P-l-e-a-s-e let me
sign your book. Pretty please?


That was then.
Now is now.


If we would only try to understand the terrorists, they would - (please pass the white zinfandel) - they would leave us alone.

Men are evil and unnecessary

Would you buy a used car from this man?

I've said it before and I'll say something different again.

Make it another
double, but go easy on the ice this time. I have another confer- mation hearing in less than an hour.

It's not "cut and run, ya' got that? The word is "redeploy".

Great Orators of the Democratic Party...

One man with courage makes a majority.  - Andrew Jackson

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.  - Franklin D. Roosevelt

The buck stops here.  - Harry S. Truman

Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country. 
                                                                                                  - John F. Kennedy

And Today’s Democrats

t depends what your definition of 'IS' is. - Bill Clinton

That Obama - I would like to cut his NUTS off.  - Jesse Jackson

Those rumors are false .... I believe in the sanctity of marriage.  - John Edwards

I invented the Internet.  - Al Gore

The next person that tells me I'm not religious, I'm going to shove my rosary beads up their ***.  - Joe Biden

America is--is no longer, uh, what it--it, uh, could be, uh what it was once was...uh, and I say to myself, 'uh, I don't want that future, uh, uh for my children.
                                                                                                        - Barack Obama

I have campaigned in 57 states.  - Barack Obama

You don't need God anymore, you have us Democrats.  - Nancy Pelosi     

Bill is the greatest husband and father I know. No one is more faithful, true, and honest than he.  - Hillary Clinton    

*****************************************

I want a divorce 

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists, et. al:  

We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce.  I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course.  Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right, so let's just end it on friendly terms.  We can smile, slate it up to irreconcilable differences, and go our own ways.  

Here is a model dissolution agreement.   Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass, each taking a portion.  That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement.  After that it should be relatively easy!  Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.  We don't likeredistributive taxes, so you can keep them.  You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military.  You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell (you are however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move them).  We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street.  You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies, and illegal aliens. 

We'll keep the greedy CEOs, and Rednecks.  We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.   You c an keep the 'girly men.'  

You can make nice with Iran, Palestine , and France, and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.   You can have the peaceniks and war protestors.   When our allies or way

of life are under assault, we'll provide them  job security.  

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian Values.   You are welcome to Atheism,  Islam,  Scientology, Humanism, and Shirley MacLaine.  You can have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.  

You can give everyone healthcare, if you can find any practicing doctors (that is practicing Howard Dean) who will follow to your turf.  We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.  

We'll keep The Ba t tle Hymn of the Republic and The National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to  substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach The World To Sing, Kumbaya,  or We Are the World. 

We'll practice trickle-down economics, and you can give trickle up poverty its best shot.  Since it often so offends you we'll keep our History, our Name, and our Flag.  

Would you agree to this?  In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR on who will need whose help in 15 years.   

Sincerely,

              John J. Wall
              Law Student
              American  

              P.S.  Also, please take Barbara Streisand.

Hat tip to classmate Grant Bornzin 

**************************

Chan Lowe

GO TO MORE POLIQUIPS                   RETURN TO HOMEPAGE

If you haven't seen them already, check out
"Second Term", "This Land is Your Land",  "It's Great to Live in D.C", and
"2-0-5: Year-end Round-up" at jibjab.com

Also, see "I Can't Wait 'Til 2008" at flowgo.com

Also recom-
mended
"News Report from Iraq"

What Kids Say About the Elections

Some things never change. Check out this old movie clip.

Every  Demo- crat's perception of the typical
Republican.
Click here (thanks to the Jay Leno Show)

Click on the telephone to hear what our military recruiters have to put up with