Welcome to the Adaptationist Stories Web Site

        How did zebras get their stripes? Why do men have nipples? Why don't chickens have lips? These and myriad other mysteries can be explained by using the magic of adaptationism. Adaptationism, with the powerful ingredient: Ultra-Darwinian selection, will end your ceaseless wondering about biological mysteries in the world around us, and will save thousands of hours of grueling and tedious laboratory and field work. Ultra-Darwinism allows you to do real evolutionary biology from the comfort of your own barcalounger!

        That's right! You don't have to go to the lab today! Lower the shades, don your smoking jacket, light your pipe, swirl cognac into your snifter and relax. It's adaptationist story time! (This should be more fun than a monster truck show.)

note: All the biological phenomena and research mentioned on this site are from real news accounts in the popular scientific press or from research journal articles. Wherever possible we give references and links to these articles.

       This site began when one of us was involved in writing reviews (Ahouse, 1998; Ahouse & Berwick, 1998) of the recent wave of pop hyperadaptationism. During a discussion in the lab it was suggested that if we could only place these stories back to back it would become obvious that they are just too easy to invent. One of the main complaints from critics of adaptationist story telling has always been not that they are wrong but that there are an uncountable number of plausible stories. This caused us to start saving stories from the wire services. This collection has grown and now we offer you this site.

       Our site is meant to stimulate discussion and poke a little fun. If you are really interested in the way that narrative constraints affect theories and theory choice there is a literature on this (Landau, 1991). If you are interested in a less mirthful unpacking of adaptation there is a substantial literature here as well (Amundson, 1996; the entries on adaptation in Keller & Lloyd, 1992).

        You can contact the perpetrators of this site by email; Jeremy Ahouse: jeremy.ahouse@comcast.net, John R. True: jrtrue@facstaff.wisc.edu and Dave Keys: dnkeys@students.wisc.edu.