By

Jimmy Joe Meeker

The County Commission's giving away money. The line forms to the right.

This year's budget included $140,000 to give away to local organizations and some of them really need it, use it, and deserve it. And some of them don't. I'm throwing in with Commissioners Joy Bishop and Jerald Phillips (who turned out to have a little sense once he got away from Gilbert Graves): County government definitely needs to provide funds to community agencies that help needy citizens but it shouldn't give away the taxpayer's money to pinch hitters and party boys.

• $7,444.25 Mid-Cumberland Human Resource Agency.

This is a good agency. They help a lot of people. Sometimes a bum or a baby machine gets on their rolls, but overall they really try.

• $13,500 Humane Association of Wilson County

If you think I want the animal rights people on my ass, you're mad. Besides, how would you like to put up with a pack of howling mongrels? As Don Simpson can tell you, it's no cake walk.

• $31,500 Prospect, Inc.

This is money well spent. No kidding, these people do more for other people than any agency in the County, the State, or perhaps the nation. They're overworked, under-funded, and they just keep on keepin' on. They should have gotten more.

• $4,680 Vocation Training Center in Gallatin

It's in Gallatin because Sumner County as better politicians than Wilson County. This place trains people for a job so they can help the rest of us pay taxes.

• $6,000 West Wilson Senior Citizens
• $7,200 Lebanon Senior Citizens
• $3,150 Cedars Seniors, Inc.

This suits me just fine. Senior citizens spent their lives putting up with the deranged children of their generation and they deserve a place to spend their "golden years" away from the twisted and murderous children of our generation. Besides, I don't want my grandmother hanging out in a bar trying to pick up sailors.

• $26,280 Cumberland Mental Health Services

Mental health is just as serious as physical health. Especially in this county.

• $1,000 Youth Emergency Shelter

The shelter helps kids who are having a rough time at home. It really can't afford to employ enough professionals to get the job done as it should be, but they do their best with what they've got to work with.

• $6,300 Lebanon Wilson County Chamber of Commerce
• $3,100 West Wilson Chamber of Commerce

Can't these two associations get along? One is for Lebanon and Wilson County and the other is just for West Wilson County. Why not make it the Wilson County Chamber of Commerce, put it in Leeville between Lebanon and Mt. Juliet, firebomb it, and be done with the whole thing.

• $7,332.48 Greater Nashville Regional Council

These folks help the county get government grants and we all know what our taxes would be like without government grants. Sever grand seems a little steep but they help bring in a hundred times that, so I suppose it's okay. We could hire a pro to get us grants out the kazoo, but it'd cost a bundle.

• $1,800 Tucker's Crossroad's Grange

This would be okay if anybody knew what the hell a "Grange" was.

• $2,700 Watertown Community Ball Park

Give me a break. Watertown's got a lot of community support. Surely they can raise $2,700 for their ballpark without the county having to kick it in. Yeah, the high school uses it, but they sell tickets. Use that money.

• $2,500 Lebanon Lions Club
• $1,800 Gladeville Lions Club

I happen to know for a fact that there are no lions in Lebanon or in the Glade. If there were, we could get money selling tickets to a safari. Take it easy, I know the Lions Club does good work for their causes (especially for the blind) but these two clubs can raise enough money through donations and other fund-raising to keep themselves in business and if they can't, they should fold.

• $3,150 Mt. Juliet Little League

Parents, if you want your kid in Little League, pay for it yourselves.

• $1,350 Lebanon Optimists Club

Again, I happen to know for a fact that there is not a single optimist left in Wilson County. We're all pessimists and that's the way we'll stay until we get a new County Commission.

• $1,800 Lebanon Kiwanis

No county funds should be allotted to organizations with stupid names.

• $1,000 Watertown Saddle Club

Saddles are inanimate objects and do not need clubs.

• $1,000 Mt. Juliet Youth Sports

There seems to be an inordinate amount of sports in Mt. Juliet and none of them have any money. They need to take up jogging. All it costs is a pair of shorts and some shoes.

• $1,000 Home Safe
• $1,350 Wilson County Civic League
• $1,350 Gladeville Community Center
• $1,350 Norene Community Center

The first time the Commission voted on giving away this money, the motion failed which gave every Commissioner the opportunity to get up and talk about their pet project. They were informed that the money was already in the budget and they'd have to give all or none, so they voted to reconsider. This motion passed.

James Francis was the only Commissioner who spoke up against a particular organization and, true to form, he chose the one group that proves the private sector can do a better job in education than the County. he "had a problem with" Prospect, Inc. I've got news for Francis, though. If he wants to act like an idiot in this county, he'll have to stand in line. Right after he made his comment, half of the commissioners shook their heads, four began weeping like lepers, and one taped a "Kick Me" sign to the back of his shirt.

Anyway, after some token discussion, the Commission voted on the motion again and it passed 22 to 1 to 2 meaning that 22 voted for, 1 voted against, and 2 were lying outside in the gutter.

The Commission learned that 4,160 people owed back taxes to the county. Several delinquent accounts were over a year old and a couple dated back to 1978, the Year Of The Swine. There was a computer print-out the size of a small child filled with the names of these tax welchers. With all those names available, if this had been a Lebanon City Council meeting, Don Fox would have had a duck. You all know how he feels about "naming names."

After this torturous horror movie was over, the Commission moved on to the issue of reapportionment. It put the VCR on fast forward and almost went back in time.

I got such a kick in the pants out of seeing the County map flash by in seconds that I rewound the tape and watched the whole meeting again on fast forward. Believe me, you haven't lived until you've seen County Attorney Mike Jennings flaying his arms around and nodding his head like a Tasmanian Devil on amphetamines.

But, back to professional reporting.

There was a lot to learn in this Commission meeting. First by eliminating idiotic donations, the Commission could have saved 40 grand.

And, assuming the average back tax owed to the County is around $350, there a cool million and a half bucks out there just waiting to be pounced on.

I wonder how long that would keep the school buses running?

No one here gets out alive.

XXX