If you don't know what Tom Swifties are, I don't know how to explain them, so you'll have to just look and see for yourself. If you don't understand them, think about it for a while. If you still don't, you probably aren't a Tom Swifties type of person.

"This water's not cold enough," Tom said icily.

"That laxative worked very well!" Tom said as he flushed with pride.

"I just dropped my toothpaste," Tom said, crestfallen.

"That male bovine won't talk," Tom mumbled.

"This is fermented grape juice," Tom whined.

"This is a no smoking area," Tom fumed.

"That dog isn't purebread," Tom muttered.

"My, your getting tall!" Tom groaned.

"We're out of fuel!" Tom gasped.

"I'm returning the vehicle I borrowed," Tom said truculently.

"These tiny bugs are getting on my nerves!" Tom nattered.

"Where did the deer we were hunting go to?" Tom queried.

"It's a frog!" Tom croaked.

"This hard drive holds 1,000 megabytes," Tom giggled.

"I've said it once and I'll say it again -- we can't do that." Tom recanted.

"That aircraft is moving toward me," Tom complained.

"Look at the long piece of wood supported on both ends," said Tom, beaming.

"Should I call you Charles, or can I use your nickname?" Tom chuckled.

"Put them back in prison," Tom deliberated.

"This item is in need of repair." Tom said brokenly.

"This tire needs to be built again." Tom replied.

"They pay me less than they pay their donkey!" Tom assuaged.

"It's myself and a female companion," Tom meandered.

"I discharged the excess electrons that had built up on me!" Tom said ecstatically.

"We'll have to take the ship back to harbor," Tom reported.

"This word also has to refer to a person, place, or thing," Tom renounced.

"May I become a member of this singing group?" Tom enquired.

"It's a stick used for playing pool," Tom accused.

Submitted by John George:

"You've got to make the fire burn hotter," Tom bellowed

"I hate sea food," Tom crabbed

Submitted by James Dittes:

"The victim was completely impaled by this spear," Tom pointed out.

"After 600 sit-ups, my stomach muscles are about to burst!" Tom said abruptly.

"She said her number was 454-1871," Tom recalled.

"It's true. Time is running out," Tom seconded.

"I could marry Elizabeth Taylor three--even four times," Tom realized.

"Fine, then I'll file a countersuit," Tom retorted.

"I follow a man named Charles," Tom chuckled.

"I'm not doing nothing at the moment," Tom reneged.

"I'd like to search for the Holy Grail again," Tom requested.