Being Jewish among the Goyim...I mean, among the gentiles,
Requires diplomacy and tact.
Especially yearly it's important to clearly
Understand just how to act:

Don't call the Goyim on Christmas Eve;
Like Rosh Hashanah, it's a holy time for them.
Show some respect for what they believe;
Like all that meshugas regarding three wise men.

    On Jesus' birthday we leave them in peace
    To do last minute shopping for their Great Aunt Bernice.
    They're busy dancing 'round pagan trees.
    Don't call the Goyim on Christmas Eve.

Don't call too early on Christmas day;
They may have stayed up late at midnight mass.
Just like when Jews go to Kol Nidre,
Praying once a year can wear you down so fast.

    With open affection and truth in their eyes
    They're telling children all about a reindeer that flies.
    They're baking fruitcake they throw away.
    Don't call too early on Christmas day.

            I'll reiterate
            What a mensch does on this date.

Don't call the Goyim on Christmas Eve;
They're practicing benevolence and love.
So many customs to oversee.
Most of which nobody knows the meaning of.

    Even Judaic traditions are planned
    Like visiting with family that they can't stand.
    From California to Tel Aviv,
    Don't call the Goyim.
    Send 'em home if you employ 'em.
    And don't call the Goyim on Christmas eve.
 

Copyright 2000 Jacqueline S. Levy