I don't hate her. You decide what's the real truth, yeah, okay? City Club was fun. A lot more people in my age bracket than last time I was there. It was comforting. A lot less blatant sluts than last time. A lot more people who were interested in dancing. It made me really want to do speed and drink, though, which isn't a good thing.
The smoke got to me and I bit a straw in half.
Yeah so I was chewing a straw to keep from smoking.
My heart thanks me.
So ends a birthday. The end.
posted at 1:49 AM
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September 14, 2002
oh man oh man oh man. What a great fucking show. What an incredible amazing show. What a super duper hell of a show.
I was within spitting distance of my future love-toy, Martin Rossiter. The entire band had me entranced for the duration of the show. I didn't want to talk to anyone, I didn't want to even know what time it was ...(and if you know me, you know I have an obsessive-compulsive desire to always know the time while I'm out, say, at the movies or at concerts)
I just wanted the band to play and play and play.
Martin is very witty and very fluid. He moves like water. When he sings you know that the words he sings are more than just words...he feels them, he believes what he says is true. You would swear at some points, he was even crying. He looks at the microphone as an extension of his soul, looking, staring and smiling at it as if its a lover. He's coy, sticking his tounge out in playfullness. During a brief pause in between songs, you could hear the THUMP THUMP THUMP of the band upstairs and he was mock shooting a rifle through the ceiling...something about "the youth with their smelly hooded sweaters and their free spirits." He made himself laugh. He had fun. He swivled his hips. With each thrust a shockwave of incredible sexuality burst through the crowd. After one particularly poignant song, during which he was looking very sad and hurt, he said "ah, I've just remembered why I've written that song, which I don't often do" or some such. It's so easy to love each song even more, when you know he loves them too. They're not bullshit words that sound good to the music.
The music.
It's so incredible to go to a concert and experience the song as it is on the cd. I'm not talking note for note replication of their cds, but they play live how they sound recorded. They are not a mock band ..built through creative use of synthesizers and digitizing. They are true. Even though it was loud, in the tiny basement called "The Shelter", they were pure. They were themselves. They were brilliant.
Before they came on stage, I was watching the stage manager guy set out the playlists. Oh how I needed one!!! They were handwritten! So, of course, throughout the duration of the show, I was eyeing everyone, silently noting in my head which ones I thought might try to steal my precious. No one can get my precioussssss! So, as soon as they were done and off the stage, I ran up and snagged the one that Martin was reading!
Yes! His eyes glanced upon this piece of wonderful white paper! Mayhaps he even dropped a bead of sweat or two.
Okay, yes, that's going a bit far. But, anyway, for your perusal here's the setlist:
1. For the Dead
2. Never Walk Again
3. Walking in the Shallows
4. Haunted By You
5. Yours For The Taking
6. Speak To Me Someone
7. Let Me Move On
8. British Disease
9. Georgia to Osaka
10. We Could Be Kings
11. Olympian
12. Be My Light
encore: Where are they now
London, can you wait...
I don't think I'll ever be at a more magical show in my life. I completely forgot my surroundings, nearly cried at two points and just fell 100 percent head over heels in love with the band. It was beautiful. What a wonderful birthday present to myself. (even though it's today! yeah! I'm old!)
posted at 11:14 AM
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September 13, 2002
Gene concert is tonight. Wee Wee Wee!
I am so excited i can barely contain myself.
EXCITEMENT ABOUNDS!
Seriously.
So far the unemployed life is alright. I found out that my unemployment checks are going to be almost 50 dollars less than what I was getting while I was working...which is a sweet deal. I may go back to school (again) to finish out my fucking last semester at Eastern...and i can actually take those day classes that I haven't been able to take for a long time.
We'll see.
I've also taken up ....*sigh* crocheting.Yep. i'm crocheting a scarf.
Maybe I need to get a job afterall?
posted at 1:40 PM
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September 11, 2002
My opinons on what I think we should do today is irrelevant. Who cares what I think. Do what you think you should do. Celebrate or don't. Honor someone by wearing red, white or blue...or don't.
Just feel something.
The only thing that is going through my head is how frightening it must have been...to die like that.
I don't know. I grieve today for families and friends who have experienced a tremendous loss.
Today really doesn't feel like a day I want to get angry or political. I just want to be.
One Year Ago Today: Oddly enough I was laid off and watching cnn from the same spot I am in now....laid off, watching cnn...
posted at 11:26 AM
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September 06, 2002
GOD DAMN IT ALL TO HELL
Why haven't I been watching CSI like a good forensic loving girl that I am??
WHY?? Why hasn't someone told me to watch it sooner??
WHY??? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!? You know I can't remember things on my own!
DAMN IT !!
This is the best show on tv. Ever. Do you hear me? EVER!!!
posted at 11:21 PM
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Two songs that make me weepy:
Elvis Presley - "I can't help falling in love with you"
Frank Sinatra - "The way you look tonight"
Runner up: Elvis Presley - "You were always on my mind" (It makes me think of the movie Elvis and Me...they play it at the end over a montage of home video that Elvis had shot of Priscilla and Lisa Marie. I always cry and say to myself "Boy Elvis, you were a womanizer and a drug user and manwhore...but you really loved your 'cilla!!!" *CRYCRY*)
Go ahead and poke your fun, I'm the first one to admit I'm an idiot.
posted at 9:52 AM
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September 05, 2002
Notes taken while spending 6 hours in the Unemployment Office today
There's a man who wanted very badly to get into the Women's bathroom. There are people here who REEK! No one speaks english, here. People get hostile at other people who approch the desk and do not have a number. This is not the same unemployment office I remember going to with my dad when his plant went on strike. At that time it seemed to be filled with shop workers who all had black metal lunch pails - sad looks and hard lines on their faces. I feel very proud of my blue collar background. How do I know he's back? The giant cloud of cigarette smoke that's floating over him like a thick blue tarp. Fat and messy women with nails that would have cost a week's wages. People can not sit still. I swear that this one lady is on coke or speed. She sits forward, sits back, sits forward and is practically jumping up and down in her seat, shifting her weight. She's getting entirely too excited when the unemployment officer talks to her. There's a large Russian community here. It's too easy to get sucked into the mob mentality, sitting here. The lady is gone - you want to throttle someone, you want to yell and scream. I know she's not fucking around but still. I want to shake her and yell. Is uh-oh a universal word? There is no Russian word for communication. The people next to me keep speaking speaking speaking in Russian but only say "communication" in English. I could listen to it for hours. I want them to say "microfilm". People love to talk about themselves about how long th lines are and as I get older I find I am more adept at making small talk and complaining about the wait and the weather. Is this a good thing? It's almost embarassing.
She's rocking in her chair while she's on the phone. She doesn't even know where she is. "I'm in some building in Sterling Heights." Wrong. I can't believe she doesn't even know ...why is she waiting here? I only know about drugs by what I see on TV. What is she on? I can hear her cellphone from across the room. I had a dream that everyone had mullets and they all had glowing laser lights on the end...like those fiber optic things you got at the circus. Some people had longer hair than the others. I remember wishing I would wake up. I fear stretching has caught on....why not nose stretching or plate lips? That whole tribal thing confuses me. Subrban white kids that have generally grown up in afflunce. What are you rebeling from? Comfort?
If a man looks like Sam Elliott or my dad I immediately trust them. "House on the lake ! It's only 851! In West Bloomfield! And I'm like WHY IS IT SO CHEAP!!!" What? What? She's at the unemployment office! What?? I'm permanently brain damaged because of this conversation. 851 ...eight hundred and fifty one thousand??? And she's going to school. So and so Found a house....I hope it means an apartment in said house. Please let it be an apartment. Grr. Overhead: "SHIT DUDE! you've GOTTA have feathers!!" The longer I sit the shorter my pateince is. I have only heard one out of 9 people turn on the sink in the bathroom. The video they play raises more questions than it answers. People actually get up and stand behind others who are being helped because they are too impatient to wait any longer. People allow their kids to kick me and my chair but if I say something they are all up in my face. The louder you groan and sigh is not equal to how fast you will get helped.It is not a revelation that the unemployment office takes a long time.
A girl with a child - they're laughing and encouraging her son to say shit. The older you get the less patience you have. I am worried I will be a bad mother. I can't stand it when kids don't talk but grunt and point at something. I can't stand it. I don't like body fluids. I don't like having to say "no no no no no no no no no" Then why do i want kids? I like their goofyness and their innocence. They're crazy and silly and unique. I like the questions they ask and their curiosity. I don't know...it's too early to say yet. People like ot complain about waiting because they like to hear themselves talk. I remembered another thing. I hate screams and tantrums. I'm scared of mentally handicapped adults. I think it's because of this kid I grew up with who used to pin me down and hurt me. He wasn't right in the head. I can not take a buff man who has a donald duck keychain on his leather snoopy backpack seriously. The longer I sit the more I start to understand why people snap
I imagine myself shooting people in the face so I can get in line faster. I want to drop kick the kid behind me and his dumb shit saying mother. I want to smack people in the mouth if they complain one more time. it all sounds crazy and completely justifiable. (unreadable) sitting here I'm going to go on a killing spree. This is my confession. I waited for more than 4 hours in an uncomfortable chair in a stifilng hot room listening to nothing but complaint after complaint. Fuck you. And all I'm hoping for is lunch. LUNCH. Why am I embarassed about having to yell out HERE when they call my number??
posted at 10:20 PM
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September 04, 2002
I got laid off.
It was a suprise to everyone in the department, especially since I have just received a raise due to an exceptionally high and glowing performance review.
Odd.
I'm fucking pissed and sad.
That's all I want to say about that.
posted at 5:19 PM
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Interesting language facts that you would otherwise not know (or care about):
"Chicano" means "Mexican-American," and not all the people denoted by this term like it. When speaking of people from various other Spanish-speaking countries, "Chicano" is an error for "Latino" or "Hispanic." Only "Hispanic" can include people with a Spanish as well as with a Latin American heritage; and only "Latino" could logically include Portuguese-speaking Brazilians, though that is rarely done.
"Etc." is an abbreviation for the Latin phrase et cetera, meaning "and others." (Et means "and" in French too.) Just say "et cetera" out loud to yourself to remind yourself of the correct order of the "T" and "C." Also to be avoided is the common mispronunciation "excetera." "And etc." is a redundancy.
People seeking to be up-to-the-minute often indulge in such redundancies as "in today's modern society" or "in the modern society of today." This is empty arm-waving which says nothing more than "now" or "today." A reasonable substitute is "contemporary society." Such phrases are usually indulged in by people with a weak grasp of history to substitute for such more precise expressions as "for the past five years" or "this month."
The original meaning of the word camouflage is: The smoke blown into people's eyes, in fun or seriously, to blind them from observing what was going on around them
(Notice, I am finding etymology interesting because I have nothing to do...I am bored, damn it. There's problems at work and all of the supervisors are either in meetings or quitting! Yikes)
posted at 2:41 PM
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September 03, 2002
How do I follow up a post like that? I don't know how, so I won't try to out do it.
Two things I have become obsessed with lately. They're re-obsessions, so it's not like I'm developing something new to pine over.
1. Hal Hartley
2. French music/movies
I don't understand the french obsession. I've always been mildly entertained by the French, partially annoyed, mostly indifferent. I have taken approximately 4 or 5 years of French classes. I can get by, for the most part....if it's with a group of children or mildly retarted adults. I don't really mind their cheeses and their baguettes and their OHhh-ho-ho's. I can even let their "We are zo much better zan you seeeleey A-mer-ecan typesuh." attitude go.
I've narrowed it down to what I don't like:
I don't like the French-Canadians.
They can all go to hell.
But anyway, I digress. The commercial that has started my French-love renaissance is a French Nike Commercial.
(or Commercials as the case may be)
Hi-Larious!
Today I wrote an ad to the entire production department in my office (There's a whopping 14 of us!!) trying to persuade them to take home some Habanero peppers.
The ad reads:
Hello! On the light table sits a ziplock baggie full of orange little peppers. What are these peppers? Why do they look like pumpkins?
Well, they are the world’s hottest pepper, better known as the Habanero or the Scotch Bonnet Pepper!!
They’re the amazing pepper that gives Jamaican Jerk its distinctive flavor!
YAY!!
The amazing heat of the Habanero can be tempered by using other ingredients, so don’t be put off by the fire, baby! Used in moderation, this chile is extremely flavorful. It will add a light, citrus flavor to your recipes. The Habanero chile is a great compliment to chutneys, stir fry, soups, or even pizza!
When eating Habaneros, your body releases endorphins. Endorphins act as a natural pain reliever and its chemical make up is similar to that of opiates.
Why get hooked on drugs? Get hooked on Habaneros instead!
Make a fiery salsa to wow your friends!
Create a flavorful and exotic stir fry!
MAKE YOUR OWN PEPPER SPRAY!!
The possibilities are endless!
Get the Habanero and take it home.
Eat it.
Love it.
END AD.
I love it when I entertain myself.
And remember, kids...
Germans may love David Hasselhoff but the French Love Jerry Lewis.
posted at 11:21 AM
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