I will be "covering" the Atlanta Olympic Games from my armchair for my favorite mag (now that they are paying me): Runners World. As a rule of thumb, I only read RW when (a) I'm in it, or (b) some hot chick is on the cover. Since RW wants to sell magazines, (b) is usually true. They want me to write my thoughts on the Games as an outsider (i.e. someone who's not on the team), and they will post them on their web site. And I wasn't even planning on watching the Games - sour grapes thing. Now I have to watch it. They said I can go anywhere I want with it. Expect references to flatulence, and repeated and arbitrary use of the word BOOGER. Just like this: BOOGER BOOGER BOOGER BOOGER BOOGER. For the actual running stuff, I'll just transcribe the opinions of my coach Tom Fleming, and take credit for them myself. Some of you may be concerned that I am not giving this the respect it deserves, or that I will compromise my journalistic integrity, let me assure you that, like most reporters, I will draw the vast majority of my information from a reliable source: my ass. I will also pepper the column with insults and other assorted truths about my colleagues on the American Team being careful not to say anything that will draw me into lawsuit territory - a move sure to win me lots of friends. So check out the web site during the Games, and see how much I can get away with. Additionally, I promise that will be the last time I end a sentence with a preposition. My first deadline is Thursday, 7/25, at noon. I bet they break the deal in disgust after 2 columns.

Not Being There - Joe LeMay

Seeing as the last thing I actually published was my master's thesis, I was a bit surprised when RW asked me to write this column. There are valid reasons for it, though. I did "make" the US Olympic Team at 10,000 meters, was forced to forfeit my spot on said team when I couldn't produce a qualifying mark in said event, and until midnight June 16, the deadline for submitting said mark, considered myself an Olympian. Some of you nice people out there have written me saying you still consider me to be an Olympian regardless. Thanks guys. I also happen to be an athlete with a bitchin' web page (http://members.aol.com/jlemoo/homepage.htm), and, as I am employed as a software consultant (i.e. geek), I'll be able to write the stuff without loosing it somewhere on my computer and get it in to RW on a timely basis.

Someone suggested I write about how it's really hot in Atlanta, and I'm up here in CT. For those of you who might be interested in that, I think USA Today has a weather site at http://www.usatoday.com. Besides, I'm sweating like a animal here too, just like I would be if I were in Atlanta. Newsflash: it will be hot. That Vincent Rousseau, the 2:07 man known for leaving the starting lines, and big appearance $, of marathons because of warm weather, will not run the marathon is a safe bet (I don't actually know that he's not running for a fact, but it's a safe bet). I just got my pre-Olympic edition of Track & Field News. The low on the track the day I ran in the Olympic Trials was reported at 83, so a 29:06 (my time in the Olympic Trials) was not so bad. I'm actually a little pleased with that since I sometimes have trouble with the heat.

Yes, it sucks to have come so close to going and then not go. Maybe worse than finishing fourth in the trials race and not going, maybe not. After all, head to head, I did beat all those guys, except for Todd. I think I could have done a better job in the Games than those I beat, but that is a question that will never be answered. I went after the qualifying time in April at the Penn Relays, but a nasty wind kicked up that night, and slowed me to a 28:23. I made another attempt in Boston, but had a bad day, and the race was conducted in the dark. Then, there were no quality 10000 meter races (i.e. cool weather, good competition) after the US Trials. Not even in Europe, not even in Oslo. And now not only do I not get to go to the Games, but I won't get that cool leather jacket that all team members will receive - a chick magnet if there ever was one. But some good will come of it. I am no longer in danger of being lapped by Haile Gebresilasie, and I will not have to deal with a mostly American crowd who's wondering why these short Africans are beating our big 6'4" distance runner. In a fit of sour grapes, I was planning on not watching the Games, and I went so far as to tell a NJ newspaper (I grew up there) that I would "be a baby about it," but now I suppose I will tune in. Given the TV coverage that is likely to ensue, that would not have been such a loss. Let's face it - you really don't get to see much of the actual competition; which is why I hardly watch track even when it is covered. God bless the VCR - you can watch the 15 minutes of actual track coverage that will be stretched out over 2 hours in the time it takes to fast forward. So keep in mind that, as I write, I'll be no better informed that the rest of you people, and seeing as the only newspaper I read is the Wall Street Journal, maybe even less informed. I promise I will not leave the confines of my couch to retrieve any information, and if Baywatch or 90210 (my favorite show) comes on, I may have to skip the track stuff. And I don't have a friend in the stadium with a cell phone sending me reports. I'll try to pay attention and get into this, though, so this column won't be like Seinfeld: about nothing.

Second column

The other RW columnist left off by saying:

"I just saw some Swedish gymnasts walk by the building. I think I better go spread some international love." - Marco "the D.O.C." Davis

Let me know how it goes, Marc. I wonder what those Swedish gymnasts thought of DOC's earrings, shaven head, and tattoos? Those who know me can testify that I've always stuck with the classically handsome look. Perhaps it's time to get a piercing of some kind. Then again, it might be difficult to hold down a job looking like that. Wouldn't be prudent.

Understatement: the ceremonies were quite a show. The parade of athletes took 2 hours but seemed to go by quickly (actually I taped it, and watched the rest the next morning). I now know what my life's mission should be: to be the flag bearer for the Mongolian Olympic Team. For those of you who weren't paying close attention this particular individual marched into the stadium wearing little more than an athletic supporter and a super hero type cape. Appropriately dressed for the hot weather, he was likely the most comfortable person in the stadium that night. He must have been a weight lifter or a wrestler because he was strong enough to carry his nation's flag in one hand, holding it straight out at arm's length. In short, he stole the show, and if I could get away with that, I'd do it in a minute. The only person who may have usurped him would be, in my mind, Haile Gebresilasie. The Ethiopian team looked great in those white outfits, and Haile really looked like he was having a good time. I've never met him, but he seems to carry an aura of celebration with him wherever he goes. I'd hazard a guess that he doesn't get too nervous before events. He shouldn't. He ought to know he's number one in the world. Just the same, I could understand if he were a little apprehensive here. The expectation of winning the 5/10 double is a great one, even when you can turn your final 200 in 25 seconds. The only thing that irked me, and I'll probably get over this with age, was the Dream Team. We see this guys marketed in our face for most of the year, and now they're turning Olympic Basketball into little more than an exhibition. I suppose the bronze medal game might be worth watching. Clearly, the NBA is the most successful organization in sports today when it comes to promotion (it's hard with a tight budget, but USATF could take a lesson from them), and basketball is a great sport, but it might be nice to turn on the TV for just five minutes without seeing an NBA player. Of course, sending a pro team to the Games was not an American idea. The international governing body of basketball voted it in to promote the sport overseas.

Other points of interest:

- Sonya O'Sullivan will not be the first Irish woman to win an Olympic Medal. A swimmer did it on Saturday.

-Daniel Komen (WR holder in 2M at 8:03), Moses Tanui (forfeited marathon spot for 10000, then didn't make 10000 team), and World 5000 Champion Ismael Kirui did not make the Kenyan Team. There's probably a couple of other Kenyans of note I'm leaving off, but those are the two who stick out in my mind.

-I always thought the President was supposed to say "Let the Games begin," but now both Regan and Clinton said "I declare the Games open." So I guess I'm wrong.

I didn't want to watch the opening ceremonies, knowing that I should be there, but I had to see what I was missing. People have asked my how I'm dealing with the disappointment of making the team, and then loosing my spot because of the qualifying mark, but when you turn on the TV, and see 200+ people die off the south shore of Long Island in a 747, these problems become petty. So not being there, is not so bad. Trust me.

TV coverage lousy - but we knew that was going to happen.

When it was proposed to me that I write this column, someone suggested that I write about how frustrating it was to see only two minutes of the 10000 meter heats - he expected this to happen. By now we know that we didn't see ANY of the men's 10000 meter heats. I'm thankful for the presence for Mary Slaney. If not for her and her story, there would not have been any coverage of any distance race. It's now Saturday night for me, and the 100 is over. The women's 10000 heats being the only thing left on the schedule tonight, I have turned off the TV since I am relatively sure I won't see them. And I was really looking forward to seeing what Kate Fonshell could do. Bet she moves on to the final. By the time anyone reads this, we'll all know whether she made it.

Not to get in too much of a plug for this website, but it is the best source of results I have found thus far. The only time, in my memory, you could actually see the Games if you lived in the US, was when the Triplecast was offered. Having lost millions on that venture, no one can hold it against NBC for not going that route again. What is remarkable is that, as coverage of Track and Field goes, the Olympic Trials coverage on ESPN was outstanding. Just about all events were shown - some in their entirety, and it was repeated mid-afternoon if you missed it. NBC has exclusive broadcast rights in the US, so either get tickets, go to Canada so you can watch, or be at their mercy.

Nevertheless, if you had to patience to watch, there was some good stuff to see. I love athletes with attitudes who aren't afraid to show it. I remember Dennis Mitchell from HS. He went to Edgewood HS - across the river from Philly in NJ. Graduating in 1984, I thought of him as a 400m runner. After all, he did break Ron Freeman's NJ state HS record. I think he ran something like 46.02. Ed Grant, the official NJ track historian who writes for the Newark Star Ledger, could give you the details. It was always interesting to see how much Dennis could make up on the final leg of the 4 x 400 relay. Forty and Fifty meter leads would quickly disappear when Dennis got the baton. When asked, after his quarterfinal heat, if Frankie Fredricks of Namibia was beatable, he walked off without a response. Some of you might say that such actions hardly make him role model material, but I enjoyed seeing this display of arrogance. I was entertained. Besides, his message was clear: Of course he's beatable, so I'm not even going to dignify that question with an answer. Having just such a psyche is sometimes part of being the best in the world.

And what actually did happen in the distance races so far? Well, this web site provides the results and, beyond that I can say that no one, as of this writing, knows what the story is with Todd Williams. The second heat of the 10000 went out in a pedestrian 14:28, then they started to crank it up to 65 second quarters, and with about 8 laps to go, Todd moved off the track, kept running into the tunnel, and left the stadium without comment. He looked good before the dropped - not appearing to be having any particular difficulty. I do have something of an inside story here: Todd hasn't spoken to anyone at his shoe company (he and I wear the same logo) yet about what happened. He'll have to tell someone sooner or later, lest his life become a living hell trying to avoid the press. Now, by virtue of this column, that I am a member of the press, I will exploit all means available to me to find out the truth, and I won't rest until I learn it, or get tired and go to bed. Whichever comes first.

Frequent RW cover person Suzy Hamilton finished fourth in her first heat to not advance in the women's 800. Joetta Clark did the same, with only Harvard grad Meredith Rainey moving on. I thought the presence of Suzy would have been a sure-fire TV ratings getter, thus providing us with good coverage in that event, but no such luck. We know that Lynn Jennings and Amy Rudolph will be in the 5000 final, and that all the usual suspects will advance to the 10000 final, with no Americans. We'll see Tergat, Gebresilasie, Hissou, and a host of other Africans in that event.

Some stuff I thought was really cool:

-Nice camerawork. That moving camera going along the final straight-away is a winner. Consider that it must be able to move at least as fast as the sprinters themselves. That's greater than 10 meters/second in geek speak. How else could you get such a view of the races? By running along side as the race goes? I think not. How about the dive-cam they got over at the pool? If you like that one, just wait until the pole vault. I can't wait to see what the NBC engineers have cooked up for that one. The pole vault cam is going to be a winner. I just know it.

-In swimming, they cheer the athlete on only when their head pops out of the water. Makes sense. That's when the athlete can hear you. Those swimming fans are smart people.

-I am presently coached by former marathon great Tom Fleming. I am switching to Bela Karolyi. No offense Tom, but he's really good.

Bob Kennedy and GI Joe will make for TV viewing excitment

Here's another theory as to why we haven't seen a track race longer than 800 meters on NBC yet. Sorry, four laps of Mary Slaney running in the 5000 heats doesn't count. Let me draw from my considerable cache of TV show memory and recall a special that 20/20 did about the Neilson ratings. I believe, that, in order to be a Neilson household (someone with a monitoring box on the TV), something like six hours of TV are required each day. I don't know any distance runners who watch enough TV to even get close to that figure. Thus, American TV must cater to couch potatoes. This theory is probably true, as I have obtained it from my usual reliable source: I made it up. Many of my fellow distance runners have considered the possibility of NBC televising races like the women's 5000 and the men's 10000. They all seem to be in favor of it. People in other countries get to see every lap live, and what is now being proposed is a sort of tape relay. Someone abroad tapes it. Sends it to the US. We each copy it and pass it on. I'm looking forward to it, although I don't think this will be so interesting now that I already know the outcome.

I had high hopes about seeing the women's 5000 final. Only 15 minutes long, the announcers could go in and come out to commercial at virtually any time, and it lends itself well to taped coverage. It had three things that would really pull in the viewers: Track and Field News 1995 Athlete of the Year Sonia O'Sullivan, two Americans (Lynn Jennings and Amy Rudolph), and, of course, women - always a ratings getter. From what I've been told, Sonia pulled off the track with 900 meters remaining, already being 100 meters behind, and left the stadium Todd Williams style: without comment. Sonia did, however, choose to speak to the press and her hundreds of Irish supporters the next day, and explained that she had been having intestinal problems, or, as she put it, "The big D." Drawing from my years of experience on just such phenomena let me say that The big D can be a sign of dehydration, so drink plenty of water Sonia. I'm sure she knows that. Also, eat some rice. Rice tends to solidify things. Yes, rice will help with the 1500 meters which begins for her on Wednesday, and I hear she's all set to make a go of it again, in her own words, "starting from a clean slate."

On the men's side, it would appear that if Haile Gebrselassi does have a weakness, it would have to be cryptonite. The Ethiopian cut his last 1000 in 2:31. His last 5000 in 13:12 to end up with a 27:07 gold in the 10000. I had imagined that, under those conditions, the winning time would be 27:30ish Reportedly, it did leave him unable to jog a victory lap as he walked the whole thing. He also wasn't very appreciative of the sprinter's (i.e. hard) track, wondering why it had been constructed so. Having run 50 laps on the same surface, for the first time I find myself in a position to produce an intelligent comment: he's right. It's hard. Good traction, though! It took the skin right off one of my big toes, and I was wearing my Teflon-coated titanium-reinforced blister-proof socks. Hats off the Haile and Paul Tergat - the runner up in 27:08. If it hadn't been for the one, the other would have surely had a cake walk of a win.

So what's to look forward to now? Well, the 1500 is usually good for TV. Only four minutes in length, it's can hold the attention span of most viewers. With no Americans in the women's 10000 final, don't even bother tuning in for that. It won't be on. As the only event on the last day of competition, the marathon should provide 2+ hours of viewing excitement. We've got a star in the 5000 in the shape of Bob Kennedy. By now, most people have noted his uncanny resemblance to GI Joe with kung fu grip - also known as The Great American Hero. NBC can't stay away from that one.

On a more personal note, let me congratulate New Jersey born and bred marathoner Anne Lauck (she and I used to have the same coach) on her tenth place finish. I think she done good. I'm sure she's not satisfied with it (great athletes never are), and nothing short of an army tank would have stopped that Chinese woman from getting her in the last 400m, but she must have attained some sense of accomplishment. Tough run, Anne.

It's Saturday morning for me, and I'm all a twitter and giddy with excitement over the possibilities for tonight. Get a grip. I'm not referring to my personal life, but rather to the prospects for seeing two 1500 meters finals, men and women, and the men's 5000. I didn't bother catching any of the broadcast on Friday night. Well, OK, I did turn it on for about 10 minutes, but it's not as if I paid any attention. I did, however, catch the coverage of Michael Johnson's stunning world record in the 200. Aside from the fact that it was broadcast about an hour after it actually happened, the race looked great on TV. They must have shown it twelve times, and if the camera were to get just a little tighter in on MJ's face, we'd be able to tell whether or not he cleans house. I bet he does. I know I do. I've have decided to ask my shoe company come up with some gold throw-away shoes. I'm sure they'll be more than happy to rush them right out to me. We also caught both finals, men and women, of the 800 meters. I hear the women's winner took her victory lap in 89 seconds - setting a new Olympic Record for victory laps. Johnny Gray faded in the final 150m to finish seventh in his 800 final. I have to wonder if he might do better without his out-in-49 twilight zone style of racing, but if he doesn't go to the front, I really don't see anyone else doing it. People land on him for some of his lackluster big meet performances, and I might be doing it here, but he's still got a bronze medal from 1992, an AR in his event, and he's the only American who was able to get to that final. I consider myself a fan.

Regarding what we missed, there was a women's 10000, and a men's steeple last night. Remaining true to my word, I didn't watch, but I bet the women's race was a mess of flying elbows. Croghan put in a solid performance with his fifth place finish. He mentioned that he was running under very hot and heavy conditions. This makes sense. I'm in CT, and it's pretty damn humid up here too. The other columnist, Marc Davis, twisted his ankle or something and finished in 9:50. Common sense would have lead him to DNF in any other race, but, this being The Games, you might as well wrap it up as long as you're there.

I look forward to the men's 5000 especially tonight. With Haile Gebrselassi out, Bob Kennedy (AKA GI Joe) will be in serious contention for a medal. The only thing that might hurt him at this point is the fact that his semi heat went more than 30 seconds faster than the other heat. He ran something like 13:27 while some of his opponents ran 14:03ish. Sure, Bob is in great shape and can handle it, but that's a significant difference and Bob had to work considerably harder to get to his final. When I finished second in the Olympic Trials final, I had run the slowest qualifying time to get there. I think this definitely helped. At any rate, it should be a good one, and the only questions that will remain after tonight would have to do with whether or not Mr. Kennedy ever served in the US Special Forces. With no Americans in the 1500, you have to wonder whether it will be televised, but I have high hopes here (an alliteration). The Morceli story is a good one. Best middle distance runner ever. Choked in the 1992 Games. 1992 gold medalist Cacho is back in the final. Can he win? Look for some of these young Moroccans to pose a threat.

To address this whole 4x100m relay fiasco, by now everyone knows what the right thing to do is: leave Carl off the team. It's awful that, not only will NBC abandon covering most of the performances in the Games, but they will lobby and try to bring public pressure to put King Carl on the team. It seems ludicrous. I'm thankful for our Olympic trials system. I wouldn't want to choose the teams any other way. No one would have picked me for the Olympic Team, and, even though I am not in Atlanta I still feel a sense of accomplishment from my experience. Carl has his nine medals. I'm hoping those other guys can get just this one.

Marathon tomorrow morning. The wonderful thing about this one is that nothing else is scheduled for tomorrow. Look for 2.5 hours of coverage. OK, I'm sure they'll go to commercial just when the big breakaway happens (actually, they didn't do this at the critical point in the women's race so maybe I'm not being fair), but this will be interesting anyway. Bet there's going to be someone with maybe three for four kilometers left who thinks he's got a medal all set, and.....WHAM. This should really take something out of our three guys, meaning I won't have to worry about competing against them for the foreseeable future. Good luck Bob, Keith, and Mark. Take in plenty of fluids. There's nothing quite like a good beverage.

We saw easily one of the best Olympic marathon races ever, with three guys entering the stadium at nearly the same moment. Looks like my prediction that at least one person in medal range would fall apart in the last 5K was wrong. Those were three very strong athletes who picked it up considerably over the course of the last 5 miles. At one point, eventual race winner Josia Thugwani of South Africa ran a 4:53 mile on one of the uphill portions of the course, and he was in the process of being caught by eventual bronze medalist Eric Wainaina, so that may have been sub 4:50 for Eric. I was thinking that the Korean guy (Lee Bong-Ju with the silver) looked the best. Not just running-wise, but he looked coolest with his goatee and Korean headband. Yes, very Korean looking. He left no doubt as to which country he was representing. Then the Kenyan had this thing on his leg which looked like a bandage, but which Frank Shorter described as a tattoo. Maybe something tribal? On the American side, everyone looked OK running-wise until things started to pick up around 15 miles, and we saw a very entertaining piece on Bob Kempanen and his "hurling." It is interesting to note that all the Americans had bad haircuts - probably deliberate because they wanted them short for the likely hot weather. I don't think any of the medalists wore nasal strips either. These were worn the Polish runners in the early going, and made them look like serious goobers. Most remarkable was the fast winning time of 2:12:35. It seemed as though there were some athletes who wanted a quicker pace, which doesn't make much sense, given that all but three couldn't handle the pace when it did get going. Additionally, those guys were free to make a move whenever they wanted, no one was holding them back.

On Saturday night, we were once again treated to a no-show in the men's 5000. No, I'm not talking about Bob Kennedy not getting a medal, I'm talking about the TV blackout of the event. If I write my congressman about this, is there any legal course of action the people can take to do something about the TV coverage? I bet a lot of people, young and old, avid track fans or not, men and women, wanted to see that race. From what I've read it was a good one. With Bob taking his shot with 2 laps remaining, and getting outkicked by some really fast guys. The 1500 coverage was solid, with Morceli finally closing the deal on his gold. Too bad that young Moroccan went down like he did. He was in medal territory. On the women's side, Regina Jacobs did OK (but she's probably not happy), with extra time being spent on her heat where another runner nearly tore her shorts off.

I'll think of something to do about the TV coverage. I'm not as stupid as that picture on the top of this page would have you believe.