August 04, 2004

Once upon a time, I was a producer. I produced/directed/shot/wrote/edited/and unfortunately sometimes starred in television commercials.
I won awards for my mad editing skillz.
I also worked on a few independent movies, some with large budgets, some with very small budgets.

But it always was the same -- fucking film people and their pretentious bullshit. One movie I worked on, the director wore a white scarf everywhere he went as if he were some famous Hollywood director of the 40s. I hated him. He was also responsible for writing dialogue into a movie that was:

WAR ANGEL looks down, reaches up to OFFICER BRADY's face. WAR ANGEL turns BRADY's face and speaks

WAR ANGEL
Look into the eyes....the eyes of death.


He thought this was the shit. They spent a majority of their budget on getting some "famous" Hollywood costume designer to design these war angel outfits.
It was terrible
I cut my hand pretty bad while trying to operate the wings on their suits. (To get them to flap, we rigged up fishing line to a clothespin and stood in the balcony about 30 feet up from them and flapped our arms hanging onto the clothes line. ugh)

I digress. When we were on break from shooting, everyone would sit around and try to outdo each other with their stories - how much they work in the "industry", who they know, what they know, blah blah blah. It was a big snob fest.

Everywhere I go, whenever I run into a "film person," it's always the same. Me me me me me look at what I can do, look at what I did, I know this about this because I AM SIMPLY THE GREATEST!

Bragging does not make you the best. Humility makes me interested in what you have to say. The more of a cockhead you are the less I am inclined to see your crapbag "film" that you made on your super-8 "to give it that aged look." you pretentious sack of shit.

I have a film degree but you don't see me waltzing around talking about mise-en-scene or having a discussion about the merits of shooting on film vs. digital. SHUT IT.

I have won awards for editing but you don't see me dragging them around in my backpack to showcase their shiny gold goodness to strangers.

Yet funnily enough (funnily? It might be ironically, but I always use the word incorrectly so I just don't use it at all) the reason I bring up this rant is because of my own film pretentions.

I was talking with some coworkers about the movie Citizen Kane. Jen asked when it was made.
1941, I said.
Mr. I know it all and I have everything to say about everything (incidentally, he also reads over my shoulder when I'm trying to eat lunch and it really irritates me.) pipes in and starts with the "no, no, it was made much later than that. i know because I know it all."
No, I'm pretty sure it was 1941, I said.
"No, are you sure? I'm pretty sure it was later than that." mr. ass says.
Ah, so I proved him wrong by showing him the date of its release in the magazine I was reading.

Then, he proceeded to showcase his knowledge for the film trying to one-up everything I said about it.

Finally, I just told him to stop it and dont try to usurp my knowledge because I have a film degree and he doesn't.

Right then and there I wanted to slap myself in the mouth. I am a fucking film person. For shame.
posted at 10:26 AM

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