Our daughter Amy
Adopted from Nanping, Fujian Province, China - October 1995
This beautiful little girl is our daughter, Amelia Elizabeth
Jobe. We had the great fortune to be able to travel to China and adopt
little Yan Yuanyuan (as she was then known) in October of 1995. It has
been the most remarkable experience of our lives, and we would like to
be able to share it with others in the hopes that they may be moved to
help some of the children left behind.
Our journey began with the decision to forego further infertility
treatments after eight years of physical and emotional trauma. We realized
that for us, the drive to have a child of our genes was not as strong as
the drive to love a child. In late 1994 we decided to look into adoption.
We talked to several couples about domestic agencies, and at the
same time started networking for a private adoption. We started hearing
many stories which confirmed the stories we'd seen in the media about the
length of time it takes for a domestic adoption and the uncertainty of
it. Nevertheless, we were willing to push on because we thought there was
no option.
Then a friend asked us to get in touch with a couple who had adopted
a little girl from China. We had not even thought about international adoption,
but we were certainly willing to explore all the opportunities presented
to us. So we called the couple to arrange a meeting.
We called the week after Christmas. Little did we know that it
would be our last Christmas alone together! Linda was extremely gracious
and answered all our questions - at least all that she could with her new
daughter Ashleigh dancing and singing in the background! Linda and her
husband Bob had traveled to Nanning just two months before to adopt Ashleigh.
Ashleigh was two years old when she was adopted, and within those two months
she had acclimated wonderfully to her new American life.
We visited them a week later
and were bowled over. We heard about the trials they had had with domestic
adoption and international adoption through Paraguay. We heard about the
(relatively) smooth sailing they had in preparing to adopt Ashleigh. We
saw the pictures and videos they had of their trip to Nanning and their
meeting with their daughter. And most of all, we saw Ashleigh - one of
the most beautiful, loving and bright children we have ever known. You
can see her right here as she was in Nanning before her trip home.
As we got into the car to leave on that cold January night, we
turned to each other and said almost simultaneously, "Let's go!"
The Decision is Made
We contacted Lutheran Ministries within the next week and attended
an orientation meeting shortly thereafter. Cheryl, our social worker, explained
that she would help us prepare our dossier and would be doing the home
study. The materials would be sent to Holt International in Oregon, which
would be the actual adoption agency in contact with the Chinese government.
The dossier and home study would be translated and sent on to the Department
of Justice in Beijing. They would match us to a waiting child, we would
give our approval, they would approve us for travel, and we would wing
our way over to China to pick up our daughter. Sounds oh-so-simple, but
in practice it's oh-so-difficult...
So we started the process of getting our paperwork together. Cheryl
helped us every step of the way, even when Washington, D.C. was less than
prompt in getting my birth certificate to us with all the proper notarizations
and stamps. While we were undergoing the process of obtaining piles of
certificates, fingerprints, documents, medical clearances, passports, and
enough official seals to start our own show at Busch Gardens (seals,
get it?), we spent some of our free time in writing autobiographies. The
guidelines that were given us to use for the autobiographies were exhaustive.
Every aspect of our relationships with our own families was scrutinized.
I wanted to ask Cheryl if we needed to plot out the family tree on posterboard,
or at least submit tissue samples for DNA testing.
One of the amusing aspects of putting together our dossiers was
providing the pictures of Susan and me participating in our everyday activities.
I don't know about most people, but we just don't have a lot of pictures
of us reading, cooking, relaxing, etc. We know what we look like when we're
at rest, and it isn't pretty. So we took one Saturday afternoon and posed
all our "candid" shots. (Sshh! Don't tell anyone!) We changed outfits
several times so it wouldn't be obvious what we were doing. The Chinese
government must be impressed how every day here is like a beautiful spring afternoon!
We were a little leery about the home study. Here we are inviting
someone into our house to pass judgment on whether we would be fit parents.
Realistically, we had nothing to worry about. I don't have a collection
of "Combustible Artifacts through the Ages" and Susan is not in the habit
of leaving broken glass strewn throughout the foyer. But we (Susan) worried
anyway, since, after all, when do you really need a reason to worry? However,
Cheryl was very easygoing during the home interview. She tried to leave
without seeing all of the house, but after all the work that went into
it, we weren't about to let her leave until she had seen every square inch.
Our dossier was completed in late April and sent to Holt. They
performed the translation of the documents after checking them for completeness
and giving us their seal of approval. Now it was just a matter of waiting
until our referral.....