Death
Well Like you and others I secretly am scared shitless.
What waits beyond is anyones guess, but I am quite sure I have pissed off the supreme many times. Its also my hope that the supreme will see, I have always strove to become a better person, and live a kinder life.
My old dog is dying now as I write this. I'm both sad to watch an old friend suffer, and angry a higher power couldn't make things easier for an old and faitful friend. While I know myself will suffer for my sins, it seems my old animal is fairly guilless, and fairly free of most sins.
I often wonder how and why a supreme being who loved all his creations could stand by and watch the suffering. How anyone could believe a higer power that cherished it's creations could tolerate the shit thats going on today. And my dog screams in pain.
Why are we, people, allowed to suffer at the hands of others? For what purpose to we live and die? God help me but times I question faith, and also bow to the knowledge everyone, every living person on Earth needs faith. Faith in something. It is what keeps us going when theres no food, water, hope.
I now hold my old dog. I am closer to that dog because it is truthfull. It isn't human, and over time we are all taught to trust no human. In death I see my actions of past. My failures heaped up and magnified. None of my accomplishments. Failure. It's what marks my feelings of self. Yet how long ago would it have been enough to be able to feed your family, and put a roof over their heads? It's the now we feel like failures. The advertisments leading us farther and farther away from what we were. But what were we?
We, humans. We are the potters clay. We are all shaped into our form, and later after we have been formed we are filled. It is what we are filled with that effects us. Be it evil, or good in simplistic terms defines what sort of clay vessel you are.
But here we are more than a mere vessel. Here we can empty ourselves at our own choosing, and refill ourselves with things good. We are clay pots with a choice. What shall we then choose to be filled with, and what is it we humans need pour out?
We are crows. All of us. We are all attracted to shiny things. We covet those things. We work because we "think" we need those things. All we need is food, and a place to sleep. Still there are those who would deprive us even of that.
Evil people. Bullies in the school yard allowed to have their way. Because our parent is away. What are we gonna do and say when that parent returns? Does a parent ever really banish their children for doing what they weren't supposed to? Which would imply the divine loves us all. Then how can it/he/she allow the suffering to go on?
Iv'e already said it enough it's no suprise I belive in Jesus, and God, but how can they/he/it/ allow this to continue? Miracles? Seen one. I'm yet to do something great on this Earth and I don't know what it is. If you have any idea please tell me. I'm clueless. And admitting your clueless is the first step to knowledge.
Get Bent.
