Cleaning the Garage

Bob McFadden

I don't know whether it's rooted in southern values or merely an ingrained (inbred?) family tradition, but there is one thing I learned from my father & from his father - never sell a car. It may be due to Scottish stinginess that the McFadden side of the family has always preferred to buy cheap cars, drive them for many years until they barely moved & then preserved the crumbling remains in an old barn (or displayed them prominently on blocks in the front yard). To be fair an effort was made to sell these cars, and it was in fact understood that 20 years, 200k miles and catastrophic rust would contribute to some minor degree of depreciation. However, at least to my grandpa, it was incomprehensible that an object of such weight (& with so many moving parts) could not seem to raise an offer of more than $50! And so the object sat, waiting until it's inherent value would be realized. Grandpa was right - in 1996 (2 years before he passed away) his '53 Plymouth Cranbook found a buyer. Although "on the market" for 24 years (safely stored in the carport) it finally sold for its full asking price: $350.

Actually grandpa was a bit of a compulsive & generally didn't like to get rid of things unless he really had to. Fortunately he lived out in the country & could easily stash large objects in one of a dozen or so sheds or barns (note - this is not the case in suburban Beaverton). However, he also liked to read & one thing he never got rid of was a book. Sadly, the rural area he lived in is still renown for its low literacy rates; what this meant was that when a "lot" of old books went up for sale at the local country auction (he attended 3-4 a week), he could usually purchase it for 25 cents. Now $1 a week for 20 years is not a great financial burden, however a carload or so of books a week for 20 years can tax the storage capacity of even a large rambling old farm. When we finally cleared out his estate we trucked out approximately 50,000 books that filled almost every room of his house, floor to ceiling & so deep to each wall that only a narrow passage snaked through each room (I won't even mention the nearly equal number of books that filled the 3 self-storage lockers in town).

So the question is - has this behavior diminished over 3 generations? In my case the answer is apparently no. The only change is the substitution of books with cars. In a recent fit of "responsibility" I decided to replace my 19 year old Volvo 240 commuter car with a new 4 door Subaru Impreza. Maybe "replace" is the wrong word - both of these cars plus Sue's newer car continued to occupy the driveway along with 3 moldering British cars squeezed into our 2-car garage. Previously what this meant to me was that there was still room for at least 3 more cars in our longish driveway (for a total of 9). I had actually broached this subject with Sue, with the only response being a severe rolling of the eyes - a pretty positive sign! However, even with 6 cars I was starting to feel the crunch. I'm pretty sure grandpa didn't get to enjoy all of his books & in a similar vein I did not want become an automotive version of the children's book "Hundreds of cats, thousands of cats, millions & billions & trillions of cats". I could no longer use my workbench, I could no longer access most of the cars, I couldn't even move the garbage can to the street without hiring a valet service. Furthermore the subject of Sue's reliable car being blocked in by an old Lotus is not a warm memory (note - product liability was not foremost in Colin Chapman's mind when he chose to place the leaky carburetor float bowl directly over the distributor).

Something had to go. Victim number 1 was the old Volvo. There are a lot of good times & memories associated with this car, but that is another story. This car was dead reliable, well maintained mechanically & to this day a decent driver. However 200k+ miles of hard treatment + 12 years of Boston & Pittsburgh winters had cosmetically taken their toll. The roof & trunklid (the only original body panels remaining on the car) were in surprisingly good shape. The entire lower perimeter of the car, unfortunately, was a mottled amalgam of Rust, Bondo, fiberglass, "Rust Avenger" & Kmart gray primer. This was actually surprising since most of the associated panels had been replaced either after the 50 mph, multi-guardrail highway spin (don't ask) or the run-in with a construction crane. Additionally the sunroof leaked on Sue's head (even in good weather) & nearly every instrument & electrical component had stopped working except for the headlights, taillights, driver's window & heater (what else do you need really?). The leather interior was in shards & most of the stuffing & seat webbing had disintegrated. All in all nothing too serious - the only really yucky thing was the seatback map pocket which had been turned into a sort of ad-hoc yogurt maker when my kids emptied a container of milk into it (discovered 4 months later by an unfortunate friend). This car I donated to the Oregon Council for the Blind; I believe this organization will appreciate drivability & collision protection far more than cosmetic appearance.

Victim number 2 was the MGB. The Volvo wasn't too hard to part with since I really couldn't justify keeping it. However the MG is different - with this car & the other old ones there never was a logical reason for owning them, simply liking the car was enough to justify keeping it. Nevertheless, I was on a cleaning spree and my mind was made up - another car must go. And so a few weeks later I gave the MG a good cleaning, printed up a "for sale" sign & drove it down to the local British autojumble.

Yes there is such an event in Portland - hosted yearly by the local MG car club. The autojumble is the UK version of a car swap meet. In England the autojumble is a revered event where the motoring enthusiast would go to procure a set of near mint hubcaps for their '37 Bentley or perhaps a replacement brake drum for that old Wolseley Hornet. Such an arcane selection of goods is unlikely here in the states. However, the popularity of the MGB in the US has helped to ensure that, at least locally, it is king of the autojumble. As I toured the event I located nearly every part of an MGB that could possibly be replaced - unfortunately most of the parts for sale looked like they already had good reason to have been replaced. I'm still puzzled as to where you would place on the supply & demand curve a set of MGB fenders that had the lower half completely missing from corrosion.

Anyway, I listed my MG at what I thought was a slightly higher than fair price. This particular car was a GT model, which tends to not be as popular as the roadsters. However it was in good overall condition & it was a '67 model year, which is considered to be desirable due to its metal dashboard, overdrive transmission & lack of emissions equipment. Even with many other nice cars present this car seemed to get its fair share of doting & by the middle of the afternoon a near full price offer had been made, retracted & then remade.

The following weekend the new owner came by with a check and took the car. It was a bit sad to see it drive away down the road - but I was at least consoled to know that the new owner was a real MG freak (down to his matching "Safety Fast" shirt & hat logos).

So how is my break with family tradition going? As for the MG.so far I don't really miss it. Having the extra space makes the garage much more livable - there is actually room to get around the workbenches. On a Sunday afternoon, or late in the evening I can totter around in there for hours, listen to jazz on my 40yr old Grundig radio, clean off greasy tools or flip through some old car magazine that I forgot to read. I now have room to actually do productive work (like make repairs on one of the remaining cars that no one ever uses). This afternoon, for example, my daughter & I spread out an old box of glass supplies & I helped her make a stained glass window to hang in her room. The success of that project has me already planning future projects, preferably something fairly small. Hmmm, what should it be..?