It's a Family Affair

Remember Family Affair from the 60's?

Before there ever was a Chucky (Child's Play), my friends and I sat a on a wall, watching cars go by and talking about stuff like killer doll babies. Dolls that came to life and attacked unsuspecting human beings.

This was because we'd seen Trilogy of Terror: Amelia, and that had a haunting effect on our psyche. You never forget a demon-possessed doll that runs through the house slashing up a beautiful woman. You also never forget the Talking Tina episode of The Twilight Zone. The little girl in the episode had a doll that talked when you pulled its string. And when no one had pulled its string, the Talking Tina doll told the father in a malevolent voice: "My name is Talking Tina, and I'm going to kill you!" 

I blame television for my dark sense of humor! That and adolescent humor. This brand of television contained some funny stuff. And yes, this is how I entertain myself. I sometimes invent wacky mutations of something that has affected me. So quite naturally, the next step in my creative process is to get a benign doll, say Mrs. Beasley from Family Affair, and gird her with double kitchen knives. Of course, Stephen King's Carrie made lethal kitchen knives very popular.

But as for my creation Mrs Beasley's Revenge, Mr. French will never hear you scream! Isn't that kind of spooky?

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American Forefathers or American Fo'fathers

American History
I'd have been more inspired in by history, if I saw similarities between myself and the history makers. If George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Benjamin Franklin and Theodore Roosevelt were more like the people in my neighborhood, I'd have found them wildly interesting and majorly entertaining. Fortunately for you, dear reader, in my imagination, I do find our forefathers wildly entertaining. Now, you can see what I see.

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The Legend of Lizzie Borden

Is Lizzie Borden scary enough for you? The caption reads: Lizzie Borden took an ax, and gave her mother eighteen whacks. And when she saw what she had done, she gave her father ten plus one.

I altered the original rhyme to reflect the facts. Instead of forty and forty-one whacks, the count was actually a lot lower.

Anyhow, she seemed to have hated her stepmother far more than her father (if she did it). Almost twice as much hatred, I think.
This portrait is based on how she actually looked.

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Copyright Infringement, my aunt Patootie!

If you have a point of view in America, you are free to express this. Obviously your environment shapes your point of view. You are free to express your opinion. You can express it through writing an article for a local newspaper or create a standup routine and express yourself in nightclubs across America. You can pull down a paycheck for either of these forms of expression.

But.

Don't let the fine artist express his point of view via visual media, because suddenly you can find yourself handcuffed, shut down, sued and your reputation destroyed.

What do I mean?

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I'd like to express myself the same way as the article writer and the comedian. I'd like to use my god-given gift to put my opinions out there in a way that expresses my thinking, and get paid for it. But the minute I have something to say, based on any established piece of art or cartoon character, copyright infringement says that I can't. Or I'll get slapped with a lawsuit.

I get it: to snatch someone else's work and to call it my own is wrong.

But.

What I don't get is that my reaction to some else's work is wrong to express, too? I see humor in other people's work; I should have the right to express that humor. And get paid for it. Isn't that what a writer does? Isn't that what a comedian does? Do not they express themselves about something that they did not create, through reporting or commentary?

I know that the issue is larger than I've stated here. I don't mean to distill what writers and comedians do down to concentrate. All I'm saying is that I deserve that very same right, to comment on things that I did not create, as long as my own hand accomplishes this. Mr. Disney, you may have created Mickey Mouse, but I'd like to create my reaction to Mickey Mouse and put that on a t-shirt to sell. This is my parody, my commentary, and my reporting. Freedom of speech or expression should give me the right to express my opinion in whatever medium I choose. And no one should be given the legal right above me to call my expression: copyright infringement.

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The Green Nightlight (parody of the Green Lantern)

My business partner and I were discussing what superhero he most identified with. After some careful thought, he answered: The Green Lantern.

Cool!

My original thought was "Let's turn my business partners into stuff." So I did. I turned one of my business partners into the Green Nightlight. I'd asked him because I was designing 'about us' pages for our future website.

First I got a photograph from him to draw from. He's a handsome guy and was not afraid to smile into the camera, so that was easy. He sent me the photo via email.




Next I drew his portrait and I drew him a body to go with, because you couldn't have a floating head. Well, you can but that's a bit scary.


Next I gave him some color, and voila! My business partner is a superhero.



My business parter, Conrad Lawson, is a talented performer and writer.
When I showed the illustration to him, he remarked: "Now they'll have to give me the Green Lantern ring because I look so good in the uniform!"

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Buck Rogers in the 25th Century: Twee Kay (Tweekie)

Tweekie (pronounced: Twee Kay) is doing whatever it takes to survive! Sell illegal power packs on the street and deactivate the Robo Cops — that’s the basis of Robo Gangsta Rap! Let all your ROMies know that you’re down with the Ro-Bros and Bro-bots! Disrespect all the fembots by calling them glitches and hoebots.

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Kung Fu Santakuro-su (Japanese for Santa Claus)

Ever wake up on Christmas morning and wonder where that nifty Christmas present is that you wrote Santa Claus for? It wasn't there because Santa and Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer could not get through. Christmas enemies are everywhere, and the Christmas duo was stopped by the Christmas bad guys.

But wait a minute, Christmas has never been safer for your children! Santa and Ruddy have been taking martial art lessons from the famous Jhoon Rhee of Jhoon Rhee's Self Defense. Now, you can encourage Santa and Ruddy by showing support for the Christmas cause. No one can stand against you as you help Santa do his Xmas work on Christmas eve. Help Santa and Rudolph the red nosed reindeer standoff against Christmas evil. This year, we'll get your Christmas present delivered!

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The Brady Bunch (The New Technology)

Everybody loves the Brady Bunch! Well some people do. My wife absolutely hates that her childhood family is measured against this utopian idea. She hates the suggestion that a family crisis can be solved inside a 30-minute episode. She believes that no mere architect can earn enough money to afford a housewife, a housekeeper's salary and six needy brats.

While she has a great point, I believe that the whole idea of the Brady Bunch is to forget our problems. It's that we should get lost in a 30-minute world where people can pretend that all's good (right now). And that the most serious problems are tracking down Tiger the dog, and whether or not Alice, our housekeeper, feels love from the whole bunch.

In case you don't know what's going on in the picture above, the new technology is a transistor radio.

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Barney, The Terrible Jurassic Park Lizard

Driving away from the giant dinosaur can be a nightmare, especially when the terrible lizard is as fast as your vehicle. Barney the Dinosaur does fossil fuels a big turn as he disables a combustible engine that uses it. VROOM-VROOM go bye-bye!

Next, see Barney hunt down the heads of the oil companies to exact his vengeance! Barney, the terrible lizard, thinks that gas prices should be lowered or either oil tycoons should be.

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