July 14, 2004

Today, I saved a large, many-legged bug from dying a drowning death in my dog's outdoor water bowl.

I coaxed him into crawling onto a small branch so I could transport him to safety.

"Yay!" I said, when he happily crawled off the branch onto the deck.

"AGH!" I screamed, when he happily scampered after me, his creepy large antennae waving at me, hairy legs all moving, crawling, creepy ick.

I ran like hell to get away from him.

However, he can't deny it. His life now belongs to me. He must do my bidding and my chores.


posted at 4:02 PM

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July 08, 2004

It is widely known that I write for a living.

It is also widely known (perhaps even throughout the tri-state area) that I am growing increasingly hateful towards this job. It may have something to do with the fact that we have to work a manditory 45 hours a week, no more paid lunch time AND we have to punch a clock -- all in a company that has like 25 people working for it.
Or that I am going to have to write a lot in template form and the little creativity I am allowed to employ will be lost in some lame template.

Oh and I get paid PEANUTS. Peanuts, I say.

So yesterday, when I was fretting and fussing over my lack of love for the job, I turned on the history channel and watched Modern Marvels to cheer me up. I watched two really interesting shows about coal mining and salt mining. Suddenly, the realization of what I wanted to do with my life hit me in the face with the thickness and furiosity of a large trout.

I want to drive and operate heavy machinery for a living!!

Just take a look at this awesome truck! Look at the tiny, little man standing next to the mighty majestic coal truck. It's incredible.
It has a 20 foot wheel base. Do you know how fun that would be to drive around all day?

Plus, you can just drive the truck and leave it at the end of the day. You don't have to worry about deadlines or clients. You just drop your 360 ton payload and go home! Plus, you're probably union so you would get a really good insurance package. Nevermind the black lung.

OR!

I want to drive this crazy thing in a salt mine. Or this one
Either one is a huge giant thing with spinning blades that cut salt from the earth.

You work underground digging without really breaking a sweat. It's relatively cool and you get to wear a helmet with a light on it.

I could even bring lunch to work in a metal pail like the black one in front .

I would get a name like "drivey" or "digger" or "shovley" cos I drove the digging shoveling machine.

And also, I bet salt workers are union, too, with good insurance packages. Nevermind the extra salt that makes your skin turn to beef jerky.

posted at 3:20 PM

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