"The Drugs"   Copyright 2000 Jacqueline S. Levy

Nine months of waiting
Now the moment is at hand.
The labor pains are real.
While anticipating
The miracle we planned,
I got to tell the world exactly how I feel.

        I want the drugs.
        I need the drugs.
        Give me the drugs now.
        Where are the drugs.
        I need the drugs.
        All of the drugs right now.

Focus on breathing,
Said Doctor Lamaze,
While listening to Chopin.
But my writhing and reeling
Prove the doctor was
Slightly out of touch and most certainly a man.

        I want the drugs.
        I need the drugs.
        Give me the drugs now.
        (breathing) Ha ha ha whew.
        (breathing) Ha ha ha whew.
        (screaming) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!  Right now!

                It doesn't matter if we have a boy or girl.
                All that matters is I get the epidural.
                It wasn't long before I realized
                From the waist on down I want to be paralyzed!

Smoking and drinking
Or popping some pill
Creates a deadly mix.
They got people thinking
That drugs often kill.
Well, so can childbirth, so damn it where's my fix?

        I want the drugs.
        I need the drugs
        Give me the drugs now.
        Where are the drugs?
        I need the drugs.
        All of the drugs right now!
        (screaming) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
        Where are the drugs?
 

Copyright 2000 Jacqueline S. Levy