December 2005.
Or, what the hell are these buffoons talking about this time?
We've heard a bit about the war on Christmas. How it is an attack on religion. How it is a direct assualt on everything Christmas represents and has always represented. Which denys the facts that Christmas is a holiday that isn't dated correctly if it is indeed celebrating the birth of Jesus. Has traditions from many other religions and faiths. Is based on changing morals and concepts. And that at one time it was the religious fundamentalist who got Christmas banned as both a pagan holiday and a reminder of English influence. So what some are terming a war on Christmas, like what is happening is a new thing, is really just part of an ongoing conflict that hasn't stopped despite hundreds of years passing.
I hear about some kook seeking to get a creche banned I think to myself they should just get a life. But I also understand their belief that public money should not be used to celebrate any religion over another. So in the war of relion over a society that treats all equally I must side with those who demand no public money be spent on any religion over another. But while these fools fight it out over this and that, each seeking to impose what they see as right on the other, both sides ignore who has actually won the war of which they speak. The corporation. The company. Big Biddnez. While we all fight over morals and tradition and church and state and German logs and English cakes and humble reflection and wanton abandon we all ignore what was a noble tradition to scare away evil spirits and welcome in a New Year and thank our Gods for the gifts we recieved. So while we fight the company has laid claim to our holiday and turned it into a commercial event. "Think of the Children" they cry with their hands out for our hard earned dollars. Televising envy and coventing into our childrens little minds and guilt into the adults. We later hear economist proclaiming how Christmas once again saved the day with the masive sales of crap no one might have bought had it not been the holiday of going out and buying stuff. Gone the days of feast and fires and in the day of giving money to misers. Out the days of praising the Lord and in the days of bonuses to the members of the board. Alas the war has been lost.
But it hasn't really. Because if one follows the history of the celebrations we have all followed through the ages you will find it is cyclic in nature. One element or another rises to the top of the heap for a time until changes in public thought bring another rising to the top for a time. None ever winning the battle completely and the others never truly beaten. So all we hear and all we see is but the ripples of other actions repeated through the ages to confound the senses of all sane men.
So next time you catch a talking head spouting off about the war on Christmas maybe think to yourself that Christ wasn't born December 25th. Maybe remind yourself that the Christmas tree is part of a Norse tradition. That Saturnalia was a week long celebration thats debauchery made even the Romans worry. Think for yourself for a change and wonder if the real war hasn't been on the people all along and how they chose to unwind and who gets to tell them what they can and can not do. I for one am not at war with Christmas. But I'm also not backing those religious freaks who are demanding a creche on every corner and sin made illegal and punishable in the courts of law. Because that is what the war is about. The religious groups demanding the celebration be centered around their version and deity. The economic groups who see celebrations as a fine time to further fleece the populice. And the groups who see worship of any deity to be a waste of time and public money. Each demanding their own way on the issue and demanding everyone else abide by that. Its a war between the bossy people and the rest of us.
Always a day late and a dollar short I suggest you click this link for the latest horscope.
There was a church that had a very big-busted organist. Her breasts were so huge that they bounced and jiggled while she played. Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably.
The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist.
One of the ladies approached her very discreetly and told her to mash up some green persimmons, (if you eat them they make you pucker, because they are so sour) and rub them on your breasts and maybe they would shrink in size. She agreed to try it.
The following Sunday morning the minister got up on the pulpit and said: "Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol we will not hath a thermon tewday."
The same people who believe it matters about the elections in Iraq are the same people who don't believe Bush stole two elections, so they can't fathom that the Iraqi elections were just as rigged as our own. The same people who feel we must stay the course and complete the mission are the same people who believe the mission was bringing Democracy to Iraq from the get go instead of getting rid of the WMD's. The speeches and addresses are all just fluff to go along with the lies. The lies many bloggers have been pointing out all this time are now labeled as propaganda by the White House because propaganda is a much nicer word than lies. Because the truth isn't near as pretty or patriotic as the propaganda being pushed out for media inspection. And now that the White House is caught openly paying for news that backs their version of things we are told that questioning the propaganda is bad for America. Because what is bad for America is pointing out lies, bad intelligence, foolish military moves, silly expectations of flowers tossed at our victorious feet. What is good for America is keeping our mouths shut even though everything they are doing is wrong.
But this is all old news. We all knew the lies were lies long ago and said as much. We knew we were being fed piles of crap and didn't like the taste of it. We knew elections had been stolen and rules broken and that a coup had taken place with no shots fired. We said the news coming out of Iraq was rigged. Turns out it was. We said there were no WMD's. Turns out there weren't. We stated that the administration had already planned for a war in Iraq and pushed for it even against mounting evidence that their intelligence was wrong. And it was so. Again and again and again truth was revealed as lies and still there were those who believed. There were those who knew but kept silent because they believed we must win at any cost. Kept silent because winning was more important than simple concepts like truth and freedom and fair elections. For them it didn't matter if we lost everything this country stood for as long as they could claim victory.
But with no clear cut enemy that can raise a white flag of surrender what counts as victory? Once upon a time victory was unseating Saddam. He is unseated yet still we fight. Later we were told victory would be free elections. There have been two, yet still we are there, still we fight, still people die. We were told victory would be a new Iraqi police force capable of defending themselves. But once created we found many wouldn't fight the insurgents because they had some silly problem with killing their neighbors. Seems the dreaded forces slipping across the border turned out to be more often than not native Iraqis who felt they were defending their country from invaders. But the propaganda machine was in full swing and anyone who was everyone was reporting about those dreaded Syrians or Iranians or Saudis slipping across the border. And it turned out those were lies. Lie after lie after lie repeated again and again long after they had been proven as lies for all the world to see. And the patriotic thing to do is to keep our mouths shut even though the lies are obvious and the choices these people are making hurt America.
And me? I really don't care that much anymore. My country has been taken over without a fight. I am quite sure two elections were stolen and feel more will surely follow. I know for a fact that our leaders have lied to us in the past and will most assuredly lie to us again in the future. We've already lost all there was to lose and the only comfort one can find is to believe the messages being fed to us and live in an illusion. Truth isn't something the masses are ready for. Truth isn't something that will set you free or make you happy. Truth is just that truth. And all too often the truth of things causes discomfort to all those who hear it. So instead of searching for truth in this world I should be happy I have a government that cares enough for me as to create lies for my mental well being. Some call it propaganda, me, I call it happy truths. Everything is fine and dandy in this great country of ours. We don't torture people. We don't topple governments because they aren't playing nice with big biddness. We stand for truth and justice and freedom. And all those folks who keep harping on and on and on about lies and deciet and this that and the other really just want us to lose. Or so I'm told. And who am I to question what I've been told.
But if a drunk monkey can see through the lies on occasion I have to believe they are failing at the propaganda game just like they've seemed to fail at everything else. And perhaps thats the real reason they want us to keep our mouths shut. Not because of national security but because of their own security. They don't want folks pointing out the mistakes as they pile up on the steps of the White House. They want us to go about our business and ignore theirs. And to make sure everyone does they've framed the argument that questioning or pointing out the mounting failures is harmful to national security and unpatriotic to boot. Seems like they've used this trick more than once, a day, for a very long time now. Maybe it's time people recognize this administration is the greatest threat to our national security. Terrorist 3000, the Bush Administration, from their own words, at least 32000. He's not my president. I wouldn't trust he or his staff to feed my dog let alone run the country. And for all you folks who disagree, fuck ya. You elected the asshole. If you don't like the mistakes seeing the light of day maybe next time vote for folks who are less inclined to fuck up at every turn. If you really cared about national security you would have cared about the Diebold voting machines and the laws broken by the Patriot Act. But many of you, like them, the Bush administration, cared more about winning an election than doing what was right for our country. So quit sniveling when we point out the mistakes. I know it's not a blowjob but we gotta go with what we have.
Always a day late and a dollar short I suggest you click this link for the latest horscope.
A nun was going to Chicago. She went to the airport and sat down, waiting for her flight. She looked over in the corner and saw one of those weight machines that tells your fortune. So, she thought to herself, "I'll give it a try just to see what it tells me."
She went over to the machine and put her nickel in and out came a card that said, "You're a nun. You weigh 128 lbs., and you are going to Chicago, Illinois."
She sat back down and thought about it. She told herself it probably tells everyone the same thing, but decided to try it again. She put her nickel in, and out came a card that read, "You're a nun. You weigh 128 lbs. You're going to Chicago, Illinois, and you are going to play a fiddle."
The nun said to herself, "I know that's wrong. I have never played a musical instrument a day in my life." She sat back down. From out of nowhere, a cowboy came over and set his fiddle case down next to her. The nun picked up the fiddle and started playing beautiful music.
Startled, she look back at the machine and said, "This is incredible! I've got to try it again!
Back to the machine she went, put her nickel in, and another card came out. It said, "You're a nun, you weigh 128 lbs., you're going to Chicago, Illinois, and you're going to break wind."
Now, the nun knew the machine was wrong. "I've never broken wind in public in my whole life!" Just then, she tripped, fell off the scales and broke wind.
Stunned, she sat back down and looked at the machine. She said to herself, "This is truly unbelievable! I've got to try it one more time."
She went back to the machine, put her nickel in and collected the card. It said, "You're a nun, you weigh 128 lbs., you have fiddled and farted around and missed your flight to Chicago!!!"
A passenger was killed recently because someone somewhere claims they heard him say bomb. Feel safer flying yet? If those dreaded terrorist don't get you the good guys just might. That is all.
The White House has unveiled their plan for victory in Iraq. Most of it involved placating the growing unrest here in America. Seems alot of us don't want us there any more than the Iraqis do. That is all.
Rumsfeld is the majority stockholder in the company that makes a vaccine people are pushing the government to start stockpiling. Imagine that. Lucky coincidences and all. Drum up a little fear, sell the product to the fearing masses, convince them they need it stockpiled even though it has a shelf life, sell them more when the shelflife expires. Damn lucky break there. That is all.
My updates have fallen to a weekly level. Once again I'm in good company keeping up with the likes of Ebaums and Ehowa, Milk and Cookies and Rotten, all of which update when they damn well want to. As such I should actually write something, something Earth shattering, or great importance to all. But I decided against revealing the secrets of self chilling beer until another day. So instead you'll have to deal with some thought I had half muddled over before sitting down. Get over it. That is all.
The future. The past. One of my favorite authors dealt with futuristic things long before they became known. Sometimes he was right on the money and sometimes he was so far off the mark as to be insane. I can respect that. Edgar Rice Burroughs. I loved the trashy works he poured out for a greedy world bored with the mundane and seeking escape in the written word. Because thats what we do. Get bored and seek entertainment in escapes. In his day the escape was the written word. Not long after motin pictures evolved from their infancy and filled the void. Fewer people read since they could get an easier fix at the talkies. And before the talkies quite a few got their fix from the radio. Later we had animation. Steam Boat Willie and the whole gang. Later the animations had sound, and still later color. And time passes and new things become old and we had the early video games. Atari. My how times have changed yes? Now we have the 2's and 3's of game consoles. Now we have even more powerful engines to drive the games and better platforms with which to play them. I got to thinking how far we came from the written word where the only involvement we had was imaginary to today where our outlets have become interactive. The cartoons my children grow up with are interactive. Not like the Bugs Bunny of my day where we were left to giggle at the silly instead of supply the silly ourselves. But here in the now in my children's day they have interactive play. It got me to wondering what the next step would be. How much farther can you push it beyond interactive? How much more realistic can we get before it's, well, real. And since I don't have the answers I leave you with those thoughts to mull over all on your own. That is all.
Always a day late and a dollar short I suggest you click this link for the latest horscope.
It was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.
The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Some flowers." "That's right" the boy said, "but how did you know?" "Oh, just a wild guess," she said.
The next pupil was the sweet shop owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets." "That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl. "Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher.
The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and touched it to her tongue. "Is it wine?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with some excitement. The teacher repeated the process, taking a larger drop of the leakage to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with more excitement. The teacher took one more taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?" With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!"
Egypt. The country that gets cash every year thanks to a treaty they signed with Israel years ago. The guy responsible for getting the treaty signed on the Egyptian side was assasinated. Imagine that. Well the country votes. They have votes. They can vote on stuff and representatives and all that stuff we promote as Democracy and something to strive for. Well recently they had a vote. Seems that they lost or gave or someone won around 25 seats. The people or group who won? A group considered outlawed. Worse yet? Seems the polling stations were kept closed for people wanting to vote for the outlaw ticket and opened in time for the old guards people to vote. The people are speaking and they want a religious government that doesn't like America. Imagine that.
The article that got me to thinking about this was buried in the World Beat section. Small print, small article because after all this doesn't look good for anyone. No one really wants to discuss this. It goes against the administrations message that we are winning hearts and minds because instead we are losing hearts and minds in one of our staunchest allies in the Middle East. But it doesn't look good for my peacenik buds either. Why? Because it shows that indeed the majority of people in the Middle East do not like us, our country, or our way of life. They want us out, all of us. And they to some degree agree with suicide bombers and killing infidels. Thats us. Infidels. And Egypt, one of our buds, has blocked the legitimate voting of it's people, and still lost 25 seats to a party that is considered outlawed. The people have spoken. And what they are saying bodes no good for anyone in America. So all the winning hearts and minds crap our administration is spouting is bullshit. We are instead alienating even more of our allies with each passing day. And the peace message of "we'll all just get along once we are out of Iraq" is crap as well. There are growing numbers that hate all things American, and that includes you fellow bloggers and many of my readers too. So maybe it's time to call the holy war a holy war and draw sides. When Egypt starts voting for religious hardliners and the government we have supported for years feels a need to outlaw the groups and block the voting process and still loses 25 seats you know shit is hitting the fan. And the whole topic is a very messy one for everyone involved. As I said it doesn't play well for the image the administration wants everyone to see. And it doesn't play well for the peace crowd because it shows growing numbers of people in the Midle East, countries in the Middle East that are considered our allies, voting for folks who's major message is kill Americans, go the heaven. Ain't that a kick in the groin?
Now like I said I ain't even going to dig out the AP article for you. You want to dig it up and see exactly what it is that I'm babbling about you go ahead. Me? Instead I'm gonna go back to drinking, playing games, and looking at an ever increasing mound of porn. Why? Well it seems a lot better than worrying about this crap day in and day out. After awhile you just start to feel the world is going to Hell in a handbasket, going to crap, turning sour, losing it's luster, whateva. And maybe just maybe just maybe just maybe we all need a break. Then along comes Kerry. Dammit! Just seeing Kerry pisses me off. He wasn't a good choice then, he isn't a good choice now. It's like having the guy in pink spandex animal prints and two toned green hair as a character witness. Sure he'll try and say nice things, but do you really even want to be associated with him?
Always a day late and a dollar short I suggest you click this link for the latest horscope.
The American tourist stood staring at the highland sentry standing guard outside Edinburgh Castle.
After a few minutes she went up to the sentry and asked 'I've always wanted to find out what's worn under the kilt'.
The sentry replied: 'There is nothing worn, Ma'am, its all in perfect working order'.
Gotta problem with that?
