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Employing the mortality handicapped since 1907 |
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| --All images copyrighted © Jim Emelander --Last Updated May 22, 2009 |
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* Lets be honest, if you're hiring walking dead employees,
then your business is likely not long
for this world. Both you and your business will likely pass on long before our
workers stop
ambling about. Tough break by the way. Keep us in mind for your post-mortem employment.
"Our Employees Just Don't Care"™
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You can go a lot further if you have a piece of paper |
As odd as it may sound, 'lifetime employability’ is our goal at Hire a Zombie. We do this through our Career Rehabilitation Extreme Education Program or C.R.E.E.P. We expect our mortality challenged workers to outlast most of our customers*. Because of their employable longevity, skill obsolescence can be a major problem for the working undead. Studies show that, although most temporary employees largely take responsibility for their own training, they get fewer opportunities to enhance their employability than do permanent employees. At Hire a Zombie we maintain
a on-site state of the art training facility. All our undead workers complete a extensive one week 13 step C.R.E.E.P. training program before we crate and ship them out the door. Basic skills such as walking and shuffling, not eating off limit brains, telemarketer moaning, and knowing when to shut the f**k up are all covered. |