September 2004.
Light update today. Really tired and have to probably work all weekend so no rest in sight for awhile. Will try and get up a decent Friday update. So until then enjoy the fine reading you'll find to the left.|
"Never write an advertisement which you wouldn't want your own family to read. You wouldn't tell lies to your own wife. Don't tell them to mine. Do as you would be done by. If you tell lies about a product, you will be found out -- either by the Government, which will prosecute you, or by the consumer, who will punish you by not buying your product a second time. Good products can be sold by honest advertising. If you don't think the product is good, you have no business to be advertising it."
"David Ogilvy."|
501 Dart Challenge Game Link
Zoo Keeper Game Link|
Q: How do you know if a lawyer is well hung?
A: You can''t fit your finger between the rope and his neck.
Did you hear about the two Indian lawyers who formed a partnership, Cachem and Sioux?
Did you hear about the new sushi bar that caters exclusively to lawyers?
It''s called Sosumi.
Talk is Cheap
Disjointed Text
When It's Bad
Scribbles
Todays additions to the Links to Left.
None Today
As I become more moderate. Hatred leaving me bit by bit until next it raises it's vile head. I see a need to reach out to the other side. Not to make concessions about what we may believe, but to make contacts so they remember and do not forget that we are fellow humans. That perhaps we all strive in our own way to a better world and it is in understanding that we shall find peace. So perhaps we should all reach out soon to those we may consider the opposition and let em know we feel for them, for the losses of all of us. That we feel for the crying children no matter what race or religion they may be. And that we are all someones child. And if that doesn't work you can always go back to calling each other names.|
"The question is not whether we will be extremists, but what kind of extremists we will be."
"Martin Luther King Jr."|
Hulk Smash Up Game Link
Ilucha Caliente Game Link|
A Texan bought a round of drinks for all in the bar and said that his wife had just produced "a typical Texas baby" weighing twenty pounds.
"Wow! Twenty pounds!" exclaimed many at the bar as they congratulated the proud father.
Two weeks later he returned to the bar. The bartender recognized him and asked, "Aren't you the father of the typical Texas baby that weighed twenty pounds at birth? How much does he weigh now?"
The proud father answered, "10 pounds." The bartender said, "Why, what happened? Didn't he weigh twenty pounds?"
The proud Texas father said, "Yup...just had him circumcised!"
Talk is Cheap
Disjointed Text
When It's Bad
Scribbles
Todays additions to the Links to Left.
My War The Third Rail
Having survived another Monday I can safely move into the week. Can't I? I haven't tuned in to any televised newscast in days. I haven't kept up with who's doing the most deviant, underhanded thing this week on the campaign trail. Some of you would think shame on me. But I think shame on you. The more you pay attention to the whackos and freaks the more they act up. Ignore the bastards and maybe they'll go away.|
"An election cannot give a country a firm sense of direction if it has two or more national parties which merely have different names, but are as alike in their principals and aims as two peas in the same pod."
"Franklin D. Roosevelt"|
Mind Reader Game Link
ToteSport Game Link|
One day while doing door-to-door market research, this guy knocks on a door and is greeted by a beautiful young housewife.
"Hello," he starts, "I’m doing some research for a petroleum jelly manufacturer. Have you ever used the product?"
"Yes. My husband and I use it during sex," she answers.
The researcher is taken aback. "Um, er, I admire you for your honesty," he continues. "Can you tell me exactly how you use it?"
"Sure, we put it on the doorknob so the kids can’t get in."
Disjointed Text
When It's Bad
Scribbles
Todays additions to the Links to Left.
TaxProf Blog Vast Left Wing Conspiracy
I actually made it through my blog roll. Just reading blogs it took me quite a bit of time. I'm not saying how long exactly because no one needs to know how much time I waste in life. But there was a hurricane overhead so I was stuck inside all weekend anyways. I'll soon be forced to go looking for more games to update with. Oh darn the luck. As well as off finding new pictures that strike my funny bone. It's one of the more fun things I get to do for this page. Go play games and check out alot of pictures. While I was out and about reading, I tried and comment a few times here and there. Some of my old haunts are now registration only. Me not being a register kind of guy I still read their stuff but seldom comment on it. One site I used to like alot was "In Search of Utopia". I still like it but he went with registration so we have ran into an impassable hurdle. His registration and my chronic aversion to them. I also found I'm going more and more moderate or centrist or whatever it is when you think both political parties suck badly and America needs better. Well that's what I'm becoming. I used to feel like that before I got carried away in the tide of US against Them that's going on in the blogoverse right now. I'm ashamed of myself for getting carried along with the flow. From either side. I truly think few if any politicians are worth a shit to anybody but themselves. But some of you are going to get the wrong impression about how I feel by the fact I host so many pictures and editorials dealing with what schmucks Bush and his group are. It's really very easy to understand. He's president. Should Kerry become president theres a good chance I'll be all over his failures and hosting pictures of him looking bad before he's inaugurated. Because I'm not a Republican or a Democrat. I am an American. And the fight I'm fighting is Americans against bad government. Maybe start using those critical eyes to start picking apart your own party as well and see if maybe just maybe Americans deserve more from their leaders. Maybe we deserve actual people who represent America to have a chance to be elected as president instead of the corporate whores we've been dished out. Of course some of you prefer whores and I'll not be able to change your minds. But theres still people out there you haven't perverted to your Us against Them mentallity. It's those folks I'm going to reach. And pity government if all the Us's and Them's out there in the blogoverse start working together and fact checking all politicians. Shame we're wasting it instead on which of two losers we get stuck with in November.|
"I am angry that so many of the sons of the powerful and well-placed managed to wangle slots in Reserve and National Guard units. Of the many tragedies of Vietnam, this raw class discrimination strikes me as the most damaging to the ideal that all Americans are created equal and owe equal allegiance to their country."
"Colin L. Powell"|
Crabs Game Link
Drone Sweeper Game Link|
A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and said, "You know, I've lost my wife somewhere in this huge supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why?" she asks. "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife suddenly appears out of nowhere and I'm tired of looking for her!
When It's Bad
Scribbles
Drunk N Babbling
Angry
Lest We Forget
New Hostage
Todays additions to the Links to Left.
Anybody for President Astonished Head The Happy Tutor Two Retards
I'm not going to give a long winded sermon about politicians today. Instead it's Friday and I think all of you should go play some games. Look at some porn. And generally relax just a little bit. But I would like it if some of you would visit this "site" and check out the comic book the guy is working on. It's really kind of entertaining. Maybe it's preaching at the choir for alot of us but I like the way it is laid out. I found it care of "The Muck of Political Ugliness", but you'll be able to find it later by hitting "the links to the left" and looking for "Ugly Politics". And when you find yourself bored this weekend with nothing much to do. Well know "the links to the left" will be waiting to entertain you. Yo Harry! Sorry the list has gotten so big. But you can always spider my web site to avoid all images by visiting this Search Engine Spider Simulator. Have a good weekend people, I'm outta here. Ahhh, what the heck. Here, check this out too. Viscious Pit. Danged if I know where I found it. Enjoy.|
"Blessed are the young for they shall inherit the national debt."
"Herbert Clark Hoover"|
Guy Porn
Girl Porn
Fly Girl Game Link
Grave Robber Game Link|
A recent Scottish immigrant attends his first baseball game in his new country and after a base hit he hears the fans roaring "Run....run!"
The next batter connects heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stands up and roars with the crowd in his thick accent: "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-run will ya!"
A third batter slams a hit and again the Scotsman, obviously pleased with his knowledge of the game, screams: "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run will ya!"
The next batter held his swing at three and two and as the ump calls a walk. The Scotsman stands up yelling: "R-r-run ya Bahstard, r-r-run!" All the surrounding fans chuckle quietly and he sits down confused. A friendly fan, sensing his embarrassment whispers, "He doesn't have to run, he got four balls."
"Walk with pr-r-ride man!"
Scribbles
Drunk N Babbling
Angry
Lest We Forget
New Hostage
Todays additions to the Links to Left.
Joel's Home Page Search Engine Spider Simulator Singlenesia The Fulcrum What Are You Voting For
Having gone off the deep end of the pool I wish to publicly endorse Nader for the election. Not because of what it can do this election, but because of what it could do in 2008. Having come to the conclusion that both cnadidates are bought and paid for by the same masters, I wish to cast my voice towards a new party that may or not already be bought out by special interest and corporations detrimental to the good of America itself.|
"In a few generations more, there will probably be no room at all allowed for animals on the earth: no need of them, no toleration of them. An immense agony will have then ceased, but with it there will also have passed away the last smile of the world's youth."
"Ouida"|
Battle Ship Game Link
Target Shooter Game Link|
A 95-year-old man enters a bar and approaches the sleaziest woman there." Have you ever tried having sex with an old man?" "No, I haven't," she admits, and the two head home, where the woman has the best sex ever. Afterward, the old man turns to her and says, "If you think that was good, let me sleep for half an hour, then we'll do it again. But while I'm sleeping, I need you to hold my testicles in your left hand and my penis in your right hand." Confused, she agrees, and after 30mins, the old man wakes and they go at it - this time better than before. "That was wonderful," the old man says. "But if you let me sleep for an hour, again holding my genitals, we can have the best sex yet." The woman agrees, but she's curious. "Does holding your balls in my left hand and your penis in my right stimulate you while you're sleeping?" The old man shakes his head. "No, but last time I slept with a girl as skanky as you, she stole my wallet."
Drunk N Babbling
Angry
Lest We Forget
New Hostage
Todays additions to the Links to Left.
Gimpboy's Weblog Technorati
Another fine day has passed us by and more are forcast in the coming weeks. I recycled a few older editorials seeing as how I got quite a few hits from them today. It's kind of like "Lest We Forget" gets emailed around periodically and will generate a few hits. Then things will go back to normal but sometimes I'll pick up another regular reader or two. Yay me. I still check where alot of my traffic is coming from and noticed I did a lot better in English speaking countries. Imagine that. I'll still get hits occasionally from stange places one wouldn't expect and as always it kind of tickles me people find what I write or gather for perusal worth visiting again. I haven't broke that thousands a day regular readership I'd hoped for but plodding along I'm making headway. But that has become kind of secondary to why I write. It sort of always was secondary. I started because I was pissed off at the media and our government. I felt another voice needed to be raised so the world would sit up and take notice. Well guess what? The world has taken notice. Maybe not to me but to bloggers and the potential blogging may have on future society. The free world and open forum of discussion the internet has provided further proves people have alot more in commen than first glance reveals. It's also had the wonderful tendancy of shining a spot light on leaders world wide and some of their dirtier tricks. So without further ado I bring you Tuesday.|
"It is a great pity when the one who should be the head figure is a mere figure head."
"Charles Haddon Spurgeon"|
Cluster Game Link
Warthog Launch Game Link|
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog had recently died.
"You know," Mom said, "it's not your fault that the dog died. He's probably up in heaven right now, having a grand old time with God."
Susie, still crying, said, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
Angry
Lest We Forget
New Hostage
Todays additions to the Links to Left.
None Today
Because people tend to forget I felt a need to remind all of you about real pain and real tears. I felt a need to show you in graphic detail the difference between a little girl having her sign torn up, and one who has had her whole world torn up. I decided it was a two picture day so you yourself could compare. Compare away. Oh! And for all you assholes who are all gung ho for beating the shit out of poster tear boy. Any thoughts on what should happen to those responsible for mangled foot girl? Feel free to take your time defending it. Your defense of it speaks alot louder than any words you could ever use.|
"I laugh because I must not cry. That is all. That is all."
"Abraham Lincoln"|
Spank Bush Game Link
Birdy Game Game Link|
A man dressed in shorts and long socks staggers into a hospital emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped very tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asked the poor chap what had happened. "Well, it was like this," said the man, wincing with pain. "I was enjoying a quiet round of golf with my beloved wife, when she sliced her ball into a neighboring pasture full of cows. We went over into the field to try to find it and while I was searching around, I noticed one of the cows had something white and round wedged fair between its buttocks. I walked over and lifted up the cow's tail and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball - stuck right between the cheeks, right in the middle of its bum hole. That's when I made my mistake." "What on Earth did you do?" asked the doctor, intrigued by what he was hearing. "Well, I proceeded to lift up the cow's tail and then I yelled loudly to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!'"
Angry
Todays additions to the Links to Left.
None Today
Missed another update. I swear it's because I've been sick. That and tired. But I think I'm coming out the other side of things and felt a need to throw together this Friday update. After all I know you folks live for Friday. And while I was out digging up new and exciting things for you to look at and read I found an example of party monkeys gone bad. And I knew it would just be a matter of time before they started jailing our simian friends. All I have to say is when they stop a monkey from monkeying around you know they're passing laws against nature itself. Those bastards.|
"The first principle of a free society is an untrammeled flow of words in an open forum."
"Adlai E. Stevenson"|
Guy Porn
Girl Porn
Saved By Your Balls Game Link
Goal Game Link|
A little old lady calls 911. When the operator answers she yells, "Help, send the police to my house right away! There's a damn Democrat on my front porch and he's playing with himself."
"What?" the operator exclaimed. "I said there is a damn Democrat on my front porch playing with himself and he's weird; I don't know him and I'm afraid! Please send the police!" the little old lady repeated.
"Well, now, how do you know he's a Democrat?"
"Because, you damn fool, if it was a Republican, he'd be screwing somebody
The Hit
Todays additions to the Links to Left.
Faisal Hoque Liberal Patriots
Are the documents forgeries? I really don't care. I would rather hear if the charges are true instead of focusing on nothing but the documents. I don't want to hear that Mrs Bush thinks the document is false. I don't want to hear some White House aide tell me the president denys them. I don't want a quote from the president saying he doesn't remember. The fact he doesn't remember never bothering anyone for one second. The fact he sends out a lap dog to protect himself from possibly perjuring himself should real evidence surface. The blast from the "Right Wing Media" focusing all the attention on the validity of the documents and not a bit on the charges themselves. What's worse? I heard Fox use Little green Fascist as a credible source. And before I get the sermon about how Chucky mimiced up a copy showing dithering, everyone please notice he never turned dithering on in the document he mocked up. Crap, garbage, lies. So as the blogosphere becomes the new media on our futures horizon notice that instead of paying attention to bloggers who actually do dig up all the facts they major media outlets instead use bloggers pushing their own version of the truth. We are now equal with the main stream media. We have become whores of truth for dollars, or site hits. I'm so proud.|
"The two-party system has given this country the war of Lyndon Johnson, the Watergate of Nixon, and the incompetence of Carter. Saying we should keep the two-party system simply because it is working is like saying the Titanic voyage was a success because a few people survived on life-rafts."
"Eugene J. Mccarthy "|
Fishy Game Link
Asteroid Lander Game Link|
George Bush and Dick Cheney are talking, when Bush suddenly complains "I hate all the dumb George Bush jokes people tell about me."
Cheney, feeling sorry for his "boss," says "Oh, they're only jokes. There are a lot of truly stupid people out there. Here, I'll prove it to you."
Cheney takes Bush outside and hails a cab.
"Please take me to 29 Nickel Street to see if I'm home," says Cheney. The cab driver, without saying a word, drives them to 29 Nickel Street.
Cheney looks at Bush and says, "See! This guy is really stupid."
George Bush agrees. "He really is a dummy. There was a pay phone just around the corner. You could have called instead."
The Hit
Todays additions to the Links to Left.
Rum and Monkey
Came down with some nasty cold bug. Feel like crap and won't be doing much more than a simple update. If I felt better I could ask about that war in Iraq that we "Accomplished" awhile back, and how the last few days don't shed a good light on our photo OP president nor his administration, nor his war planners. But hey, lets all instead focus on the important issues like a war in Vietnam our government was only too happy to forget for soo long. But like I said I'm sick, and thinking about crap like Oliver North telling us how unworthy one of the candidates is really seems sickly ironic considering Iran Contra.|
"I think anybody who doesn't think I'm smart enough to handle the job is underestimating."
"George W. Bush"|
Park The Van Game Link
Reverse Game Link|
Two old friends/enemies who love to take the piss out of each other are in a bar, drinking. One reaches over and feels the other's bald head.
"Good God! This feels just like my wife's ass!" The man whose head it is runs his hand over it, too.
"So it does! So it does!"
Behind The Keyboard
A Typical Day Debating Right Wingers
Celebrating 1000
Frances
Reporting
Todays additions to the Links to Left.
None Today.
It's a wondeful Friday. For me and the family it should prove to provide a few days outdoors. Then after that we'll probably get hit by the next hurricane. Remember awhile back when I was bragging about living in paradise? HA! Well it really still is a beautiful state. If one has the time and the money it could take you a lifetime to see all the things there are to see here, and it wouldn't be enough. But bit by bit they are disappearing. New homes being built and more people coming. Turning Florida into one big well manacured neighborhood. Maybe hurricanes are God's way of saying leave my stuff alone. But in any case I'm not sure I can handle many more of these things. I mean do you have any idea how much I drink during these things? But who needs a liver anyways. But like I said it's Friday. Go check out some links. Play some games. Have some fun. Aloha.|
"My aim is to put down on paper what I see and what I feel in the best and simplest way." "Ernest Hemingway"|
Guy Porn
Girl Porn
Beer Dude 2 Game Link
Golden Arrow Game Link|
A popular Amarillo Barber shop had a new robotic barber installed. A fellow came in for a haircut.
As the robot began to cut his hair it asked him, What's your IQ?
The man replied, 130.
So the robot proceeded to make conversation about physics, astronomy, investments, insurance, and so on. The man listened intently and said, This is really cool.
Later, another gent came in for a haircut and the robot asked him as it began the haircut, What's your IQ?
The man responded, 100.
So the robot started talking about football, baseball, and so on.
The man thought to himself, Wow, this is really cool.
Later on, a third guy came in to the barber shop.
As with the others, the robot barber asked him, What's your IQ?
The man replied, 70.
The robot then said, So, I understand you Republicans are really excited about George Bush!
Behind The Keyboard
A Typical Day Debating Right Wingers
Celebrating 1000
Frances
Reporting
Todays additions to the Links to Left.
Ratboy's Anvil
Anyone besides me notice that this entire presidential campaign seems to be centered around the questions surrounding the war? And it's not even this war, but one that happened thirty odd years ago. Must really suck when your candidate has no good merits to stand on and has to run a smear campaign attacking someone for something they themselves couldn't live up to. And there you have another failing of the Right. Their guy sucks, so instead of finding something, anything, he might look good at, they instead slander Kerry for a war their boy didn't even have the balls to fight in. Yes. I'm having one of those days. I've started like ten editorials and have them saved somewhere half written because my heart just isn't into it today. I can't presently do justice to the anger I feel at the growing list of lies. I read. Alot. I expect those who also can read to read alot. So I feel no reason to go out and copy and paste link after link just to explain one argument. It's not a case of being lazy but more a case of repetitive motion sickness. I am just sick to death of telling people the truth. Worse yet having to argue with them to prove it. Then when shown the truth many choose to ignore it and change the subject. So I've decided to take a break from the serious for awhile and plan on posting fun picts, jokes, games, and crap editorials no one will like but my Mom. You've been warned.|
"The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober." "William Butler Yeats"|
Airplane Porn
Rescue Maria Game Link
Yellow Out Game Link|
A stranger was seated next to little Tommy on the plane when the stranger turned to the little boy and said "Let's talk. I heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passengers."
Little Tommy, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger "What would you like to discuss?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger, and then thinking he would have some fun said, "How about nuclear power?"
"OK," said Tommy, "that could be an interesting topic, but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same grass yet the deer excretes little pellets, while the cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"
"Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea."
"Well then," said little Tommy, "How is it that you feel qualified to
discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"
A Typical Day Debating Right Wingers
Celebrating 1000
Frances
Reporting
Todays additions to the Links to Left.
Death Clock DePaul University Drunken Mantis Hot or Not Morons.org
Been off making a fortune over at BlogShares. Sorry if it seems I've been neglecting visiting each and every one of your blogs, but chances are I've been entering each and every one of them and catagorizing them into the BlogShares system. I have been able to keep up though and feel I should do my best before, THE NEXT HURRICANE HITS! Yes that's right folks. I again face a coming storm and another weekend inside with the family. Not that I don't like the wifes company, but neither of us our at our best after a weekend in the house with the kids. This coming Saturday is the wife's birthday. Yes that's right. Heck of a way to remember it by huh? But we hope for fair weather and the ability to go out and enjoy ourselves however briefly. And on a funny note. Got a hit today from someone using Yahoo to search for "doing it monkey style". Seems I'm number one. Bahahahahahahaha. Tis to laugh at the very least. Not only have a became number one in both Yahoo and Google for many things, but the growing list gets funnier by the day.|
"Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives. I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends, and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that. That's what's insane about it." "John Lennon"|
Global Porn
Doomed Game Link
FA-18 Hornet Game Link|
Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little girl and some construction workers that makes you believe that we CAN make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time...
A young family moved into a house, next door to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.
Eventually the construction crew, all of them gems-in-the-rough, more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.
At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope containing a couple of dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the two dollar "pay" she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
When they got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with the crew building the house next door to us."
My goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"
The little girl replied, "I will if those assholes at Lowes ever deliver the fucking sheet rock..."
A Typical Day Debating Right Wingers
Celebrating 1000
Frances
Reporting
Todays additions to the Links to Left.
None today.
Throughout history we can find instances of monkeys and humans cohabiting peacefully side by side. But in todays world order there is no more room for silly monkeys. As such many monkeys are turning to crime. Many monkeys have started taking up bad habits they observe humans doing in hopes of fitting in. And even though they are treated as an inferior race monkeys are regularly being marketed to by big buisness. Forgotten in the move to make them second class citizens of the world are the famous monkeys. The ones who did so much for so many. But due the upswing of humans seeking to emulate monkeys, the older human hard liners have been putting their collective feet down in a effort to stomp this out once and for all. Many monkeys now are forced into service caring for the sick and elderly of the sick. Slave monkeys tending to the refuse of society the rich have no plan on touching themselves. And those who will not conform are often deported. Monkeys sent into exhile with no country to call home. Some say part of the recent backlash are due to new findings of mutations within the monkey community itself. Strange new forms of monkeys with web feet bringing fears of gene manipulation within the monkey scientific community. But it's still no excuse for the massacring of monkey monks. Where humans have taken out hits to ethnically and species cleanse their neighborhoods. Since then rebel monkey units have taken to fighting a guerilla war in the trenches. Causing some humans to flee or taking to traveling in larger protective groups. The latest round of attacks were blamed on monkey deaths in a detention facility in America. As well as the intentional drownings of several monkey religious officials. A spokesperson from The United Monkey Liberation Tree has denounced America and Britain for a recent string of illegal scientific experiments against monkeykind, and has suggested they may have to declare war as a result. He also warned of new scientific studies being carried out on monkeys that might have implications of being crossed over and abused on humans as well as monkeys. When pressed, The Head Chimp in charge mumbled something about "all of us being in this war together", then hurriedly swung off into the branches taking the diplomatic delegation swinging off with him.|
"The atom bombs are piling up in the factories, the police are prowling through the cities, the lies are streaming from the loudspeakers, but the earth is still going round the sun." "George Orwell"|
Bicycling Porn
Lifebuoys Game Link
Parachute Panic Game Link|
George Bush was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below.
Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, three kids, who were fishing, pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted.
The first kid said: "I sure would like to go to Disneyland." George said: "No problem. I'll take you there on Air Force One."
The second kid said: "I really need a new pair of Nike Air Jordan's." George said: "I'll get them for you and even have Michael sign them!".
The third kid said: "I want a motorized wheelchair with a built-in TV and stereo headset!!" George Bush is a little perplexed by this and says: "But you don't look like you are injured."
The kid says: "But I will be after my dad finds out I saved your ass from drowning!"
Celebrating 1000
Frances
Reporting
Todays additions to the Links to Left.
The Angry Liberal Dog Snot Laila's Weblog Laughing Wolf Monkey Style Sadly, No Steak and Cheese Univeristy of Nebraska
Now I want to get this off my chest before I forget. Again. Worse yet I may have already said it. But I truly think this needs repeating. What exactly is in the water down at "The Weather Channel"? How many of those girls have been pregnant? I mean do other stations send their pregnant girls there, or does going to work there cause pregnancy? I swear I even saw this lesbian girl, and yes it was obvious by the mans watch and shirt buttoned from the left, who looked to be rounding around the belly. Do they have like some super secret cure to infertility? I mean couldn't infertile couples save alot of money by just giving half to "The Weather Channel" and moving into the studio for a few days or so? Or is it that having a nice job reporting the weather and not having to lie about the real conditions of the world make for a more conducive atmosphere for sex and pregancy? I am unsure the world will ever answer all these questions, but it could become larger than a drinking game. Call it the "Pregnant Meteorologist Kegger". Colleges world wide would be rooting for the next round bellied weather lady to show up. But whatever the case, if I ever find myself near their studios I'm doubting I'd drink deeply of the water. I've already got kids and have learned my lesson.|
"You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war." "Albert Einstein"|
Peace Porn
The Ad&d Engine Game Link
Turtle Herder Game Link|
It was the first day of school and a new student named Martinez, the son of a Mexican restauranteur entered the fourth grade.
The teacher said "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said "Give me liberty, or give me Death"?
She saw a sea of blank faces, except Martinez, who had his hand up, "Patrick Henry 1775."
"Very Good"! Who said "Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth? "
Again, no response except for Martinez: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863." he said.
The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Martinez, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do".
She heard a loud whisper. "Screw the Mexicans" "Who said that?" she demanded.
Martinez put his hand up. "Jim Bowie. 1836."
At that point, a student in the back said. "I'm gonna puke".
The teacher glares, and asks "All right! Now, who said that?"
Again, Martinez says "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister. 1991"
Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this! "
Martinez jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky. 1997!"
Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said, "You little shit. if you say anything I'll kill you."
Martinez frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy 2001."
The teacher fainted. and as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh shit, we're in Big trouble!"
Martinez said, "Saddam Hussein 2003"
Frances
Reporting
While I have always represented a firm dislike for Bush. I mean seriously folks he could be the antichrist. I am not about to forget hundreds of people killed by terrorist in Russia. Any person or group of people that kill for no other reason than to force their belief on others needs to be exterminated. If my dog turns on someone it dies. If my child grows up to be a murderer, God please don't let that happen, I would escort them to the police so they could stand trial. What I will not allow is some fool in a robe to teach my children to kill for religion. I'm very close to teaching them not to fight for governments either. And instead to stand up for what is right and wrong in their own lives and around them. From where I sit Bush has highjacked our country and our armed forces. Our soldiers who may or may not have enlisted for the most honorable of reasons are being exploited by Curious George. That might be my opinion but it's the opinion of a growing number of people many of which are in the military. And maybe just maybe they've succeeded much more than expected and the people are coming out to vote. And it seems the people want their government back. Want their freedom back. Want the nanny state big brother mentality to go back in the closet where it belongs. But there are many who don't feel that. They feel the status quo is fine where it is and rocking the boat would be detrimental to our ongoing struggles with terrorist. But alas getting rid of one lousy president and administration is not going to clean up the shithole that has become American politics. It's high time we just dug in and did the job right. Replace every conniving asshole in Washington, and pass a law making it a crime punishable by death to exploit public office for the personal gain of self, friends, family, or special interest. I mean seriously. What do these guys stand to lose when they do a bad job? Nothing. They still have life health care, special laws protecting their persons, pensions much greater than most Americans, and a host of other perks. All that for doing a crappy job. It's about time there was not only accountability in government. Bush thinks it's a good idea for schools. Then why not in the White House as well? Bush and his administration think it's a good thing to have more information available on it's citizens. Then why not more information about our leaders? What exactly do these people have to hide? And that obvious truth, them hiding something, many things. That obvious truth tells alot more about this presidency. When exactly has America felt there were serious matters being hidden from the people? Clinton? Most of us knew and accepted he got a blow job and just didn't really care about it. Reagan, Bush Sr? Iran Contra. Nixon? Watergate. It does seem the people sit up and notice once and awhile and when they do there usually is something worth finding. Are we going to let the war on terrorism excuse every broken law? Are we going to allow our government to be taken from us? Is it too late anyways? Ahhhhh, screw it. I think all these answers can be found somewhere in the bottom of my next beer. Or maybe the one after that. I'll get back to you if I'm still able to stand. Sayonara. |
"This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness." "Dalai Lama"|
Guy Porn
Girl Porn
Space Vaders Game Link
Sumo Game Link|
As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: "10 lamb chops, please."
Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog's mouth, and quickly closes the shop. He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways, and trot across the road to a bus stop. The dog checks the timetable and sits on the bench. When a bus arrives, he walks around to the front and looks at the number, then boards the bus. The butcher follows, dumbstruck.
As the bus travels out into the suburbs, the dog takes in the scenery. After awhile he stands on his back paws to push the "stop" button, then the butcher follows him off.
The dog runs up to a house and drops his bag on the stoop. He goes back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself -Whap!- against the door. He does this again and again. No answer. So he jumps on a wall, walks around the garden, beats his head against a window, jumps off, and waits at the front door. A big guy opens it and starts cursing and pummeling the dog.
The butcher runs up screams at the guy: "What the hell are you doing? This dog's a genius!"
The owner responds, "Genius, my ass. It's the second time this week he's forgotten his key!"
Another Hurricane
Seriously
Well I haven't really delved off into a huge editorial frame of mind today. Instead I recycled the ones from this week in case you missed one. Being in Florida I'm guessing I'm going to be playing another game of how drunk can you get before the hurricane hits. So far the answer is very. With the weather supposed to really suck, and there being a good chance I'll be stick in the house most this Labor Day weekend I'll probably be "Hurricane Blogging". Check around and see how many of us you can find before we can't be found anymore. Then you can be the first to report it. But in jest I deflect what might actually worry me. The more worried the more of an idiot jokster I become. After all I find laughing in the face of danger a damn sight better than turning into a whimpering cowering ball of fear. So for those who do get hit by this storm. God bless.|
"I have spent many years of my life in opposition and I like the role." "Eleanor Roosevelt"|
Guy Porn
Girl Porn
Ninja Combat Game Link
Juggling Game Link|
Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, "You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can
you prove who you really are?"
Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?"
Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his theory of relativity.
Saint Peter is suitably impressed. "You really ARE Einstein!" he says. "Welcome to heaven!"
The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again, Saint Peter asks for credentials.
Picasso asks, "Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?"
Saint Peter says, "Go ahead."
Picasso erases Einstein's equations and sketches a truly stunning mural with just a few strokes of chalk.
Saint Peter claps. "Surely you are the great artist you claim to be!" he says. "Come on in!"
Then Saint Peter looks up and sees George W. Bush. Saint Peter scratches his head and says, "Einstein and Picasso both managed to prove their identity. How can you prove
yours?"
George W. looks bewildered and says, "Who are Einstein and Picasso?"
Saint Peter sighs and says, "Come on in, George."
Ninja Pee
Lying Liars
RNC
Ponderings
With a brain twisted by mind numbing substances, and blurred by endless hours of TV, I fail to see what the big deal about the end of the world is. Who really cares who starts it. Won't it look lovely on TV. Just think of the telecast. And with a near act of God coming down on me by way of hurricane I wonder how any of them can offer security like a sellable commodity. They can't control anything. We only allow them some control. And maybe, just maybe it's time we took that back.|
"How long will they kill our prophets while we stand aside and look?" "Bob Marley"|
Volleyball Porn
Yeti Sports 6 Game Link
Jungle Dave Game Link|
An eagle was feeling rather horny, so he swooped down on a dove and took it back to his nest. Once back at the nest the dove said, "I'm a dove and I like love."
The eagle thought, "Fuck that," and tossed the dove out of the nest.
Then the eagle spotted an owl. So he swooped down on the owl and took it back to his nest.
Once back at the nest the owl said, "I'm an owl and I like to howl." The eagle thought, "Fuck that," and tossed the owl out of the nest.
Then the eagle spotted a duck. So he swooped down on the duck and took it back to his nest.
Once back at the nest the duck said, "I'm a drake and I think you've made a mistake!"
Ninja Pee
Well today I went off and learned about BlogShares a little bit. You can find the link to left. Seems someone bought all my available stock up and since my web page has a tilde in the name I can't claim my own page. Yet. Since then I've been cruising through a few of my own links to see what exactly some of you folks are worth. I started with five hundred imaginary dollars and doubled it rather quickly. Following the same agenda I already followed I am willing to bet I can double my earnings almost daily. So eventually I'll be very very imaginary rich. Not as nice as being really rich I am sure but hey it's a game, and I'm having fun with it. Don't be suprised if your not already signed up if I have bought and traded your stock several times over until it's a devalued heap. Which could kind of make me the Ken Lay of the Blog Shares world. But it is fun. If you're new to it keep clicking those survey questions to amass a small fortune in coins that you can use to put your blog up on their home page. As soon as you use them no more survey questions. Yeah I know. No venemous flames shooting out of my ears tonight. I took a day off from reading what liars had to say, or listening to them on the news. I'd rather play a pretend game than their real game that leaves me feeling icky. Just watching Fox news makes me feel like bathing. But honestly, anyone besides me noticed the blond female newscaster trend on Fox? I mean it's almost like the Third Reich has risen again. But what with the pictures I've chosen lately you might have already assumed it.|
"Don't join the book burners. Do not think you are going to conceal thoughts by concealing evidence that they ever existed." "Dwight D. Eisenhower"|
Video Game Porn
Exmortis Game Link
Parking Garage Game Link|
Gary Condit was on a sinking ship and everyone was rushing to get into the lifeboats. The captain yelled, "Woman and children first!"
"Screw the Woman!" One man yelled.
"Do we have time?" said Mr. Condit.
Lying Liars
"I don't wanna work. Just wanna bang on the drum all day."
Gotta problem with that?
Drunken Monkey Style Blogging
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