THE DAY RORY BROKE A STRING (OR SIX)
The word was out in Scotland
Rory was coming to town
He was to play in down town Paisley
At a pub, the Thistle & Crown
And local band Defender
Were picked to share the bill
Lead by a dour young slide man
A kilted lad named Phil
The hour was fast approaching
The concert all sold out
People had come from miles around
(Rory had that kind of clout)
The stage was all assembled
Marshalls, Voxes and light show
The guitars all tuned and ready
The band were raring to go
Rory took centre stage
Bass man Gerry to his right
Drums and keyboards on his left
It was an awesome sight
And with the sound of a 747
Coming in to land
Rory and his Strat took off
Riffs pouring from his hand
All was going well
As they went from song to song
As usual Rory was in charge, not realising
Things were about to go horribly wrong
He was playing a ripping solo
When he felt that dreaded ping
Knowing instantaneously
He'd broken his G string
Quick as a flash, without missing a beat
He pulled a spare string from his pocket
Deftly threaded it on to his axe and kept playing,
With the fury of a moon bound rocket
And as he took another solo
He felt that all was still not well
When he felt the B string bust its guts
He muttered "bloody hell"
But Gerry to the rescue
Took a solo and the heat
While Rory wired up again
To get the Strat back on its feet
But no sooner had he hit a chord
When all hell broke loose
He'd done his E strings top and bottom
Now he'd really cooked his goose
And ever faithful Tom O'Driscoll
Came running on the stage
"We've no more spare strings, use your Telly"
Rory just glared as if in a rage
But then a shout was heard
And a figure leapt from the stalls
It was young Hoolahan calling
"Here Rory, I've got this pack of Ernie Balls"
Quick as a flash Rory wired one up
But Tom had a better plan
And he sent Phil off for a hammer
Saying "Quick lad fast as you can"
When Phil returned Tom grabbed the "Ernies"
And said "Phil nail them one end to the floor"
"The other ends nail to the Strat"
While Rory poured out notes galore
When the show was over
And the gear all packed away
Over a pint or ten of Guinness
Rory was heard to say
"Now young Phil thanks for the strings"
"You really saved the day"
"And as for you Tom O'Driscoll"
"Keep that hammer away"
"But why" asked Tom a bit taken back
"It was a great plan and you were able to play"
"And with all those ripping encores"
"You blew the place away"
"That's the point" Rory replied
As he wiped his mouth of Guinness foam
"It's 2.00 am in the morning"
"I thought we'd never ever get home"
"You see Tom" Rory continued
"Your plan sure worked a treat"
"I was able to keep on playing"
"And with broken strings that was no mean feat"
"But your plan had one big drawback"
"That's why I played such a long encore"
"In your haste to keep me playing"
"Phil nailed my shoe to the floor"
Now every tale has a moral
And this tale has one too
If you nail strings to the guitar and floor
Be careful of your shoe
But what of our hero Hoolahan
Does he fade from public light?
No my friends I've heard it said
That he tinkered long in to the night
In the dark depths of Glasgow
Alone in his garden shed
Phil quietly fashioned a new type of axe
(He kept the plans safe under his bed)
Twas a hammer strung with Ernie Balls
And fitted with two single coil humbuckers
Guaranteed to play all night and stay in tune
And good for a fight with any truckers
But let's get back to Rory
There was a man who really could play
The type of muso who never let
Broken strings get in his way
And as we go through life
Getting caught up in each mishap
Let's be like Rory and restring ourselves
And always bounce on back.
Anon.
