Wilson County Advocate Jimmy Joe Meeker Archives

The Wilson County Advocate

Jimmy Joe Meeker Archives
by
Don Gillette

The Articles The News Briefs The Horoscopes

Links to other works by Don Gillette including the critically acclaimed The Face In The Mirror Is Not Mine and other writings

If you're at all interested, here's a Brief History of The Wilson County Advocate.

Foreword:

There is someone currently masquerading as "Jimmy Joe Meeker" spewing forth self-serving drivel on a mangled web site that purportedly deals with politics in Lebanon, Tennessee. While the site is mildly entertaining (if you can ignore all the pop-up ads, the poor grammar, and the misspellings) it appears (to me, at least) to be nothing more than wild, twisted, vicious personal attacks against anyone, elected or otherwise, who disagrees with the author. While a blind man on a galloping horse could easily tell the writing is not mine, I feel compelled to say it: the writing is not mine. And in contrast to the impostor, I'm literate.

Middleword:

    For whatever bizarre reasons, I've had quite a few requests for articles I wrote for the now-defunct Wilson County Advocate under the pseudonym "Jimmy Joe Meeker". This moniker was borrowed (stolen) from the old television series, "The Rockford Files". If you've seen the show, you might remember that Rockford often assumed this character to run a scam. And that's what I was doing when I was Jimmy Joe--scamming.
    Half the things Jimmy Joe wrote about were fictitious; the other half were hyperbole...obvious exaggerations. It wasn't my fault some readers of these literary gems took them as gospel.
    Anyway, the experience was interesting and fun. Except for the death threats. But surprisingly, very few of the people I wrote about took offense--the only ones I pissed off were the ones with a brain about this size: * My articles were all in fun at the expense of people who elected to be...well...elected. True, the bowler's association hated me, but in my defense I refer you to the previous sentence and this: *
    So, welcome to the Jimmy Joe Meeker archives. The articles are in no particular order--I'll fix that once they're all up here. As with that ill-conceived rag, The Wilson County Advocate, if you liked the Jimmy Joe Meeker articles, thanks. If you hated them, I understand. You can believe me. I'm not like the rest.

Afterword:

For those of you who need to know, these pieces are copyrighted--but if you print them as your own work, the chances I'll ever find out about it are slim to none. Knock yourself out.

Donald W. Gillette
Nashville, Tennessee
January 1, 2002

The Articles

Article Title	Volume, Number, and Date
A Guide To International Terrorism	Vol. 3, No. 14, April 13, 1993
In Search of the Political Machine
She Has A Wonderful Personality...
Getting What You Pay For
Financial Foolishness	Vol. 5, No. 29, August 10, 1993
The FCC Comes to Cablevision	Vol. 3, No. 25, June 22, 1993
Doctor Talk	Vol. 3, No. 27, July 6, 1993
Medical Mayhem	Vol 3, No. 26, June 29, 1993
1993 Wilson County Census	Vol 3, No. 19, May 18, 1993
Monkeys and Real Estate	Vol. 3, No. 17, May 4, 1993
Francis, Fighting, and Finance	Vol. 3, No. 4, February 2, 1993
Life Is Good	Vol. 3, No. 18, May 11, 1993
Gunfight at the Yo-Yo Corral	Vol. 1, No. 23, November 12, 1991
Here Comes That Insurance Man	Vol. 3, No. 16, April 27, 1993
Paved With Good Intentions	Vol. 3, No. 15, April 20, 1993
The Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come	Vol. 1, No. 28, December 17, 1991
Herein Lies The Truth	Vol. 1, No. 28, December 17, 1991
Thanks For The Blue Things	Vol. 1, No. 27, December 10, 1991
Unions and The Demise of America	Vol. 1, No. 27, December 10, 1991
The Queers and Cracker Barrel	Vol. 1, No. 26, December 3, 1991
My Daddy's The Dalia Lama And I Vote In Tibet	Vol. 1, No. 23, November 12, 1991
"Hey, Man, Buy Me Some Liquor"	Vol. 1, No. 22, October 29, 1991
Our City Council: Hah!	Vol. 1, No. 22, October 29, 1991
The Lebanon Independent (Lebanon Democrat Parody)	Vol. 2, No. 17, April 28, 1992
If You Don't Fund These Buses, We'll Shoot These Kids	Vol. 2, No. 1, January 27, 1992
Letters To Santa	Vol. 2, Nov. 50, December 15, 1992
Savage Christmas	Vol. 2, Nov. 51, December 22, 1992
It's Your Body - Take Care of It	Vol. 2, No. 1, January 27, 1992
Everything About Music	Vol. 3, No. 13, April 6, 1993
Interstate Whatever	Vol. 3, No. 12, March 30, 1993
Tennessee Sports	Vol. 3, No. 12, March 30, 1993
Letters to the Doctor	Vol. 3, No. 9, March 9, 1993
Post-Election Cheer-Up Section	Vol. 2, No. 45, November 10, 1992
How To Win Through Cheating	Vol. 2, No. 40, October 6, 1992
What It Takes (Qualification Test for Co. Commissioners)	Vol. 2, No. 39, September 29, 1992
Advice for Today's Teens From A Teen Of The Past	Vol. 3, No. 8, March 2, 1993
Desperately Boring Situations	Vol. 2, No. 38, September 22, 1992
All The Civil Defense Needs Is Leadership	Vol. 3, No. 10, March 16, 1993
Letters to the Doctor	Vol. 3, No. 10, March 16, 1993
Hostility Around The World	Vol. 3, No. 7, February 23, 1993
Behavior at the Inauguration	Vol. 3, No. 2, January 19, 1993
Marriage and Wedding License	Vol. 3, No. 5, February 9, 1993
The Lebanon City Council	Vol. 1, No. 1, June 18, 1991
Wilson County Organizational Chart	Vol. 1, No. 8, August 6, 1991
The Fox Is Back!	Vol. 3, No. 1, January 12, 1993
Chuck, You Never Had A Chance	Vol. 3, No. 1, January 12, 1993
Let The Buyer Beware	Vol. 1, No. 9, August 13, 1991
The Lebanon City Council	Vol. 1, No. 9, August 13, 1991
First Blood	Vol. 1, No. 10, August 20, 1991
Education At Its Best	Vol. 1, No. 10, August 20, 1991
Fiddler's Grove	Vol. 1, No. 11, August 27, 1991
Old Hickory Lake Is A Septic Tank And It Needs Pumping	Vol 1., No. 11, August 27, 1991
The Junk In Our Food	Vol. 1, No. 12, September 3, 1991
What's Wrong With Wilson?	Vol. 1, No. 12, September 3, 1991
Belly Up To The Bar, Boys, The Drinks Are On Me	Vol. 1, Nov. 12, September 3, 1991
I Dream Of Jeannie	Vol. 3, No. 3, January 26, 1993
Much Ado About Nothing	Vol. 2, No. 42, October 20, 1992
Why Are These People Laughing?	Vol. 1, No. 16, September 24, 1991
Letters to Jimmy Joe	Vol. 1, No. 16, September 24, 1991
Taxes Fold Like Cheap Suit	Vol. 1, No. 15, September 17, 1991
An Open Letter To Vandals	Vol. 1, No. 15, September 17, 1991
The Lebanon City Council	Vol. 1, No. 19, October 22, 1991
Lawyers: We Hate 'Em	Vol. 1, No. 19, October 22, 1991
The Fall Of The Wilson Empire	Vol. 1, No. 19, October 22, 1991
Screw Up And Move Up	Vol. 2, No. 37, September 15, 1992
Letters to the Doctor	Vol 2., No. 36, September 8, 1992
Thanks, Mom, The Battery Acid Tastes Swell	Vol. 1, No. 17, October 1, 1991
On The Trail Of The Crazed Boar	Vol. 1, No. 17, October 1, 1991
Have Some Tea, The Water's Fine!	Vol. 2, No. 35, September 1, 1992
The Welfare System	Vol. 2, No. 3, January 21, 1992 (Misprinted Vol. 1, No. 3)
George Harding--Is He In Or Out?	Vol. 2, No. 3, January 21, 1992 (Misprinted Vol. 1, No. 3)
Letters To The Doctor	Vol. 2, No. 3, January 21, 1992 (Misprinted Vol. 1, No. 3)
The City Council	Vol. 1, No. 13, September 10, 1991 (Misprinted Vol. 1, No. 10)
The Wilson County Tea Party	Vol. 1, No. 13, September 10, 1991 (Misprinted Vol. 1, No. 10)
Our Fill Of Landfills	Vol. 1, No. 13, September 10, 1991 (Misprinted Vol. 1, No. 10)
Of Bigfoot, UFOs, And Bigots	Vol 2, No. 34, August 25, 1992
Spend It On Anything But Kids	Vol. 2, No. 47, November 24, 1992
The Pale Horse Shrieks for Pig Meat	Vol. 1, No. 7, July 30, 1991
Comprehensive Alphabetical Guide To Nashville Restaurants	Unpublished

Link to other works by Don Gillette including the critically acclaimed The Face In The Mirror Is Not Mine and other collections
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