By

Jimmy Joe Meeker

This whole thing stinks like a small mouth bass left in the sun for a couple of days.

The former commissioner of public works in Lebanon, Andy Jordan, caught mortal hell from ex-city councilman Don Fox for weeks and still managed to cling to his job like a leech.

Fox wanted him gone because he'd obligated the city to spend around $200,000 for electrical mapping and didn't get City Council approval before he did it. And Fox was right, too, but none of the weasels on the Council would listen to him because, as we all know by know, in Lebanon, you don't have to do things "by the book."

But instead of getting on Jordan' case for what he did, the mayor defended him with everything he had--which wasn't much.

Fox, disgusted with trying to be one of the two ringmasters in control of a circus of clowns, quit the Council and was replaced by some skirt who happened to be the only person in the ward even remotely interested in the job. Fox's replacement has been so effective since joining the City Council that I don't even remember her name. Maybe it'll come to me later.

Anyway, Jordan quit last week. He says he's going back into private industry--a business called Public Work Management, Inc. that he founded. Does anybody notice something unusual? Jordan was the Commissioner of Public Works and now he's the head of a company called Public Works Management? A blind man on a galloping horse could see what's going on here.

There's a mayoral election coming up in the future and the only real competition Bobby Jewell's even had came from City Councilman Gary Keith. Keith has just been appointed as the new Public Works Commissioner.

Maybe I view things differently from other people, but didn't Jewell and Keith used to be at each other's throats constantly? And as I recall, Keith was once the assistant Commissioner of Public Works and got fired. Bobby Jewell, a council member at the time, voted against letting him return. Keith eventually sued the city, a judge agreed with him, and he got his job back--but still, Jewel voted against him. Why has he had this change of heart?

Could it have gone something like this?

"Listen Gary, you've tried selling cars and you've tried selling insurance…face it, you can't keep a real job. If you promise not to run against me in the next election, I'll get Andy Jordan to quit and let you be the new Commissioner of Public Works. You won't have to do anything but answer the phone. Andy will still do the same job, but we'll contract it out. He's got this business, you know? It's called Public Works Management, Inc. We'll pay him by the hour and we'll pay you by the year. All you've got to do is promise not to run against me because the way I've been handling things lately, a high school girl could beat me with a two-to-one margin."

"Can do, chief."

Now I don't know if that's what happened or not. But I'd be willing to bet that it's real damned close to the actual thing.

On any level, the behind the scenes wrangling that goes on in politics would make a pig puke. It's all two-faced, back-stabbing deal making. Even in a little burg like Lebanon.

Power is a funny thing. When the mayor of Lebanon, Tennessee visits Tupelo, Mississippi, he's just another Joe. But when he's within the confines of his domain, he's Big Ass Pete.

You can trust me on this one. Remember, I'm not like the rest.

And I don't have a thing in the world against Gary Keith as a person.

I thought he was pretty ineffective as a councilor.

As a matter fact, I thought he was goofy. Anytime a confrontation developed, he looked like he was scared to death that someone was going to hit him. And a couple of times I think some of the rest of them wanted to.

All he ever commented on was undercoating city cars and the merits of automatic transmissions versus stick shifts on city trucks, but I never thought he did anything crooked or under-the-table. Until now, that is. I think this whole thing is crooked and under-the-table.

Bobby Jewell said that Keith is "honestly concerned about issues and about the good of the city as a whole." I believe that. But that doesn't mean I believe he's the new Public Works Commissioner because he's concerned about Lebanon.

And I also believe the guy needs a job in the worst kind of way.

According to the requirements of the city charter, Gary Keith's not qualified to be the Public Works Commissioner, but nobody cares about that and so, neither do I. And it wont' matter if he isn't qualified anyway because Andy Jordan will most likely still be doing the job as a representative of Public Works Management, Inc. The only difference is that it'll cost Lebanon residents more money.

With Keith out of the running, maybe Bobby Jewell can win reelection. Unless that high school girl decides to enter the race. Or anybody else with half a brain for that matter.

It'll be nice to call the Department of Public Works and get to speak to the Commissioner about your problems. He'll be nice and polite to talk to and he'll be concerned about how you're doing and how the wife and kids are and yes, he'll get somebody on it right away and have a good day and come see us.

But what they really needed was a good receptionist.

No one here gets out alive.

XXX