April 2005.
4-28-05
The Commentary
Well I once read somewhere that roughly five hundred thousand people are doing political blogs. Now the number may be off by a few hundred thousand but still it leaves a limited number of people who actually give two shits about what I'm politically blogging about and at least half of those disagree with me. While there are literally millions of people looking for games, porn, and jokes. While I am sure some of you die hard debaters out there might disagree with me I have to say I get alot more hits from porn sites and game sites. The readers there looking for more fun and games so to speak and the political readers already inundated with their fair share of bile from their previous readings. So please forgive this site as I further desc end the ladder and cater to my growing readership. Yes folks I may add more porn. And for the right price I'll get you pictures of George Bush naked screwing a bunny rabbit, because this administration has it's price. Question is, what's the price of pictures of Georgie doing the bunni? I'm betting it's cheaper than one would expect. And what would their offspring look like? No one knows but we can all conjecture. Hmmmmmmmm?
The Picture
The Quote
"Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blind-folded fear." "Thomas Jefferson"
The Porn
Tennis Porn
Pooh Porn
The Games
Grain Strain
Youda Sperm
The Joke
A man was having problems with premature ejaculation. This was affecting marital relations with his wife so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what could he do to cure his problem.
In response the doctor said, "When you feel the urge to ejaculate, try startling yourself".
One the way home the man went to a sports store and bought himself a starter pistol. All excited to try out this suggestion he runs home to his wife. When he gets home he is surprised and delighted to find his wife in bed, already naked. He's so horney and keen to try out his new 'system' that he doesn't think twice and leaps on board.
After a few minutes ‘slap and tickle’, they find themselves in the '69' position. Sure enough, only moments later the man feels the sudden urge to come. Following doctor’s orders, he grabs the starter pistol off the bedside table and fires it.
The next day, the man went back to the doctor. The doctor asked, "How did it go?"
The man answered, "Just great, asshole...when I fired the pistol my wife shit on my face, bit 3 inches off my dick and my neighbor came out of the closet naked with his hands in the air!"
The Things I've Written.
Disjointed Text "pulled from archives"
The Comments
Todays additions to the Links to Left.
The New Enlightenment
4-27-05
The Commentary
You know with everyone going off about the Bolton thing I really didn't want to jump on the bandwagon, but........... Ain't there always. I mean look his music isn't that good. His long hair could very easily be viewed as homosexual, but he isn't that bad. On the other hand he isn't that good either. Who ever heard about a musician getting an ambassadorship. Is it because Bush and the missus like his ballads? "What?" "Michael?" "Not the same guy?" Oh. Never mind. I have no clue who "that" Bolton is. Never mind. I'm sure he's as good a pick as all the rest of the presidents picks. Let's just trust GW. He hasn't lied to us so far has he?
The Picture
The Quote
"What progress we are making. In the Middle Ages they would have burned me. Now they are content with burning my books." "Sigmund Freud"
The Porn
Vintage Porn
Sidewalk Porn
The Games
BrainSplatters 2
Ol' Tooty
The Joke
A older lady was shopping in a supermarket when she noticed a handsome muscular boy doing the bagging at one of the checkouts.
Making sure to go through his line, she leans over and asks if he'll carry her groceries out to which he responds, "Sure lady."
They no sooner get out of the store when she again leans over and whispers "You know, I have an itchy pussy."
To which he responds, "You'll have to point it out lady, all those Japanese cars look alike to me!!".
The Things I've Written.
Disjointed Text "pulled from archives"
The Comments
Todays additions to the Links to Left.
Libertythink
4-26-05
The Commentary
Mind your own business. I heard that alot more often as a child than I do now. Now it seems people are trying to mind other peoples business. I mean they can't be happy living their perfect lives unless they drag us along. And some of us really really really don't want to join in. But gone are the days when people minded their own business and left others imperfections and flaws alone. Gone are the days when a child needing an asswhipping got one. Those darling angels grandparents adore are not much different than ourselves who turned out kinda okay despite the fact our parents gave us some well deserved beat downs. Instead government is telling us how to live. Telling us how to raise our kids. I know I've been through it but.......... Always ain't they. We are told what we can or cannot drink. Ever heard of absynth? What drugs we can put in our bodies and where we can buy those drugs. Just think of the hundred of thousands doing time for drug charges and the seniors being blocked from buying Canadian drugs. We're told who we can screw and where. As in gays and the military. They are trying to tell us how to eat. How to live. How to raise our kids. And little by little they are stepping out of the bounds of just telling us, but are legislating their opinion off on everyone else. And they conviently use the majority rule scam. Because when the citizens of a state vote to legalize pot for medical patients then the federal government steps in, well seems like anything else they are really selective in what majority rule they will allow and what they won't. It's not the mantle Republican I loathe so much. It isn't conservative. It's people who believe they are representing the morals of the country when in all actuallity they are shoving theirs on to those of us who don't share them. We are but two shakes away from mentioning they also do control who and what you can worship to a certain degree. Perhaps that is why I am so bitter towards our leaders. Because they lead a lie. The whole idea of freedom is far from me because I have never been free. Instead forced to attend school longer than I felt. Not allowed to take a job when I was ready. Not allowed to drink, to drive, to do drugs, to fuck, to swear, to not hold a job once old enough, to not worship as the rest, to wear my hair long, wear my clothes as I wanted. The list just goes on. For some people perhaps they believe they are free. For many in this country we are not free but subjugated. And with the growing list of laws that don't mind their own business you can expect the many to become many more. Family and friends feeling the effects. The poorest communities hit the hardest. The richer communities as always using their wealth for lawyers so the law doesn't apply to them. Life goes on, it's all a sham, it's all a lie, and any other country out there attacking Americans thinking we change one thing in this country is a lost buffoon. YO! Terrorist. Wise up. Do you think average Americans control crap in our government? Didn't you see the last two elections? Haven't you watched the fall of our media? Don't you see the motivations and movements of our leaders and their policies? Stop killing us. Which makes me wonder about the soldiers. I wouldn't wanna be one. To have to kill another human. Now if the mother fucker was shooting at me now.......... But no I really don't want to be off in another country killing people or I would have signed up to that ad in Soldier of Fortune magazine so long ago. But what about those soldiers. How will this mind fuck them if say years from now they start feeling a bit of sympathy for the people they killed? How exactly is this helping our country? Can the truth not be told? Can the truth be that it is for the good of this country and it's mighty dirty dealings. Because fair play doesn't come into things. We cannot compete globally. We are not producing the majority of what the world needs. Do the math people, do the math. Aww crap. I'm outta beer. Lucky you. Now I gotta figuire out how to get more so you ain't gotta read no mores of this crap. Go play.
The Picture
The Quote
"Today, the degradation of the inner life is symbolized by the fact that the only place sacred from interruption is the private toilet." "Lewis Mumford"
The Porn
Political Activist Porn
Social Drinking Porn
The Games
The Hiding Room
Save The Sheriff
The Joke
I feel sorry for people who don’t drink or do drugs. Because someday they’re going to be in a hospital bed, dying, and they won’t know why.
The Things I've Written.
Militant Religion
The Comments
Todays additions to the Links to Left.
Eroticalee2
4-25-05
The Commentary
Here again I bring you the list. People who read my site and have a blog that aren't ashamed of me. Well maybe they aren't known associates and only link to me as a show of what not to emulate. Or maybe they are all laughing at me behind my back. The bastards. I'll get them. Just you wait. But with my blog roll getting huge I find myself visiting places less and less as I do more in the way of updating when I have the chance. All the long hours finding new porn. And those games. It's hard to find games and pictures to keep you entertained. This is hard work dammit. Honest. Really. Oh screw you. Go read these links and get back to me. I hate when the voices in my head start sounding like disgruntled readers. I've gotta go medicate them into silence so you visit, comment, and check out people who actually linked this site. Not all of them are insane, completely, yet.
No this isn't some cheap way to get out of actually writing something. I really do think you should get out and do more.
So? Didn't you hear me? I said get and and do more. Now get out and do. Off with you.
American Samizdat
Approximately Perfect
Astonished Head
Badger's Bastion
Barbarian Blog
Blah3
Busy Busy Busy
Call of Cthulhu
Clara's Victory Dance
Coffee House Studio
Eccentricity
Florida Cracker
Gay Hamster
Gimpy's Weblog
Hairy Fish Nuts
In Search of Utopia
Joel's Home Page
Kenny's Bunk Port
Liberal Patriots
The Monkey Cage
My Little Corner of the World
My Blahg
My Single Mom Life
No Touch Monkey
Ole Blue The Heretic
Pamella's Gifts
Pissed On Politics
Political Shock
Post Atomic
Revolutionary Paradigm
Scaramouche Blog
Scratchings
Semidi
Seldom Sober
The Original Musings
The River
War Forever
Weird Events
Whoviating
The Picture
The Quote
"I think that the leaf of a tree, the meanest insect on which we trample, are in themselves arguments more conclusive than any which can be adduced that some vast intellect animates Infinity." "Percy Bysshe Shelley"
The Porn
Daisy Chain Porn
Arabian Nights Porn
The Games
Vlax
Space Dude
The Joke
One day two boys were walking through the woods when they saw some rabbit shit. One of the boys said, ''What is that?''
''They're smart pills,'' said the other boy. ''Eat them and they'll make you smarter.
So he ate them and said, ''These taste like shit.''
''See,'' said the other boy, ''you're already getting smarter.''
The Things I've Written.
Militant Religion
The Comments
Todays additions to the Links to Left.
Crooks And Liars
4-22-05
The Commentary
So of late I have been harping on about Baby Jane. I mean who exactly is Baby Jane? No not the one from the movie, but close. Baby Jane is the one from the movies. The starlett. The reactionary. Ted Turner's moll. The aerobics nazi. While one wonders why anyone ever gave her words credence so long ago they have to be led to believe it is because she had fame, the limelight. She chose to use it for her own agendas. Good for her I say. But why would anyone give her word merit. She after all has about as much knowledge of alot of these subjects as say, me. Well again it was because of that limelight, that public spotlight that presents and opportunity for a person to get noticed. So in a way Jane was a blogger. Bloggers currently are afforded a spotlight of sorts. We are currently being recognized as the third media. And some of our luckiest or brightest are being given the chance to shine so to speak for the public at large. They only follow in the footsteps of other opportunist before them. Baby Jane being one. And recently Baby Jane was spat at. Comes with the job syas I. If you point out to the world the angry actions of a bigoted group expect them to act angrily in a bigoted fashion. So today's commentary is dedicated to Baby Jane. An opportunist that seldom failed to grab fate as it passed. We can only hope for as much.
The Picture
The Quote
"In the fevered state of our country, no good can ever result from any attempt to set one of these fiery zealots to rights, either in fact or principle. They are determined as to the facts they will believe, and the opinions on which they will act. Get by them, therefore, as you would by an angry bull; it is not for a man of sense to dispute the road with such an animal." "Thomas Jefferson"
The Porn
Honeymoon Porn
Statue Porn
The Games
You Da Fly
Indiana Jones
The Joke
A 70 year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow." The next day the 70 year old man reappears at the doctor's office and gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as on -- the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explains: "Well, doc, it's like this: First I tried with my right hand, but, nothing. Then I tried with-my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She - tried with her right hand, with nothing. Then her left, but nothing. She - even tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with the teeth-out, and still nothing. We even called up the lady next door and-she tried with both hands and her mouth too, but nothing."
The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?" the old man replied, "yep, but no matter what we tried we couldn't get the DARN jar open!"
The Things I've Written.
Militant Religion
The Comments
Todays additions to the Links to Left.
WTF Is It Now?
4-21-05
The Commentary
The Homeless. The movement to legislate morals. The legislation of groups who have the right to force others into programs to stop drinking, drugs, gambling, screwing, smoking, breathing. The push to make all citizens in the perfect image. A worker who gladly shows up to work every day. Has great health. No addictions outside of a compulsion to put in overtime. No ideas outside of those supplied by the media. But thwarted in their efforts to create the super race in the short time they have they seek to legislate what people can and cannot do with their bodies. See the abortion debate for the real clash. But the crazy loon ladies who busted into the salloon and made drinking illegal are rearing their ugly head again. We've seen it for years in the ongoing drug war. Countless wasted lives in the attempt to legislate someone else's sense of morallity. We've seen it in the unconstitutional treatment of gays in both the military, but civilian life as well. And we see it now more than ever in the push to criminalize all drinking. The prohibitionist have snuck into office. We saw where it ended last time. Are we doomed to repeat past mistakes over and over? And what about China when they outlawed the British and American opium shipments? And what exactly does all of this have to do with baby Jane?
The Picture
The Quote
"Addiction, obesity, starvation (anorexia nervosa) are political problems, not psychiatric: each condense and expresses a contest between the individual and some other person or persons in his environment over the control of the individual’s body." "Thomas Szasz"
The Porn
Da De De De Da De Doo Doo Porn
Bodybuilding Porn
The Games
Mmeow
Brain Force
The Joke
An 80 year old man is having his annual checkup. The doctor asks him how he's feeling.
"I've never been better," he replies. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant with my child! What do you think about that?"
The doctor considers this for a moment, then says, "Well, let me tell you a story. I know a guy who's an avid hunter. He never misses a season. But, one day he's in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his gun. So he's walking in the woods near a creek and suddenly spots a beaver in some brush in front of him? He raises up his umbrella, points it at the beaver and squeezes the handle...
*BAM* The beaver drops dead in front of him."
"That's impossible!" said the old man in disbelief, "Someone else must have shot that beaver."
"EXACTLY!"
The Things I've Written.
Militant Religion
The Comments
Todays additions to the Links to Left.
Inside The Mind Of Gloria Brame
4-20-05
The Commentary
Well as some have been noticing I have been quietly harping about conditions in Iraq. Dropping a hint here or there for my very serious blogger friends who drop by looking for a possible scoop hidden in the layers of shit I spout out. But tis too late for many of you. Washington folks have openly admitted defeat perse, in that they have killed spending plans for some of that great infrastructure they were building in Iraq because it just isn't going to plan. Now the plan was to go in and have flowers thrown at our feet. Bad plan. Didn't work. The plan was we'd need a lot less troops. Bad plan, we needed more troops and had to do forced reenlistments. We planned to bring a sense of justice to Iraq and stop the torture. Bad plan. We not only didn't bring justice, we were and often are the ones accused of torture. And now the main shining light outside of the Democratic purple fingered election, you know the schools, water, and sewer systems we're fixing up, well they are already falling apart and we are scrubbing plans of sending more money to fix it like we'uns said we's was gonna do. An abysmal failure through and through. The word quagmire would come to mind if it was deep enough and filled with enough shit. Cesspool might fit but it just isn't quite big enough. We are in very deep doo and need to extract ourselves now. I once suggested the need to stay the course even though I disagreed with the war, with Bush, with just about everything, but folks, now is the time to depart. Cut our losses. Cut the profits going to that select few. And fix stuff at home. But instead of working on serious exit strategy our administration has sent the clown off on a literal dog and pony show touting the new name that screws us all. Their pet Social Security thing. Folks, if this administration came up with a campaign saying "We won't screw you in the ass!" I'd rush out to buy some KY Jelly. Because what they say and what they do have no connection whatsoever. Enduring Freedom? Yes the Iraqis are enduring the freedom we shoved down their throats and those who don't do it nicely and quietly get dragged off to insurgency jail. Clear Skys? Can't you just smell the mercury? Clean Waters? Yeah we'd hate to get the water too clean. And those factories can't compete globally unless we cut your pay and pollute your lands. As if Americans want to compete globally. I myself do not feel like working for a few dollars a day. I don't want to live in a mud hut. And I really would like good medical care for my family and self. And alot of those countries we are globally competing with don't have Workers Comp, or Social Security to worry about now do they. We should copy their system because it's such a lovely example of profit. The bottom line. Greed. Is it simple greed that will do us all in? Simple want for more wealth and more power? And where is Shazam when we really need him?
The Picture
The Quote
"The Pope? How many divisions has he got?" "Joseph Stalin"
The Porn
Roo Porn
Medievil Waterwheel Porn
The Games
Exmortis
Cooking For Beginers
The Joke
Shakey went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there's somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under. "you gotta help me, I'm going crazy!"
"Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears."
"How much do you charge?"
"A hundred dollars per visit."
"I'll sleep on it," said Shakey.
Six months later the doctor met Shakey on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.
"For a hundred buck's a visit? A bartender cured me for ten dollars."
"Is that so! How?"
"He told me to cut the legs off the bed!"
The Things I've Written.
Belch "pulled from archives"
The Comments
Todays additions to the Links to Left.
Blahgies!
4-19-05
The Commentary
Well there is now a new pope. Funny how I a non Catholic am expected to accept others belief that the pope is the voice of God on Earth. Now don't get me wrong I'm not anti Catholic, though I still fear nuns, but isn't there a Michael Jackson trial to cover or something? I mean sure Iraq and Afghanistan aren't pretty news much anymore, but can't we get a little in depth reporting on what's happening there? Or will pointing out flagrant mistakes from dear leaders make it harder to gut, I mean save, Social Security? Who knows, maybe Bush's handlers have shortened his leash a bit in hopes of that Bush in 2008 ticket having a chance. Because we all know the mad little monkey can barely talk straight, ride a Segway straight, walk straight, or shoot straight. And the more speeches he gives the dumber he looks. Maybe just maybe someone somewhere is wising up to the fact that there guy needs to be kept in a box out of the spotlight before he piddles on the floor once again. Bad President bad. While a friend just caught sight of my page and was offended I didn't like Bush. I offered that it was okay he did like Bush and that I didn't but he seemed offended I wasn't a Bush backer. He actually suggested the real reason he voted for Bush was because of Bush's Christianity. He left while I was still laughing and I think he may have been a little offended. But he'll get over it.
The Picture
The Quote
"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand." "Homer Simpson"
The Porn
Plastic Piggy Porn
Walrus Porn
The Games
Sonic The Hedgehog
The Lab
The Joke
An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday
evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.
The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him. The old man said, "I don't think you understand, I want something very special."
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000," the jeweler said.
The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled
with excitement. The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it."
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, by check. " I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon," he said.
Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the old man.
"There's no money in that account."
"I know", said the old man, "but can you imagine the weekend I had?".
The Things I've Written.
Brain Burps
The Comments
Todays additions to the Links to Left.
bitpuddle:POTD
4-18-05
The Commentary
I've been a total bum. I had poor work habits at work, at home, on my blog. Now it isn't like any of this is going to change. I just thought I'd openly admit my failings. Nothing better to start a nice little rambling babble of brain salad than an admission of fault which ties you into humanity ergo your readers. Hope you feel tied in. A little bondage is probably good for everybody.
Iraq. An image of all that can go good with nation building? Or a failure right down to the failing water and electric operations? Why must we focus on the few things that look to be going right and then totally ignore them when they go wrong? Why is it the media both whinger and lefty refuse to really report? Come on. I've told you before. "Because it doesn't sell." Americans and much of the rest of the w orld don't want to hear about things going wrong that they probably should be helping to fix. They are already tired of working and most feel they've given their fair share. They want to hear things are getting better thanks to them working. They don't want to be told that there is this huge terrible mess and it's time to clean it up. They don't want to be told anything. They want to be entertained. News sells when it entertains. And since there are party lines and classes within our system there will be different outlets designed to entertain each demographic group. Groups studied since their births with the sole purpose of divesting them of their limited wealth at every turn. The bitter and vocal that speaks out too boldly against our current form of government will be quietly dealt with. FBI warrants will be passed. Searches will be conducted. And the limits will be set clearly to all once again. But what all that grandiose babble pertained to is lost in the babble. In Iraq, the infrastructure we were recently so proud to be rebuilding is falling to ruins because the people either aren't trained to be running it properly, or are screwing things up on purpose. Why isn't it in the news? The FBI has recently served another web site with warrants of IP usage to track viewers and site owners. Seems some of our words are enough for the authorites to seek injunctions against us. Watch what you say. Speaking against scummy leaders and politicians may be in the realm of rights. Speaking about harming our country or government which works when good people are at it's helm will get you in trouble.
BlogShares. In a short time I gained enough imaginary wealth to buy imaginary ideas which are what blogs produce. The ideas can be bought and sold for a profit, or they can be converted into artifacts which can be used in a few different ways in the game. Currently I am using them to crash stock prices. This has not been met with the best of reactions from a few of the players. As a matter of fact it's been met with name calling and peer pressure to back off. Now I know I told you awhile back I'd own the market. But the way the current system is in place you can't ever hope to do that. Wealth is generated daily and left for the players to pick at until the next day. If all a days wealth hasn't been used it just gets carried over to the next day. So no one in their right logical mind can ever lose money unless they don't care or are trying to lose money. A game with a no loss situation. Where the richest of players are richest only because they've played the game longer. So I instead of accepting the game play as is have changed it to something the current players can't seem to fathom. Profit loss. You can read some of it in their forums which can be found on their web page which can be found in "the links to the left".
Nothing. Not a danged thing. That is what me and the family did this weekend. The kids played with other kids. A few slept over and watched movies, ate ribs we barbqued out back, had smores, and we had drinks, the adults that is. The wife had a back ache, maybe a pinched nerve. It sucked to be her but it got her a free back rub, and we found out rum works wonderfully on back aches. I slept very very late both Saturday and Sunday and did nothing. I think it's what we needed to do. But I do worry I don't take my kids to church. I don't tithe. That's the relgious part of me being very offended with my life. I do tell my children about God, but do so in a way that allows for the failings of others to be accepted as we accept our own failings. But I warn them about strangers. Probably not often enough. I warn them not to harm any strangers they come in contact with because the strangers would sue daddy. But kids never listen and strangers can read the signs posted around the house. I can't be everywhere at once now can I?
A thing I noticed when doing time. Yes for new readers I am an ex convict. To my old readers, yes I say it too often, like a pirate saying "Arrrrh!" too often just to remind everyone they are a pirate. I wish I had been a pirate. Not the hanged at the city gates kind, but a dashing rogue. Errol Flynn on acid. Not that I've ever taken acid. But I've noticed that baby rapers as we called em, child molesters, would do less time than many people on drug charges. Okay so a guy has drugs or sells drugs. Is that worse than a person who sexually molest children? But lets give those small eyes, mexican term for pedophiles, a break. Lets say the ones I saw were just fondlers. So it is worth less time to someone who the courts found guilty of fondling a child? Or the next wrung up. Actual sex. How wrong is it for a grown person to talk a child into sex? But at what age does that "it's just wrong" sense stop? Do we feel all emotional over a sixteen year old boy or girl who has consensual sex with an adult? But no folks, what I'm talking here is I did time with men who had sex with children under ten. They suffered no where near as much as the media suggest as they a re coddled and protected by the system and often used as snitches. They did less time than people I knew for small drug charges. The system is fucked. Rape is rape, consent is consent, children are children. How fucking hard can it be to unblur the lines? Brought on by the recent outbreak of child abductions that have led to the murders of children. Does the media create the scenario the molesters follow?
I can't promise I'll update every day. I'll try. Summer is coming and I've alot on my plate. Tasty stuff too. But I'll try and keep giving you games, and porn, and quotes, and babbling frothing at the mouth rhetoric. Which you will find to the left. And one day I hope to bring you world peace. Thanks to my sunny disposition and ability to connect with foreign dictators. So until then you go reaquant yourself with my web page.
The Picture
The Quote
"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me." "Fred A. Allen"
The Porn
Bachelorette Party Porn
Sacreligious Porn
The Games
Not Pron
Wavy Navy
The Joke
It seems that there were these 3 pregnant Indian Squaws, all due to give birth at about the same time. The first squaw gave birth to a boy, and the birthing was done on a deer hide. The 2nd also gave birth to a boy, but this was done on a bear hide. And, the third had twins, two boys, and she did this on a hippopotamus hide.
This means that the sons of the squaw on the hippopotamus hide is equal to the sons of the squaws on the other two hides.
The Things I've Written.
Brain Burps
The Comments
Todays additions to the Links to Left.
Pissed On Politics
4-13-05
The Commentary
Well I spoke too soon. China has gone and blocked a blogger named Mao. And since the guy is blocked it makes me want to see what it is he had to say even more. I'm sure Google has something in their cache but that's too much like work for me. But hey they are doing better than they were fifty years ago.
Seems someone is suggesting we spend tax payer dollars promoting Democracy in Iran. As if we haven't been doing that for fifty plus years. Can anyone remember a Shah of Iran? Can we not connect the Iran Contra hearings with Iran? Why is it all the news media seem bound and determined to ignore the past and only say what they are paid to say? Oh that's right. Paid. But let us bloggers remind folks that history shows us meddling in world affairs for a long time. It isn't anything new. And it's suprisingly about the most open thing this administration has done. Admit they are considering spending money to dick around in another countries doings.
And speaking of that media we all love to call right wing and liberal as if they were derogatory terms. Have you heard any good news lately? I mean how much of that televised news is nice? You get sports scores and the weather. You get financial and local. But how much of the news centers around bad things? A constant barrage of people being killed, kidnappings, rapes, wars, earthquakes, tsunamis, hurricanes, tornadoes, frogs, flies, and snakes. Is it happening more or is it just more reported? And do other countries feed their citizens a never ending barrage of bile like we do here in America? But like I think I've mumbled before, doom sells, happy ever after is for fairy tales.
Ever seen those poor old folks rotting away in nursing homes? The poor souls regressing until they have the minds of children and crap their pants. But knowing that old folks do that, well shouldn't we be pushing for old folk play time? Nursing homes that provided recreation and play times? Or we could ignore them and let them rot until it's our turn.
I wonder about them convicts. The run of the mill drug dealers who are doing time next to killers and rapist and bank robbers. What you would call real criminals as compared to enemies of a failing drug war. I wonder if they were all released from jail if they would get jobs and help boost our economy, or just create more people on unemployment. Or if maybe some politician has worked out a deal where our prisoners will take all those migrant jobs no American can afford to do.
Well now they've gone and done it. Someone at my local newspaper went and let slip some truth. I'm sure it was an accident. Either that or they just don't care anymore.
Seems our local government and court system is being paid for thanks to court imposed fines. Someone thought that it'd be a great idea if all the nasty criminals in court paid for the system through fines. And until they pay off the fines they are under probation and subject to go to jail at the courts whim. And loe and behold the citizens found it good.
But some of those nasty criminals just won't pay their fines. They have the audacity to continue being criminals despite the best efforts to make them not. I mean these people just refuse to accept that there are laws they must adhere to even if they don't agree with them. Laws like vagrancy issues. Some of those nasty vagrants just won't pay. And what is worse is they get right out of jail and go back to sleeping on the street. Have they no decency?
Of course being vagrants somewhat implys that they are poor. That they have no place to live. That possibly just maybe they'll continue to be poor even after they've paid fines and been released from jail. Who would have thunk it? The poor stay poor even after we let them out of jail. The homeless still have no homes after we jail them. The c rackheads still smoke crack. The hookers and johns keep up business as usual. The potheads smoke. The drunks drink. And the Earth still revolves on it's axis.
Long ago I mentioned that the failure to make people do what the judiciary wanted despite jail had caused the judiciary to start trying to finacially bankrupt those same people by heaping fines on top of those who wouldn't change. I suggested that fine structures were mounting and becoming very large numbers. Now we find out that those same fine structures are enough to fund the clerk of courts and the courts in my neighborhood. And while I am shocked that no one seems to see it, I am also secretly glad because they, the judiciary and law enforcement people, are leaving themselves very open to a fall.
If enough criminals catch on and start laying low my local government could be left with a heavy bill they haven't accounted for. It would be a shame to see a newspaper article decrying how we don't have enough criminals to keep all the clerks of the court we now have. Or we just cannot afford all the police we have because there are no longer enough criminals to fine to pay for them. Or the probation officers facing a lay off because the case loads have fallen due to many of the criminals moving out of town.
But it isn't going to happen. As soon as criminals wised up and actually stopped there would be a push for getting tough on some other form of crime and they would be fined and jailed to fill those numbers lost. So there is no fall anytime soon for those who use laws to fill the public coffers at the public's expense. The endless stream of public officials who hold jobs designed to create more jobs within an ever growing monstrousity we like to call the government.
My I went long winded there didn't I? I'll stop now. You go play.
The Picture
The Quote
"Alas! regardless of their doom, the little victims play! No sense have they of ills to come nor care beyond today." "Thomas Gray"
The Porn
Sesame Street Porn
Tree Porn
The Games
Ka Boom
Hangman
The Joke
One day while walking down the street a highly successful partner in a law firm was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.
"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had an law firm partner make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," said the woman.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."
"Actually, I think I've made up my mind...I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman.
"Sorry, we have rules..." And with that St. Peter put the law partner in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.
The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends -- fellow partners that she had worked with -- and they were all dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf, and at night they went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kinda cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved good-bye as she got on the elevator.
The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates, and she found St. Peter waiting for her. "Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had a great time and before she knew it, her 24 hours were up. St. Peter came and got her and said, "So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity."
The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."
So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell. When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her fellow law partners were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks. The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.
"I don't understand," stammered the woman. "Yesterday I was here, and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage, and all my friends look miserable."
The Devil looked at her and smiled. "Yesterday we were recruiting you; today you're an associate."
The Things I've Written.
Brain Burps
The Comments
Todays additions to the Links to Left.
Zulkey
4-12-05
The Commentary
Got a hit from China. It's a wonderous thing to me that a nation that but a few years ago was heavily censored and wouldn't have open access to the outside world has stepped forward in leaps and bounds economically. They are bit by bit opening up their sense of freedoms to the populice as well, but..... Ain't there always. The pay scale is incredibly low compared to that of American workers. This can in no way be good for America. So while I respect the Eastern way of patience and perseverance, I worry about our own destiny as a nation. Follow the path of many nations before ours that became cash strapped or needed a commodity which led to that nation attacking it's neighbors. We currently spend more on the military than any other nation in the world. Are we a global police force, or a global menace? And as with almost any question it would depend on who you asked and when. But I really do dig cheesy kung fu flicks. They all tell a story, many telling legendary tales of China's past. And they do incerdible things that no mortal ever could thanks to training and patience and perserverance and strength, ect, ect. Well it's my World Wrestling Federation. So even though my trailer is a bit different than alot of people around me, I still live in the big trailer park of life. It isn't just a place, it's a state of mind.
The Picture
The Quote
"I must say that acting was good training for the political life that lay ahead of us." "Nancy Reagan"
The Porn
Guerilla Fashion Porn
Subliminal Message Porn
The Games
Anti Terrorism Department
Levers
The Joke
Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
The Things I've Written.
War Room "pulled from archives"
The Comments
Todays additions to the Links to Left.
Angry Bear
4-11-05
The Commentary
Well I missed Friday's update. Everything below the picture was done but I had eye trouble. Seems something at work or somewhere blew into my eye. The doctor suspected it was a piece of metal because when they finally got it out it left a rust ring in the eye. You really just do not realize how dependant on eyes you are until you don't have them. So being unable to look at a monitor because the light caused both eyes to dialate even if the bad one was covered was the main cause of me not updating as I should have. I couldn't go outside. Caused some severe pain as the cornea tried to open and close around the scratched areas. But over time my regular readers have come to expect me missing a few updates here there and everywhere. So without further excuse or ado I bring you Friday's Monday update.
The Picture
The Quote
"O God, that men should put an enemy in their mouths to steal away their brains! That we should with joy, pleasance, revel, and applause transform ourselves into beasts!" "William Shakespeare"
The Porn
Spectator Porn
Turkey Porn
The Games
Nyrdl
River Raid
The Joke
A French teacher was explaining to her class that, in French, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine:" House" is feminine -"la maison." Pencil," is masculine -"le crayon."
A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?" Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups- male and female - and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun.
Each group was asked to give four reasons for their recommendation. The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computer"), because
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for possible latter review; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half of your salary on accessories for it.
The women's group, however, concluded that computer should be masculine ("le computer") because
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they themselves are problems; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
Did the men OR women win?
The Things I've Written.
Bout Time "pulled from archives"
The Comments
Todays additions to the Links to Left.
Spacecoastweb: blog
4-7-05
The Commentary
Well I was out and about digging up this and that for the site and finished up but needed something to comment on. I really didn't think you wanted to hear about a boring job or what I had for lunch so I went off looking for current events. I got no farther than Atrios when I forgot about current events and saw something I had mentioned before. If a blogger becomes great, noticed, a big fish in a big barrel, well they'll make enough money to run the blog without having to ask for cash. They won't need a tip jar. They won't go asking for money. Though that one girl that came right out and asked for money got like sixty grand or so, but that isn't the point. Good blogs or web sites generate enough hits to make them a good avenue for advertisers. The revenues for upkeep and maintenance of equipment has to come first but a really good, or lucky as the case may be, blogger shouldn't have to be hounding readers for cash and do countless fund rasiers. Sure they might be a kick ass writer. But alot of us blog and work or go to school or any of a number of things that we have to do to survive outside of blogging. If they are any good they will be able to rough it like everybody else until they rise to the top of the heap. Or not.
The Picture
The Quote
"Do not let circumstances control you. You change your circumstances." "Jackie Chan"
The Porn
Drunken Monkey Style Kung Fu Porn
Elephant Porn
The Games
Kobe Bryant Game
Pearl Diver
The Joke
Q: What did a Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
A: Make me one with everything.
The Things I've Written.
Will Code For Food
The Comments
Todays additions to the Links to Left.
WeirdSpot
4-6-05
The Commentary
As my regular readers of which I have a growing number may know, I often miss updates and then at a later date cram a bunch in and act like they happened as scheduled. It's only fair as a free broker of whatever it is I'm broking. I can do as I please. But I do try and offer new things to look at that you may not have noticed had you not visited. My rhetoric grows old over time sounding more and more like the disgruntled coot that lived down the lane. So I silence my droinings of the failings I see. You've seen them yourself and can decide for yourself what you think the best action would be. Doesn't mean those in charge would listen to you any more than me but hey, It's good we can ponder. Free to ponder. But some folks like to get drunk and do drugs while they ponder. I wonder how many Americans we currently have jailed for drinking or drug charges. Combine that with vagrancy or related charges. Then calculate into that those in jail for back child support. I wonder how many wards of the state we currently have. How many second class citizens we have created. How many enemies of the state we create with every bullshit arrest. I wonder. And often while I do that I wander. I wake up from wandering and wondering in the most beautiful places. But then I grew up. Then I became a father. And I had need to do a different thing so as to give free choice to my young ones. And for all the failings I credit at Bush's feet, my children still have some semblance of free choice and are only held back by their ability and dedication. But being their father's children I see them pissing it all away for the simple things in life. Sa Ra, tata. But what about that Pope? I mean do we suspect the next Pope could be a foul player in the world at large? Could he hearld in the next crusades? Is he the wolf in sheeps clothing? Should we just stamp him out before he gets there? And what of baby Jane? Tune in everywhere for the answer s to these questions and a whole lot more. Because the more you pay attention the more questions you ask and you get more answers which leads to more questions and then you quietly go insane and drinking seems your least of worries.
The Picture
The Quote
Over grown military establishments are under any form of government inauspicious to liberty, and are to be regarded as particularly hostile to republican liberty." "George Washington"
The Porn
Vehicular Porn
Deer Orgy Porn
The Games
Kitten Cannon
Lazer Envy
The Joke
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which read:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men.
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?"
"I was wondering", whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"
"Yes", she purrs, "indeed I am."
The man replies "Well then, wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich!"
The Things I've Written.
Will Code For Food
The Comments
Todays additions to the Links to Left.
Joke Monkey
4-5-05
The Commentary
Well as usual I find myself behind the times. But my motto has always been if you linger long enough behind the times you become fashionable once again. So if an old hippy with love handles becomes the new hottness I am well prepared. But I'm not counting on it to pay the bills. I can dream but know I have to base my thinking in fact. That is why I'm counting on my lucrative new dot com stocks to flower and bail me out of poverty. Them combined with Bush's Social Security Personal Stock Accounts should make me very very very rich. I mean all the lucratively rich stock holders are for it, so it must be good for all of us. Which brings to mind all those times I've bashed Bush. I really should be ashamed of bashing the only president we've ever had who fought as hard for freedom and Democracy. I do wish he'd do it in our country, but by all that is holy at least he is fighting for something. We really need presidents who fight for something and have spirit. I know he may be fighting for the wrong things and his spirit may be suspect, but by all that is holy he does fight. And truth is overated. I often find myself not telling the truth in my day to day life. "That dress fits great". "You're a great boss". "I'm sorry I was speeding officer". But I'm a little person in the grand scheme of things. Why would I expect anything less than more and grander lies from Bush considering how much important he is than the rest of us. And those deaths really do perk the economy up by way of making room for new workers in the jobs they leave unfilled. I mean leaving a job without a worker because you go off and die really shows no sense of work ethic. A person like that doesn't really deserve the job anyays. And the familys of those folks deserve poverty as well. They should have chosen better mates. Their children should have held out and gotten better parents. But I see these folks care even about those left behind. They push for school help programs that cut waste and graft. What exactly is wrong with the old school books? History hasn't changed. Who the heck do they think they are fooling when they tell us they need more money for books and computers. They're just trying to trick us into raising taxes again for the liberals and Democrats. Thanks to Bush and his people we can now feel like we are the strongest and greatest country that ever was. We walked into Iraq virtually untouched, mind you for humanitarian reasons of course, but we still kicked ass. And now look at them. They are a cowed people who will soon embrace Democracy in any form, just like Americans. Soon they will see that Democracy brings about the best leaders money can buy and the rest of the world will see and tremble. And they've gone and brought God back into the White House. Sure some of their actions may go against things Jesus taught us, but hey the Bible is filled with contradictions. Real leaders have known what to pick and chose as the times demand. And just like that Fascism come back into vogue. The mutilated soldiers and the dead being brought back from Iraq being the failures they are should not get any airplay. They are failures. We don't need to see failure. We need to see the shining examples of all the good we are doing. Greatful Iraqis lining up for food. Happy subjects paying homage to our greatness. Purple fingers waving towards the sky as a Kurdish president steps forward. Why is it the commie bastards in this country can't just shutup about all the negative and start looking at the positive? They must just be Schleprocks in the grand game of life. Doomsayers and downers one and all. Chicken Littles running to and fro telling everyone the sky is falling. And it's falling, so what? Will it make anyone any happier to know that shit is going to hit the fan real soon? Will it do any good to place blame where it belongs? Shouldn't we instead work towards a brighter future? Bush has brought us soo much. Heck even the bloggers who slander his wonderous name couldn't be blogging if it weren't for Bush and friends. Bush and Friends. It'll be a Saturday morning cartoon before long. And they'll kick the Super Friends ass.
The Picture
The Quote
I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves." "Bruce Grocott"
The Porn
Dental Porn
Vatsyayana Porn
The Games
Beach Bobbing Bob
The Dead Case
The Joke
A man is driving his five year old to a friend’s house when another car races in front and cuts them off, nearly causing an accident. "Douchebag!" the father yells. A moment later he realizes the indiscretion, pulls over, and turns to face his son. "Your father just said a bad word," he says. "I was angry at that driver, but that was no excuse for what I said. It was wrong. But just because I said it, it doesn’t make it right, and I don’t ever want to hear you saying it. Is that clear?" His son looks at him and says: "Too late, douchebag."
The Things I've Written.
Will Code For Food
The Comments
Todays additions to the Links to Left.
Eros Blog
4-4-05
The Commentary
Well I was going to go off and tell you about blatant hypocrasy in politics, again. But I figuired why bother. Either you already know it or don't. If you do telling you again accomplishes nothing other than beating the same old dead smelly horse. If you don't know you are ignorant. There really isn't any other way to look at it. And as we all know ignorance is bliss, so who am I to jerk you out of your blissfull ignorance? But it really did strike me funny that what set me off was some guy working for Jeb Bush that was touted as a Christian who pushed for the whole Schiavo mess. And was the same person who pushed for a law making it easier to kill someone who you felt was threatening your life. So in Florida now we can kill people we feel might be dangerous to us and the law has been set up to make it easier for us to get off any charges. If I was either of the Bush brothers I'd think twice before doing many more Florida tours. There's a whole lotta people in Florida who feel these guys threaten our very way of life, and the lives of our neighbors and friends in the armed forces.
The Picture
The Quote
Obscenity is a moral concept in the verbal arsenal of the establishment, which abuses the term by applying it, not to expressions of its own morality but to those of another." "Herbert Marcuse"
The Porn
Panda Porn
Geek Porn
The Games
Sabotage
Traffic Control
The Joke
A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water."
"But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"
A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said,
"Wedding cake."
The Things I've Written.
Will Code For Food
The Comments
Todays additions to the Links to Left.
Mental Shed
4-1-05
The Commentary
It's been quiet. The media having done their best to keep all eyes turned towards the Schiavo trials. The Jackson trials. Soon Saddam's trial. Robert Blake's trial. Scott Peterson's trial. The OJ trial hashed and rehashed. And the numerous court shows and cop shows on television. A nation watching trials. Very little mentioned about Bush's record of conduct thus far. Little mentioned about appoinments for key positions in government. Hardly a word from Iraq or Syria, or Afghanistan. As a matter of fact we seldom hear about the goings on in other country other than in passing unless something terrible is happening. We're reported to nightly with the words of children who see their parents dead. Parents who have lost a child to some molesting killer. Poisoned food. Poisoned air. Bad! Bad! Bad! We hear bad news and read it daily because that is the kind of news that sells. We all nod when something pleasant is mentioned but look forward to being told how crappy things really are because that is what we expect. We expect it to be falling apart and on the brink of destruction. It's what we've been fed by the media and what we expect. So everything else is but gloss. Real news and the daily thefts within government aren't. Unless someone gets caught cold and we get to watch another trial. Because if there is anything we love more than being fed bad news it's watching someone who made it being reamed. Makes us little folks feel a wee bit better. One down. A whole shit load more to go.
The Picture
The Quote
"Have you NO SHAME?" "David Scott Anderson"
The Porn
White Supremacist Porn
Trial Slut Porn
The Games
Drums
Kookin Kids
The Joke
One night, a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving under the influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then, sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. Everyone left the bar and drove off. Finally, he started his engine and began to pull away.
The police officer was waiting for him. He stopped the driver, read him his rights and administered the Breathalyzer test. The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be. The driver replied, "Tonight, I'm the Designated Decoy."
The Things I've Written.
Will Code For Food
The Comments
Todays additions to the Links to Left.
The Blog From Another Dimension
"I don't wanna work. Just wanna bang on the drum all day."
Gotta problem with that?
Drunken Monkey Style Blogging
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