MY DADDY'S THE DAILA LAMA AND I VOTE IN TIBET

By

Jimmy Joe Meeker

"The dog sucked his brains out," the girl said. "He's dead."

First Published in The Wilson County Advocate, Vol. 1, No. 23 ©November 12, 1991 by Donald W. Gillette

Some people never learn.

Hasn't it been pretty evident lately that county officials are under the microscope? Don't they realize that when they screw up we'll be there waiting?

Well, to tell the truth, last week, it wasn't we who were waiting…it was them.

One of the Lebanon Democrat's staff writers caught Wilson County Clerk and Master Britt Linville in a major league, pull-the-wool-over-their-eyes snow job. And I give credit where credit is due. They got this sneak-wienie and they got him good.

Britt Linville isn't registered to vote in Wilson County. He votes in Macon County. And Britt Linville's car isn't registered in the Land of the Great Wheel Tax. It's registered in Macon County.

Last time I looked, you were supposed to vote in the county you live in. You were also supposed to register your car in the county you live in. And if you were going to be Wilson County's Clerk and Master, you were supposed to live in Wilson County.

According to Linville, he does live in Wilson County. And he's got a couple of vehicles registered in Wilson County, although the one he drives to work each day isn't. But he's got some property in Macon County and he's got "one hell of a nice daddy" who serves as the elected Macon County Tax Assessor.

Before I go on, let me ask a couple of questions:

? How old do you have to be before you stop calling your father "Daddy"?

? Why would Chancellor C. K. Smith appoint a Clerk and Master for Wilson County who's not registered to vote in Wilson County?

? Would Linville's single vote in the Macon County Tax Assessor race sway the election one way or the other?

? Is an extra couple of bucks in wheel tax worth all the heat this guy's going to take over not registering in Wilson County just so he can vote for his "beloved daddy"?

According to Linville, any "son who's worth a damn will at least vote for his own father."

Well, maybe. Even if it makes him look like a two-bit punk and costs him the confidence of the people who pay his salary.

It's a matter of perspective, I guess. What if Linville's father was the mayor of Baton Rouge, Louisiana? Would he register to vote in Wilson County then? What's it going to take?

Wilson County's Registrar-At-Large, What's Her Name, said the law was vague in this area. Baloney. We've got a County Attorney to interpret the law for us. County Attorney Mike Jennings needs to pull his head out and take a breath. The Registrar should stick to signing up voters.

I hate to make these kinds of calls. I'm not an attorney. But as a Doctor of Metaphysics, I can tell you that the law in this case is as plain as the nose on your face. You vote in the county you live in unless you're planning on moving back soon.

And in Linville's case, moving back soon would seem the right course of action. We don't take kindly to this kind of crap in Wilson County anymore because a crazed pack of morons have already cost us more than we care to discuss.

Linville did say that he's planning to change his voter registration from Macon to Wilson County now that he "works in the courthouse." Yeah…I would to, if I'd been spotted jumping the fence.

To beat it all, after he was caught red-handed, Linville tried to shift the focus away from his slimy, under-handed ruse to figures put out by County Court Clerk Jim Goodall. He said that Goodall was putting out "a bunch of bull."

Well, okay, maybe. And maybe not.

But at least Goodall's bull is registered in Wilson County and he votes here.

Figures released by Goodall indicate that vehicle registrations are down in Wilson County. Linville claims the reason behind this drop is that no one in Davidson County is registering cars here anymore.

And the check is in the mail. And I'll still respect you in the morning.

We could have used that $100 bucks in wheel tax you didn't pay on your Maxima last year, Linville, but don't let it worry you too much and don't lose any sleep over it. If I know the citizens of Wilson County, they'll take it out of your hide.

No one here gets out alive.

XXX