Ted, Thor's lesser-known younger brother, the Norse god of bicycle repair and maintenance

Joseph is holding Mjollnir, the fabled metric wrench of the gods, feared by the Rime Giants (sometimes translated as Corrosion Ogres). His purely historical headgear should not become the subject of helmet wars.

Naturally, Joseph tries to hide his true identity by posing as mild-mannered bodybuilder and actor Trygve Lode, but the details in the story of Ted clearly point to RBT's best-known Scandiavian poster.

I even won an award for this costume of Ted, Thor's lesser-known younger brother, the Norse god of bicycle repair and maintenance. It all started when Terrylee (who was a regular on soc.singles a bunch of years ago) came into town and dropped by for a visit; we ended up wandering off to MileHighCon and she just happened to have a very well-done medieval costume. Naturally, the moment we made it into the lobby of the hotel where the con was being held, most of the members of the staff were trying to cajole Terrylee into participating in the contest. Suffering from an attack of shyness, she finally agreed that she would--on condition that I (who was not wearing a costume at the time) would as well.

Being much more the obnoxious and foolhardy type myself, I agreed, but that left the little matter of coming up with something to wear. By a fortuitous coincidence, at a garage sale not so many weeks before--through luck and an expenditure of seven dollars and fifty cents--it had happened that the so-mythical-as-to-be-utterly-forgotten Spanner of the Gods had fallen into my hands. While rushing home to fetch this legendary tool--aided and abetted by the redoubtable Terrylee--the long-lost Norse myth, "Spam and the Spanner," which told the story of how Spam came to be the sacred food of the Vikings was...um...recovered.

So that's how Ted, the Norse God of Bicycle Repair and Maintenance regained at least a little of his former glory and renown. We won the award for best presentation and I had a fine time afterwards behaving in a terribly evil and irresponsible manner by occasionally just handing the wrench to some of the people who were asking whether it was real and/or how much it weighed (fifty-five pounds, in case you were wondering). People will give you great reactions sometimes when you casually hand them something that weighs a lot more than they expect.

I didn't mean to look quite so grouchy in these pictures, but I never know how these pictures will turn out until after they've turned. Maybe it's because I couldn't get the little "wings" I'd made for the sneakers out of some metal toe-clips to stay on right; either that or maybe Ted really would be feeling grouchy because, except for a couple of Schwinn mountain bikes, these days nobody makes bicycles that are designed to be adjusted with tenth-century Norwegian tools.